pezboy

"That's probably why you're so jealous of Stuart. JEALOUS"
"I am not jealous of Stuart. JEALOUS"
-----------------------------------------------------------

"You're going to suck all the air out of the room!"
"Thanks Bill. You're doing wonders for my confidence."
"Screw your confidence. This is about me!"
"Bill, will you stop screaming at me"
"NO, YOU STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!"
----------------------------------------------------------

"So what part of Africa ya' from?"
"Shut up, Matthew"
"Seriously, say something in African"
"Shut the f...."

Maximi

"Gazzizza my dilznoofuses!"

"I remember one time, my father came home from a night on the town drinking, which had of course turned into a week, and my mother said, "Is there anything you won't drink" And he snapped back, "Yeah. Poison, cuz I'm saving it for you!" Myself and my brother, who's now an alcoholic, just about died laughing. Good times..."

(Yes, I knew I butchered that second quote bad, but it was worth it. ;-)

Maximi

[Stolden from IMDB, but a classic scene all the same, if for nothing more than Milos' complaint. ]

[Reading cards from the complaint box.]
David "Dave" Nelson: "You suck." "You suck." "Howard Stern rules." "If you can read this you are a dork." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl." "We need more complaint cards." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a guy."
Joe Garelli: Hey!
David "Dave" Nelson: [pulling out a fortune cookie slip] "You will go on a journey, happy long time." "Matthew is a moron." "No I'm not." "Yes you are." "No I'm not infinity." "Yes you are infinity plus one." And this one, "I have doobie in my funk," which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, "Chocolate City." Uh, "You got peanut butter in my chocolate. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. Together they taste like crap." "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I like it." I don't think I get this one, it says, "I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
Lisa Miller: I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor.
David "Dave" Nelson: Oh. Refrigem---oh, then that one's legitimate. [continues reading the complaint cards] Uh, "Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks."
Bill McNeal, Beth, Lisa Miller, Matthew Brock, Joe Garelli: SHAFT!
Bill McNeal: I thought we'd all enjoy that.
David "Dave" Nelson: [reading one last card] And, "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a complaint box," which is actually kinda funny.

pezboy

"Hey Joe, who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks?"
"Why, that would be Shaft"
"And who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?"
"Again, Bill...Shaft"
"Shut up you guys"
"What are you guys doing?"
"Just talkin' about Shaft"
"I can dig it"
-------------------------------------------------------

"Why are you trying steal James Caan from me?"

huzefa

Joe: "Matthew, you paid $7 billion for a phone bill?!"
Matthew: "I'm not smart!!"

pezboy

"Hey Johnny---Did you hear me?"
"Sorry slugger, I missed it"
"Well I can't do it if you don't listen."
"Yes you can"
"I wasn't talking TO YOU"
-------------------------------------------------

"I thought you said MAN overboard"

Samuel

Any of you know that Malt Liquor commercial that Phil did?

That's some funny stuff.

Spicollidriver1

"Good day sir" "I said good day sir" They said that a few times on the show, and I laugh everytime.

The Antipodean

(paraphrase from memory)

"We, sir, are NOT a barbershop quartet!"

What a great series. So glad A&E is now rerunning it...

pezboy

"Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor---DAMN!"

sundog

Lisa to Dave, refering to Bill's on-air comments:

"He is not Howard Stern and you are not Ba-Ba-Booey!"

And of course:
"Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor, it's crazappin!"

Samuel

pezboy

"Well Matthew, it looks like it's up to us to repopulate the Earth."
"Okay...but no gay stuff"
-----------------------------------------------------

"You're jealous 'cause I'm king of the hobos."

Samuel

THE REAL DEAL WITH BILL McNEIL!

pezboy

"Why would she do that, Lisa? Why would she...french her daddy?"

Spicollidriver1

"Dude, every week is Charles Bronson week on TNT."

huzefa

Bill: "Like Custer, we will make our last stand."
Catherine: "Wasn't Custer massacred?"
Bill: "Big Chief Custer? No! He killed many paleface that day."

pezboy

"Are those minutes, or space minutes?"
"I do not know the answer to that."
----------------------------------------------------
"All my sweet bitches"

sundog

Jimmy James - "I like parties. You like a good party Joe?"
Joe - "That's why I went to college Mr. James. That's also why I flunked out."
Jimmy James - "Yeah, me too. But hey, I didn't finish college and I'm a billionaire, and you're...what do you do?"
Joe - "I'm an electrician."
Jimmy James - "Well...things were different in my day."

GoldenJCJ

Dave: "Bill, haven't you ever heard the expression when life gives you lemons you make lemonade?"
Bill: "Dave, haven't you ever heard the expression when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for."

pezboy

"This is a GOOD evening, these women are LADIES, these men are GENTLEMEN, and tonight they're going to see...Bill McNeil!!"
---------------------------------------------------------
"Like earlier today, Joe bet me I couldn't guess which hand a pencil was in even though it sticking way out..."
"You don't say."

Phuzbox

"Garelli, Joe Garelli."
"Your last name is Garelli?"

Hehe, I love NewsRadio.

pezboy

"No one can follow the Dancing Matthews"

huzefa

Bill: "More than a hundred years ago, people fought to have slavery abolished! No offense, Catherine."

Catherine: "Why would I be offended?"

Bill" "I don't know, I'm just covering my bases."

Hehe, it was really funny at the time.

junkie

"No one likes a sloppy drunk Lisa"