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Old 01-22-08, 08:43 PM   #1
Mercury&Solace
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How Do You Guys/Girls Stay Motivated When You Can't Reach Your Goals In Life???

Everybody has goal(s) in there life they want to reach right......

Be rich.
Find love.
Get married.
Have children.
Be a drifter and travel the world.
Own an island.
Get out of debt.
Travel.
Whatever.

But what happens when you try and try and can't reach that goal(s)??

How do you guys stay motivated when you can't reach your goals you have set for yourself? How do you keep your desire and stay focused disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment?

Without this getting WAY long and bloated, I have been working on a goal for myself for about 7 years now, and I just can't reach it. I have reached my other goals in life, I got a good education, great job, my own car, I can support myself and I just bought a condo. But that one goal I have been working on I can't reach, and after constant disappointment year after year, it tends to really wear on you, and now I just want to say fuck it.

What motivates you??
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Old 01-22-08, 08:49 PM   #2
das Monkey
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If the goal is truly worth achieving, you don't need to "stay motivated". Why have goals in life that you don't really want?

das
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Old 01-22-08, 08:53 PM   #3
jw2299
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I learned (or was taught, really) that re-evaluating your goals is not the same as defeat. If you really don't think you can do whatever it is you want to do, being flexible enough to change your plan isn't a weakness.
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Old 01-22-08, 08:53 PM   #4
4KRG
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sounds like you are not setting SMART goals

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Result oriented
Time limited

We would really need to know your goal.

I take the simple way out and set no goals for myself that will actually be hard to complete

Goal 1 - make breakfast
and so on
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Old 01-22-08, 08:54 PM   #5
strife
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I make subgoals that get me to my main goal. It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.
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Old 01-22-08, 09:03 PM   #6
Mercury&Solace
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strife
I make subgoals that get me to my main goal. It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.
This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.
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Old 01-22-08, 09:30 PM   #7
ChiTownAbs, Inc
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i feel like i am in a bit of the same boat. i've created some side goals that i thought i would reach after hitting the first goal. i'm on track to hit the 2nd goal ...

that being said, i belittle the people that have reached the goal. it makes me feel better
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Old 01-22-08, 10:23 PM   #8
squidget
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It's hard to put into words without sounding like a total cornball but here goes:

I have goals, I have a vision of how I want my life to be, there are 2 goals just out of my reach. I get down about it sometimes, I rant about it, write about, then I move on. I look at how much I have accomplished, I look at where I am now and how I could be in a much worse place.
I'm not dying, I'm not sick, I'm not feeble, which means I have time. The goal will take as long as it needs to take. I just keep working at it.
/cheese
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Old 01-22-08, 10:44 PM   #9
NotThatGuy
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I make it happen anyway!!!

Re-adjusting as I go, or some such idea.

-p
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Old 01-22-08, 11:05 PM   #10
dork
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strife
It's a technique my HS coach taught me to help keep focused while attempting to make long term goals.
Our coach told us to kick low and aim for the corner.
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Old 01-23-08, 12:06 AM   #11
Mercury&Solace
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squidget
It's hard to put into words without sounding like a total cornball but here goes:

I have goals, I have a vision of how I want my life to be, there are 2 goals just out of my reach. I get down about it sometimes, I rant about it, write about, then I move on. I look at how much I have accomplished, I look at where I am now and how I could be in a much worse place.
I'm not dying, I'm not sick, I'm not feeble, which means I have time. The goal will take as long as it needs to take. I just keep working at it.
/cheese
No way man thats well put!!! Very good, and very motivational.
I feel the same way, I am VERY happy to be where I am at now, I just want more out of life. We only have 1 life to live, and I want more. I am getting tired of waiting. I like your thinking though.
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Old 01-23-08, 07:25 AM   #12
reverie
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Step one would be: if you have a goal, write it down. A dream in your head will always be a dream. Writing it down makes it physical. After you've written it down, write down what it would feel like to have accomplished your goal. Then get to work on achieving it. Most people spend too much time planning, and not enough time doing. You should spend 20% of your time planning, and 80% working to get to your goal.

At least that's what David Essel told me last night.
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Old 01-23-08, 07:25 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace
This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.
No matter what people say here, most women really aren't into peeing in the butt. It's going to take time to find that special someone. Don't give up your quest friend.
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Old 01-23-08, 08:01 AM   #14
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Lower your goals, then bask in your success !!!
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Old 01-23-08, 08:30 AM   #15
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Old 01-23-08, 08:38 AM   #16
JANK
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Just don't be goal-oriented. What's the big deal anyway?
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Old 01-23-08, 08:50 AM   #17
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Old 01-23-08, 09:09 AM   #18
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Old 01-23-08, 11:29 AM   #19
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revenge
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Old 01-23-08, 12:12 PM   #20
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I set realistic goals that are specific. If they are important, I have never found that I can't achieve them, though I may have to adjust them for time, or something. Some goals become less important and come off the list.
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Old 01-23-08, 12:26 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace
This is a good idea, I have tried this, didn't work.

The thing is that I can reach other goals that I set for myself. Going to school, job, condo, ect....as I listed above, but this one I have set, no matter what I do I have trouble reaching after 7 years. I have been close, but just haven't got there 100%. And like I said, after constant disappointment, it wears on you, you have no hunger left, you get bored and unmotivated.
And no matter what you guys say, and how much shit I will probably get on here about it, ANYBODY after 7 years is going to feel a little disappointed about it to some extent. Its going to break you down eventually, its only a matter of time, we are all human.
What are you trying to accomplish? Finding the cure for cancer? Proving Einstein's theories incorrect? Getting signed to a major label? Finishing your novel?

Goals -> Breathe, don't die, be employed, have a home, eat... You're making this too complicated.... Be happy that you don't live in some third world country and enjoy your life. Obsessing over goals that you can't achieve will accomplish nothing.
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Old 01-23-08, 12:45 PM   #22
solipsta
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Sometimes you just have to quit.

There are lots of things you can plan on and make goals, but there are others that just shouldn't be looked at that way. Maybe this is one of them. There are times where it's best to just let go and let things happen as they're going to...
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Old 01-23-08, 01:19 PM   #23
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At first I lowered my standards. When that didn't work, I raised them even higher than before.
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Old 01-23-08, 02:10 PM   #24
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I blame The Man.
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Old 01-23-08, 03:01 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury&Solace
I have reached my other goals in life, I got a good education, great job, my own car, I can support myself and I just bought a condo. But that one goal I have been working on I can't reach, and after constant disappointment year after year, it tends to really wear on you, and now I just want to say fuck it.
Don't worry, she's out there somewhere.
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