Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.)

PopcornBandit · 11-05-09, 06:06 PM

Ok, first off, the story. There is this girl I like at work. I talk to her every day, always joking around and flirting. In fact, she has never seen my serious side (I don't really have much of one anyway). And I get, what I perceive as flirting in return. Anyway, today I decided to ask her to dinner. Here is how the conversation went down:

Me: I was wondering if, uh, maybe one day that you aren't busy, if uh, you'll let me take you to dinner? (Yes, all of my "uh's" were in the convo)

Her: *smilling* Are you serious? (keep in mind I was never serious around her until now)

Me: Uh, yeah, completely serious.

Her: Oh, well maybe. But you know, I've been crazy busy lately so I'm not sure when I would have the chance to go.

Me: So it's a maybe?

Her: Yup, a maybe.

Me: Well, you'll let me know when you're free? (I then proceed to do the "you, me" bit from Night at the Roxbury. Lame, I know.)

Anyway, my question is, do you guys think it was an actual maybe? Or a maybe disguised as a no because she is a very nice person and doesn't want to hurt my feelings?

I know, I know. Not a very interesting story, but I would love to get Otter's thoughts on the situation.

Liver&Onions · 11-05-09, 06:07 PM

the latter. Sorry dude.

PopcornBandit · 11-05-09, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liver&Onions

the latter. Sorry dude.

Yeah, I'm not too worried about it. That's what I figured anyway. Just wanted to get some outside opinions.

TheNightFlier · 11-05-09, 06:09 PM

[obligatory]Buy her a laptop.[/obligatory]

In all seriousness, she doesn't seem that interested. Never hurts to ask though.

PopcornBandit · 11-05-09, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheNightFlier

[obligatory]Buy her a laptop.[/obligatory]

In all seriousness, she doesn't seem that interested. Never hurts to ask though.

It's just odd because all of the signs pointed to her being interested.

mhg83 · 11-05-09, 06:14 PM

Quote:

I've been crazy busy lately so I'm not sure when I would have the chance to go.

That's not a good sign. If this chick digs you she'd find time to go out with you.

Liver&Onions · 11-05-09, 06:15 PM

Chicks, man.

Minor Threat · 11-05-09, 06:16 PM

It could be a maybe, then again, maybe it's not a maybe.....

Groucho · 11-05-09, 06:20 PM

That was a "No."

RyoHazuki · 11-05-09, 06:26 PM

At least she was nice about it. Sorry man.

OscarBluth · 11-05-09, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PopcornBandit

Anyway, my question is, do you guys think it was an actual maybe?

Even if it's the most serious actual maybe in the history of actual maybes, it's still a maybe. If she wanted to go, she would have said yes. She did not. It's a yes or no question, even if you have to figure out the actual day later on. I can't believe you repeated her maybe in the form of a question, though. If you don't get a yes, retreat. Alone you shall eat.

Whatever you do, don't bring it up again. Ever. Don't even mention it as a possible joke. Keep your conversations strictly professional. If she changes her mind, she will tell you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PopcornBandit

It's just odd because all of the signs pointed to her being interested.

Except her response to a direct question about being interested.

TimeandTide · 11-05-09, 06:30 PM

That sounded like a scene out of Swingers.

Next time you attempt this (different girl, I hope), drop the act (Night at the Roxbury? Really?), and just ask straight out, "You want to get a drink or coffee after work tomorrow?" The whole exchange should have lasted about five seconds, tops.

How long ago did you ask? Has the dynamic between the two of you changed?

TimeandTide · 11-05-09, 06:32 PM

Oh, and THIS:

Quote:

Originally Posted by OscarBluth

Whatever you do, don't bring it up again. Ever. Don't even mention it as a possible joke. Keep your conversations strictly professional. If she changes her mind, she will tell you.

Nugent · 11-05-09, 06:41 PM

This sort of made me cringe.

It was a "no". Sorry, let this one go and move forward.

As noted by others, NEVER speak of this again with this woman.

GizmoDVD · 11-05-09, 06:42 PM

When you get fired be sure to update the thread for us!

Quack · 11-05-09, 06:44 PM

Just continue to be friendly, maybe even drift away a little bit to see if you get any response.

I usually hear that advice all the time if you get shot down by a friend or potential more than friend.

Lethal Nemesis · 11-05-09, 06:44 PM

sorry man, it's a no, but major props to you for asking her out. takes balls

scott1598 · 11-05-09, 06:46 PM

sounds like she is playing hard to get. the thrill of the chase. i say hunt her down like a cheetah and mount her.

JasonF · 11-05-09, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PopcornBandit

It's just odd because all of the signs pointed to her being interested.

These are the real signs she was putting up:

Unfortunately, for many chicks the "Friend Zone" sign is very similar to the "Make Out City" sign, which can make it hard for a guy to tell where he is.

Lethal Nemesis · 11-05-09, 06:50 PM

there was a story in our local paper about how female employees at the supermarket had to cut down on greeting guy customers with eye contact and a smile because the guys would interpret it as flirting and would ask them out. some would even try to meet them in the parking lot to ask them out on a date.

just goes to show how we guys interpret things a little differently

Dr Mabuse · 11-05-09, 06:50 PM

This thread delivers.

benh911 · 11-05-09, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PopcornBandit

It's just odd because all of the signs pointed to her being interested.

That's why we have the expression "cock-tease."

The Bus · 11-05-09, 07:03 PM

I'm thinking perhaps she really wasn't throwing signs out, and you just misinterpreted them.

Move on.

antennaball · 11-05-09, 07:07 PM

Oh, you crazy Popcorn-People.

dick_grayson · 11-05-09, 07:12 PM

You should have taken off running when she said "maybe." That's what I would have done.....

11-05-09, 06:06 PM	#1
PopcornBandit Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Upstate, SC Posts: 593	Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) Ok, first off, the story. There is this girl I like at work. I talk to her every day, always joking around and flirting. In fact, she has never seen my serious side (I don't really have much of one anyway). And I get, what I perceive as flirting in return. Anyway, today I decided to ask her to dinner. Here is how the conversation went down: Me: I was wondering if, uh, maybe one day that you aren't busy, if uh, you'll let me take you to dinner? (Yes, all of my "uh's" were in the convo) Her: smilling Are you serious? (keep in mind I was never serious around her until now) Me: Uh, yeah, completely serious. Her: Oh, well maybe. But you know, I've been crazy busy lately so I'm not sure when I would have the chance to go. Me: So it's a maybe? Her: Yup, a maybe. Me: Well, you'll let me know when you're free? (I then proceed to do the "you, me" bit from Night at the Roxbury. Lame, I know.) Anyway, my question is, do you guys think it was an actual maybe? Or a maybe disguised as a no because she is a very nice person and doesn't want to hurt my feelings? I know, I know. Not a very interesting story, but I would love to get Otter's thoughts on the situation. __________________ Why give 100 percent when 35 can still get you paid and laid? - Kenny Powers

11-05-09, 06:07 PM	#2
Liver&Onions Moderator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregonzola Posts: 9,288	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) the latter. Sorry dude. __________________ My gaming blog Twitter

11-05-09, 06:09 PM	#4
TheNightFlier DVD Talk Ultimate Edition Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 4,291	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) [obligatory]Buy her a laptop.[/obligatory] In all seriousness, she doesn't seem that interested. Never hurts to ask though. __________________ Ain't so funny meow is it? My DVD Collection XBL-Ohcrapifell

11-05-09, 06:15 PM	#7
Liver&Onions Moderator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Oregonzola Posts: 9,288	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) Chicks, man. __________________ My gaming blog Twitter

11-05-09, 06:16 PM	#8
Minor Threat DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: - Flex your head - Posts: 12,219	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) It could be a maybe, then again, maybe it's not a maybe..... __________________ "I think they go by username, so you're probably not a very high priority at the moment." - dork "Kansas chokes every year. I don't see why this year will be any different. Go Davidson." - Michael Corvin - Kansas University 2008 National Champions!!!!!

11-05-09, 06:20 PM	#9
Groucho DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah Posts: 46,698	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) That was a "No." __________________ Panda Killers? Xbox Live: Runner Groucho PSN: RunnerGroucho

11-05-09, 06:26 PM	#10
RyoHazuki DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Phoenix Posts: 7,795	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) At least she was nice about it. Sorry man. __________________ When in Rome, go back home and get real dome from a well known crack gnome. Xbox Live: CookinBooks

11-05-09, 06:30 PM	#12
TimeandTide DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Rancho Cucamonga Posts: 2,479	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) That sounded like a scene out of Swingers. Next time you attempt this (different girl, I hope), drop the act (Night at the Roxbury? Really?), and just ask straight out, "You want to get a drink or coffee after work tomorrow?" The whole exchange should have lasted about five seconds, tops. How long ago did you ask? Has the dynamic between the two of you changed?

11-05-09, 06:41 PM	#14
Nugent Senior Member Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Mississippi Posts: 665	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) This sort of made me cringe. It was a "no". Sorry, let this one go and move forward. As noted by others, NEVER speak of this again with this woman.

11-05-09, 06:42 PM	#15
GizmoDVD DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Southern CA Posts: 21,244	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) When you get fired be sure to update the thread for us! __________________ HD DVD = XA1, A30 / 351 Discs Blu-ray = LG BD390 / 263 Discs (As of 9/13/09) XBL: SharpWoodenStke

11-05-09, 06:44 PM	#16
Quack DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Albany, NY Posts: 2,623	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) Just continue to be friendly, maybe even drift away a little bit to see if you get any response. I usually hear that advice all the time if you get shot down by a friend or potential more than friend. __________________ So we buy DVD's.....Hey, at least it's not drugs! Enjoy my DVD Collection. XBOX Gamertag: Quackensmacker Wii Friend Code: 5908 7031 5788 2488 Debt to pay off: $6993.23 by 8/3/10 as of 8/26/09 My Countdown Counting down to: days til I turn 30 253 days 3 hours 21 minutes

11-05-09, 06:44 PM	#17
Lethal Nemesis DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cowtown, CA Posts: 7,471	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) sorry man, it's a no, but major props to you for asking her out. takes balls __________________ "Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually." -- Peter Griffin

11-05-09, 06:46 PM	#18
scott1598 DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: I want to go to there. Posts: 13,541	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) sounds like she is playing hard to get. the thrill of the chase. i say hunt her down like a cheetah and mount her. __________________ "stranger than fiction" DVD collection "almost famous" SteelBook™ collection "Even though I am no better than a beast, don't I have the right to live?"

11-05-09, 06:50 PM	#20
Lethal Nemesis DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cowtown, CA Posts: 7,471	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) there was a story in our local paper about how female employees at the supermarket had to cut down on greeting guy customers with eye contact and a smile because the guys would interpret it as flirting and would ask them out. some would even try to meet them in the parking lot to ask them out on a date. just goes to show how we guys interpret things a little differently __________________ "Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually." -- Peter Griffin Last edited by Lethal Nemesis; 11-05-09 at 06:58 PM.

11-05-09, 06:50 PM	#21
Dr Mabuse DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge... Posts: 8,737	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) This thread delivers. __________________ "Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it." - Samuel Johnson "Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do." - Bertrand Russell

11-05-09, 07:03 PM	#23
The Bus DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Delaware Posts: 42,898	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) I'm thinking perhaps she really wasn't throwing signs out, and you just misinterpreted them. Move on. __________________ Panda Killer XBL/PSN/Steam: Chiwotweiler \| hd dvdaf \| last.fm \| Movies: 2002 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 "Wearing Shakira's ass for a hat interests me more than anything else in the universe." - Hokeyboy

11-05-09, 07:07 PM	#24
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11-05-09, 07:12 PM	#25
dick_grayson DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Lyon Estates Posts: 10,487	Re: Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.) You should have taken off running when she said "maybe." That's what I would have done.....