Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > Entertainment Discussions > Book Talk
Reload this Page >

If LOTR was written by someone else?

Book Talk A Place To Discuss Books and Audiobooks

If LOTR was written by someone else?

Old 12-24-02, 12:28 AM
  #1  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Where the sky is always Carolina Blue! (Currently VA - again...)
Posts: 5,167
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
If LOTR was written by someone else?

Just found this link on another site. Only read the first page so far, but most of these are REALLY good.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0&pagenumber=1

Tuan Jim
Old 12-24-02, 06:04 AM
  #2  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: City of the lakers.. riots.. and drug dealing cops.. los(t) Angel(e)s. ca.
Posts: 54,199
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Frankly, I always find the questions such as "What if ____ was directed by someone else" or "what if ____ was written by someone else" to be pretty pointless.

I mean it is the creator who creates the story. But regardless, this is interesting concept. I enjoyed these:
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"

"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."

-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR.

and man, a big smile fell on my face when I read this one:

We were 20 steps from the exit when the giant flaming Balrons first appeared over our heads. These weren't your normal giant flaming Balrons but some sort of interdimensional Maia that would sit and spin in mid air before dissolving before your very eyes and sneaking up behind you. Gandalf had the pipe and I had the ring which, so far, I had been able to resist trading to the local drug lords for another package of white. Gandalf was shouting random Macrohydration spells while simultaneously trying to not trip over his robes and fall face first into the local pools of goo. Legolas took another drink from his flask and, once again, began explaining how elves were different than humans and much, much mellower.
- Hunter S. Thompson
Old 12-24-02, 09:18 AM
  #3  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Where the sky is always Carolina Blue! (Currently VA - again...)
Posts: 5,167
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
The Hunter S. Thompson one was really good, and there are a number of other really good ones too. Just a funny idea -- taking a writers style and fitting it to LoTR. Not the whole "What if" idea, but just a matter of style.

Tuan Jim
Old 12-26-02, 06:24 PM
  #4  
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
LOTR is the father of trilogy kind of novel.
Old 12-31-02, 12:31 PM
  #5  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 3,393
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
LOTR is the father of trilogy kind of novel.
Old 01-01-03, 11:30 AM
  #6  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 3,063
Received 7 Likes on 6 Posts
BWHAHAHAHA!

I've read that entire message thread.

The CNN Report and EverQuest versions made me laugh out so loud I woke my parents up.
Old 01-01-03, 12:50 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 1,558
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
People were always asking me, did I know Gollum.

"AAAIEEE!"

With a crazed and deformed Stoor clenching his jaw on your finger, you only speak in vowels.

With my finger, I can feel the half-chewed fish stuck behind his tongue. I totally forgot about the whole Ring destruction thing for a second and I wondered how clean his teeth were.

The cave we're standing in won't be here in three minutes. You take an ancient evil Ring of Power and add a 98-percent concentration of flaming lava. Explosion. I know this because Sauron knows this.

This is our world now. Two minutes.

Two minutes to go and I'm wondering how I got here...

Fade to a support group: "Remaining Hobbits Together."

--Openning of Chuck Pahlaniuk's LoTR

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.