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Old 12-07-06, 04:14 PM   #1
U6C84
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Last edited by U6C84; 04-06-09 at 03:08 PM.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:17 PM   #2
RunBandoRun
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Only one thing TO do. Get her away from the guy, period. I'm not talking about you personally. If it were me, I would appeal to her family and everyone else I could and get her out of wherever they live and to where he can't get to her.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:20 PM   #3
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She needs to go to the police. She will be able to get a restraining order pretty quickly. If she really thinks this guy will come after her she needs to get out of town for awhile.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:21 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandoman
She needs to go to the police. She will be able to get a restraining order pretty quickly. If she really thinks this guy will come after her she needs to get out of town for awhile.
This is probably the only way to resolve this.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:22 PM   #5
U6C84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vibiana
Only one thing TO do. Get her away from the guy, period. I'm not talking about you personally. If it were me, I would appeal to her family and everyone else I could and get her out of wherever they live and to where he can't get to her.
That's exactly what I wanted to do.

What I was contemplating was calling her house and talking to her parents about the situation. I know it may jeopardize the relationship I have with her but it may just end up saving her "life" since she has no real contact with anyone else.

Plus, I don't know what the parents would think, a complete stranger calling giving them this information. From everyone elses eyes they think that he's the perfect boyfriend. She's a cute attractive girl..where he's a hideous behemoth and everyone thinks he must be such a gentleman because of that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandoman
She needs to go to the police. She will be able to get a restraining order pretty quickly. If she really thinks this guy will come after her she needs to get out of town for awhile.
That's what I keep telling her. We graduate in 2 weeks anyways...so I told her she needs to go away for a while, but she's scared it will just make everything worse.

Last edited by U6C84; 12-07-06 at 04:25 PM.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:23 PM   #6
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She should wait until he gets really-really drunk one night and then put gasoline on his balls and light them.....
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Old 12-07-06, 04:30 PM   #7
GradVT06
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Get the police involved anyway you can. take pictures, have your friend maybe email you so there's written statements, anything you can do to show the police or have proof of abuse. Hopefully, she won't deny anything once the police are involved.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:32 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by U6C84
What I was contemplating was calling her house and talking to her parents about the situation. I know it may jeopardize the relationship I have with her but it may just end up saving her "life" since she has no real contact with anyone else.

Plus, I don't know what the parents would think, a complete stranger calling giving them this information. From everyone elses eyes they think that he's the perfect boyfriend. She's a cute attractive girl..where he's a hideous behemoth and everyone thinks he must be such a gentleman because of that.
Does she live with the guy? Because your original post made it sound like she does.

Either way, I'd enlist her parents' help for sure. If it were my daughter, I'd want someone to help her.

One thing about your posts worries me. You can help this girl, but she's not going to owe you being your girlfriend as a result. If you are going into this genuinely to help her, then that's good. If you're going into it to try and break them up so you can have her, you're liable to be disappointed.

I hope my instincts are wrong and that you're not another Captain Save A Ho. Either way, if this girl is getting hit, she needs help.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:34 PM   #9
bwvanh114
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The best way to help a friend out is offer the friends with benefits package.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:36 PM   #10
U6C84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GradVT06
Get the police involved anyway you can. take pictures, have your friend maybe email you so there's written statements, anything you can do to show the police or have proof of abuse. Hopefully, she won't deny anything once the police are involved.
That's what's wrong. I don't know if she would admit to any of it. She told me not to save the conversation we had about it because she does'nt want any traces that we've talked about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vibiana
Does she live with the guy? Because your original post made it sound like she does.

Either way, I'd enlist her parents' help for sure. If it were my daughter, I'd want someone to help her.

One thing about your posts worries me. You can help this girl, but she's not going to owe you being your girlfriend as a result. If you are going into this genuinely to help her, then that's good. If you're going into it to try and break them up so you can have her, you're liable to be disappointed.

I hope my instincts are wrong and that you're not another Captain Save A Ho. Either way, if this girl is getting hit, she needs help.
LoL, I don't want her to be my girlfriend as a result...I'm just worried for her safety. There's too much baggage for me....I'm just trying to help her.

Yeah, it seems like they live together, but they don't. She lives at home with her family, while he lives on his own. The problem is, is that she isn't even allowed to go out with her family and she always has to make excuses. If they want to go out to dinner, she tells her parents that she has to do homework or study. It's seriously ridiculous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bwvanh114
The best way to help a friend out is offer the friends with benefits package.
Hmmm...that would help me.

Last edited by U6C84; 12-07-06 at 04:38 PM.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:37 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by U6C84
What I was contemplating was calling her house and talking to her parents about the situation. I know it may jeopardize the relationship I have with her but it may just end up saving her "life"
Your relationship feelings really to take a back seat to her situation. If you care for her at all, you should act on the advice given above. Once this is crap is all behind her, then you can focus back on your relationship.

As a side note, and not to be a dick, but she sounds like she has a codependency issue and if she doesn't get some sort of counseling for that, probably won't ever be in a "good" relationship, with you or anyone else. Sadly, many people who are in abusive relationships go right on to another.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:39 PM   #12
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Help this girl, then move on.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:39 PM   #13
U6C84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bronkster
Your relationship feelings really to take a back seat to her situation. If you care for her at all, you should act on the advice given above. Once this is crap is all behind her, then you can focus back on your relationship.

As a side note, and not to be a dick, but she sounds like she has a codependency issue and if she doesn't get some sort of counseling for that, probably won't ever be in a "good" relationship, with you or anyone else. Sadly, many people who are in abusive relationships go right on to another.
Ahh...relationship...I guess I used the wrong word. We have a friendship....I'm not trying to get in this girls pants. Well not anymore.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:41 PM   #14
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You ever wonder if she's playing you?????
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Old 12-07-06, 04:44 PM   #15
U6C84
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
You ever wonder if she's playing you?????
Yeah, I have. That's something I didn't add to the story. When I said that there's a lot of back story...there's a lot.

In the past conversations we've had....everything is a game to her...she makes me guess about everything and when I get it right, she doesn't make it clear and I have to keep prying more information out of her.

It's possible that she is messing with me, but she does always seem depressed and not all that happy. She doesn't have many friends and doesn't talk to anyone. After a group meeting, I've offered to drive her home, but she decided to stay later at the bookstore and get a ride from her "mom", which ended up being her boyfriend who picked her up.
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Old 12-07-06, 04:47 PM   #16
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hit it then quit it
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Old 12-07-06, 04:52 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by U6C84
In the past conversations we've had....everything is a game to her...she makes me guess about everything and when I get it right, she doesn't make it clear and I have to keep prying more information out of her.
Why bother? Why would you want this person as a "friend?"

She's a drama queen.

Run. Now.
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Old 12-07-06, 09:00 PM   #18
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What Rick said. You can't help her until she is ready to be helped, if any of this is true. But telling her parents about it all might generate some entertainment.
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