Not sure what to think. (Asking a girl out related.)

[Bandoman]

Kill her.

[Minor Threat]

Spoken like a true chicken fucker.....

[solipsta]

Originally Posted by Lethal Nemesis

there was a story in our local paper about how female employees at the supermarket had to cut down on greeting guy customers with eye contact and a smile because the guys would interpret it as flirting and would ask them out. some would even try to meet them in the parking lot to ask them out on a date.

I love that. We're such idiots sometimes.

Oh, and I agree with not mentioning it again.

Anyways, good on you for trying. Next time make it a definite time and date. Forget the "when you're free, kinda maybe, I hope so" crap. Just go for the gusto.

[El Scorcho]

if you want her, make up fake shit in about a week or two about how you've got a promising date lined up that weekend (when she asks you what your weekend plans are during a game of chit-chat)

[smashthesymbols]

Originally Posted by Lethal Nemesis

there was a story in our local paper about how female employees at the supermarket had to cut down on greeting guy customers with eye contact and a smile because the guys would interpret it as flirting and would ask them out. some would even try to meet them in the parking lot to ask them out on a date.

just goes to show how we guys interpret things a little differently

That's both funny and pathetic that guys are dumb enough to confuse good customer service with "I want to fuck you."

[KillerCannibal]

Someone with whom you have a "jokey" relationship with probably hasn't taken you seriously ever. And judging by your conversation, she shouldn't.

Also, echoing OscarBluth and TimeandTide, don't EVER bring it up again. In fact, ignore her completely as you've already made things kinda awkward. Trust me, you have.

[Artman]

At least you tried... the worst thing is not knowing. I think saying "let me take you to dinner.." isn't the best phrasing either. You might also start smaller, like getting coffee or a drink (if you're of age).

[Dr. DVD]

Originally Posted by Artman

At least you tried... the worst thing is not knowing. I think saying "let me take you to dinner.." isn't the best phrasing either. You might also start smaller, like getting coffee or a drink (if you're of age).

Agree with this statement. She was saying no, and I think you might have been too direct. Be cautious about asking out people with whom you work, always phrase it as going for coffee or a drink. Also, next time try not to litter your invitation with "uhms" and Roxbury references; that really gives off an uncomfortable vibe and in turn makes the girl feel uneasy.

[clckworang]

I think it has been pretty well covered already, but I agree with solipsta. You should give a specific day when you ask. That way if she sincerely is busy and interested in you, she is more likely to make an effort to reschedule your date and mention a better time.

[Lethal Nemesis]

Originally Posted by El Scorcho

if you want her, make up fake shit in about a week or two about how you've got a promising date lined up that weekend (when she asks you what your weekend plans are during a game of chit-chat)

yup

[Indy24LA]

Her 'maybe' wasn't really about dinner, it was 'I like you, but I just don't think of you in that way'. Happens to all of us.

The good news is, you never know about the future. Definitely drop any pursuit of a relationship, but don't freeze the girl out. Keep everything just the way it was and 'maybe' something might still happen somewhere down the line (just don't try to make it happen). There are too many stories about people in relationships that start, "I didn't even like him at first" for any of us to say never.

[Draven]

Always go in with a plan: "Would you like to have dinner this weekend? I'm free Friday or Sunday." Even if you are free Saturday too.

Then you don't give them any wiggle room. It's either yes or no. If you ask an ambiguous question, don't expect a concrete answer.

[PopcornBandit]

Originally Posted by TimeandTide

That sounded like a scene out of Swingers.

Next time you attempt this (different girl, I hope), drop the act (Night at the Roxbury? Really?), and just ask straight out, "You want to get a drink or coffee after work tomorrow?" The whole exchange should have lasted about five seconds, tops.

How long ago did you ask? Has the dynamic between the two of you changed?

I am a very awkward person (and she knows this) so the Night at the Roxbury schtick was the best I could come up with on short notice, so sue me. I actually just asked today. And I definitely won't bring it up again. The problem is that BOTH of her sisters and her best friend work with me also. And we all know how much girls like to talk. This is going to make for an awkward next couple of weeks methinks.

[KillerCannibal]

^ You should have pulled out some Kenny Powers-isms. You'd be knee-deep in pussy right now!

[JoeyOhhhh]

We need a date forum

[LurkerDan]

Originally Posted by JasonF

These are the real signs she was putting up:



Unfortunately, for many chicks the "Friend Zone" sign is very similar to the "Make Out City" sign, which can make it hard for a guy to tell where he is.

yup. but be prepared for more flirting. do not interpret this flirting as interest.

[Dr. DVD]

Originally Posted by PopcornBandit

The problem is that BOTH of her sisters and her best friend work with me also. And we all know how much girls like to talk. This is going to make for an awkward next couple of weeks methinks.

This is why I warn against asking out co-workers, people start to talk. As long as your failure comes across in a "he was kind of cute, the way he tried" kind of way and not a "boy, I didn't know how creepy he could be" kind, you should be okay.

[SomethingMore]

When someone rejects you, they're really saying that they can't be bothered to eat a free meal with you.

Anyway, post some pics already. This is otter, goddammit.

[Numanoid]

Here are the two ways this can go in the future:

You saying, "So, when's that dinner gonna happen?" = a visit to H.R.

Her saying, "So, when's that dinner gonna happen?" = hot co-worker sex.

[emptysky]

I don't do a lot of things typical women do, but "I'm soooo busy" is always my cop out when I don't want to do something. I don't have to hurt the person's feelings with a flat out no, but I can keep coming up with stuff that I'll be "busy" with til the end of time if necessary.

[D.Pham00]

[Groucho]

Originally Posted by emptysky

I don't do a lot of things typical women do, but "I'm soooo busy" is always my cop out when I don't want to do something. I don't have to hurt the person's feelings with a flat out no, but I can keep coming up with stuff that I'll be "busy" with til the end of time if necessary.

See, this is the problem right here. You don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but you're actually making things worse by dragging it on and on.

Just say no.

[whoopdido]

Originally Posted by Indy24LA

Her 'maybe' wasn't really about dinner, it was 'I like you, but I just don't think of you in that way'. Happens to all of us.

The good news is, you never know about the future. Definitely drop any pursuit of a relationship, but don't freeze the girl out. Keep everything just the way it was and 'maybe' something might still happen somewhere down the line (just don't try to make it happen). There are too many stories about people in relationships that start, "I didn't even like him at first" for any of us to say never.

This is very good advice. I think it's wrong to freeze her out like others have mentioned. It sounded like you and her at least had a somewhat friendly relationship. You took a chance and it backfired. Maybe if you had acted differently or said different things it would have worked out for you and maybe not. In any event, being a dick to her is totally unfair. It wasn't her fault you asked her out. Be 100% professional towards her and try to remain friendly. You don't have to be like Jim Halpert and hang out at her desk for 4 hours a day, but just be nice to her. Also, just a suggestion, if you're always a goofball, maybe tone that act down a bit. It's possible she doesn't see you as a potential because she doesn't take you seriously.

[whoopdido]

Originally Posted by Groucho

See, this is the problem right here. You don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but you're actually making things worse by dragging it on and on.

Just say no.

Yeah I agree. Although, it's difficult to do, being direct is almost always the best for both people involved. So often people get led on by maybes we'll sees and end up worse off in the end.

[jadasion]

Originally Posted by whoopdido

This is very good advice. I think it's wrong to freeze her out like others have mentioned. It sounded like you and her at least had a somewhat friendly relationship. You took a chance and it backfired. Maybe if you had acted differently or said different things it would have worked out for you and maybe not. In any event, being a dick to her is totally unfair. It wasn't her fault you asked her out. Be 100% professional towards her and try to remain friendly. You don't have to be like Jim Halpert and hang out at her desk for 4 hours a day, but just be nice to her. Also, just a suggestion, if you're always a goofball, maybe tone that act down a bit. It's possible she doesn't see you as a potential because she doesn't take you seriously.

I agree with this as well. I would further add that even by you staying friends with her could lead to meeting her friends. Just play it slow.