Ash Ketchum

I go alone. I try to time it so I get there after the commercials but just before the trailers start. I spend a few minutes testing seats in the back row until I find the seat back that's the least painful for my back. Sometimes I find one that doesn't move back, which is best for me. If there are too many people there already for me to do that, I start the show as one unhappy camper. So no reserved seating for me.

I eat beforehand or bring in food from outside (yogurt and banana or a fast-food sandwich depending on where I can stop before the film). Some theaters I go to (Japan Society, Museum of Modern Art) don't allow food in the theater. I usually just bring in water for a drink. I pee beforehand, but often have to pee during the film. If it's something I don't want to miss anything from, I hold it in, which can be painful. If I no longer care about what I'm seeing, I go whenever it looks like a talk scene is about to unfold. But it's been a while since I've seen a film I've had to go pee in the middle of. The last long movie I saw was FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD (2 hours) and I managed to hold it in.

On Thursday, I went to see INSIDE OUT and I bought a healthy hot salad bar lunch beforehand (turkey brisket and steamed broccoli) to eat in the theater. The theater I went to had all kinds of issues and made me wait on line (with 2 people in front of me) for nearly 10 minutes before telling me there was a problem in Theater 3 and the 12:30 PM showing of INSIDE OUT was canceled, even though the electronic display listed it. So I left for another theater eight blocks away (Manhattan) that had a 1:15 PM showing and I headed there and made that show and ate my lunch in the back row before having to call out a couple of yentas a couple of rows in front of me who were babbling away during the trailers as if they were in their own living room.

"Excuse me, but I'm trying to watch the trailers and your conversation is way louder than you think it is."
"Oh, I didn't know you were watching the trailers."

How's that for an idiotic response?

EdTheRipper

I used to always try and get there a half hour early, but got frustrated sitting through all of the same music videos and trivia again and again. Now, I usually get there about 10-15 minutes beforehand. We usually sit in the back row of the front section of seats. I used to like sitting all the way in the back, but too many cell phone lights annoyed the hell out of me. Now, we very rarely have people in front of us.

RocShemp

So glad I don't live in Detroit.

This post made me feel old just by reading it.

Trevor

I used to have pretty elaborate rituals and always make every movie day a minimum triple feature. But to be honest, I think my movie going days are larger over. I much prefer my own home for watching films now. I think I've seen about 8 films in theaters in the past 5 years.

Jaymole

I usually perform a satanic ritual before going to the theater where I ask the dark lord that no Adam Sandler trailers be shown before the film.

Deftones

i usually get there early to watch trailers and i usually sit about halfway to 3/4ths of the way up on the theater on the right side. always an aisle seat, too.

tasha99

I have a reoccurring conversation with concession stand people about how, no, I do not want one large popcorn, I want a small and whatever the other person wants. I'll buy one drink and share it, but for some reason, I pretty much have to be in a long term relationship to share popcorn. I don't even get a big tub when I go with my kids or my best friend. I think it's a "in my space all the time" issue, because I have a lot of those.

Other than that, I like to sit in a not too crowded theater and prefer an aisle. Don't care about the trailers so much, but I do like to sit through the credits.

astrochimp

Locate the emergency exits.

Bluelitespecial

If I go to a theater that isnt the Alamo Drafthouse, I lilke getting Taco Bell or Wendy's afterwards. I usually only go to late movies, the 9 Pm or later showings.

wlj

my ritual is being very excited. With 2 toddlers, it is a rarity that we go to the movies. I am certain I won't go back until Star Wars is out

Mr. Flix

I have a few rituals...

I immediately locate the middle-middle (center of the row halfway back), using measuring tape if necessary. I call this my Special Middle. If someone is already seated there, I sit in front of them, but turn around and give them a death glare until the trailers are over. If they talk to me, I growl.

During the movie, I take off my socks, put them on my hands, and use them as puppets to make MST3K-style jokes. Actually, only me and the left-hand sock do this. The right-hand sock shushes us, because it likes to watch the film in silence.

Halfway through the movie, I pretend to receive a call on my phone, and react as if a family member has just been in a horrible accident. I dramatically leave the theater, bawling loudly. I then return to my seat five minutes later with fresh popcorn and act as if nothing had happened.

Before the movie starts, I ask the nearest stranger if they think it's hot in here. I then take off my shirt.

I throw popcorn at the back of people's heads. If they turn around and glare at me, I blame it on a nearby empty seat and roll my eyes at such horrible behavior.

I hiccup loudly anytime an on-screen actor says the word "drink."

If there's a music montage, I must clap along to the beat. If the movie features audience applause, I join in.

I keep a handful of popcorn in my hand at all times. If there's a jump scare, I launch said popcorn into the air like confetti. If possible, I simultaneously fart.

mndtrp

Ditto, although I'm closer to 10 minutes early as I rarely see a movie on opening weekend.

Ash Ketchum

If any of this is true, I want to be there when it happens. Sounds more entertaining than most of the movies I see.

Tom Creo

Cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket, insert, ask date if she wants any.

RocShemp

Given that one of his movies acknowledged that he is the retarded offspring of Satan, you are attempting to appease the wrong deity.

JaxComet

I must get there early enough to sit in the very back row near the middle.

asianxcore

Depending on how far the theater is or if I'm going with someone, I try to show up about 30-35 minutes before.

Usually get Popcorn & a drink. Try to sit near the back in the middle seats.

Defiant1

I like to be seated 20-30 minutes before the movie starts, even if I have reserved seating. I like the extra time to soak it in and get mentally theatre-ready. I generally prefer upper centre seats but will sit closer to the front if it's a non-action movie. I usually don't get food but will graze off my friend's popcorn that she usually gets. I'll flip through the theatre's movie magazine and glance at the puff-piece articles. My theatre chain has an interactive game called Timeplay where you compete against others in the theatre. You play using your mobile phone and their app and you can win various prizes if you do well. This starts right before the trailers and I always play that. I actually just came in 1st place when I saw Mission: Impossible earlier today!

I've only gone to the washroom during a movie twice in my entire life. And unless there is a bonus scene, I don't stick around for the end credits. Sorry.

silentbob007

I used to be a back row person. With the proliferation of smart phones I've migrated to near the front of the non-floor seats to put as few jackasses as possible in my line of sight. I also generally avoid the middle since it is inherently more crowded. Oh, I also figure out at leas ttwo escape routes ... in case of Adam Sandler or Kevin James cameos.

Alan Smithee

You should be sorry- how do you even know there ISN'T a bonus scene at the end, unless you extensively research it beforehand which would waste more time than just sitting through the credits?

The best theater ritual I had was when I could be there after hours and thread the projector, hit Start, check to make sure everything's running perfectly and run down into the theater before the trailers ended for my own private show!

I hardly even go to theaters anymore these days, but when I do I always sit dead center with the best view of the screen- in the middle in a REAL theater, but near the back in a typical cracker-box built these days. I usually bring pen and paper so if the theater is showing commercials, I can write down who the advertisers were and contact them to let them know I don't do business with anybody who advertises in movie theaters. I'm usually the last person out of the theater, I used to be the first one in too but with the proliferation of advertising I can't stand to see too much of that, plus I usually go during the slower times so there's fewer people and less chance of the good seats being taken early. My belief is that a movie showing should leave you with the feeling "That was great, I need to go back to that theater really soon!" but more often than not I'm thinking "Why the hell did I waste my time and money on that small screen?"

Ash Ketchum

Well, RocShemp, do you feel any younger now?

Obi-Wanma

There are websites dedicated specifically to telling you whether or not there is anything after the credits of every movie. It doesn't exactly require extensive research.

Defiant1

Yeah like this very message board. And it's pretty much just Marvel and Pixar movies that do it.

RocShemp

I dunno man. Alan Smithee's post has a grumpy old fart vibe but you're the only poster to live during the time of the Magic Lantern shows so...

RocShemp

Was The Grey Marvel or Pixar?