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View Poll Results: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread
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What are you high? 1 16.67%
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Old 08-05-17, 05:59 PM   #26
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Re: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread

I hate to say it ... this movie was a bore. As quick as it starts, it's over. There's no exposition around the sci-fi tech. I didn't realize I was watching the climax until after it ended.

It wasn't a chore to watch. But there wasn't a single moment in it to rally around. Mcconaughey doesn't get to do anything interesting. Elba and the kid did alright with what they had.

I also think they were limited by the budget. Nothing was really fascinating to see.

Too bad. Ten years of up and down production. And this is what we got. Still looking forward to the show.
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Old 08-08-17, 01:40 AM   #27
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Re: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread

Why is everyone so eager to piss on this movie? I thought it was pretty damn good. I didn't love it, but the performances were solid (if a bit shallow), and the story had a decent flow (if a bit rushed).

I think the best comparison is the Hannibal TV show. This isn't a straight adaptation of the novels. They're gonna use the characters and the atmosphere and a blend of various plot threads. Were you expecting 4000 pages of story to fit perfectly into a feature length film? Would anyone argue that The Gunslinger (as a straight adaptation) would work as a movie?

I started the Dark Tower books last year. Almost done with Wolves of the Calla. I'm enjoying them, but they're hardly great literature. I'm good with a looser adaptation.

Get off your fuckin' high horse (for your father's sake) and have a good time at an entertaining movie.
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Old 08-08-17, 08:32 AM   #28
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Re: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread

I'm not eager to piss on it.

I think it's there with movies like Aeon Flux, Jonah Hex, Battlefield Earth, Ultraviolet, Beowulf, Final Fantasy, on and on. It's sci-fi fantasy that isn't able to connect with an audience. There's always going to be some people who can enjoy certain movies.

None of those movies were unwatchable. They just lack the emotional connection that brings forth those really special moments when you 'fall in love' with a movie. You achieve that, and sprinkle at least a few special moments around any movie, and you have me hooked. With this movie, I felt nothing.

But glad you enjoyed it! Knowing that someone out there enjoyed it, and we might be getting a much better TV show makes me happier than the movie itself.
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Old 08-08-17, 11:17 AM   #29
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Re: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread

I have never read the books. I found that I was dropped into this conflict near the end and watched a 20 minute wrap up where I didn't get to know what or why, so I never felt the weight of anything for it to matter what happens. It's like I was watching Matrix Revolutions without ever seeing Matrix and Matrix Reloaded.
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Old 09-13-17, 08:56 AM   #30
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Re: The Dark Tower (Nikolaj Arcel, 2017) The Spoiler Filled Reviews Thread

Saw this last night. I thought it was... mostly ok.
Not good, but not terrible.

I had only read 3 of the books, and barely remember the specifics, but not a whole lot felt familiar here anyway. I liked Roland and Jake here (and Jake's mom...) but Walter... oof. I love MM, but feel like he was the wrong choice for that role.

Anyway... I'm just saying... it could have been worse, but wasn't exactly good... and it should have been a whole lot better. There were some genuinely funny bits with Roland in modern day NYC that I liked.

I'd give it a 2.5 or 3 out of 5.
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