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Old 06-11-07, 09:05 PM   #1
Original Desmond
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Um i got into trouble for saying to a female !

This young lady i work with, we are actually decent friends. She is pregnant. Now the other day i told he she looked fatter today, meaning her pregnancy was going well and her baby was developing in a healthy way.

Now she wasn't upset upset but was a bit miffed and all the other ladies in my office have had a go at me for saying such a thing!

Now i know you normally tell a female she is fat, but i thought for pregnant women, it would be a compliment

thoughts ?
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Old 06-11-07, 09:08 PM   #2
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Yeah, I don't know if most women would take, "Hey, you're really fat!" as "Hey your pregnancy is coming along swimmingly!"

You could have said, "Wow, that baby is getting big."

Calling someone fat just probably isn't going to work unless you're really tight with them.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:14 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Original Desmond
Now i know you normally tell a female she is fat, but i thought for pregnant women, it would be a compliment

thoughts ?
Pregnant women ESPECIALLY do not want to hear they are fat! They are already feeling bad enough about all the weird changes in their bodies.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:14 PM   #4
dork
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Agreed, that was pretty insensitive.

Next time, just say something like, "Boy your vagina must be really huge!" Meaning the delivery will be easy and painless.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:15 PM   #5
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I once asked a female co-worker why she wasn't in the kitchen.....that didn't go over so hot.

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Old 06-11-07, 09:18 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dork
Agreed, that was pretty insensitive.

Next time, just say something like, "Boy your vagina must be really huge!" Meaning the delivery will be easy and painless.
dork, your vagina is...oh nevermind.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:24 PM   #7
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The word FAT. Is never a compliment. Buy her some flowers with a casual apology and all the gals will be raving about you and your newly found gentle-manly-ness.

Hey, wait a minute. Maybe you meant PHAT. As in, "Hey, with that new baby coming along, you look super PHAT!"

And in that case, you kewl.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:48 PM   #8
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I can't really think of any situation where someone would find "fat" a compliment unless someone is power eating for weight so they can be on the next biggest loser show
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Old 06-11-07, 09:56 PM   #9
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Tell her FAT was supposed to be spelled PHAT.
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Old 06-11-07, 09:58 PM   #10
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Lesson: Never say anything negative to a woman about the way they look. If there's a chance the "compliment" can be taken the wrong way, keep your mouth shut.

I do love witnessing people congradulate a woman on her pregnancy when they actually aren't pregnant. Trying to hear them weasle out of the compliment is priceless. Once again, I keep my mouth shut until I know 100% that she is prego, otherwise I assume she's just getting fat and make no mention of it.
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Old 06-11-07, 10:00 PM   #11
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Don't even say that she's looking like her belly is growing at a healthy rate. For the love of God do you have any idea how emotional we are when pregnant? I know I look like a freaking beluga whale right now but HEAVEN HELP the person who dares to say that to my face! Just don't say anything other than hey, you look great!
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Old 06-11-07, 10:05 PM   #12
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I once asked a girl who was acting moody if she was on the rag (in a room full of people). For some reason she was miffed that I asked it. For what it's worth, I was right, she was (she told a mutual female friend about it later).

Anyway, yes, telling a woman that she is fat is not a compliment. Just a word of advice, if a woman ever asks you how she looks, say "great". If she asks if she looks thinner, say "yes". If she asks you if you like her new hairstyle, say "yes". And never tell a woman that she looks fat, unless you are trying to insult her. The girl whom I asked if she was on the rag? I didn't like her, that was definately meant as an insult.

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Old 06-11-07, 10:13 PM   #13
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I relayed the thought that the image of someone sticking their foot out to trip a baby was both cruel and really funny. The women in the office didnt agree.

D
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Old 06-11-07, 10:13 PM   #14
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My one friend called a female friend of mine, "Thick".....she was NOT amused.

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Old 06-11-07, 10:58 PM   #15
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Yeah, "fat" was simply the wrong choice of words there.

As a matter of fact, the woman is plenty aware of her increasing blubber without anyone having to point it out, so you're better off saying something about her skin. Like, "Wow, how does your skin just stretch like that without tearing?"
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Old 06-11-07, 11:03 PM   #16
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<- Loves preggos and would never say the wrong thing to them.
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Old 06-12-07, 12:33 AM   #17
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Hey G, is that a 1980's cell phone in your front pocket or are you just happy to see a pregnant lady walk by.
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Old 06-12-07, 01:04 AM   #18
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Calling a woman fat is wrong, huh?

I never thought I would see the day...
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Old 06-12-07, 02:37 AM   #19
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Yeah, that doesn't work dude
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Old 06-12-07, 04:25 AM   #20
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Well, your first problem is that you violated the Dr's number 1 rule, which is:

1) Don't talk to women.

So, the proper topic line for this thread should be "I got into trouble for talking to a female."
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Old 06-12-07, 06:36 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Original Desmond
This young lady i work with, we are actually decent friends. She is pregnant. Now the other day i told he she looked fatter today, meaning her pregnancy was going well and her baby was developing in a healthy way.

Now she wasn't upset upset but was a bit miffed and all the other ladies in my office have had a go at me for saying such a thing!

Now i know you normally tell a female she is fat, but i thought for pregnant women, it would be a compliment

thoughts ?
I don't know what is worse, that you actually said that or that you dont understand how wrong it is to say that
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Old 06-12-07, 10:18 AM   #22
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Are you serious? Yeah, you better buy her some flowers or something or you'll get hen pecked to death.
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Old 06-12-07, 10:50 AM   #23
Nick Danger
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Coral is right. Only make a comment on a woman's appearance in a way that can't possibly be misinterpreted.

If you think she looks beautiful when she's pregnant (like Robo and I do), tell her. Otherwise, don't even bring it up. And for the love of Pete, don't base a compliment on something you aren't feeling. Women can always tell when you're giving them a false compliment.
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Old 06-12-07, 11:26 AM   #24
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Basic rule of thumb is to never make a comment about a woman's weight... period. Even if you mention that it looks like they lost weight, they may take it to mean that you think they used to be fat.

Pregnancy throws a hormonal variable in there that even quantum physicists couldn't account for.

Stick with the "My! You are glowing!" statements. I don't know what that means exactly, but women seem to respond positively to it.
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Old 06-12-07, 11:54 AM   #25
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As a genuine fat woman, I can tell you that NO woman appreciates being told she is fat, particularly if she is pregnant and normally not overweight. A fat woman who gets pregnant may go six or eight months with nobody realizing it; a skinny woman constantly worries that she "looks fat" because she's used to wearing a size six or eight and can't anymore.

What bothers me more about this entire situation is that you don't seem to see anything wrong with making a totally unprofessional remark to a co-worker. How fat this woman is -- or looks -- has nothing to do with the work the two of you do.

If it isn't okay for her to say, "Hey, you're really packing on the lard lately!" to you, even as a joke, then it's not okay for you to comment on her body, pregnant or not.
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