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View Poll Results: What should I do with the note?
Deliver it 6 13.95%
Destroy it 27 62.79%
Give it to her mom 10 23.26%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-06-06, 01:57 AM   #1
NORML54601
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Ethical dilemma - please advise

I got a note today that I opened and started reading before I realized it wasn't addressed to me. Being the curious & nosy person I am I finished reading it anyway. The ethical dilemma is whether or not I should give the note to the intended person. The situation is: The note is from a guy in jail who is soon headed back to prison. He explains his life story (sob story) his history with drugs including any and every one you can imagine, and how he loves her & how she's his reason for living. The whole thing came off to me as minupliative & desperate. The note concludes
Quote:
Geoff (Jeff) was askin me bout the 3way again. If you could do this that'd be awesome. Let me no asap (sic)
If a woman wants to throw her life away on some loser that's none of my business, my concern is that this is addressed to my 17 year old female neighbor. I looked the guy's record up online and it includes multiple felonies iincluding burgrlaries, auto theft, assult & various drug charges and he's been flagged as a repeat offender. I've known people like this in the past (and current) & while I don't think taking notes for someone else is right, I feel the ends justify the means in this case. This seems too me to be a situation where if this idiot can get his hooks (and Jeff's dick) in her, her life is going to take a turn for the worse and it won't be long before she's in prison. IMO she's better off never hearing from the guy again. He'll be shipped off from county to an actual prison shortly from what I can gather. I've also considered talking to her mom about it, but am not sure that's such a good idea. When mom tells a girl to stay away from a guy, the opposite is usually the result, especally when he's a "bad boy". So, please give your opinions, especally the parents. Should I bring the note over and just say I opened it by mistake and didn't read it, or should I destroy it?






*It's possible that note is another word for a written form of communication which you could get into trouble for tampering with and I would never do.
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Old 05-06-06, 02:13 AM   #2
kvrdave
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I wouldn't just give it to her mom, I would explain the circumstances. 17 years old is really an adult, though, so the other possible thing to do is to talk to the girl directly.

Crappy place to be, but you have the ability to make something decent out of it. I would assume that if you just destroy it, he will write again.
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Old 05-06-06, 02:31 AM   #3
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The only ethical dilema I see is that someone other than the intended recipient is holding onto the note. Its not really your choice to make, all you can do is pass the 'note' on to the rightful owner and hope she makes the right decision. Its frankly disturbing that you would continue reading it after realizing it was for someone else. Good forbid I become your neighbor someday.
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Old 05-06-06, 02:37 AM   #4
NatrlBornThrllr
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I'd trash it, but that's just me.
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Old 05-06-06, 03:04 AM   #5
Deep_Cheese
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Be rid of them All, you can't afford to be involved in this.

End it, End it Now.!!!
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Old 05-06-06, 04:35 AM   #6
BellsOfWar
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tough call. one thing i've known my whole life is trash sticks to trash. if she's done a 3way at the age of 17 (or younger) chances are it's to late bud. it sounds like the girl just needs attention and gets it anyway possible. i also suspect she has no dignity. my guess is maybe a broken home/neglecting parents. now if this girl is a friend of yours, maybe you can casually bring it up (not teh sex) just the bf and see what she thinks and give her your input, the usual you can do better, whatever you wanna say. if it's just some neighbor you never talk to, hell give her the note, cuz if you don't she'll just find another felon.
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Old 05-06-06, 06:15 AM   #7
NCMojo
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Wow. This is a tough call. Hmm... you know what would make this process a lot easier? Pictures of the 17 year old girl in question.
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Old 05-06-06, 06:56 AM   #8
nevermind
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adiras
Good forbid I become your neighbor someday.
You get a lot of requests for 3-ways?
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Old 05-06-06, 07:14 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCMojo
Wow. This is a tough call. Hmm... you know what would make this process a lot easier? Pictures of the 17 year old girl in question.
...and to think that when I saw your name I thought I was going to read the first thoughtful response in the thread.



NORM - I don't think you have a choice but to deliver the "note" to the proper address (we all know that this is a letter delivered by the USPS, and we all know that it's a federal offense to tamper with its proper delivery). If you give it to the girl's mom with an explanation, you will be admitting that you read the entire note. However, I think the mom would appreciate knowing about this. If I were you, I would wait until the girl is not home and the mom is, then go over and say "hey, I got this in my mail and opened it before I realized it wasn't addressed to me. Sorry about that" and hand it over to mom without another word. She can decide whether to read it first.
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Old 05-06-06, 07:14 AM   #10
FantasticVSDoom
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I would just throw it away...You know, sometimes shit happens, we get stuff not intended for us, and thats the way it goes. If you take the note to them, then you will be caught up in the middle of it. If you just get rid of it, and forget about it, then you wont have to worry about it.
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Old 05-06-06, 07:16 AM   #11
kantonburg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BellsOfWar
one thing i've known my whole life is trash sticks to trash.
I have to agree. Growing up in a small town and everybody knowing everyone thats just how it is. It's unfortunate but on the same hand don't be "that guy". You know trying to be the neighbor police. If she was plotting something to do something to someone that would be another story. This is her life.
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Old 05-06-06, 07:34 AM   #12
NCMojo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandoman
...and to think that when I saw your name I thought I was going to read the first thoughtful response in the thread.
Hey, for all we know, the OP is this fellow Geoff (Jeff). How are we supposed to judge the ethical dilemna involving a 17 year old girl and an ex-con in a hot three way without looking at pictures?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandoman
NORM - I don't think you have a choice but to deliver the "note" to the proper address (we all know that this is a letter delivered by the USPS, and we all know that it's a federal offense to tamper with its proper delivery). If you give it to the girl's mom with an explanation, you will be admitting that you read the entire note. However, I think the mom would appreciate knowing about this. If I were you, I would wait until the girl is not home and the mom is, then go over and say "hey, I got this in my mail and opened it before I realized it wasn't addressed to me. Sorry about that" and hand it over to mom without another word. She can decide whether to read it first.
This is actually the first thoughtful response to the thread.

Of course, Bando is also encouraging you to confess to a federal crime... I'm not sure if he's just trying to score some points with the DOJ or whether he harbors some deep grudge against you, Norm, but in any case I would be veeerrrry careful.
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Old 05-06-06, 08:32 AM   #13
ElementZ
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Throw it out and have a 3 way with the 17 year old and her mom
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Old 05-06-06, 08:45 AM   #14
greg9x
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Give it to the mom, apologize for accidently reading a bit of it, then casually mention how you guess it'd be a good idea to keep your doors locked when her daughters boyfriends come around.... either the mom will be curious and read the 'note' herself or will not give a fuck and then you'll know the reason her daughter is dating felons.

But, if the 17 year old is hot, give it to her and casually mention how you just got done serving hard time and are trying to change your bad boy ways !!
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Old 05-06-06, 08:45 AM   #15
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I would toss it. "lost in the mail" you know.

The girl is probably just indulging in a little fantasizing she thinks is safe because the guy is in prison, and nothing can really come of it. I doubt if she has any intention of doing more than writing letters.

The last thing you want to do is get in the middle of it.
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Old 05-06-06, 09:01 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FantasticVSDoom
I would just throw it away...You know, sometimes shit happens, we get stuff not intended for us, and thats the way it goes. If you take the note to them, then you will be caught up in the middle of it. If you just get rid of it, and forget about it, then you wont have to worry about it.


Stay out of it.
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Old 05-06-06, 09:04 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracer Bullet


Stay out of it.
He's already in it.

And to respond to Mojo, telling mom that he accidentally opened it before he realized it wasn't addressed to him isn't admitting to a federal crime, it's admitting to an accident. The mail carrier was the one who screwed up, not the OP.
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Old 05-06-06, 09:09 AM   #18
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mark it return to sender and drop it back into a mailbox - er - I mean since it is just a "note" - toss in in the street

just as a side note and nothing to do with this situation

I constantly get other peoples mail delivered to me, the post office says to just drop it in a mailbox or drop it by the post office. I am under NO obligation to delivery it myself.

It would be a real shame if it got a little wet and it was impossible to read the delivery address, but the senders address was unharmed
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Old 05-06-06, 09:11 AM   #19
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I'm with Bando. I'm not certain someone is going to prosecute the opening of a letter that was put in your mailbox as a crime. Or rather, that's a stupid thought, he committed no crime. Now, of course, he needs to do the right thing and turn it over to the family.

I'd play it how Bando said. Give it to the Mom and let the chips fall.

And, Adiras, I think you're being a little full of yourself if you're suggesting that you've never lingered to hear someone else's conversation, held a glance a little long at another person's monitor, or listened to or spread gossip about someone. It is human nature.
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Old 05-06-06, 09:23 AM   #20
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I'm another who thinks the letter should get to it's intended addressee. If you're worried that they will think you opened it, and read it, maybe put it in another envelope with her address (sans return address, d'oh!) and mail it at a local post office. Maybe add a computer-printed note saying it arrived at the wrong address.
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Old 05-06-06, 10:54 AM   #21
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I would just destroy it. Yeah the postal service screwed up, but it's really none of your business, and there's no need to make it your business. If this girl has such personality probelms where she would be interested in a multiple offense criminal, then one found letter is not going to change that. If the mother can't see this, then one found letter is not going to change that. You are not going to be able to save this girl by turning in the letter, so don't get yourself into possible hot water for letting them know you read it.
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Old 05-06-06, 11:20 AM   #22
foggy
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I read up a little bit on the relevant Federal law (18 USC 1708) and it seems to be the opinion of the courts that it is only illegal to keep misdelivered or misaddressed mail for criminal purposes (i.e. theft or fraud). If a person receives someone else's mail and "forgets about it" or "accidentally destroys it" there is no criminal intent and no criminal liability.
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Old 05-06-06, 11:39 AM   #23
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wait, Geoff is trying to get a 3-way?

I'd trash it
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Old 05-06-06, 11:40 AM   #24
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wait
what's the age of consent in your state?
maybe give it to the DA
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Old 05-06-06, 12:13 PM   #25
criptik28
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Jesus. Tough situation. My instinct is to give the note to the neighbor. Then I'd wish I never opened that letter...wish that I'd never gotten involved.
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