YADT: How does one increase dating frequency?

[Vipper II]

So, I've been out with this girl 3 times so far and we have excellent chemistry, great conversation, and we apparently really enjoy each other's company. Up until now we've done one date per week; however, in order to decide whether I ultimately want to pee in her butt, I'd kind of like to kick it up a notch. With that stated, how does one go about attempting to increase the dating frequency without coming off as clingy/high-maintenance? I figured it's best to simply keep it casual, like perhaps suggesting that we meet for drinks sometime during the week, but my confidence isn't currently at its highest and I don't want to kill the whole thing by saying something stoopid. Am I on the right track? Should I just suck it up and trust my instincts? Is peeing in someone's butt worth the effort?

[TallGuyMe]

take it easy big boy. by my math you've only known her three weeks.

[Mrs. Danger]

Go out more.

[DirkUSA]

Originally Posted by TallGuyMe

take it easy big boy. by my math you've only known her three weeks.

You might be on to something there.......

[TomOpus]

Originally Posted by Vipper II

So, I've been out with this girl 3 times so far and we have excellent chemistry, great conversation, and we apparently really enjoy each other's company. Up until now we've done one date per week;

Great, sounds good so far...

Originally Posted by Vipper II

however

Uh oh....

Originally Posted by Vipper II

I'd kind of like to kick it up a notch.

Why fuck up something that is going so well? What would YOU think if she wanted to see you more often... like every other day? Yeah, you'd think she's desperate, clingy and wants to get married really fast. You'd be out of there so fast.

This is not a race. Enjoy the time you spend with her and don't be in such a hurry.

[bunkaroo]

So three dates....have you consummated the acquaintance yet?

If so, you're probably close to being able to see her more than once a week. If not, well, take care of that, then work on seeing her more than once a week.

[mhg83]

Don't listen to these fools op. First date i went on with my ex-gf i met her mom. second date we changed our FB status, and by the third we were in serious discussions about marriage, kids. It all worked out fine.

[Vipper II]

Originally Posted by TomOpus

Why fuck up something that is going so well? What would YOU think if she wanted to see you more often... like every other day? Yeah, you'd think she's desperate, clingy and wants to get married really fast. You'd be out of there so fast.

I'm not talking about an every other day type of thing, though, but rather a second, more "casual" meeting mid-week. We talk on the phone at least once a week and exchange a couple of emails, so what's wrong with replacing that with getting together for drinks for an hour or two, especially since it's so obvious we like hanging out with each other? I know it's still way too soon for something more intense.

The whole "pee in the butt" thing was just something I added as I knew some wise ass would bring it up at some point .

[TomOpus]

I would wait and see how it goes before you up the ante. Once a week might be perfect for her. She might work hard during the week and might not have the time or inclination to want to go out after work. My fiancee and I dated around once a month or so. Of course she lived halfway across the country but we made it work because we wanted to.

At this point I think quality over quantity is the key.

[NORML54601]

Originally Posted by Vipper II

I'm not talking about an every other day type of thing, though, but rather a second, more "casual" meeting mid-week. We talk on the phone at least once a week and exchange a couple of emails, so what's wrong with replacing that with getting together for drinks for an hour or two, especially since it's so obvious we like hanging out with each other? I know it's still way too soon for something more intense.

The whole "pee in the butt" thing was just something I added as I knew some wise ass would make a comment about it .

You don't actually want to pee in her butt? I'm afraid we're going to have to ax you to leave.

[Vipper II]

Originally Posted by TomOpus

At this point I think quality over quantity is the key.

Very good point. I think my biggest concern is that I'm not the only one in the fold, and that she'll end up going for this other person (provided there even is one) over me if I don't get farther into it a little sooner. Concerns of that nature are a big part of dating, true, but it's been quite a while since I've connected with someone this well so it's difficult to exercise the patience, and I have reduced patience to begin with.

[Goat3001]

I see nothing wrong with asking her out mid week, but wait another date. She might want to see you more too, but wants you to pull the trigger on that. After your 4th date, casually ask her in an email if she wants to grab drinks after work mid week. Not a full blown date, just a mini date. Then you can make a play for another date during the weekend.

[Shannon Nutt]

Kidnapping is always an option.

[Vipper II]

Originally Posted by Shannon Nutt

Kidnapping is always an option.

I had considered that, but I don't have enough rope to tie her down in my cavernous trunk, and I wouldn't want her to roll around and potentially injure herself.

[RoadToPerdition]

One of my friends (a female) went out on a few dates with her boyfriend and it really went well, so he asked her if she would stop seeing any other guys if she was at that time (basically, be exclusive) and she did (if she was). She's a normal girl that most guys find very attractive, so if she wasn't weirded out by that and thought the question was okay, maybe you should propose the same to this girl if you are concerned she's with other guys?

[The Bus]

I've only dated people were that issue/question didn't even come up. But I don't know how it is today with plentyofbabelfish and whatever else happens on the interbrains.

[Nick Danger]

Originally Posted by TallGuyMe

take it easy big boy. by my math you've only known her three weeks.

By my math it's been two weeks.

A date on March 1, March 8, and March 15. Two weeks.

[FantasticVSDoom]

Im hoping at least 3rd date 3rd base, preferably home run... If not, step up to the plate already. And yeah if you want to see her more, just ask.

[Pharoh]

Granted it's been a very long time since I had a date, but am I missing something here? Don't you just tell her that you enjoy spending time with her and want to see her a little more often? In what world does that not work?

[Abelkems]

Originally Posted by The Bus

I've only dated people were that issue/question didn't even come up.

This is pretty much my experience too. When the chemistry was there, she turns into a stray cat and just starts showing up at the doorstep all the time. With my current wife, the change came when I invited her over for dinner and cooked her a nice meal. We haven't been one day without seeing each other since.

[DVD Polizei]

Originally Posted by Vipper II

So, I've been out with this girl 3 times so far and we have excellent chemistry, great conversation, and we apparently really enjoy each other's company.

1) Are you sure she is aware this is a dating thing.

2) If she enjoys your company...she'll be wanting to do things with you more and will be communicating this with you.

3) When #2 happens, you won't even need to kick things up a notch.

So, make sure you're on the same level as she is.

[Rockmjd23]

Like others have said, when a girl really wants to pursue something with a guy, they will be the one initiating plans. She's probably still in the 'not sure yet' stage.

[cardsfan111]

Originally Posted by Shannon Nutt

Kidnapping is always an option.

Obviously, it would be wise to first hire someone else to attempt a kidnapping to see how she might respond to it.

[Sonic]

Wear snug Chino pants on your next date showing some "unaware buldge".

j/k

I agree with Rockmjd23

[OscarBluth]

Ditch this girl and find someone who wants what you want.