Rock Band: Smells Like Teen Spirit release date

PopcornTreeCt · 08-23-09, 02:13 PM

Hi Otters,

I've been weighing whether or not to call upon you guys for advice so finally today I'm asking for your help.

About 4 months back, I started going out with a co-worker of mine. (Yes, I know, another red flag). She was separated at the time. Her husband had been living in Texas. She said she was going to be divorced. She also has 2 young kids.

We went out and I went in with the idea that this was going to be nothing serious and just kinda have some fun. However, we developed some very strong feelings for each other. Without being cliche, I would say we fell in love with each other. We saw each other about 1 or 2 times a week only. She had kids to tend to after work.

She never asked me to act the role of the father or anything like that. I had met her kids and they were wonderful. Having no kids of my own, I certainly felt unprepared but I was certainly willing to give it a try. So, yes, I was willing to marry and love this woman who was older than me and with 2 kids. It would've worked out too if not for her husband.

Her husband who had been living in Texas at the time, found out that we were seeing each other. So, what he do? Like every other controlling husband he comes back to Florida to take her back. (Her youngest child was born in October of last year, he wasn't there. I suppose he just knocked her up and vanished.) Back on point, so now he comes back and terrorizes her. Another note: he's unemployed and she's working. He watches over the finances like a hawk and berates her for every dollar she spends. He verbally abuses her non-stop anytime they're in the same room. The kids, of course, are witnesses to it. In fact, when she did tell him that she wanted a divorce he got angry and shattered her cell phone and iPod, and ripped the wires out from the PC.

About a couple weeks back, I went to Europe. It was an amazing trip. I kept in touch with her through e-mail. On the very end of the trip, I get a call from her where she's just crying and crying. He went all stalker and hacked into her e-mail or installed some kind of snooping program and saw e-mails that we wrote back and forth. In those e-mails, we talked about her leaving him and living together, getting married, living a beautiful life together. Well, that made him even crazier and they had a fight. He kicked her in the stomach and then hit her in the head while she was laying on the ground. She couldn't get up for 10 minutes. She didn't call the police. She said, when she called me hysterically crying, that she didn't want him to not be able to see his children.

It infuriated me so much. The day after, I get an e-mail from the asshole saying "this isn't a threat but please stop seeing my wife, i'm trying to get back with my family, etc." of course I just ignored it. The nerve this guy has to send me an e-mail like that after he beats the shit out of her.

I kept telling her to move out but she wants to stay in the house, well then I told her to change the locks on the doors. But she says "it's his house too". Basically, I can't win. She's relying on him to move out. Remember how I said he's verbally abusive every moment they're in the same room. Yes, still happening. He doesn't touch her anymore cause she threatened the police. She has a new cell phone because I bought it for her. She's afraid to spend her money because he watches it. She won't move out because she has no money. She won't change the locks because I don't know, she doesn't want to put him out, I guess.

Today, I get a call from her this morning that he's coming to pay me a visit. Apparently, he looked me up in the white pages. So, he came and I didn't answer the door.

I told her this was it. I feel like she's not doing enough to get rid of him. I told her we should take a break and hopefully soon, she will be divorced and he'll be out of her life.

I've tried searching and looking up material on abused wives and help and I e-mailed her a bunch of links. She doesn't have any family around here to go to. She did look up apartments at one time but then she said she couldn't afford them. I told her that her and the kids can stay at my place but she thinks I'm crazy.

Thanks for reading.

What do you suggest she do?

Dr Mabuse · 08-23-09, 02:20 PM

Cut all ties with her and forget you ever knew her.

Kicker_of_Elves · 08-23-09, 02:21 PM

I concur with the Dr's assessment.

Tracer Bullet · 08-23-09, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kicker_of_Elves

I concur with the Dr's assessment.

x2

Trevor · 08-23-09, 02:30 PM

I will miss your posts here, and will point at the future double murder/suicide newspaper articles and say "I sort of knew that guy".

mike45 · 08-23-09, 02:30 PM

Bail Now. Before it's too late.

clappj · 08-23-09, 02:33 PM

You said it yourself, "I can't win."

You're screwing around with a married woman, with an abusive husband, who holds his best interest ahead of yours (not to mention hers and their children).
Move on, and don't draw this out!

DeltaSigChi4 · 08-23-09, 02:35 PM

who is this actress

E

zombeaner · 08-23-09, 02:36 PM

As tempting as it is to get involved, if the woman doesn't want help, you can't force it upon her. I do fear for the children, since neither mother nor father have any business looking after them, at least according to your story.

Nick Danger · 08-23-09, 02:38 PM

She isn't into you. She's using you as a tactic in the game with her husband.

If she wanted to leave him, she would have done it. I know someone who packed what would fit into a car and drove 800 miles. It was worth abandoning the rest of her possessions to get away from that man.

Leave her. Be prepared for some absolutely heartbreaking emails from her, because she is really good at pushing your buttons.

The Cow · 08-23-09, 02:41 PM

You are hearing her side of the story. There is always more to what you are hearing.

Regardless, you are being used as the crutch.

Get out now, this one is obvious.

Mrs. Danger · 08-23-09, 02:43 PM

The one thing you know for certain is that she cheats on her husband.

JasonF · 08-23-09, 02:46 PM

I'm going to be the dissenting voice and say that you should rescue her from her abusive husband.

Just kidding. You can't force her to help herself. Here's the part where I knew you should get out:

Quote:

She didn't call the police. She said, when she called me hysterically crying, that she didn't want him to not be able to see his children.

He's a danger to her, he's a danger to their children. Until she realizes that, she's hopeless and by having anything to do with her, you're just asking to get hit by shrapnel.

Coral · 08-23-09, 02:56 PM

If past cases are any indication, in an altercation with him you will wind up being shot in the face and die. Eventually your father (with the help of a friend of his) will successfully carry out a scheme that will kill your girlfriend's husband.

Your death will be in vain as the Academy will fail to honor your story with a much deserved Oscar.

movie diva · 08-23-09, 02:56 PM

Run now, if she wanted out she would call the police, get him out of the house, change the locks and make arragments for him to see the kids with supervision. If he knows where you live, take care and watch your back, he may try to hurt you. Good luck.

Giantrobo · 08-23-09, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Mabuse

Cut all ties with her and forget you ever knew her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trevor

I will miss your posts here, and will point at the future double murder/suicide newspaper articles and say "I sort of knew that guy".

Pretty much. Unless you're DEXTER, GET OUT NOW... NO pussy is that good.

Suprmallet · 08-23-09, 03:00 PM

I was certain this was going to be a joke thread, looking at the title.

I agree with everyone else. You're a pawn. Even if this woman has feelings for you, she is not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with you.

pjflyer · 08-23-09, 03:00 PM

[quote=PopcornTreeCt;9663714]

but she thinks I'm crazy.

QUOTE]

So do I.

The Edit King · 08-23-09, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coral

If past cases are any indication, in an altercation with him you will wind up being shot in the face and die. Eventually your father (with the help of a friend of his) will successfully carry out a scheme that will kill your girlfriend's husband.

Your death will be in vain as the Academy will fail to honor your story with a much deserved Oscar.

Nick Danger · 08-23-09, 03:05 PM

Now, after almost twenty posts in a row telling Popcorn Tree Ct to leave the woman, his response post justifying his staying with her in 3...2...1...

awil1026 · 08-23-09, 03:06 PM

We need to lighten up the mood in here!

Pics?

On a serious note, I agree with Dr. Mabuse. Ignore your emotions; it'll be for the best in the long-run.

EdTheRipper · 08-23-09, 03:08 PM

You've got to get the hell out of the situation ASAP. If she wanted help, she would have gotten it. Instead, she dragged you into the mess. Not worth it.

GatorDeb · 08-23-09, 03:09 PM

Abelkems · 08-23-09, 03:10 PM

As a psycho magnet myself, I have been in this situation with more than a few women. The only sane resolution is to run like hell. It will never end in your favor.

PopcornTreeCt · 08-23-09, 03:12 PM

I'm here guys. I wanted to give it some time to get some responses. Thanks for the replies. I do want to help her but I feel like I need to step away.

08-23-09, 02:13 PM	#1
PopcornTreeCt DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 15,207	Rock Band: Smells Like Teen Spirit release date Hi Otters, I've been weighing whether or not to call upon you guys for advice so finally today I'm asking for your help. About 4 months back, I started going out with a co-worker of mine. (Yes, I know, another red flag). She was separated at the time. Her husband had been living in Texas. She said she was going to be divorced. She also has 2 young kids. We went out and I went in with the idea that this was going to be nothing serious and just kinda have some fun. However, we developed some very strong feelings for each other. Without being cliche, I would say we fell in love with each other. We saw each other about 1 or 2 times a week only. She had kids to tend to after work. She never asked me to act the role of the father or anything like that. I had met her kids and they were wonderful. Having no kids of my own, I certainly felt unprepared but I was certainly willing to give it a try. So, yes, I was willing to marry and love this woman who was older than me and with 2 kids. It would've worked out too if not for her husband. Her husband who had been living in Texas at the time, found out that we were seeing each other. So, what he do? Like every other controlling husband he comes back to Florida to take her back. (Her youngest child was born in October of last year, he wasn't there. I suppose he just knocked her up and vanished.) Back on point, so now he comes back and terrorizes her. Another note: he's unemployed and she's working. He watches over the finances like a hawk and berates her for every dollar she spends. He verbally abuses her non-stop anytime they're in the same room. The kids, of course, are witnesses to it. In fact, when she did tell him that she wanted a divorce he got angry and shattered her cell phone and iPod, and ripped the wires out from the PC. About a couple weeks back, I went to Europe. It was an amazing trip. I kept in touch with her through e-mail. On the very end of the trip, I get a call from her where she's just crying and crying. He went all stalker and hacked into her e-mail or installed some kind of snooping program and saw e-mails that we wrote back and forth. In those e-mails, we talked about her leaving him and living together, getting married, living a beautiful life together. Well, that made him even crazier and they had a fight. He kicked her in the stomach and then hit her in the head while she was laying on the ground. She couldn't get up for 10 minutes. She didn't call the police. She said, when she called me hysterically crying, that she didn't want him to not be able to see his children. It infuriated me so much. The day after, I get an e-mail from the asshole saying "this isn't a threat but please stop seeing my wife, i'm trying to get back with my family, etc." of course I just ignored it. The nerve this guy has to send me an e-mail like that after he beats the shit out of her. I kept telling her to move out but she wants to stay in the house, well then I told her to change the locks on the doors. But she says "it's his house too". Basically, I can't win. She's relying on him to move out. Remember how I said he's verbally abusive every moment they're in the same room. Yes, still happening. He doesn't touch her anymore cause she threatened the police. She has a new cell phone because I bought it for her. She's afraid to spend her money because he watches it. She won't move out because she has no money. She won't change the locks because I don't know, she doesn't want to put him out, I guess. Today, I get a call from her this morning that he's coming to pay me a visit. Apparently, he looked me up in the white pages. So, he came and I didn't answer the door. I told her this was it. I feel like she's not doing enough to get rid of him. I told her we should take a break and hopefully soon, she will be divorced and he'll be out of her life. I've tried searching and looking up material on abused wives and help and I e-mailed her a bunch of links. She doesn't have any family around here to go to. She did look up apartments at one time but then she said she couldn't afford them. I told her that her and the kids can stay at my place but she thinks I'm crazy. Thanks for reading. What do you suggest she do? __________________

08-23-09, 02:20 PM	#2
Dr Mabuse DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge... Posts: 8,737	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband Cut all ties with her and forget you ever knew her. __________________ "Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it." - Samuel Johnson "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do." - Bertrand Russell

08-23-09, 02:21 PM	#3
Kicker_of_Elves DVD Talk Ultimate Edition Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: High above the Mucky Muck Posts: 4,342	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband I concur with the Dr's assessment. __________________ Xbox Live: Terroriza "Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?" - Brodie Bruce My Countdown Counting down to: When abrg923 ruins another April Fools Day 128 days 14 hours 51 minutes

08-23-09, 02:30 PM	#5
Trevor DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 12,930	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband I will miss your posts here, and will point at the future double murder/suicide newspaper articles and say "I sort of knew that guy". __________________ current exclusives & comparisons threads - Unwatched film thread - Spending - Challenge Compendium - DVD "upgrades" missing features from original release - DVDTalk Facebook - My Pathetic GamerTag/Score - 31 Day Subset - my horror list My Countdown Counting down to: The 5th Annual DVDTalk Horror Challenge The 5th Annual DVDTalk Horror Challenge is Live

08-23-09, 02:30 PM	#6
mike45 DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Earth Posts: 1,022	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband Bail Now. Before it's too late.

08-23-09, 02:33 PM	#7
clappj DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: North Cacalaca Posts: 6,269	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband You said it yourself, "I can't win." You're screwing around with a married woman, with an abusive husband, who holds his best interest ahead of yours (not to mention hers and their children). Move on, and don't draw this out!

08-23-09, 02:35 PM	#8
DeltaSigChi4 Suspended Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,077	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband who is this actress E

08-23-09, 02:36 PM	#9
zombeaner DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,365	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband As tempting as it is to get involved, if the woman doesn't want help, you can't force it upon her. I do fear for the children, since neither mother nor father have any business looking after them, at least according to your story. __________________ My Movies So Far...

08-23-09, 02:38 PM	#10
Nick Danger DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 10,369	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband She isn't into you. She's using you as a tactic in the game with her husband. If she wanted to leave him, she would have done it. I know someone who packed what would fit into a car and drove 800 miles. It was worth abandoning the rest of her possessions to get away from that man. Leave her. Be prepared for some absolutely heartbreaking emails from her, because she is really good at pushing your buttons. __________________ Not-shopping is not a moral act at this time. --Sally Singer, Vogue Magazine (2/19/09) Last edited by Nick Danger; 08-24-09 at 11:14 AM.

08-23-09, 02:41 PM	#11
The Cow DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Grazing in a field somewhere... Posts: 13,770	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband You are hearing her side of the story. There is always more to what you are hearing. Regardless, you are being used as the crutch. Get out now, this one is obvious.

08-23-09, 02:43 PM	#12
Mrs. Danger DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: May 2005 Location: With Nick Danger Posts: 9,531	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband The one thing you know for certain is that she cheats on her husband. __________________ I could eat a can of Kodak, and puke a better movie than that. http://www.cafepress.com/unseengallery

08-23-09, 02:56 PM	#14
Coral DVD Talk Platinum Edition Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Hamilton, Ontario Posts: 3,129	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband If past cases are any indication, in an altercation with him you will wind up being shot in the face and die. Eventually your father (with the help of a friend of his) will successfully carry out a scheme that will kill your girlfriend's husband. Your death will be in vain as the Academy will fail to honor your story with a much deserved Oscar.

08-23-09, 02:56 PM	#15
movie diva DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,957	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband Run now, if she wanted out she would call the police, get him out of the house, change the locks and make arragments for him to see the kids with supervision. If he knows where you live, take care and watch your back, he may try to hurt you. Good luck. __________________ Be normal and the crowd will accept you... Be deranged and they will make you their leader. Fnord MINE ALL MINE If you get an email from the health department telling you not to eat canned pork you can ignore it. It's just spam.

08-23-09, 03:00 PM	#17
Suprmallet Moderator Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: USS Enterprise Posts: 21,756	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband I was certain this was going to be a joke thread, looking at the title. I agree with everyone else. You're a pawn. Even if this woman has feelings for you, she is not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with you. __________________ Living Dead: So what you're saying is... no one died in the middle of your store when you told them they couldn't have a $10 plasma TV? I find that a little hard to swallow.

08-23-09, 03:00 PM	#18
pjflyer DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,069	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband [quote=PopcornTreeCt;9663714] but she thinks I'm crazy. QUOTE] So do I.

08-23-09, 03:05 PM	#20
Nick Danger DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 10,369	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband Now, after almost twenty posts in a row telling Popcorn Tree Ct to leave the woman, his response post justifying his staying with her in 3...2...1... __________________ Not-shopping is not a moral act at this time. --Sally Singer, Vogue Magazine (2/19/09)

08-23-09, 03:06 PM	#21
awil1026 DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,699	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband We need to lighten up the mood in here! Pics? On a serious note, I agree with Dr. Mabuse. Ignore your emotions; it'll be for the best in the long-run. __________________ Playstation®Network: awil1026 Blu-rays

08-23-09, 03:08 PM	#22
EdTheRipper DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Rhode Island Posts: 5,396	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband You've got to get the hell out of the situation ASAP. If she wanted help, she would have gotten it. Instead, she dragged you into the mess. Not worth it. __________________ The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.

08-23-09, 03:09 PM	#23
GatorDeb DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: The "Real" Vice City Posts: 12,572	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband 21! __________________ XBOX Live Gamertag: GatorDeb07 (zero seven) My XBOX 360 blogs about me "Polo por u, polo por u" - Peggy speaking Spanish from KOTH (Chicken for you, chicken for you)

08-23-09, 03:10 PM	#24
Abelkems DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: NW GA Posts: 2,276	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband As a psycho magnet myself, I have been in this situation with more than a few women. The only sane resolution is to run like hell. It will never end in your favor.

08-23-09, 03:12 PM	#25
PopcornTreeCt DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 15,207	Re: My girlfriend won't leave her abusive husband I'm here guys. I wanted to give it some time to get some responses. Thanks for the replies. I do want to help her but I feel like I need to step away. __________________