My house got egg and balogne sandwiched

Mordred · 02-17-07, 11:52 PM

So I'm sitting in the computer room when all of a sudden a hear a loud bang at the front door and a car peeling out. I look out the window and don't see anything of course, but I open the door and I've got raw egg and what looks like some bread all over the door and dripping into the house.

I ran and grab some shoes and go outside to survey the damage and the neighborhood. Egg is everywhere mixed with some nice gooey bread but I don't really pay all that much attention to it. I start walking up the street to see if anybody else got hit, but secretly hoping the kids come back. I get about 6 houses up the street and all the houses looks fine.

My house is on the street corner and as I'm walking back I see Jetta with 4 kids in it pull up to the corner from the opposite direction. This is about 5 minutes after my house was hit. The door opens and two kids get out in the middle of the street and start walking towards another house. The Jetta peels out (sounding very similar to the sound I'd heard previously) does a quick 180 and parks right in the entrance to a driveway about four houses up the way it had just come. The two kids who are out of the car start laughing and running after the car. The driver leaves his car on but gets out and runs across the street. The other kids join him yelling and start running up to front doors and my thought is that they're going to egg someone else.

I take off the down the street, running right past the three yelling kids and over to the Jetta. I open the front door and ask the kid who is still in the passenger side what the hell they are doing. He replies "It wasn't me, I'm just sitting here, I didn't do anything." I stand there with the door open for about 15 seconds not really sure what I'm going to do, then I reach in and take the keys out of the ignition.

Another neighbor comes out of his house and I ask if his was egged. He says no, so I run back inside my house and have my wife call the non-emergency number. About this time the driver of said Jetta starts ringing my doorbell furiously.

He profusely denies egging the house and gives me this line "I'm on the football team. I take AP classes. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to egg your house?" Well, yes, yes I do.

Around this time a police car pulls into the street and I flag him down. Within 3 minutes two more come. The kids are yelling and the police officers separate us into two groups. I tell him my story and also that I had grabbed the kids keys so he wouldn't run off. He tells me that I shouldn't have done that and they could probably press charges against me for stealing his car. He doesn't think there's a problem though since they're all minors. I take him over to the house and show him the front door. He shines his flashlight on the mass of bread and asks "Is that balogne?" Yes. It was a balogne sandwich... with a nice raw egg (or two?) in it for good measure.

The cops take statements from the four kids, search their car, but don't find any eggs or balogne sandwiches. They walk the driver of the car over to me where he's looking all smug because he knows he's off the hook. He gives me a "I'm sorry your house got egged, but you had no right to take my keys." The officer asks if we'd like to fill out an incident report, but it's a class C misdemeanor and the stupid kids aren't going to get in trouble so I just let it go.

We had to use a hose and sponge to clean off the house, but at least our front door is cleaner than it's been in a while.

Morale of the story: If some dumbass is egging your house, make sure you actually saw him do it before stealing his keys, otherwise the cops won't do anything.

DVD Polizei · 02-18-07, 12:14 AM

Kinda odd they didn't have any evidence on them. Or they have done this on several occasions and have their criminal acts formulated to a perfection.

Find out where they live and mail the residue to their parents.

On second thought. Don't. You'd probably be charged as a terrorist.

Sabrett · 02-18-07, 12:39 AM

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R, my bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R...I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why, I'll say....cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

devilshalo · 02-18-07, 12:52 AM

I think CSI needs to step in to piece the eggshell together and see if they can get any print from it.

And I wouldn't waste any bologna on you. I'd throw a pimento loaf.

bunkaroo · 02-18-07, 02:55 AM

Should have thrown the keys down the nearest sewer.

Bronkster · 02-18-07, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by devilshalo

pimento loaf.

pedagogue · 02-18-07, 11:13 AM

I fucking hate vandalism. Stupid kids doing stupid stuff. This use to happen when I was growing up, but thankfully the kids got caught and they linked a TON of previous vandalism to the kids. The problem was that they still didn't care, their parents paid the fines, got the records sealed, and nothing much came of it. They mostly baseball batted mailboxes....dozens, amongst other things.

-p

Mordred · 02-18-07, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunkaroo

Should have thrown the keys down the nearest sewer.

Then I would have gone to jail which would have been the perfect ending

Mordred · 02-18-07, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by devilshalo

I think CSI needs to step in to piece the eggshell together and see if they can get any print from it.

And I wouldn't waste any bologna on you. I'd throw a pimento loaf.

The police officer when asking if we wanted to file an incident report said something about "trying to take fingerprints." My wife and I were both wondering how hard they would work trying to lift prints off the eggshell.

dork · 02-18-07, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordred

Then I would have gone to jail which would have been the perfect ending

Yes. Then you would have learned what it's really like to get bologna sandwiched.

Ranger · 02-18-07, 01:14 PM

I had a neighbor who got BBQ sauce thrown at his house and of course he lived on the corner.

It was really stupid to take the key. Sounded like the cop just didn't want to waste time because of lack of evidence.

antennaball · 02-18-07, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordred

The police officer when asking if we wanted to file an incident report said something about "trying to take fingerprints." My wife and I were both wondering how hard they would work trying to lift prints off the eggshell.

Aargh. Fuckin' cops like this are why the general public thinks that real life is like CSI.

Mordred · 02-18-07, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ranger

I had a neighbor who got BBQ sauce thrown at his house and of course he lived on the corner.

It was really stupid to take the key. Sounded like the cop just didn't want to waste time because of lack of evidence.

You wouldn't believe the amount of crap that gets thrown in our yard because we live on the corner (and right across from the community pool). I will never EVER by a corner house again.

Taking the key was just a gut reaction because asking them to stay until the cops arrived didn't seem very likely. It was fun watching the kid sweat though when I had his keys. My guess is the kids either got rid of their egg and balogna elsewhere in the neighborhood before coming back, or they just had the one to begin with. I suppose the other alternative is that some kids through some crap at my house then sped off, then another group just happened to show up 5 minutes later running around through peoples lawns 5 minutes later. I mean, that seems plausible right?

At least I got a good story out of the deal.

Sabrett · 02-18-07, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordred

balogna

Still?

Must I sing that damn song again?

Canadian Bacon · 02-18-07, 05:28 PM

egg and balogna? I prefer egg and bacon

pedagogue · 02-18-07, 05:50 PM

bacon and egg........

-p

dork · 02-18-07, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabrett

Must I sing that damn song again?

Yes.

Slowly.

DVDpackrat · 02-18-07, 09:24 PM

When I was a kid, my elderly neighbors got a tampon dipped in ketscup put in their mailbox and a pad with ketscup on it stuck to their car's windshield. Someone also spray painted over their license plate. Sad.

dork · 02-18-07, 09:31 PM

Hey, Sabrett, know any songs about ketchup?

DVDpackrat · 02-18-07, 09:43 PM

Leave the drunk alone funny mister.

mndtrp · 02-19-07, 01:39 AM

I'm waiting for Single to post about your actions.

I imagine the kid was freaking out when you took his keys. Tossing them on the nearest roof, and then not calling the cops, would have been the way to go.

Mordred · 02-19-07, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mndtrp

I'm waiting for Single to post about your actions.

I imagine the kid was freaking out when you took his keys. Tossing them on the nearest roof, and then not calling the cops, would have been the way to go.

Yeah. My hope is that I scared them bad enough that they won't mess with me again. So far no eggs today... we'll see next weekend though.

Duran · 02-19-07, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordred

Taking the key was just a gut reaction because asking them to stay until the cops arrived didn't seem very likely.

Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?

dork · 02-19-07, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duran

Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?

Well, I doubt he had a screwdriver on hand.

Mordred · 02-19-07, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duran

Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?

Well that was the original plan, but:

A) I was walking the neighborhood and didn't have pen/paper with me.
B) They parked about 200 yards from my house and I figured there was a 50/50 chance that something else would happen and I'd forget it before I could get back inside and write it down
C) Do you really expect the cops to go out looking for a car that had thrown some egg at my house? I figured they would have to be caught red handed... which is what I thought I'd done at the time.

02-17-07, 11:52 PM	#1
Mordred DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jan 2000 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 11,492	My house got egg and balogne sandwiched So I'm sitting in the computer room when all of a sudden a hear a loud bang at the front door and a car peeling out. I look out the window and don't see anything of course, but I open the door and I've got raw egg and what looks like some bread all over the door and dripping into the house. I ran and grab some shoes and go outside to survey the damage and the neighborhood. Egg is everywhere mixed with some nice gooey bread but I don't really pay all that much attention to it. I start walking up the street to see if anybody else got hit, but secretly hoping the kids come back. I get about 6 houses up the street and all the houses looks fine. My house is on the street corner and as I'm walking back I see Jetta with 4 kids in it pull up to the corner from the opposite direction. This is about 5 minutes after my house was hit. The door opens and two kids get out in the middle of the street and start walking towards another house. The Jetta peels out (sounding very similar to the sound I'd heard previously) does a quick 180 and parks right in the entrance to a driveway about four houses up the way it had just come. The two kids who are out of the car start laughing and running after the car. The driver leaves his car on but gets out and runs across the street. The other kids join him yelling and start running up to front doors and my thought is that they're going to egg someone else. I take off the down the street, running right past the three yelling kids and over to the Jetta. I open the front door and ask the kid who is still in the passenger side what the hell they are doing. He replies "It wasn't me, I'm just sitting here, I didn't do anything." I stand there with the door open for about 15 seconds not really sure what I'm going to do, then I reach in and take the keys out of the ignition. Another neighbor comes out of his house and I ask if his was egged. He says no, so I run back inside my house and have my wife call the non-emergency number. About this time the driver of said Jetta starts ringing my doorbell furiously. He profusely denies egging the house and gives me this line "I'm on the football team. I take AP classes. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to egg your house?" Well, yes, yes I do. Around this time a police car pulls into the street and I flag him down. Within 3 minutes two more come. The kids are yelling and the police officers separate us into two groups. I tell him my story and also that I had grabbed the kids keys so he wouldn't run off. He tells me that I shouldn't have done that and they could probably press charges against me for stealing his car. He doesn't think there's a problem though since they're all minors. I take him over to the house and show him the front door. He shines his flashlight on the mass of bread and asks "Is that balogne?" Yes. It was a balogne sandwich... with a nice raw egg (or two?) in it for good measure. The cops take statements from the four kids, search their car, but don't find any eggs or balogne sandwiches. They walk the driver of the car over to me where he's looking all smug because he knows he's off the hook. He gives me a "I'm sorry your house got egged, but you had no right to take my keys." The officer asks if we'd like to fill out an incident report, but it's a class C misdemeanor and the stupid kids aren't going to get in trouble so I just let it go. We had to use a hose and sponge to clean off the house, but at least our front door is cleaner than it's been in a while. Morale of the story: If some dumbass is egging your house, make sure you actually saw him do it before stealing his keys, otherwise the cops won't do anything. __________________ PSN: MordredKLB \| last.fm \| Music Ratings: 2009 2010 2011 2012 "Mordred is a very smart man." - JasonF

02-18-07, 12:14 AM	#2
DVD Polizei DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Overpricedville, OR Posts: 36,727	Kinda odd they didn't have any evidence on them. Or they have done this on several occasions and have their criminal acts formulated to a perfection. Find out where they live and mail the residue to their parents. On second thought. Don't. You'd probably be charged as a terrorist. __________________ Blu-ray Titles: ~380 \| HD DVD Titles: ~323 "I don't sell airplane parts. I've never sold airplane parts."

02-18-07, 12:39 AM	#3
Sabrett DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Brooklyn, New Yawk Posts: 1,640	My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R, my bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R...I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why, I'll say....cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A __________________ Sabrina's DVD Collection

02-18-07, 12:52 AM	#4
devilshalo DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Somewhere between Heaven and Hell Posts: 24,148	I think CSI needs to step in to piece the eggshell together and see if they can get any print from it. And I wouldn't waste any bologna on you. I'd throw a pimento loaf. __________________ Just once, I would like to be a puppetmaster and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask? - Dwight Schrute

02-18-07, 11:13 AM	#7
pedagogue DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 27,949	I fucking hate vandalism. Stupid kids doing stupid stuff. This use to happen when I was growing up, but thankfully the kids got caught and they linked a TON of previous vandalism to the kids. The problem was that they still didn't care, their parents paid the fines, got the records sealed, and nothing much came of it. They mostly baseball batted mailboxes....dozens, amongst other things. -p __________________ Everyone is against racial profiling....unless it is called Affirmative Action. -kvrdave Coors Light is sex in a canoe. Natural Light is masturbating in a puddle. -The Bus

02-18-07, 02:55 AM	#5
bunkaroo DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Naperville, IL Posts: 11,875	Should have thrown the keys down the nearest sewer.

02-18-07, 01:14 PM	#11
Ranger DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 18,143	I had a neighbor who got BBQ sauce thrown at his house and of course he lived on the corner. It was really stupid to take the key. Sounded like the cop just didn't want to waste time because of lack of evidence.

02-18-07, 05:28 PM	#15
Canadian Bacon DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: North of the South Pole, South of the North Pole Posts: 18,295	egg and balogna? I prefer egg and bacon

02-18-07, 05:50 PM	#16
pedagogue DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 27,949	bacon and egg........ -p __________________ Everyone is against racial profiling....unless it is called Affirmative Action. -kvrdave Coors Light is sex in a canoe. Natural Light is masturbating in a puddle. -The Bus

02-18-07, 09:24 PM	#18
DVDpackrat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 190	When I was a kid, my elderly neighbors got a tampon dipped in ketscup put in their mailbox and a pad with ketscup on it stuck to their car's windshield. Someone also spray painted over their license plate. Sad. __________________ "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.” - John Wayne

02-18-07, 09:31 PM	#19
dork DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 9,959	Hey, Sabrett, know any songs about ketchup?

02-18-07, 09:43 PM	#20
DVDpackrat Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 190	Leave the drunk alone funny mister. __________________ "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.” - John Wayne

02-19-07, 01:39 AM	#21
mndtrp DVD Talk Legend Join Date: May 2004 Location: a mile high, give or take a few feet Posts: 10,799	I'm waiting for Single to post about your actions. I imagine the kid was freaking out when you took his keys. Tossing them on the nearest roof, and then not calling the cops, would have been the way to go.