How Do You Guys/Girls Stay Motivated When You Can't Reach Your Goals In Life???

Mercury&Solace · 01-22-08, 08:43 PM

Everybody has goal(s) in there life they want to reach right......

Be rich.
Find love.
Get married.
Have children.
Be a drifter and travel the world.
Own an island.
Get out of debt.
Travel.
Whatever.

But what happens when you try and try and can't reach that goal(s)??

How do you guys stay motivated when you can't reach your goals you have set for yourself? How do you keep your desire and stay focused disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment?

Without this getting WAY long and bloated, I have been working on a goal for myself for about 7 years now, and I just can't reach it. I have reached my other goals in life, I got a good education, great job, my own car, I can support myself and I just bought a condo. But that one goal I have been working on I can't reach, and after constant disappointment year after year, it tends to really wear on you, and now I just want to say fuck it.

What motivates you??

das Monkey · 01-22-08, 08:49 PM

If the goal is truly worth achieving, you don't need to "stay motivated". Why have goals in life that you don't really want?

das

jw2299 · 01-22-08, 08:53 PM

I learned (or was taught, really) that re-evaluating your goals is not the same as defeat. If you really don't think you can do whatever it is you want to do, being flexible enough to change your plan isn't a weakness.

4KRG · 01-22-08, 08:53 PM

sounds like you are not setting SMART goals

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Result oriented
Time limited

We would really need to know your goal.

I take the simple way out and set no goals for myself that will actually be hard to complete

Goal 1 - make breakfast
and so on

strife · 01-22-08, 08:54 PM

I make subgoals that get me to my main goal. It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.

Mercury&Solace · 01-22-08, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strife

I make subgoals that get me to my main goal. It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.

This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.

ChiTownAbs, Inc · 01-22-08, 09:30 PM

i feel like i am in a bit of the same boat. i've created some side goals that i thought i would reach after hitting the first goal. i'm on track to hit the 2nd goal ...

that being said, i belittle the people that have reached the goal. it makes me feel better

squidget · 01-22-08, 10:23 PM

It's hard to put into words without sounding like a total cornball but here goes:

I have goals, I have a vision of how I want my life to be, there are 2 goals just out of my reach. I get down about it sometimes, I rant about it, write about, then I move on. I look at how much I have accomplished, I look at where I am now and how I could be in a much worse place.
I'm not dying, I'm not sick, I'm not feeble, which means I have time. The goal will take as long as it needs to take. I just keep working at it.
/cheese

pedagogue · 01-22-08, 10:44 PM

I make it happen anyway!!!

Re-adjusting as I go, or some such idea.

-p

dork · 01-22-08, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strife

It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.

Our coach told us to kick low and aim for the corner.

Mercury&Solace · 01-23-08, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squidget

It's hard to put into words without sounding like a total cornball but here goes:

I have goals, I have a vision of how I want my life to be, there are 2 goals just out of my reach. I get down about it sometimes, I rant about it, write about, then I move on. I look at how much I have accomplished, I look at where I am now and how I could be in a much worse place.
I'm not dying, I'm not sick, I'm not feeble, which means I have time. The goal will take as long as it needs to take. I just keep working at it.
/cheese

No way man thats well put!!! Very good, and very motivational.
I feel the same way, I am VERY happy to be where I am at now, I just want more out of life. We only have 1 life to live, and I want more. I am getting tired of waiting. I like your thinking though.

reverie · 01-23-08, 07:25 AM

Step one would be: if you have a goal, write it down. A dream in your head will always be a dream. Writing it down makes it physical. After you've written it down, write down what it would feel like to have accomplished your goal. Then get to work on achieving it. Most people spend too much time planning, and not enough time doing. You should spend 20% of your time planning, and 80% working to get to your goal.

At least that's what David Essel told me last night.

VinVega · 01-23-08, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace

This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.

No matter what people say here, most women really aren't into peeing in the butt. It's going to take time to find that special someone. Don't give up your quest friend.

greg9x · 01-23-08, 08:01 AM

Lower your goals, then bask in your success !!!

Vibiana · 01-23-08, 08:30 AM

I have filthy little daydreams about Bando.

JANK · 01-23-08, 08:38 AM

Just don't be goal-oriented. What's the big deal anyway?

wishbone · 01-23-08, 08:50 AM

Chew · 01-23-08, 09:09 AM

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Graftenberg · 01-23-08, 11:29 AM

revenge

kvrdave · 01-23-08, 12:12 PM

I set realistic goals that are specific. If they are important, I have never found that I can't achieve them, though I may have to adjust them for time, or something. Some goals become less important and come off the list.

Johnny Zhivago · 01-23-08, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace

This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.

What are you trying to accomplish? Finding the cure for cancer? Proving Einstein's theories incorrect? Getting signed to a major label? Finishing your novel?

Goals -> Breathe, don't die, be employed, have a home, eat... You're making this too complicated.... Be happy that you don't live in some third world country and enjoy your life. Obsessing over goals that you can't achieve will accomplish nothing.

solipsta · 01-23-08, 12:45 PM

Sometimes you just have to quit.

There are lots of things you can plan on and make goals, but there are others that just shouldn't be looked at that way. Maybe this is one of them. There are times where it's best to just let go and let things happen as they're going to...

Mrs. Danger · 01-23-08, 01:19 PM

At first I lowered my standards. When that didn't work, I raised them even higher than before.

MartinBlank · 01-23-08, 02:10 PM

I blame The Man.

Mittman · 01-23-08, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace

I have reached my other goals in life, I got a good education, great job, my own car, I can support myself and I just bought a condo. But that one goal I have been working on I can't reach, and after constant disappointment year after year, it tends to really wear on you, and now I just want to say fuck it.

Don't worry, she's out there somewhere.

01-22-08, 08:43 PM	#1
Mercury&Solace DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Rainy ass Seattle yes the weather sucks here, so do our sports teams. Posts: 1,082	How Do You Guys/Girls Stay Motivated When You Can't Reach Your Goals In Life??? Everybody has goal(s) in there life they want to reach right...... Be rich. Find love. Get married. Have children. Be a drifter and travel the world. Own an island. Get out of debt. Travel. Whatever. But what happens when you try and try and can't reach that goal(s)?? How do you guys stay motivated when you can't reach your goals you have set for yourself? How do you keep your desire and stay focused disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment? Without this getting WAY long and bloated, I have been working on a goal for myself for about 7 years now, and I just can't reach it. I have reached my other goals in life, I got a good education, great job, my own car, I can support myself and I just bought a condo. But that one goal I have been working on I can't reach, and after constant disappointment year after year, it tends to really wear on you, and now I just want to say fuck it. What motivates you?? __________________ The night I laid my eyes on you, I felt everything around me move, Got nervous when you looked my way, But you knew all the words to say, And your love slowly moved right in, All this time, oh my love, where you been Mi, amore Don't you know, My love I want you so, Sugar, You make my soul complete, Rapture tastes so sweet

01-22-08, 08:49 PM	#2
das Monkey DVD Talk Hero Join Date: May 1999 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 35,881	If the goal is truly worth achieving, you don't need to "stay motivated". Why have goals in life that you don't really want? das __________________ DragonCon 2004 - 2005 - Lost in Hawaii - DVD Reviews You are not* entitled to your own opinion. You are only entitled to your own informed opinion.** -- Harlan Ellison quoting Gustave Flaubert

01-22-08, 08:53 PM	#3
jw2299 DVD Talk Platinum Edition Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Beautiful (sterile) Johnson Co., KS Posts: 3,882	I learned (or was taught, really) that re-evaluating your goals is not the same as defeat. If you really don't think you can do whatever it is you want to do, being flexible enough to change your plan isn't a weakness. __________________ "See you space cowboy..." "Can anyone tell I'm still shooting for someone's sig line?" - Seeker

01-22-08, 08:54 PM	#5
strife DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,117	I make subgoals that get me to my main goal. It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals. __________________ owner of the sacred otter crayons Strifeman says: sorry skeet I prefer whogirl & kitty in my dreams mosquitobite says: me too

01-22-08, 10:23 PM	#8
squidget DVD Talk Platinum Edition Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 3,403	It's hard to put into words without sounding like a total cornball but here goes: I have goals, I have a vision of how I want my life to be, there are 2 goals just out of my reach. I get down about it sometimes, I rant about it, write about, then I move on. I look at how much I have accomplished, I look at where I am now and how I could be in a much worse place. I'm not dying, I'm not sick, I'm not feeble, which means I have time. The goal will take as long as it needs to take. I just keep working at it. /cheese __________________ I want to fight, I want to fight. I want to prove I'm right. XBL: buzi PSN: squidget

01-22-08, 08:53 PM	#4
4KRG DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jan 2000 Posts: 15,430	sounds like you are not setting SMART goals Specific Measurable Achievable Result oriented Time limited We would really need to know your goal. I take the simple way out and set no goals for myself that will actually be hard to complete Goal 1 - make breakfast and so on

01-22-08, 09:30 PM	#7
ChiTownAbs, Inc DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Aug 1999 Posts: 17,196	i feel like i am in a bit of the same boat. i've created some side goals that i thought i would reach after hitting the first goal. i'm on track to hit the 2nd goal ... that being said, i belittle the people that have reached the goal. it makes me feel better

01-22-08, 10:44 PM	#9
pedagogue DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 27,949	I make it happen anyway!!! Re-adjusting as I go, or some such idea. -p __________________ Everyone is against racial profiling....unless it is called Affirmative Action. -kvrdave Coors Light is sex in a canoe. Natural Light is masturbating in a puddle. -The Bus

01-23-08, 07:25 AM	#12
reverie DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Michigan Posts: 2,425	Step one would be: if you have a goal, write it down. A dream in your head will always be a dream. Writing it down makes it physical. After you've written it down, write down what it would feel like to have accomplished your goal. Then get to work on achieving it. Most people spend too much time planning, and not enough time doing. You should spend 20% of your time planning, and 80% working to get to your goal. At least that's what David Essel told me last night. __________________ "I'm thinking we'll rise again." -Malcolm Reynolds SERENITY You Can't Stop The Signal

01-23-08, 08:01 AM	#14
greg9x DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Frederick, MD Posts: 2,286	Lower your goals, then bask in your success !!!

01-23-08, 08:30 AM	#15
Vibiana DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Living in a van down by the river Posts: 10,965	I have filthy little daydreams about Bando. __________________ Vibiana hooks up with chicks, she's more of a winner than most of the internet. -- mndtrp "If everyone you know is doing it, the only thing to do is rush into a marriage. It'll turn out great so don't worry about it." -- Jules Winfield

01-23-08, 08:38 AM	#16
JANK Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: on some faraway beach Posts: 977	Just don't be goal-oriented. What's the big deal anyway?

01-23-08, 08:50 AM	#17
wishbone DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,716	__________________ "Wishbone is spelled with an E not a 3..... Be gone" - Minor Threat

01-23-08, 09:09 AM	#18
Chew DVD Talk Legend Join Date: May 1999 Location: South of Titletown Posts: 18,628	"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

01-23-08, 11:29 AM	#19
Graftenberg DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: May 2004 Location: sector 2814 Posts: 1,878	revenge __________________ Why was this thread started in the first place?~Dr Mabuse

01-23-08, 12:12 PM	#20
kvrdave DVD Talk God Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: Pacific NW Posts: 79,160	I set realistic goals that are specific. If they are important, I have never found that I can't achieve them, though I may have to adjust them for time, or something. Some goals become less important and come off the list. __________________ Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. - C.S. Lewis

01-23-08, 12:45 PM	#22
solipsta DVD Talk Ultimate Edition Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: West Coast of Canada Posts: 4,415	Sometimes you just have to quit. There are lots of things you can plan on and make goals, but there are others that just shouldn't be looked at that way. Maybe this is one of them. There are times where it's best to just let go and let things happen as they're going to... __________________ Go Canucks!

01-23-08, 01:19 PM	#23
Mrs. Danger Suspended Join Date: May 2005 Location: With Nick Danger Posts: 15,192	At first I lowered my standards. When that didn't work, I raised them even higher than before.

01-23-08, 02:10 PM	#24
MartinBlank DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,032	I blame The Man.