DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
04-13-10, 01:39 PM
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DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
I've never posted about a review here before, but I just couldn't resist when I read Kurt Dahlke's undoubtedly spot-on review of Mark McNabb's latest exercise in regional dimwittery.
At one point, Mr. Dahlke writes:
I've been hoping for this to happen for over 20 years! 
Though I now live in Toronto, rather thankfully, I'm a native of the region of Ontario, Canada wherein McNabb has been shooting his "movies" for well over two decades,. He hasn't made a good one yet. Thus I suspect if someone told him to move on, it would simply drive him to make BUCK OWENS & THE MAGICAL GRAIN SILO TIME MACHINE out of sheer spite.
McNabb's stomping ground is a small town called Petrolia (approx. pop. 5000), so-named for it's long-ago status as a major Canadian oil-producing center. Lovely little place, actually, but also the kind of place where someone like McNabb can be hailed a hometown hero, while the entire outside world laughs off yet another of his well-intentioned but dreadfully dough-headed and budget-challenged pictures. The weekly town newspaper used to blow him whenever he cranked out another one of his epics—don't know if they still do—and his response every single time was that a truly resourceful filmmaker didn't need to live in Toronto or Hollywood to make good movies, and that little ol' Petrolia could enjoy a slice of Hollywood right in their own backyard thanks to the endless imagination of Mark McNabb. Stop it, I'm serious.
For about four years back in the late 80's and early 90's, I wrote movie reviews for the daily newspaper in a much larger city nearby (I know, I know, "those who can't do . . .", but seriously, neither can McNabb! He just hasn't figured it out yet). My "style", such as it was, was an unsubtle "homage" (ha!) to Joe Bob Briggs—boobs! sex! car wrecks! explosions!—which occasionally angered McNabb and his delusional hangers-on to the point of actually writing letters to the editor! (ahh, small-town life: "Dear Sir, I'm an important local filmmaker and this man drives me mad . . ."). I re-weaved McNabb's gaseous ravings into the following week's review a couple of times, for laughs. I will admit, I was almost as big an asshole as he was back then. Almost.
McNabb's IMDB filmography lists four films as director, beginning in 2006, but the actual list of his "accomplishments" is much, much longer, dating back to at least 1988. That the list only had four or five films on it the last time I read it a few years ago suggests that McNabb is a master revisionist. Perhaps he's hoping his "missing" features will be unearthed posthumously and the world will finally understand his genius long after he's gone, just as as succeeding generations did with the masterworks of Harold P. Warren, William Grefe, David Kramarsky, and Coleman Francis.
Another reason McNabb's current resume begins in 2006 is because that year marks the first time he was able to attract marquee names to Petrolia to star in one of his films, in this case Nick Mancuso and Roddy Piper in the "thriller" BLIND EYE. Presumably, in McNabb's mind, that's when his true career as an auteur was born. Why Piper returned for two more pictures is anybody's guess. Sex tape? I don't know. (rumour has it he produced an earlier picture starring Chris Klein, though it appears on neither man's filmography, tellingly)
He also directed a "50's Musical" back in the mid-1990's—using real talent trucked in from Toronto—which actually aired on Canada's chi-chi Showcase cable network. At 3 in the morning. In fact, many of his pictures have been picked up for late-night TV slots, overseas sales and DVD releases, testament to the man's ability to pimp his product. This does not mean they're actually good. Just profitable. Give him credit for keeping the spirit of the old exploitationeers alive - "Make the poster first, we'll do the movie later!"
I will also say this in favour of some of McNabb's films. I once met one of his cinematographers through a former coworker. That guy had serious talent, but I don't think he ever had the ambition to move beyond such dismal regional fare.
It's been a dog's age since I had the strength to face a McNabb picture head-on, particularly without downing a bottle of Tums or kicking a hole through the TV, but Mr. Dahlke's review has provided evidence that the man is, apparently, still very much in business of suckering indie distributors into releasing his backyard excretions on DVD with deceptively flashy artwork. I know I shouldn't track down this new Buck Owens adventure, or whatever the hell it's called, but I really need to see if it's every bit the equal of the camcorder westerns he produced in the late 80's and "premiered" at Petrolia's rustic Victoria Playhouse to serious acclaim from all the farmers in attendance.
For those brave enough:
http://www.skylightfilms.ca/skylightpeople.html
Anyhoo . . .
At one point, Mr. Dahlke writes:
Someone needs to have enough heart to tell McNabb and crew to move on.
Though I now live in Toronto, rather thankfully, I'm a native of the region of Ontario, Canada wherein McNabb has been shooting his "movies" for well over two decades,. He hasn't made a good one yet. Thus I suspect if someone told him to move on, it would simply drive him to make BUCK OWENS & THE MAGICAL GRAIN SILO TIME MACHINE out of sheer spite.
McNabb's stomping ground is a small town called Petrolia (approx. pop. 5000), so-named for it's long-ago status as a major Canadian oil-producing center. Lovely little place, actually, but also the kind of place where someone like McNabb can be hailed a hometown hero, while the entire outside world laughs off yet another of his well-intentioned but dreadfully dough-headed and budget-challenged pictures. The weekly town newspaper used to blow him whenever he cranked out another one of his epics—don't know if they still do—and his response every single time was that a truly resourceful filmmaker didn't need to live in Toronto or Hollywood to make good movies, and that little ol' Petrolia could enjoy a slice of Hollywood right in their own backyard thanks to the endless imagination of Mark McNabb. Stop it, I'm serious.
For about four years back in the late 80's and early 90's, I wrote movie reviews for the daily newspaper in a much larger city nearby (I know, I know, "those who can't do . . .", but seriously, neither can McNabb! He just hasn't figured it out yet). My "style", such as it was, was an unsubtle "homage" (ha!) to Joe Bob Briggs—boobs! sex! car wrecks! explosions!—which occasionally angered McNabb and his delusional hangers-on to the point of actually writing letters to the editor! (ahh, small-town life: "Dear Sir, I'm an important local filmmaker and this man drives me mad . . ."). I re-weaved McNabb's gaseous ravings into the following week's review a couple of times, for laughs. I will admit, I was almost as big an asshole as he was back then. Almost.
McNabb's IMDB filmography lists four films as director, beginning in 2006, but the actual list of his "accomplishments" is much, much longer, dating back to at least 1988. That the list only had four or five films on it the last time I read it a few years ago suggests that McNabb is a master revisionist. Perhaps he's hoping his "missing" features will be unearthed posthumously and the world will finally understand his genius long after he's gone, just as as succeeding generations did with the masterworks of Harold P. Warren, William Grefe, David Kramarsky, and Coleman Francis.
Another reason McNabb's current resume begins in 2006 is because that year marks the first time he was able to attract marquee names to Petrolia to star in one of his films, in this case Nick Mancuso and Roddy Piper in the "thriller" BLIND EYE. Presumably, in McNabb's mind, that's when his true career as an auteur was born. Why Piper returned for two more pictures is anybody's guess. Sex tape? I don't know. (rumour has it he produced an earlier picture starring Chris Klein, though it appears on neither man's filmography, tellingly)
He also directed a "50's Musical" back in the mid-1990's—using real talent trucked in from Toronto—which actually aired on Canada's chi-chi Showcase cable network. At 3 in the morning. In fact, many of his pictures have been picked up for late-night TV slots, overseas sales and DVD releases, testament to the man's ability to pimp his product. This does not mean they're actually good. Just profitable. Give him credit for keeping the spirit of the old exploitationeers alive - "Make the poster first, we'll do the movie later!"
I will also say this in favour of some of McNabb's films. I once met one of his cinematographers through a former coworker. That guy had serious talent, but I don't think he ever had the ambition to move beyond such dismal regional fare.
It's been a dog's age since I had the strength to face a McNabb picture head-on, particularly without downing a bottle of Tums or kicking a hole through the TV, but Mr. Dahlke's review has provided evidence that the man is, apparently, still very much in business of suckering indie distributors into releasing his backyard excretions on DVD with deceptively flashy artwork. I know I shouldn't track down this new Buck Owens adventure, or whatever the hell it's called, but I really need to see if it's every bit the equal of the camcorder westerns he produced in the late 80's and "premiered" at Petrolia's rustic Victoria Playhouse to serious acclaim from all the farmers in attendance.
For those brave enough:
http://www.skylightfilms.ca/skylightpeople.html
Anyhoo . . .
Last edited by Brian T; 04-13-10 at 06:11 PM.
04-13-10, 03:12 PM
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Re: DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
Oh man ... it's often quite hard to rip up someone's hard work, so it's nice to know that maybe no hard work was involved in McNabb's work, (other than hustling) and that he's apparently earned the derision fairly.
I mean, even Tommy Wiseau has a bit of style and verve, McNabb's Owens movies are nothing if not completely inert.
I'll be fearfully checking out the above link now.
I mean, even Tommy Wiseau has a bit of style and verve, McNabb's Owens movies are nothing if not completely inert.
I'll be fearfully checking out the above link now.
04-13-10, 06:06 PM
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DVD Talk Limited Edition
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Re: DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
What has always struck me most odd about McNabb is that he insists on working exclusively in high-concept "Hollywood" genres (fantasy, action, family comedy, western, horror, etc.), despite almost never having the cash, much less the acting talent, to do any of them justice. He owns some decent technology—you can see that in the footage, despite its inertia—which makes me wonder where he might be today if he'd reigned in his delusions of grandeur a decade ago and took a shot at a short-form chamber piece. On second thought, naahhh, he'd probably have found a way to work a child spy or a bumbling redneck villain into it, so it wouldn't have made a difference in the long run.
His style seems far better suited to regional commercials ("All this week at Red Tilton Chev-Olds!") or perhaps industrial films ("Your New Furnace and You!") than feature-length motion pictures.
If nothing else, the locals he hires probably get a kick out of working in the "flickers". Gives 'em something to show grandma and grandpa at Christmas, I guess. The rest of us? Oh, how we suffer. Like I said, though, he probably makes enough of a modest profit on the rights to these things to keep making more of them, and maybe even send his kids, if he has any, to a legitimate film school some day. I believe his own education was by way of the Videographic College of Rec-Room (better known as the VCR).
Who knows, 40 years from now, McNabb could have a cult that would make Jerry Warren spin in his grave, while the rest of us will be little more than reams of internet forum posts archived at the Wayback Machine.
I mean, even Tommy Wiseau has a bit of style and verve, McNabb's Owens movies are nothing if not completely inert.
Just pretend those are your family members and neighbours getting their fifteen minutes of local celebrity. That might make it easier.
I wouldn't be surprised if he spots the modest spike in traffic to his site from the link in this thread and signs up just to rip me a new one. Guess we'll see if I'm worth his time . . .
Last edited by Brian T; 04-13-10 at 06:17 PM.
04-13-10, 10:08 PM
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Re: DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
Well, I'm sure he ascribes to the 'any publicity is good publicity' school of thought, and there might indeed be a day when his movies are, if not revered then at least marveled at for all the wrong reasons.
While the two I've seen are somewhat technically acceptable - I'm sure you noted my nod to better cinematography in the second Owens flick - what confuses me most is what seems to be a will to incompetence. It's like there's absolutely NO INTEREST in getting good performances or a coherent script.
But hey, he's making movies, and probably most of us here would be pretty happy to have a career in that industry, no matter what the capacity.
The trouble is McNabb wants us to watch his stuff.
While the two I've seen are somewhat technically acceptable - I'm sure you noted my nod to better cinematography in the second Owens flick - what confuses me most is what seems to be a will to incompetence. It's like there's absolutely NO INTEREST in getting good performances or a coherent script.
But hey, he's making movies, and probably most of us here would be pretty happy to have a career in that industry, no matter what the capacity.
The trouble is McNabb wants us to watch his stuff.
Last edited by Kurt D; 04-13-10 at 10:28 PM.
04-13-10, 10:15 PM
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DVD Talk Limited Edition
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Re: DVD Talk Review: 'Billy Owens and the Secret of the Rune'
Behold!
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<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OXzPx3UH6jg&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OXzPx3UH6jg&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
And here's one that actually looks quite good, until you see the whole film. At least Roddy appears to actually act in this one. I'm not sure what he's attempting in the Billy Potter movies, but it ain't acting:
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8-pgs-FLt48&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8-pgs-FLt48&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
Couldn't agree more, based on the cross-section of his 20-year filmography I've had the displeasure of sitting through on late night cable and/or masochistic "bad movie" nights. The trailers I've posted here clearly show he can frame a shot, and his cinematographer(s) can make even your average grade-school teacher or factory worker turned actor look reasonably professional until they open their mouths, but that's about where the semblance to actual filmmaking ends.
He's doing what he loves. No denying that. You'd just think at some point, he'd actually get better at it, but I suppose if it pays the bills . . .
UPDATE: Found another one, for STUDY HELL, filmed in my old high school no less.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MFMGf1eE5IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MFMGf1eE5IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-RU12o72yAA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-RU12o72yAA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OXzPx3UH6jg&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OXzPx3UH6jg&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
And here's one that actually looks quite good, until you see the whole film. At least Roddy appears to actually act in this one. I'm not sure what he's attempting in the Billy Potter movies, but it ain't acting:
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8-pgs-FLt48&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8-pgs-FLt48&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
While the two I've seen are at least technically competent - I'm sure you noted my nod to better cinematography in the second Owens flick - what confuses me most is what seems to be a will to incompetence. It's like there's absolutely NO INTEREST in getting good performances or a coherent script.
UPDATE: Found another one, for STUDY HELL, filmed in my old high school no less.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MFMGf1eE5IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MFMGf1eE5IE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
Last edited by Brian T; 04-13-10 at 10:28 PM.
