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Religion, Politics and World Events They make great dinner conversation, don't you think? plus Political Film

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Old 07-26-05, 04:31 PM   #1
bryce0lynch
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Fun with Stereotypes

There's no rules against fun in Politics, is there?
ObPolitics: I'm a Democratic gun owner.
===================================

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and
charges.
You are carrying a Glock 40, a! and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does this man look poor! or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway?
What kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! !

I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!! BANG! BANG! Click
.....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click


Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
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Old 07-26-05, 05:50 PM   #2
mikehunt
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well the democrat likely wouldn't have the gun at all
other wise pretty funny
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Old 07-26-05, 06:01 PM   #3
wendersfan
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I'm a Democrat, and the only reason I don't have any firearms is because I don't want to have to tell the government I own them.
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"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-26-05, 06:40 PM   #4
Jazzbutcher
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Republican:
Oh wait...turns out that wasn't a big knife...and you're not a terrorist after all.

Sorry about that dude.
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Old 07-26-05, 06:51 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendersfan
I'm a Democrat, and the only reason I don't have any firearms is because I don't want to have to tell the government I own them.
So registration works as a deterrent for you? But not the criminal.
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Old 07-26-05, 06:52 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tdirgins
Republican:
Oh wait...turns out that wasn't a big knife...and you're not a terrorist after all.

Sorry about that dude.
Your alternative response? Ask to inspect the knife?
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Old 07-26-05, 07:30 PM   #7
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Republican response:

1] There was no shooting.

2] 3 months and photos later. There may have been a shooting or it may have been a suicide attempt.

3] 4 months and photos and witness statements later. We are investigating.

4] 18 months later. We are still investigating, but we have to raise the terror alert colour just to be on the safe side.

5] two years later. There may have been a shooting...not sure...but but but Clinton got a blowjob, so what does it matter? In fact, how can you even be asking about it now...we've moved on...why do you hate America?
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Old 07-26-05, 07:30 PM   #8
mikehunt
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendersfan
I'm a Democrat, and the only reason I don't have any firearms is because I don't want to have to tell the government I own them.
at the risk of hijacking, what state are you in? can probably buy one face to face with no paperwork
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Old 07-26-05, 07:31 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by X
So registration works as a deterrent for you? But not the criminal.
Ironic, isn't it?
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"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 10:18 AM   #10
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What's a Glock 40? By the number of rounds (9) fired by the Southern Republican, I imagine you meant a Glock 27 with the stock magazine. [/not a southern republican, but vote that way]
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Old 07-27-05, 11:10 AM   #11
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Here's my contribution to this thread..


It's a Harman 3470.

This thread isn't much fun
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Old 07-27-05, 11:51 AM   #12
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^
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Old 07-27-05, 12:01 PM   #13
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The McIntosh MC-602

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"Fifth Element may be as dumb and artless as Johnny Mnemonic, but since a frenchman made it it must be ART!" -Pants
"...I think it's a low blow to draw attention to wendersfan's drunken state. " - dork
"Just because their victims are still alive doesn't mean they didn't commit murder." - grundle
"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 12:05 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendersfan
The McIntosh MC-602

Hell, yes.
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Old 07-27-05, 12:08 PM   #15
AGuyNamedMike
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Quote:
Originally Posted by General Zod

This thread isn't much fun

Duurrrr, it's in Politics Talk. The only place with less fun is Book Talk.
[/de rigeur poke at Book Talk]
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Old 07-27-05, 12:30 PM   #16
bhk
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Reminds me of a medical joke.

A family prac, internist, surgeon, and pathologist go duck hunting. The FP hears wings flapping shoots and gets his duck.
The internist hears flapping, says "it most likely is a duck, but given the time, our location, and the loudness of the flapping, it could also be a hawk, or a stork." By that time, the duck has flown away.
The surgeon thinks he hears flapping, shoots, and tells the pathologist :"go and check what that was."
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Old 07-27-05, 12:47 PM   #17
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A chemist, a physicist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island with a case of canned food, and nothing else. They need a way to open the cans or they will starve. The physicist says, "Let's build a catapult to hurl the cans in the air. Once they crash back onto the ground they'll open and we can eat the food."

The chemist says, "No, no. That's a horrible idea. It's too much work, and we'll probably just fling the cans into the ocean anyway. Instead, let's leave the cans out in the hot sun. Internal pressure will build and eventually they'll burst open."

The economist looks at his colleagues, smiles, and tells them he has a much easier plan. They turn around and ask him what his great idea is. He gestures and says, "Assume a can opener..."
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"Fifth Element may be as dumb and artless as Johnny Mnemonic, but since a frenchman made it it must be ART!" -Pants
"...I think it's a low blow to draw attention to wendersfan's drunken state. " - dork
"Just because their victims are still alive doesn't mean they didn't commit murder." - grundle
"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 12:49 PM   #18
Phil L.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gcbrowni
You are carrying a Glock 40,


Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
I don't believe Glock makes a Glock 40. The make several models in .40 caliber however.

And those should be Speer Gold Dots.
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Old 07-27-05, 12:53 PM   #19
bhk
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Three doctors were travelling in South America and the train was taken over by terrorists...er...minutemen. The leader told the doctors that he could let one of them live but they had to justify why they were the one.
The first one stands up and says: "I'm a brain surgeon, I take tumors out of little kids so you should let me live."

The second one says: "I'm a heart surgeon, I save people's lives by fixing their hearts."

The third one gets up and says: "I'm a molecular biologist..." At that point, the other 2 get up and say: "Please kill us now, we don't want to hear it again."
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Old 07-27-05, 12:57 PM   #20
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I can't top that one.
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"Fifth Element may be as dumb and artless as Johnny Mnemonic, but since a frenchman made it it must be ART!" -Pants
"...I think it's a low blow to draw attention to wendersfan's drunken state. " - dork
"Just because their victims are still alive doesn't mean they didn't commit murder." - grundle
"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 12:57 PM   #21
Phil L.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendersfan
I'm a Democrat, and the only reason I don't have any firearms is because I don't want to have to tell the government I own them.
Rules vary from state to state. Where I live handguns do indeed need to be registered, but the only record of you buying a long gun is kept at the shop where it was purchased.

My local shop owner has indicated that should govt. confiscation become an issue, that's when they have a mysterious fire in which all gun purchase records are unfortunately destroyed.

A guy I know that lives in TX is really lucky. His family has several guns that were purchased back when you could walk into a store and buy them for cash with no paperwork involved.
Nobody knows about them.
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Old 07-27-05, 01:06 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil L.
Rules vary from state to state. Where I live handguns do indeed need to be registered, but the only record of you buying a long gun is kept at the shop where it was purchased.

My local shop owner has indicated that should govt. confiscation become an issue, that's when they have a mysterious fire in which all gun purchase records are unfortunately destroyed.

A guy I know that lives in TX is really lucky. His family has several guns that were purchased back when you could walk into a store and buy them for cash with no paperwork involved.
Nobody knows about them.
Thanks. Evidently Ohio is quite lax in their gun laws. I don't know if Columbus has extra restrictions, but they probably do since the city is run by big government Democrats.

What kind of weapon do you think I should get?
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"Fifth Element may be as dumb and artless as Johnny Mnemonic, but since a frenchman made it it must be ART!" -Pants
"...I think it's a low blow to draw attention to wendersfan's drunken state. " - dork
"Just because their victims are still alive doesn't mean they didn't commit murder." - grundle
"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 01:19 PM   #23
Phil L.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wendersfan
Thanks. Evidently Ohio is quite lax in their gun laws. I don't know if Columbus has extra restrictions, but they probably do since the city is run by big government Democrats.

What kind of weapon do you think I should get?
What are you interested in? Handgun? Rifle? Shotgun?
Best route is to go with all three.

Edit: Check packing.org for info on your state.
You should be in good shape if you wish to carry concealed.

http://www.packing.org/state/index.jsp/ohio

Last edited by Phil L.; 07-27-05 at 01:25 PM.
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Old 07-27-05, 01:25 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil L.
What are you interested in? Handgun? Rifle? Shotgun?
Best route is to go with all three.
Probably a handgun for starters.
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"Fifth Element may be as dumb and artless as Johnny Mnemonic, but since a frenchman made it it must be ART!" -Pants
"...I think it's a low blow to draw attention to wendersfan's drunken state. " - dork
"Just because their victims are still alive doesn't mean they didn't commit murder." - grundle
"You concentrate on the sad wanna be hooliganism and let us worry about the actual soccer." - rocketsauce (final score: Columbus 2-Chicago 1)
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Old 07-27-05, 01:32 PM   #25
Phil L.
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I would not hesitate to recommend a Sig P229. It's avalable in 9mm or .40 caliber. I'd go with the .40 as I feel the 9mm is a bit underpowered, plus you can swap out the barrel on the .40 to shot .357 Sig which is the standard round of the U.S. Secret Service.

I'ts a tad heavy for concealed carry but you could worry about that later.

It's a quality and accurate weapon that should serve you well for many years.

Just need to immediately change out the stock grips to Hogue rubber grips and you are god to go.

http://www.sigarms.com/products/clas...?product_id=39

That's if you want a semi-auto. If you want a revolver check out a S&W 686 .357 Magnum. You can shoot .38 special in that too.
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