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Gigli review

Old 11-21-03, 10:43 PM
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here's the review you've all been waiting for

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Synopsis

Ben Affleck plays the title character, a none-too-bright mob goon ordered to kidnap the autistic son of a federal prosecutor. Jennifer Lopez is the considerably brighter and lesbian mob enforcer ordered to team up with Gigli to make sure nothing goes wrong. Sound like a promising set up for a romantic comedy? Apparently, the movie doesnít think so either, as it doesnít play like a romantic comedy. In fact, the film doesnít seem to have to the faintest idea as to what the hell it is supposed to be. Comedy? Thriller? Elmore Leonard-style crime comedy? Drama? None of the above is what you get. And yes, the film is really, really bad. Unfortunately, as a confirmed lover of horribly bad movies, Iím sorry to report that this is bad primarily in the sense of being a crashing bore. If this was ever supposed to be a comedy (and there are some faint signs that maybe that was the case, at least partly), the problem is that, unlike every other film genre, a comedy can never become so bad that it turns into another kind of comedy. It just likes there like a corpse, which is what this film does (even though there are occasional galvanic twitches when Christopher Walken shows up). So unlike The Swarm, which is very rewarding in its badness, Gigli will have you counting every slow second of its interminable 121 minutes.

Audio

The sound is pretty clean, but surprisingly flat for a brand new 5.1 release. The music comes off well, with a strong, very expansive sound. The sound effects are an almost total loss, however: there is virtually no surround action at all from them, even when the characters are wandering down busy streets (prime opportunities to create a fully enveloping soundscape). As well, the voices have a tendency to distort slightly when raised (this is particularly true of Affleckís).

Video

The picture on the other hand, is first-rate. The colours are bright and solid, the blacks are deep, the flesh tones accurate. There are no edge enhancement halos, and no grain. The resolution is extremely sharp, and the picture comes in both fullscreen and 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen ratios. So the movie looks great. Crap wrapped in silk, however, is still crap.

Special Features

Hereís where you know the release is being dumped: the only extras are trailers for Gigli, Anaconda, Main in Manhattan and Mona Lisa Smile. Iím not sure how Julia Roberts feels about her upcoming movie being tainted by this association, but there you go. The menu is just as no-frills as everything else.

Closing Thoughts

The big disappointment is not that the film is lousy (we all knew that) but that itís so boringly lousy. And the lack of extras destroys the kitsch value the disc might have had. And so the film crawls towards well-deserved oblivion.

Special Features
:: Trailers
(edited to update thread title and add review here as per forum rules -sfsdfd)

Last edited by sfsdfd; 11-24-03 at 09:06 PM.
Old 11-21-03, 11:43 PM
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dam sweet
Old 11-22-03, 12:11 AM
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Ben Affleck plays the title character...
Based on how "Gigli" sounds I thought it was the name of JLo's character. Yikes.
Old 11-24-03, 02:24 AM
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I'm counting the days!!!
Old 11-24-03, 10:21 AM
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Originally posted by NikePenguin
Based on how "Gigli" sounds I thought it was the name of JLo's character. Yikes.
I thought the same, until I found out recently on the boards.
Old 11-24-03, 10:49 AM
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I love it:
"Crap wrapped in silk, however, is still crap."

[Whoops, should I have used spoiler tags?]
Old 11-24-03, 11:34 PM
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I'm expecting my copy in the mail soon, and hope to have it posted by the end of the week.
Old 11-29-03, 06:54 PM
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Seabiscuit? T3? Pirates of the Caribean? Forget those, GIGLI was the best movie of the year. Hands down. I'm saddened that this is nt a full blown SE. Oh well. I'd double dip on this one for sure. Can't wait to get my paws on this!
Old 12-01-03, 03:46 PM
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The review's up, albeit a few days late:

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/read.php?ID=8518

Enjoy (in the loosest sense of the word)!
Randy
Old 12-01-03, 04:25 PM
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So Ben's name is Larry Gigli... yeah, there's comedy right there. And the director's name's Martin Brest? They should've just named the movie Giggly Breast.

I'm saddened that this is nt a full blown SE
Real funny. This film's so bad, nobody who worked on the film wanted to be associated w/ it. Even the janitor didn't want to put it on his CV. It's do bad, the studio will discontinue the DVD in no time, so prepare to stock up before they go out of stock, and get ready to get rich on ebay.

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