Which big stars NEVER APPEARED on TV's "Saturday Night Live?" And why?
10-24-06, 06:12 PM
#28
DVD Talk Legend
Originally Posted by Barings
Weren't the Beatles offered a whole bunch of money and NEVER appeared?
From the April 24, 1976 episode of Saturday Night Live:
Hi. I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of "Saturday Night." Right now, we're being seen by approximately twenty-two million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to just four very special people -- John, Paul, George and Ringo -- the Beatles. Lately, there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together. That would be great. In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. It goes even deeper than that. You're not just a musical group, you're a part of us. We grew up with you. It's for this reason that I'm inviting you to come on our show. Now, we've heard and read a lot about personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you guys from reuniting. That's something which is none of my business. That's a personal problem. You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one as yet has come up with enough money to satisfy you. Well, If it's money you want, there's no problem here. The National Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you this check to be on our show. (holds up check) A certified check for $3,000. Here it is, right here. Dave -- can we get a close-up on this? Which camera? Oh, this one. (camera moves in to show check) Here it is, a check made out to you, the Beatles, for $3,000. All you have to do is sing three Beatle songs.
(singing)
She loves you
Yeah, yeah, yeah ...
That's $1,000 right there. You know the words. It'll be easy. Like I said, this is made out to the Beatles -- you divide it up any way you want. If you want to give Ringo less, it's up to you. I'd rather not get involved. I'm sincere about this. If it helps you to reach a decision to reunite, it's well worth the investment. You have agents. You know where I can be reached. Just think about it, okay? (holds up check again)
Thank you.
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From the May 22, 1976 episode of Sturday Night Live:
(Seated at his desk -- upon which is a large photo of a smiling Richard Nixon -- Lorne Michaels, wearing a green jacket and a yellow-and-red striped tie, addresses the camera.)
Lorne Michaels: Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels, producer of Saturday Night. A short while ago I went on the air and addressed myself to John, Paul, George, and Ringo -- the Beatles. At that time, I invited them to appear on Saturday Night and told them I was authorized by NBC to pay them in the sum of three thousand dollars. That was three thousand dollars for just three songs. Well, a month has gone by. We've heard from the Monkees, Freddy and the-- Freddy and the Dreamers, Herman's Hermits, Peter and Gordon, the Cowsills, and Lulu. But still no word from the Beatles. I'm not discouraged and neither is NBC. Because of the recent acclaim that Saturday Night has received, I was able to convince NBC to ... sweeten the pot. John, Paul, George, and Ringo -- we are now prepared to up the original offer to three thousand, two hundred dollars.
(holds a check up to the camera) Can we get a close-up of this check, please? Which camera is it on? (Of course, there is only one camera and Lorne doesn't even make a pretense of looking for another camera - we slowly zoom in on the check) Ah! As you can see, it's a check for three thousand, two hundred dollars made out to you, The Beatles. Off the record, this increase comes to an extra fifty dollars for each of you. That's if you split it equally -- I'm still not sure what your situation with Ringo is. (zoom out) Furthermore, NBC will also take care of your hotel accommodation. Don Pardo, tell the Beatles what they can expect when they come to get that check for three thousand, two hundred dollars.
Don Pardo: It'll be my pleasure, Lorne. First of all, the lads from Liverpool will be picked up by a radio-dispatched Checker cab (dissolve to a card with a cheaply-drawn cartoon of a cab under an awning that reads: LAGUARDIA AIRPORT) that will whisk them to Cross Town Motor Inn, (the card is pulled away to reveal another with a cheap graphic of a skyline labeled CROSSTOWN MOTOR INN) located in the heart of New York's fashionable garment district. Once there, they will check in (the card is pulled away to reveal another with a cheap drawing of a lobby chair and potted palm) in the recently renovated lobby and then it's off to their rooms via round-the-clock elevator service (new card: a cheap drawing of an elevator's floor indicator - apparently, the Cross Town Motor Inn has nine floors) where they'll be treated like royalty as pitchers of ice water (new card: a cheap cartoon of a uniformed bell hop carrying a tray of ice water) are hand-delivered to their rooms, and they can drink that water from glasses sanitized for their convenience. (new card: cartoon of water glasses filled with ice cubes but covered with plastic wrap) Oops! Ringo spilled a little something on his jacket? No problem -- not with prompt forty-eight-hour dry cleaning service! (new card: cartoon of suits in a dry cleaning bag) "In by Tuesday, out by Thursday!" And let's just put a shine on those shoes, too, (new card: cartoon of a piece of cloth and a pair of shoes) with a free shoe shine cloth. And, Lorne, since the Beatles will be staying in separate rooms, the four Mop Tops can still speak to each other (new card: cartoon of a telephone) as much as they want to because there is no charge for room-to-room calls. And, after a hard day's night, (new card: cartoon of a clock) the Beatles can sleep as late as they like with leisurely checkout time of ten A.M. That's the Cross Town Motor Inn, (new card: the Crosstown Motor Inn's skyline logo) a hotel tradition, hosting New York's visitors since 1971. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Back to you, Lorne.
Lorne Michaels: (dissolve back to Lorne at his desk) Thank you, Don Pardo. John, Paul, George, and Ringo, that's where we stand right now. Three thousand, two hundred dollars and free hotel accommodations. Now, it's your move. I've always respected you. You were always my favorite group and I've always liked Yoko, even at the beginning when things were difficult. I would like to see-- I would like to see you on Saturday Night and so would the American people. You know where I can be reached. I'm waiting for you. Thank you.
Note: In a 1980 Playboy interview John Lennon said that the last time he had seen Paul McCartney they had watched the episode of Saturday Night Live where Lorne Michaels made his $3200 cash offer to get The Beatles to reunite on the show. The two had seriously considered going to the studio to appear on the show for a joke, but were too tired.
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From the November 20, 1976 episode of Sturday Night Live:
(During the show opening with Paul Simon, cut to Lorne Michaels in the halls of Studio 8H talking with musical guest George Harrison)
Lorne Michaels: (to George Harrison) ...I mean, how do you think I feel? I feel terrible about it!
George Harrison: You're saying that now. I've come all this way. It's $3,000, that was the deal!
Lorne Michaels: I understand. But it was just one of those mix-ups. I mean, it's...
Paul Simon: (entering the hall) Hi, George. Hi, Lorne.
Lorne Michaels: We'd better get started, are you about ready?
Paul Simon: Can I just talk to you for a minute? In private?
Lorne Michaels: Sure. (to George) Can you just excuse us for a moment, George? (steps aside with Paul) What is it?
(Some conversation with Paul Simon, then Paul Simon exits hallway)
George Harrison: (continuing with Lorne) Fine, I'll tell you one thing, you ought to get in straigt in the future, you know..?
Lorne Michaels: If you don't go on tonight, it'll break his heart. You see, I thought that you would understand, you know, that it was $3,000 for four people, that it would just be $750 for each of you. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, I mean, you could have the full $3,000. But the network...
George Harrison: It's pretty chintzy...
Lorne Michaels: Well, I'll tell you what. I know there's $250 available for the opening, for the person who says "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night."
George Harrison: (smiles and turns to the camera) "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"
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From the February 13, 1993 episode of Sturday Night Live:
(During host Alec Baldwin's monologue, cut to Lorne Michaels in the hall, talking to musical guest, Paul McCartney)
Lorne Michaels: I just assumed George would have given you the money..
Paul McCartney: No, I-I never even heard from George..
Lorne Michaels: I mean, I can't be responsible for that. I mean, he said that he would take care of the band... (notices Alec enter)
