Release List Reviews Shop Join News DVD Giveaways Video Games Advertise
DVD Reviews | Theatrical Reviews | Adult DVD Reviews | Video Game Reviews | Price Search Buy Stuff Here
DVD Talk
DVD Reviews DVD Talk Headlines HD Reviews


Add to My Yahoo! - RSS 2.0 - RSS 2.0 - DVD Talk Podcast RSS -


Go Back   DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-16-11, 11:42 PM   #1
Time Warrior
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 178
Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

I suppose this is as good a place as any for relationship advice and I hope you guys can help.

Firstly, some background information on me. I am aged 38, have a good career, multiple qualifications, no debts, sit on a corporate board, etc. I am a little overweight (not morbidly but could afford to lose a few kilograms.) I do not have a criminal record, don't touch drugs, alcohol or cigarettes and lead a pretty clean life. I contribute to my community, do volunteer work and strive to be a decent person.

I have never been blessed with a girlfriend however and have lead a fairly lonely existence. This at least partly arises from being an ugly son-of-a-bitch and also having the kind of geeky hobbies that seem to work like mace on women - science fiction literature, horror films, that kind of thing.

Recognising my plight, a few work colleagues have suggested (I think with genuine good will) setting me up with a woman who owns a local restaurant. For the sake of discussion I shall call her Angelina. Now I have met Angelina briefly at a social engagement about a year ago and the following are her most evident defining qualities;

1) No teeth - well, she has one, located pretty much dead centre in her upper jaw, but I think she would be better off having it out and purchasing some dentures.

2) Fat - she is, to put it mildly, a plus sized woman.

3) Ugly - lots of moles on her face and a head that has the general appearance of a squashed pumpkin.

4) Clingy - the stories I have been told about her failed marriage are legendary in their epicness. She apparently was utterly convinced her husband was having an affair and stalked him mercilessly; ringing him constantly at his place of work, following him, reading his texts and emails, putting flirty messages on his Facebook page and then seeing if he responded et al. Eventually the poor guy could not take it any more and left her.

5) NO TEETH!!


Now I concede that I am not a great catch but I do have a head full of teeth, can go out in public without being stared at and can hold my head up.

However, in thinking about the possibilities with this woman over the last few days I have spilt more sack-juice than would seem possible. I AM lonely, I DO need sex, but even a loser like me should have some standards.

So, some advice please - should I go for it? Do the possibilities outweigh the potential demerits? All advice welcome.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-11, 11:45 PM   #2
kvrdave
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 81,674
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

You seem to be focusing on the negatives of no teeth. The only real negative is that she might expect you to reciprocate.
__________________
Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baronís cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. - C.S. Lewis
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-11, 11:50 PM   #3
takingchase
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 835
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Joke topic?

You shouldn't be worried what others think when you go out in public but if you aren't attracted to her then that shit's just not going to work.

And ugly dudes can pull the ladies too, I've never considered myself to be that great looking and I have seriously nerdy hobbies but I've never had a problem getting girlfriends. It's all about confidence man, if you think you're only good enough to settle for something you don't want then obviously that's all you're going to get.

If you really need sex go to a bar, seriously it's not as hard as you think.

Also I find it funny that you state you try to be a decent person and yet you're only reasoning for getting with this woman that you obviously aren't into is to get laid. Better check your morals since they seem to be conflicting right now.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-11, 11:56 PM   #4
The Bus
DVD Talk Godfather
 
The Bus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 52,564
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Start lifting weights and exercising. In no time, you'll be a 4 (or a 5!).
__________________
Movies: 2002 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 2014

PSN: Chiwotweiler
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:04 AM   #5
SkullOrchard
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: West Central Georgia
Posts: 3,099
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Even though I'm an atheist, I thank God every day that I'm extremely handsome and have a huge cock. I don't mean to brag, but hot looking chicks dig the shit out of me. I hope that knowing this makes you feel better.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:08 AM   #6
anomynous
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: STL
Posts: 2,961
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Obvious troll topic.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:25 AM   #7
Anubis2005X
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,452
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Ugliness is no excuse. Clint Howard gets women. Think about that. Clint Howard...
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:29 AM   #8
Time Warrior
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 178
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SkullOrchard View Post
Even though I'm an atheist, I thank God every day that I'm extremely handsome and have a huge cock. I don't mean to brag, but hot looking chicks dig the shit out of me. I hope that knowing this makes you feel better.
Thankfully, cock size is not an issue for me as it is reasonably large - just not porn-star large!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:37 AM   #9
JumpCutz
DVD Talk Legend
 
JumpCutz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: south of heaven
Posts: 13,236
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Pics?
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:43 AM   #10
Supermallet
Time Lord
 
Supermallet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Termite Terrace
Posts: 46,574
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

What is this I don't even
__________________
"You already knew this, Mallet, but you're obviously a better man than I (expect this to be quoted in a sig). " -creekdipper
Watch me squawk on Twitter: @Supermallet
Check out my vinyl collection!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:46 AM   #11
JMG
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Folsom,California
Posts: 495
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

[quote=Time Warrior;10820374]I suppose this is as good a place as any for relationship advice and I hope you guys can help.

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 12:55 AM   #12
MoviePage
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 7,747
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

If this is for real, then yes you should pursue her and post frequent updates here.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 02:50 AM   #13
grundle
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
grundle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 9,843
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

No. Don't do it.

I'm a 40 year old male with Asperger's. I have cystic acne that is so severe than even though I've taken four courses of Accutane, I still have a lot cysts. I've had some cysts removed by surgery, but they usually grow back, although usually smaller than the original. I have never had a girlfriend. I am a virgin.

I would rather be a virgin for my entire life than to have sex with someone that I was not attracted to. And I don't just mean a physical attraction. I would also have to have an intellectual attraction to her. Your description of this woman did not include anything suggesting that she has any kind of intellectual curiosity. She seems to have no interest in anything that requires intelligence. A person of your intelligence could never be happy with such a woman.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 05:16 AM   #14
Mankal
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Mankal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Obama World, USA
Posts: 1,677
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

No teeth= Awesome Blow
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 05:38 AM   #15
crazyronin
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Working for Gizmonic Institute
Posts: 10,277
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Is she also only 3 1/2 feet high and the top of her head flat?

/because you need someplace to set your beer
__________________
JasonF said it "crazyronin understands scripture better than all those Popes"
the mods around here are morons-wendersfan
PSN and Origin: boomanchu2
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 06:21 AM   #16
Bandoman
DVD Talk Hero
 
Bandoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: a small cottage on a cul de sac in the lower pits of hell.
Posts: 28,679
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

I also have trouble getting dates because women are afraid of my enormous genitals.
__________________
"...Bando...you are perfect and awesome." - 4KRG

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 06:38 AM   #17
Abelkems
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Abelkems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NW GA
Posts: 2,785
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

No teeth would be a deal-breaker for me. That's one thing I'm obsessive about.

Why settle? Just keep putting yourself out there until you find someone you are attracted to and click with. I'm not the greatest catch either, but I pulled a young, attractive wife who is a bigger nerd than I am. And I met her on Facebook.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 06:39 AM   #18
Perkinsun Dzees
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Perkinsun Dzees's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 2,187
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 06:50 AM   #19
kstublen
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
kstublen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,378
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anubis2005X View Post
Ugliness is no excuse. Clint Howard gets women. Think about that. Clint Howard...
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 06:58 AM   #20
Jaymole
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Jaymole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: N.Y, N.Y
Posts: 6,733
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Even with one tooth I say date her...at least you will always have her handy just in case you don't have a can opener nearby.
__________________
Feast Your Eyes, Glut Your Soul on My Accursed Ugliness!
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 07:16 AM   #21
Sonny Corinthos
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Sonny Corinthos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Port Charles, NY.
Posts: 2,606
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Sounds like a winner to me! I say go for it! Quit letting your sack-juice go to waste. Squirt it all over her tooth and make it shiny and new again.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 07:50 AM   #22
DirkUSA
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
DirkUSA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NY
Posts: 3,363
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mankal View Post
No teeth= Awesome Blow
1 tooth right in the middle = extreme blood loss and pain
__________________
Sean O'Hara: There's no such thing as a "liquid fart." You shit your pants.

Th0r S1mpson: On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you do not have a Chinese wife?

Deadman31: how does Inuit oral history compare with Inuit anal history? Sean O'Hara: Seal blubber is a horrible lubricant. Let's just leave it at that.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 07:52 AM   #23
adrenaline78
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
adrenaline78's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Janesville, WI
Posts: 2,956
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Sounds like a winner to me!
__________________
PSN Network ID- al_adrenaline
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 08:04 AM   #24
big whoppa
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Under Golden Gate Bridge
Posts: 10,912
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Time Warrior View Post

However, in thinking about the possibilities with this woman over the last few days I have spilt more sack-juice than would seem possible.
Wha? You jacked off to the thought of her??

You don't mention much about her personality except that she is clingy which isn't good.

Everyone gets lonely even good-looking people. Yeah, guys, say what you will but one-nighters can still leave you lonely and empty too.

Have you tried online dating? If not, it's worth a try. Check out match.com, plentyoffish.com, eharmony.com.

You're probably not the ugliest crayon in the box and perhaps you have some traits girls might be attracted to beyond looks: a sense of humor, romantic, a gentlemen, wealth, etc. If it that fails, you can always fall back on your big dick.
__________________
"I Choked Linda Lovelace" - on Joe Dirt's T-Shirt
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-11, 08:05 AM   #25
crankyman
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: chokin' you out in less than 30 seconds
Posts: 10,634
Re: Potential Girlfriend - Fat, No Teeth, Clingy - Should I Pursue?

have you tried hanging out in train stations?
__________________
always check my sig for evidence of how bad ass i am.
  Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:02 AM.

Rules - DVD Talk - Archive - Privacy Statement - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.2.0
Copyright 2011 DVDTalk.com All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.