hindolio

problem solved: make more money

Living Dead

I'll give you $20 for everything.

Pizza

That's the problem with collecting, there's always something there to remind you of the money you spent over a large span of time. But the reality is, it wasn't money you spent overnight. You got people who like to go on big vacations every year or others who go out every weekend and throw down some beers. How much money have they spent over the last 10 years? Lucky for them, there's nothing there to remind anyone of the money they spent. (Except that beer gut!)

DVDho78DTS

You make some good points but we are only getting a small glimpse at the situation. Who knows what sacrifices she has made for him, if any, and does owning 600 DVDs really bring lots of pleasure to Wannabe?

I'm not a materialistic person by any means, DVDs are the one thing I have a lot of (152 titles) and really only keep things for sentimental reasons or if I actually use it or need it. You can't take the movies with you when you pass on but you can the experiences you have watching them. If he never watches them or doesn't enjoy watching them with his wife since she doesn't like them maybe he should trim his collection down to the favorites. In the end though it comes down to the person, owning 1,000 movies is not something I'd be proud of with my modest budget and frankly would rather be out doing something than sitting in front of the TV all the time. I couldn't tell you the last time I watched consecutive new episodes of a television show, but some people can't go a week without it. Whatever floats your boat.

It is always entertaining to read how people justify it to themselves or others for owning so many. Usually hear the typical I don't smoke, drink, drugs, gamble etc etc. I don't do any of those things and wouldn't think I'd have to justify owning anything if the person knew me. Regardless, hope Wannabe and his family have a happy and productive journey.

Rockmjd23

What is that a Karl Marx quote?

Sondheim

Since I'm not married, I can't give you any great advice without seeming presumptuous, but here's my perspective as a DVD collector:

Movies are one of my passions, and they have become a big part of my life. That seems irrational to some people - especially to those who see movies as merely an entertaining waste of time and not as an art form - but that's okay. I still maintain pretty good grades at college and have a pretty good full-time job. My social life isn't super busy (I've always been a rather shy person) but I still hang out with friends fairly often. I also watch 3 or 4 movies a week, on average. Do I ever feel guilty for owning 600 DVDs? Not really. My collection is mostly made up of established classics and modern "critical favorites" - ones that hopefully won't make me cringe in 20 years time.

And hey, at least I don't smoke or do drugs!

On an additional note: I have promised myself that I will never buy a DVD if it prevents me from paying for the essentials - food, housing, tuition, gas, etc., and I've kept to that for the past six years that I've been collecting.

It would be exceptionally difficult for me to give up my collection, and I don't think I ever would unless my financial situation was truly desperate.

In short - I can understand the collector's mentality. I also understand that a lot of people don't have said mentality, and they tend to find the behavior of those who do as odd or wasteful. But if only they knew the joys of having such a passion.

Compromise with your wife. Set a budget for your future DVD purchases, and get rid of any DVDs you've grown tired of or that you don't think you'll ever look at again. Talk it out with her.

Anyways, good luck. I really think you can work out a somewhat more "gentle" arrangement. Of course, none of us here know everything about your relationship, so only you can decide what's best.

But for the love of heaven man - please don't sell your entire collection!

mzupeman2

It does seem a tad extreme that the entire collection is going away because of your wife. If you have so many, perhaps she should understand that it's a passion of yours. Sounds pretty unreasonable to me.

stingermck

So $10,000 / 600 titles = $16ish per disc.

Ouch!

You should hit up the pawn shops instead, for a 10 for $30 deal!

gcbma

Yikes!! I do all three: DVD purchasing, big annual vacations and beer every night (what's that every "every weekend" stuff?). Sigh, and all three make my life a little better.

bunkaroo

I would explain to her you're going to lose a lot money selling vs. what you spent. You could curtail your spending starting now, but selling what you have will probably get you less than you're expecting. Criterion's, box sets and OOP titles hold their value fairly well, but your average titles that have price dropped a couple of times will not get you much at all. Better off keeping them, because odds are you'll wind up spending the same amount you got for it after expenses the next time you rent it.

I'm engaged to a woman I've been with for 8 years. We have no kids and don't want kids. Our finances will stay separate after we're married just as they are now. We maintain one joint account we use to pay our mortgage and other household bills. Split straight down the middle. I don't tell her what to do with her money any more than she tells me. We respect what each other earns.

Now I've significantly pared down my collection - got rid of over 1/2 the films I had, because I realized I'll never have time to watch them all, but I have about 400 or more films I would never not own.

Seriously 10K is not that bad, especially spread over several years.

Wannabe

I figure I'd chime in with a few more details. First of all, I wasn't given an ultimatum - it was more like, "Fine, we've never really talked about this and I agree, this big collection of DVDs is probably not in the best interest of the family." So I volunteered to sell them to both recoup some of the money spent and as an act of good faith

I don't feel guilty. But the question remains: Did I really need to buy all of these DVDs? And the answer is a resounding "no." Often I rationalized buying new releases because I didn't want to "throw my money away" on rental fees. I also wanted to watch my movies when it was "convenient" to me. But the truth is that 90% of the stuff I own has only been watched once, or not all.

I'm man enough to accept the fact that my wife is right; I don't have enough time to watch (or in some cases re-watch) most of what I have. My Tivos have hundreds of hours of programming that I haven't yet watched. I'm always playing catch up with movies and television. And the worst part is that I work in television - which means for me, I must watch a lot of crappy tv to stay current, which takes away from the time I might have had for the kind of stuff I'd rather watch. Whatever.

So, yes, I'll probably take a huge hit when I sell my DVDs. I've checked prices on half/eBay - on some titles I might actually make money - on others, well, they aren't even worth the effort (2-Disc Minority Report for under $2! WTF?).

By the way, I'm not selling every single DVD I own. I'm keeping a couple dozen of the ones that I really love, like my Univeral Monster Legacy Set, Rockford Files sets, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, some obscure foreign films - the DVDs that really mean something to me.

To those who (probably in jest) recommend that I get a divorce, I want you to know that I was married before I started collecting DVDs and I plan to remain married to the same woman long after DVDs are obsolete. No DVD is more important than my wife or my child.

Finally, after all of this talk, is it bad that I'm still really looking forward to the August Steelbook release of the 20th Anniversary Edition of Robocop?

slop101

Fuckin'-A, it's goddamn Robocop!

Leon Liew

And to think that I am the only one suffering over here.

ASAPadam

Wannabe, you went from "My wife is making me get rid of my DVD collection" to "I wasn't given an ultimatum" and "[I] accept the fact that my wife is right."

Sounds like it's too late to help.

Silverscreenvid

Nobody "needs" to spend money on entertainment, whether it's DVDs, barhopping, playing golf, putting model trains together, attending Civil War re-enactments or what. It's a question of what you enjoy doing.

If you have, on your own, decided to move on because you really weren't getting that much enjoyment out of what you were doing, that's one thing (I got rid of my beer can collection when I got married). If you decided, with or without consultation with your wife to limit future purchases, that's another but also understandable.

I would just hate to be in a decision where I felt I had to give away something I genuinely enoyed to satisfy another person. This may be unsolicited, but I've found that men who wind up giving up something non-threatening that they enjoy (and not just giving it up but giving it away like you are doing) to satisfy a wife or girl friend wind up having to give other things up over and over again.

Rubix

looks like it's time to check that shoe closet and ask her how many feet she has. or her outfits. how many days in the week are there again?

of course, you are battling a female, so you will lose!!!

DJariya

Well, I say either use the money for a vacation or put it in the bank for your kid's education.

You have over 600 titles and you only want to keep 20 or so? I know your dead set on making amends with your wife since her confrontation must have really rattled you, but that's alot to dump. I say keep at least 100 and proudly display them on a nice shelf and then maybe drop your DVD budget to only titles that have good replay value for you. Hiding your DVD's got you in trouble in the 1st place. It also sounds like your weren't saving any money and I see that being a huge problem in a marriage. I know working in the TV Industry is really unstable work and I can see that your wife is probably worried that if you lose your job, you may not have any money to live on while looking for work.

movieking

My wife is actually pretty supportive of my DVD habit (she actually buys more DVDs for me now than I do). However, I made the decision on my own that I had way too many DVDs that I would never watch again, and I was starting to feel bad about the amount of money I was spending on it (or had already spent), so I really started to cut down on my purchases, and I got rid of a bunch. What I find now is I am able to pick up the new stuff I want by financing it by selling or trading the older stuff that I am not interested in anymore. It is pretty much status quo.

By my estimates, I have sold or traded somewhere around 500 DVDs, but I have never owned more than 200 or 250 at at time. Right now, I am under 80 (and this includes HD-DVDs). When I started to collect HD-DVDs, I made a conscious decision not to buy stuff that I would only want to watch once. I did get a few titles at the beginning that I'll trade, but that was more due to the fact that I wanted to have a couple of different titles to try out, and no stores were renting HD-DVDs at the time.

My worst DVD vice were those damn international limited editions that were a fortune to buy and ship here (and that is without the customs that I would always get nailed on). I have sold a majority of those, but I still have some left that I will continue to list on ebay.

Houstondon

Well, your latest followup seems more balanced than the title of the OP. It seems like you're backtracking but it's your life to enjoy as you see fit so whether you simply misled us originally or just over dramatized the circumstance; have fun.

FantasticVSDoom

Sounds a litte to me that you are using your wife to justify to yourself getting rid of your collection... Hell if you want to do it, do it, its your choice.

porieux

Man, I couldn't ever be bothered going to the trouble of selling something like a DVD. Not trying to disparage those who would in any way at all, but for me it just doesn't seem worth it to go to all the trouble of selling them only to lose money and get hardly anything in return. I'd rather just keep them or give them away.

taa455

Glad I don't have this problem with the wife!

Johnny Zhivago

Yes, it does. So, you have too many DVDs and not enough time to watch them then... Sounds perfectly reasonable to get rid of some of them, I do it all the time. My collection will never exceed 500, that's the amount of shelf space that I've given myself and quite honestly, no one is getting any younger here. If I had held on to every DVD that I've ever purchased, traded for, etc then I'm sure the count would be well over 1000 by now.

So, I picked a sub-genre that I really enjoy to "collect" - film noir - and I am very very rarely disappointed in any of those blind buys, other than DVD quality on some of the PD stuff. I enjoy it, my count is ~ 120 or so, so that leaves a few hundred other films (and music videos, concerts) that I love and will watch again and again - very few of those are new releases. Your wife is right there, rent the flavor of the week films.

One suggestion... You could trade some of them in to DVDPlanet for store credit for future purchases of titles that you just can't live without (like Robocop perhaps? I'm definitely in for that steelbook). No future money out of your pocket and you can still enjoy some new releases. That is, if you can live with eating the money that you've already spent.

I wish you luck with eBay, as you've already seen the bottom has dropped out for most "common" DVDs. As mentioned, the Criterions, some OOPs, collector's items, etc will still hold most of their value.

Deke Rivers

go in your closet and count how mainy pairs of shoes she has..oh and purses too..

mzupeman2

It's not fair to pick on the women for what they like if we've got a DVD habit. Our habits cost us some money every single week, where once in a while they'll treat themselves to something expensive, and yes, it's on things like shoes and purses they don't need as much of but hey, it makes them happy and they support us most of the time with our habit, right?