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Old 12-02-14, 04:02 PM   #76
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
It's really the whole package. If I spoke to my brother about it it would upset him and his wife. They think they're doing a great job. And I've said that from the beginning.
Can't offer much in the way of advice re: kids, but I get the relationship with your brother.

I mean, I don't know what the age difference is or what your respective ages are generally, but sibling relationships vary wildly. You start getting past the 3 year age difference mark and depending on the number of siblings, people's personalities, etc...some times siblings just don't talk about everything. It's normal.

If you have more of an "acquaintance" relationship w/your brother, I doubt the very nature of your relationship is going to change overnight. If your children are not being put in harm's way (your nephew isn't violent or malevolent, just annoying it seems), then I think the course you're taking now of tending to your own kids and gently reprimanding your nephew (even in front of his own parents) when necessary is appropriate.

Sounds like you're conscious of the potential stresses confronting your brother may cause yourself and your family (including parents and whatnot). Stick out the holidays as you've been doing and you never know, maybe the kid turns out alright. He is just 6 after all.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:07 PM   #77
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Shazam View Post
My wife went on a school field trip with my daughter's grade 1 class. During lunch one of the kids left the lunch area early and started wandering around. Her mother was also there and went after her. She came back inside, without her kid, and asked my wife if she could tell her kid to come back in, because her kid "doesn't listen to me".

Astounding really.
My sister in law has done that. She also doesn't know what he likes to eat. When the nephew is coming over it goes like this:

Me: Come and pick him up around 2:30. We're going to have lunch in an hour does he like Mac n Cheese?
Her: I don't know.
Me: I've got chicken will he eat that?
Her: I don't know.
Me: My 3 year old going to have a hard boiled egg will he eat those?
Her: I don't know. Try it.

In her defense, another facet of how this kid is difficult is that he changes his mind and tastes constantly. But I can't help feeling like he does it in order to gain control.

Bottom line, the kid is in charge of the family.

Another recent example (sharing in this thread is very cathartic): It's Christmas (obviously) and we want to get him a gift. We want to get him something he likes. So we ask sister in law what he wants. She says he wants XYZ Widget. So we go out and buy one. A couple days later sister in law calls my wife and says. "Jimmy has made it clear to me that he really wants that XYZ Widget to come FROM SANTA CLAUS. So let me pay you for the XYZ Widget and then could you please buy this, that, or the other thing." And she then gave us a list of other things he wanted.

This is of course fucked up on multiple levels, but the most troublesome to me is that he appears to run the show. He doesn't just want this gift, he is firmly specific that it needs to come from Santa, and mom wants him to have his way so badly she'll do all this gift-swapping and life-complicating shit in order for him to have his way.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:45 PM   #78
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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I don't get the vagueness instead of just saying this to begin with.
She must post here.
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Old 12-02-14, 04:57 PM   #79
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by BambooLounge View Post
Can't offer much in the way of advice re: kids, but I get the relationship with your brother.

I mean, I don't know what the age difference is or what your respective ages are generally, but sibling relationships vary wildly. You start getting past the 3 year age difference mark and depending on the number of siblings, people's personalities, etc...some times siblings just don't talk about everything. It's normal.
My sister tells me too much.

Her: "I like anal sex!"

Me: "I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!"
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Old 12-02-14, 05:11 PM   #80
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Shazam View Post
My sister tells me too much.

Her: "I like anal sex!"

Me: "I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!"
Expect a lot of PM's shortly.
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Old 12-02-14, 06:40 PM   #81
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Shazam View Post
My sister tells me too much.

Her: "I like anal sex!"

Me: "I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!"
I would need to see a pic first.
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Old 12-02-14, 06:41 PM   #82
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Bottom line, the kid is in charge of the family.
This is why a smack in the mouth would do the boy some good.
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Old 12-02-14, 07:13 PM   #83
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
I would need to see a pic first.
My sister looks like the Korean singer Hyuna.
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Old 12-02-14, 07:31 PM   #84
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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My sister looks like the Korean singer Hyuna.
Oh wow. PM sent.

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Old 12-02-14, 08:24 PM   #85
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

Sounds like this kid is going to grow up and bring his pet pig on a plane.
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Old 12-02-14, 08:29 PM   #86
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

Serious answer, forget your brother and SiL, if they aren't handling things, you discipline the kid. He's family. You and your brother, presumably, grew up with the same values so it's hard to imagine him being so different as a parent. His wife might get her panties in a bunch, but it might open her eyes to her lack of parenting if someone else has to do it for her.

I correct my nieces from time to time, and my brother corrects my kids as needed. It's really not that hard to do. I think some people forget that kids aren't mini adults.
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Old 12-03-14, 12:42 AM   #87
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

No comment. I'm very glad I'll never have children.
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Old 12-03-14, 03:24 AM   #88
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by 4KRG View Post
I can tell you that the majority of parents I know (and it is a lot) do not ever feel their kids are a problem or ever do anything wrong. Their little 'jonny' is an angel and is perfect and never does anything wrong.
Then you need to know better people. Get a new social circle ASAP.

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Originally Posted by Rob V View Post
^^ My son is six too.. and he's learned that there are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors -- that coaching needs to come from the parents. My son waivers from time to time but 90% of the time I can trust he's behaving and acting appropriate.
A 1000 times this!
"Boys will be boys" is such a cop out! Even 6 year old boys can learn to behave. Yeah it takes hard work, very hard, but that's the way it is when you have kids.

We need to instate a license for having kids.
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Old 12-03-14, 09:54 AM   #89
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Old 12-03-14, 03:23 PM   #90
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
TLDR version: My 6 year old nephew is a bad playmate with my 6 year old daughter and is rude to adults. How do I deal?
Try to get parents on board, if that doesn't work. Host family events at your house, your rules.?

If that doesn't work, then be honest with your brother about the situation and lay it all out on the line.
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Old 12-03-14, 03:25 PM   #91
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

From my experience, the appropriate way to deal with him is to put him in a box and shove it in the corner of your house.
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Old 12-03-14, 03:29 PM   #92
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Michael Corvin View Post
Serious answer, forget your brother and SiL, if they aren't handling things, you discipline the kid. He's family. You and your brother, presumably, grew up with the same values so it's hard to imagine him being so different as a parent. His wife might get her panties in a bunch, but it might open her eyes to her lack of parenting if someone else has to do it for her.

I correct my nieces from time to time, and my brother corrects my kids as needed. It's really not that hard to do. I think some people forget that kids aren't mini adults.
Pretty much all of this, Adults in the family can discipline any of the kids in our family if they are being unruly etc, if the parent doesn't notice what was going on.
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Old 04-05-15, 10:07 PM   #93
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

Nephew hits my daughter with pencil.
Daughter: That hurt.
Nephew: That's because you're a girl.
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Old 04-05-15, 10:31 PM   #94
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Originally Posted by Mabuse View Post
Nephew hits my daughter with pencil.
Daughter: That hurt.
Nephew: That's because you're a girl.
Did you do anything about it?
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Old 04-05-15, 10:35 PM   #95
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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Did you do anything about it?
No. We are with them for the next five days. Spring break. I'll be updating.
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Old 04-05-15, 10:44 PM   #96
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

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No. We are with them for the next five days. Spring break. I'll be updating.
Guess we should all make some popcorn.
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Old 04-05-15, 10:52 PM   #97
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

I was never around kids and always knew I wanted kids, at the same time, I knew I hated them. I believe and hope I can stand my own.

Now I have a fiancÚ with 2 nephews and a little bro (3 - 7) and than her bro's wife's family of kids and my god....theyre awful. I feel youre pain dude and see this shit all the time now. Ive had to deal with the 3 year old throwing ANYTHING he gets his hands on, the 6 year old yelling non stop and than when they fight they scream like they're getting raped and murdered at the same time. The parents try to discipline but its a joke (go to sleep, youre taking a nap!) and they yell back (no!). One time my fiancÚ went over about 1 am to drop off her sister and the 3 year old was wondering around the house eating a bag of chips. Alone. He was glad to see them get there because he cried for the TV to be turned on..... I was off for Christmas (usually I work holidays) and witnessed this. Again today with Easter. I have to request to work holidays. Ugghhhhh
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Old 04-06-15, 07:50 AM   #98
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

It starts and ends w your bro/SIL. The lack of discipline is more than "just being a 6yo". Talking back...no Bueno. Kids learn from a very early age where they can push boundaries. It is disrespectful to inflict your kids on others, though many ppl don't care.c
When I was growing up a number of my cousins trashed our basement and that was that. The grownups were shown the damage and told it was not acceptable in our household and as adults they were responsible for their kids. The family was barred from our house for ~2yrs. We had "the fun house" (e.g. most space, video games, etv), so there were many complaints from everyone, mostly from my aunts/uncles bc they would just show up and mooch food/booze/free babysitting.

For the interim time my father and mother became much more vocal when my cousins did anything to/around them. A funny thing happened...the cousins got in line...at least around my parents. My parents were "firm but fair" and all of my cousins learned to respect them...unlike their own parents.

When my cousins/family were finally allowed back over it was for an afternoon and all of the kids were brought together and told the rules and expectations. If they were broken, they'd be asked to leave. The parents were told this ahead of time. Surprise surprise...things went okay. Still some yelling, but nothing broken and when told to behave the kids did. Too bad the parents didn't learn, as elsewhere my cousins (not all, but the worst ones) were just as bad. It was not surprising that a couple of the worst went to jail/rehab before getting their shit together and another couple needed a kick or two in the butt via the US Military to straighten themselves out. Their parents were ZERO help w. any of it, but they didn't bother earlier in life either.

edited to clarify.

Last edited by NotThatGuy; 04-07-15 at 09:34 PM.
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Old 04-06-15, 10:31 AM   #99
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

The smack in the mouth still does wonders. They'll be in line in no time.
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Old 04-06-15, 10:47 AM   #100
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Re: How do I deal with bad behavior from my Nephew?

It's like this kid is from Oregon or something.
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