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Old 07-03-11, 10:34 AM   #51
LurkerDan
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by DarkestPhoenix View Post
I always give $101. No real significance to it, but people always remember your monetary contribution since it's different than everyone else's. And let's be honest: Nothing is more important than you being remembered on their special day. What with the mass of faces and all.
You play your role well.
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Old 07-03-11, 10:37 AM   #52
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

Even at one of the biggest events in a person's life....DP wants to be the center of attention. At least he's consistent.
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Old 07-03-11, 10:37 AM   #53
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by al_bundy View Post
I've never been to a wedding where the bride doesn't walk around with a bag to collect envelopes filled with cash
I've never been to a wedding where that happened. Ever.
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Old 07-03-11, 10:38 AM   #54
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
Nope and thanks! Did it June 17th 2011
And the forum's invite got lost in the mail, right?

Congrats man!
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Old 07-03-11, 10:40 AM   #55
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

And most of my friends registered, but also registered with something like "honeyfund", which is a way for people to give you money as a gift, presumably to pay for stuff on your honeymoon. Can't recall a wedding that did the cash envelope. One wedding had a money tree, where you pinned money to the tree.
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Old 07-03-11, 02:34 PM   #56
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by LurkerDan View Post
And the forum's invite got lost in the mail, right?

Congrats man!
Thanks!
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Old 07-03-11, 05:01 PM   #57
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by Giantrobo View Post
Nope and thanks! Did it June 17th 2011
Well you can keep a secret, good luck to you and the new mrs robo, wish you nothing but joy.
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Old 07-03-11, 11:37 PM   #58
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Well you can keep a secret, good luck to you and the new mrs robo, wish you nothing but joy.
Thanks!
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Old 07-04-11, 12:38 AM   #59
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

I would say $100 would be the minimum unless it's a small wedding (ie held in someone's backyard or at a VFW hall).
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Old 07-05-11, 08:15 AM   #60
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by kuroiinu View Post
Nothing for the groom?
Both are useful for the amateur griller.
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Old 07-05-11, 10:15 AM   #61
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Thanks!
So when do we get to see pics of Mrs. GR?
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Old 07-05-11, 10:38 AM   #62
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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$100 per person minimum unless it's a close friend / family, in which case add more.

Money goes with a card in an envelope and put into the gift box - not passed around the table (???).
What does the "per person" thing have to do with it? We go to weddings as a couple and give gifts as a couple. $100 is fine for casual acquaintances.
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Old 07-05-11, 10:51 AM   #63
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

the rule is the gift is the approximate value of the the party divided per person. the father pays the cost of the party, the guests pay their way by giving the money to the couple to help them start life together

the physical gifts are valuable as well since you save them and give them to people you don't like
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Old 07-05-11, 01:15 PM   #64
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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What does the "per person" thing have to do with it? We go to weddings as a couple and give gifts as a couple. $100 is fine for casual acquaintances.
If I go with my wife, it's $200 from both of us. That's been the standard at all the weddings I've been to.

Of course, others go less, but they end up looking like cheapskates unless there's a valid reason (student, bad financial situation, etc).
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Old 07-05-11, 02:12 PM   #65
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

OK, $200. But breaking it down per person and somehow tying it to the cost of the event? I've never heard it that way. It makes the whole affair seem even more crass.

We go. We give a gift to the couple ostensibly to give them a head start.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:24 PM   #66
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

I'm glad I live in rural WI...$50 is a decently generous gift for weddings around here, unless it's a real close friend/relative. But the reception dinner/alcohol is obviously much less expensive here as well.

What about destination weddings - I'm already spending $1500 to go to the wedding and be there for them, I'd think less with the card/envelope would be appropriate here?

I've never thought much of people expecting to get a wad of cash from everybody that shows up, and being insulted if somebody doesn't give them a "proper" amount. Especially in cases where they invite every casual acquaintance they've every had.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:29 PM   #67
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by CRM114 View Post
OK, $200. But breaking it down per person and somehow tying it to the cost of the event? I've never heard it that way. It makes the whole affair seem even more crass.

We go. We give a gift to the couple ostensibly to give them a head start.
it's also crass if the father of the bride spends $100 a head on food, alcohol and entertainment and you give $50 for 2 people

it's kind of like insurance. you pay a little at a time and cash out when it's your turn. it's a way for everyone to have a nice wedding with the expectation that everyone pays up when it's their turn

with some people's logic you shouldn't buy a birthday gift for your kids' friends when they go to a party. the people throwing the party should be glad you showed up to eat their cake and make a mess of their home
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Old 07-05-11, 02:30 PM   #68
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

My wife and I took off and got married in Vegas. We didn't need anyone's stinkin' generosity.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:31 PM   #69
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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it's also crass if the father of the bride spends $100 a head on food, alcohol and entertainment and you give $50 for 2 people

it's kind of like insurance. you pay a little at a time and cash out when it's your turn. it's a way for everyone to have a nice wedding with the expectation that everyone pays up when it's their turn
That is a truly demented way of looking at it. I could give a rat's ass that the father threw the party. It's not about him.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:31 PM   #70
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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it's also crass if the father of the bride spends $100 a head on food, alcohol and entertainment and you give $50 for 2 people
I had no idea that when I throw a party, it's the obligation of my guests to pay me back. Next time, I'll just install a till at the door.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:32 PM   #71
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

i had 200 or so people and some nice food i didn't eat because no time. i had to dance with my wife and socialize
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Old 07-05-11, 02:34 PM   #72
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by Groucho View Post
I had no idea that when I throw a party, it's the obligation of my guests to pay me back. Next time, I'll just install a till at the door.

i was planning to have this for my next marriage. i was going to get one of those machines you see at cell phone stores to pay your bill in cash and have it spit out entrance tickets. you don't pay, you don't go into the wedding
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Old 07-05-11, 02:34 PM   #73
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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i had to dance with my wife and socialize
Sounds horrific. I just paypaled you $200 bucks.
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Old 07-05-11, 02:40 PM   #74
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

my next wedding gift is going to be x-box points or farmville cash
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Old 07-05-11, 03:32 PM   #75
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Re: YAWT: How much do you put in the wedding envelope?

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Originally Posted by al_bundy View Post
the rule is the gift is the approximate value of the the party divided per person. the father pays the cost of the party, the guests pay their way by giving the money to the couple to help them start life together
What the hell year are you referring to? Most couples starting out now are double-income, no-kids couples. Unless they are complete morons with their income they'll be fine without a cover charge at the wedding.

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Originally Posted by dsa_shea View Post
I thought that we were supposed to go to weddings to share in the joyous occasion with family or friends and not be expected to help pay for it.
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger View Post
We invited people to our wedding because we wanted them to be there, not so they could pay for it!
Mrs. D and shea have it right. I'm throwing the biggest party of my life and want to spend it with friends. Come to the wedding enjoy the food, dance, and have a good time. I'm not expecting a dime in return.


Oh and to the money dance, it's tacky as hell.
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