Breakfast with Girls

Today I was waiting in line for a matinee showing of Syriana, and this woman was blathering away to her mother and sister about pretty much every movie she had seen in the last six months. Naturally, she was spoiling just about all of them, despite their requests for her not to.

I had seen all of them that she was talking about, or I had no interest in them, but I had been casually thinking about renting The Constant Gardener and of course this brainless sow blithely spoiled that, too. One of them asked what Syriana was about and she started talking authoritatively about it, so as I was about to turn around and tell her to knock it off, I realized that she had only seen the trailer.

I mean, what the hell? She was probably one of those people who came out of The Empire Strikes Back and said/yelled, "Wow, I can't believe that guy in the black mask is Luke's father!"

Jackskeleton

You should have turned around and told her to shut her god damn mouth.

Robert

Shoulda knocked her the fuck out!

RichC2

Ahh, the quality Simpsons flashbacks.

I hate people who do that, but I'm guilty of doing similar, however, it's always been around people I knew and for movies nobody has heard of. Though, I can't think of many people pissed at me for spoiling the end of 3-Iron.

animalmystic

Stupid bitch

mndtrp

Hand her a piece of paper with myspace.com written on it. Tell her to be a critic there, instead of in the theater.

Giles

and I am someone that would have - "shut your pie hole"

mdc3000

That's awful...i have no problem telling people like that to shut the fuck up... but don't let her "spoilage" stop you from renting Constant Gardener...great movie and her "spoilers" probably won't actually spoil it, since it's so well done.

MATT

Demontooth

I may be in the minority on this, but most movies I go and see I always read the entry on themoviespoiler.com. I don't know why, but it doesn't bother me to know how a movie is going to end before I watch it.

Libby

man I hate when people do that....I would have asked her nicely to well....shut the fuck up!

Kicker_of_Elves

I would have given her the evil eye.

The Bus

Spoil the end of her life by saying: "You're going to die alone without friends or family."

Breakfast with Girls

digidoh

There was an episode of The Honeymooners classic 39 ("A Matter of Record"), where, prior to his mother-in-law's visit, Ralph characterizes her as a blabbermouth and bets Alice that within three minutes of arrival, her mother will start an argument. Ralph sets up an alarm clock to prove his point.

Within those three minutes, mother-in-law implies Ralph is not a good provider, he's eating all the food, Alice could have married somebody better, etc. All the while, Ralph is boiling inside because he told Alice he wouldn't say a word. When Alice tells mom that Ralph and Ed are going to a play, she dismisses the show as predictable and gives away the identity of the murderer. The alarm clock goes off and Ralph says, "YOU ... are a BLABBERMOUTH!"

Words don't do justice to Gleason's outburst, but here's a link to the script:

http://www.paradiselost.org/blab.html

and to a WAV file (use blabbermouth to search):

http://www.haminahamina.com/wavs.html


That woman was ... a BLABBERMOUTH!

EDITS: October 2008. Changed audio link (again); the previous one is now dead.
April 2007 changed "...he said he wouldn't say a word" to "...he told Alice he wouldn't say a word." Less repetitive and makes more sense (I hope).

ShallowHal

I was just about to watch that!

thegingerbreadm

Thatis insane...although i knew someone who knew who won Survivor two years in a row and i made her tell me...and she was right each time...so there i sat watching the show knowing the outcome...so i guess im in the same club

Breakfast with Girls

You, sir, have convinced me to buy the DVD set. I was the entire time I was reading that.

PopcornTreeCt

I have a friend who doesn't mind being spoiled when telling him a movie. I'm kinda the same way, film is a visual medium, not a story-driven one. Movie spoilers aren't nearly as bad as book spoilers.

SINGLE104

Just another motor mouth wench!

FantasticVSDoom

This is a new thing with kids as well...Waiting in line for a movie, out comes a group of teenagers, and they start yelling the end and various parts of the movie to the audience that is waiting in line for the next showing. This has happened 3 times in the last 6-7 month to me. Needless to say, I hate kids even more now.

Groucho

Not true at all. Nearly all mainstream films, and even most indies, are very much story-driven.

dadaluholla

I'm actually kind of surprised that you had to wait in a line to see Syriana.

freudguy

I would have turned around to give her the Donald Sutherland stare from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Nothing shuts someone up like pointing at them, staring with insane eyes and yelling "AAAWWWWHHHHHHH".

Breakfast with Girls

It was actually a packed theater, although there were only two showings a day. They only had two ticket counters open, so there was a line out to the parking lot.

RocShemp

That happened to me while waiting for Underworld: Evolution to start. Some woman behind me was telling her friend how great Hostel was and actually detailed every single plot twist in the film, from beginning to end. I wanted to move but I was alone saving the seats for me and my friend while he was buying the nachos and soda. I felt tempted to ask her to shut up but I realized that she might think I was eavesdropping (which is funny cos I was trying NOT to hear what she was saying). So I finally gave up and now I know every single detail of Hostel. I'm now trying to forget it all before I see the film. Thank goodness she didn't Syrianna or any other film I'm interested in seeing.