'Cheeto's recipe stolen' said the tag on the bag
I'm in the kitchen and eye a bag of hot cheetos, on it there's a label that says "Cheeto's recipe stolen! Help find it yadadada!" FUCK IT ALL. If there isn't enough worries in this day and age that some guy stole the recipe, unbelievable. Are the Cheetos company workers just standing around with their dicks in their hands here for this incompetence of leaked information? Was it just one sole recipe sheet that they have to go to when the factory ingrediant computers need resets and/or did the only people knowing the info get assassinated/grabbed? Why would they advertise this shit too as if we're supposed to be watchdogs for a dude in a long coat that carries the plans in a slim briefcase? I'm guessing the proprietors of this hit are part of some larger global evil dedicated organization and/or a branch organization of a larger one or possibly ex-Cold War RONIN looking for a job although least likely considering the smash-and-grab had to be a)an inside man whose been long enough to get near the recipe vault or b)an extensive intricate multi-coordinated plan by an all-star team of crack-thiefs, possibly consisting of 11 members. Well i set up my surveillance equipment and have gone on "raids" in random places to try my best to catch this enemy agent(s), but the real work is to try to pick up some leads and maybe rough up some suspects to squeeze some info out of them. It'll be a long and tough job (hopefully not) but since all the turmoil of the world what with the terror war, all the political upheavals, global warming, social struggles, i figure that i better do something to lend my hand to relieve some weight off the free world's list of problems. I may be way over my head and this may be some spiral into danger on a level previously unexperienced, a regular journey into mystery, but for freedom, for King and Country.