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Old 07-01-03, 07:52 AM   #1
Tommy_Harn
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Top Ten Ways to spice up Soccer

This might just be the stupidest thing I've ever read. No wonder nobody attached their by-line to take credit for it:

Why not make the ball square while you're at it, moron?
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Old 07-01-03, 07:57 AM   #2
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I hope you realize that it was a joke.
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Old 07-01-03, 08:30 AM   #3
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Old 07-01-03, 08:48 AM   #4
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Yeah, I realize that some of the ideas are all in good humor (especially the reader mail) but the whole point of the article is ridiculous. Obviously soccer is a niche sport in this country and will likely never be a top 4 sport and that's fine. But it seems pointless for articles like this, and for guys like Jim Rome to constantly bash the sport. If you don't enjoy it, fine- don't play, don't watch. But let others make up their own mind.
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Old 07-01-03, 09:17 AM   #5
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I've come to realize that the biggest hurdle soccer has in this country has little to do with the content of the sport itself; rather, it's overcoming this intense hatred so many people seem to have for it. It's like people are offended that some of us enjoy watching it. Sportscasters (I use that term loosely) dedicate a surprisingly large amount of energy berating the sport and its fans like we were all involved in double homicides or something. Great ... you don't like soccer ... la-de-da. Repeatedly whining about not liking it does not count as sports coverage. Some people gain too much satisfaction hating the sport. Why waste the energy? I don't get it.

As for the article, I actually enjoy healthy mockery of soccer and its lack of popularity here, but the article just isn't funny or original. The serious parts are stupid, and the attempts at humor are just plain bad. Is he mocking soccer? Is he mocking Americans and our obsession with instant gratification in sports? Weak either way. The readers' responses were much more creative.

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Old 07-01-03, 09:27 AM   #6
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Uh, marry a Spice girl? No I guess even that didn't work
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Old 07-01-03, 09:28 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tommy_Harn
If you don't enjoy it, fine- don't play, don't watch. But let others make up their own mind.
OMG! If you don't like soccer than just STFU!!!
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Old 07-01-03, 09:30 AM   #8
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I thought we had a rule here. Soccer threads are only allowed in the sports forum once every 4 years.
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Old 07-01-03, 09:32 AM   #9
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Old 07-01-03, 09:34 AM   #10
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• Quoth Red Dog •
I thought we had a rule here. Soccer threads are only allowed in the sports forum once every 4 years.



Can't we have the Women's World Cup too? I mean, she took her shirt off ... that's gotta be worth another rotation.

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Old 07-01-03, 09:43 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by das Monkey
• Quoth Red Dog •
I thought we had a rule here. Soccer threads are only allowed in the sports forum once every 4 years.



Can't we have the Women's World Cup too? I mean, she took her shirt off ... that's gotta be worth another rotation.

das

Yeah to reveal a sports bra. Wow! I still can't get over the hoopla that ensued. It was like people in this country had never been to a gym or the beach.
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Old 07-01-03, 09:46 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Red Dog
I thought we had a rule here. Soccer threads are only allowed in the sports forum once every 4 years.
Which is about as often as somebody makes a goal.
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Old 07-01-03, 09:49 AM   #13
das Monkey
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• Quoth Red Dog •
Yeah to reveal a sports bra. Wow! I still can't get over the hoopla that ensued. It was like people in this country had never been to a gym or the beach.



Never made any sense to me either, but I can't figure out why people don't enjoy the sport in the first place. I figure if it puts asses in seats and doesn't change the game itself, who am I to complain? At least one good thing came from that: the Kevin Garnett SportsCenter commercial.

das
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Old 07-01-03, 09:52 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Groucho
Which is about as often as somebody makes a goal.

Which explains why that Mexican guy gets so excited when somebody scores a goal.
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Old 07-01-03, 09:56 AM   #15
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Old 07-01-03, 12:03 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by das Monkey
Sportscasters (I use that term loosely) dedicate a surprisingly large amount of energy berating the sport and its fans like we were all involved in double homicides or something.

das
It's because they have a great fear that the sport will become more popular and then they'll have to learn something about it.

The deal is, the sport actually is popular in the US, it's just not as popular as some people think it should be. The average attendance for an MLS match is larger than the average attendance for the top divisions in almost every other country. The only difference is that we are such a large country that we can have four team sports that are even more popular.

Personally, I don't care. The MLS sucks and is run by a bunch of idiots. It can wither away and die for all that it means to me. I'll continue to follow the Serie A (Italy) and La Liga (Spain) like I always have.
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Old 07-01-03, 02:21 PM   #17
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I enjoy the World Cup. One thing that has always just made me cringe is tie games being decided by penalty kicks. World tournaments should not end on penalty shots, they should end on the field. Play overtime.

Last edited by mwj; 07-01-03 at 02:23 PM.
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Old 07-01-03, 02:23 PM   #18
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Originally posted by mwj
I enjoy the World Cup. One thing that has always just made cringe is tie games being decided by penalty kicks. World tournaments should not end on penalty shots, they should end on the field. Play overtime.

For sudden death, why don't they continue playing and remove a player from each team every 5 minutes or so until a goal is scored. Would that not be better than penalty kicks?
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Old 07-01-03, 02:27 PM   #19
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That's a good idea and certainly preferable to penalty kicks IMO.
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Old 07-01-03, 02:29 PM   #20
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Re: Top Ten Ways to spice up Soccer

Quote:
Originally posted by Tommy_Harn
This might just be the stupidest thing I've ever read. No wonder nobody attached their by-line to take credit for it:

Why not make the ball square while you're at it, moron?
even though most of it was meant as a joke
this writer accomplished his goal..
he got you to go out and post the story for everyone to read
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Old 07-01-03, 02:29 PM   #21
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They need to let Keira Knightley play. If you don't know who this is, check out the Mature forum.
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Old 07-01-03, 03:29 PM   #22
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Agreed about the MLS, it is difficult to watch many times. But I think it is the main reason the US Nat'l team is experiencing such success (save the Confed. Cup last month).
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Old 07-01-03, 04:18 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tommy_Harn
Agreed about the MLS, it is difficult to watch many times. But I think it is the main reason the US Nat'l team is experiencing such success (save the Confed. Cup last month).
I think it might actually be a hindrance to the national squad. Most of the key players (Reyna, Donovan, Friedel, et. al.) either play or have played in Europe for a significant portion of their careers. To me, the biggest factor in the recent successes of the US, aside from the fact the it was inevitable that we'd start doing something, is Bruce Arena. He's a guy that won't take crap from the stuffed shirts at the USSF, understands what it's like to win, and realizes the importance that minority groups will mean in the future. The 'powers that be' are only interested in the white suburban middle-class demographic, which will lead to nothing in the end.
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Old 07-01-03, 10:08 PM   #24
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I have a great way to improve soccer! Eliminate the goalie.

All the goalie does is stop people from making goals, and that's not fair! In basketball, it's illegal to have some big guy stand in front of the goal and swat everything away; why should soccer allow it? What kind of game would you rather see -- a 1-0 game, or a game that ends 25-19?
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Old 07-02-03, 04:50 AM   #25
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1-0

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