Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Nick Martin · 11-02-09, 01:44 PM

http://whedonesque.com/comments/22240

And I quote:

Quote:

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma'ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Make of that what you will.

dan30oly · 11-02-09, 01:52 PM

awesome.

Dr. DVD · 11-02-09, 01:54 PM

If that's really Whedon, it's obvious he's doing it as a joke while cracking on the condition to which they have let the franchise sink.

Nick Martin · 11-02-09, 02:02 PM

It is Joss Whedon. He posts on that fan / news site Whedonesque along with some of his fellow writers like Tim Minear.

If only this was April 1st...

UAIOE · 11-02-09, 02:08 PM

I'll give him major props for the wit and satire.

devilshalo · 11-02-09, 02:12 PM

Yeah, let's count the number of successful films, he's done. Oh wait..

Groucho · 11-02-09, 02:13 PM

I haven't read that letter yet, but it is the GREATEST LETTER EVER WRITTEN.

Kal-El · 11-02-09, 02:48 PM

Regardless if it's true or not, he needs to be miles and miles away from ANY movie franchise except all his failed ones.

Solid Snake PAC · 11-02-09, 02:57 PM

What I never understood is why didn't anybody just buy from whomever owns it and just let Cameron run with it again when he could've been given the chance.

Does anyone know wtf Cameron thought of T3? God..that was an awful turd to see.

DRG · 11-02-09, 03:16 PM

I am a huge fan of both Buffy and Angel --two of my favorite shows ever -- but I didn't think that was remotely funny.

theflicker · 11-02-09, 03:19 PM

Not bad. I picture this rubbing fans of Sarah Connor Chronicles the wrong way.

Anubis2005X · 11-02-09, 03:25 PM

Shouldn't he be off trying to fix Dollhouse?

Groucho · 11-02-09, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anubis2005X

Shouldn't he be off trying to fix Dollhouse?

There are some things even Our Lord and Savior cannot do.

RyoHazuki · 11-02-09, 03:44 PM

I wonder why he even took the time to post that anywhere. It's painfully unfunny.

naitram · 11-02-09, 04:10 PM

dugan · 11-02-09, 04:23 PM

Sounds like he has something like this in mind:

JumpCutz · 11-02-09, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyoHazuki

I wonder why he even took the time to post that anywhere. It's painfully unfunny.

+1000

Numanoid · 11-03-09, 12:31 AM

The only thing I learned from that is that Joss Whedon posts while high.

Josh-da-man · 11-03-09, 04:16 AM

If there is one thing that Alien Resurrection taught us, it's that Joss Whedon shouldn't be allowed to play with other people's toys.

(Of course, I'm of the mind that the Terminator shouldn't have been franchised. The more sequels that come out, the more glaring the flaws of the initial concept become.)

KillerCannibal · 11-03-09, 11:37 AM

Meh. Wasn't that funny.

Sean O'Hara · 11-03-09, 11:56 AM

Sci-fi authors Brenda Clough and Ryk Spoor have talked about doing a book called Terminators of Endearment (to be followed by Pride and Extreme Prejudice, of course). A much better idea than anything in Whedon's article.

Hokeyboy · 11-03-09, 11:56 AM

Dear Mr. Whedon:

AnonomusBob15 · 11-03-09, 11:57 AM

he forgot to credit himself for Alien: Resurrection. They should know this.

Hokeyboy · 11-03-09, 11:58 AM

Every crappy line/script Whedon ever wrote was someone else's fault.

UAIOE · 11-03-09, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josh-da-man

If there is one thing that Alien Resurrection taught us, it's that Joss Whedon shouldn't be allowed to play with other people's toys.

I thought he just found some fan fiction on GeoCities and submitted that for a script.

11-02-09, 01:52 PM	#2
dan30oly DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,342	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... awesome. __________________ BlueRae-DVD own: 177 (+ 68 on order) Former HD-DVD supporter own: 155 HD-DVD R.I.P. 1/4/08

11-02-09, 01:54 PM	#3
Dr. DVD DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 12,760	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... If that's really Whedon, it's obvious he's doing it as a joke while cracking on the condition to which they have let the franchise sink. __________________ “The time will come, the election will come, when your work and your ballots will change the world, and it’s worth fighting for,” -John Kerry's concession speech

11-02-09, 02:02 PM	#4
Nick Martin DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 2,070	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... It is Joss Whedon. He posts on that fan / news site Whedonesque along with some of his fellow writers like Tim Minear. If only this was April 1st...

11-02-09, 02:08 PM	#5
UAIOE DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: LV-426 Posts: 5,561	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... I'll give him major props for the wit and satire. __________________ Coilette: Congo Jack! Fry: Yes. And I have a message for you from Colonel Mitumbay! He says....this is from Congo Jack!

11-02-09, 02:12 PM	#6
devilshalo DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Somewhere between Heaven and Hell Posts: 19,645	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Yeah, let's count the number of successful films, he's done. Oh wait.. __________________ I get paid to talk. I don't have an M.D. or Law Degree. I have a bachelors in kickin' ass and taking names. You know that guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him... on crack. - Nick Naylor XBox Live Gamertag: DevHalo

11-02-09, 02:13 PM	#7
Groucho DVD Talk Hero Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: Salt Lake City, Utah Posts: 46,742	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... I haven't read that letter yet, but it is the GREATEST LETTER EVER WRITTEN. __________________ Panda Killers? Xbox Live: Runner Groucho PSN: RunnerGroucho

11-02-09, 02:48 PM	#8
Kal-El DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Fortress of Solitude Posts: 6,001	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Regardless if it's true or not, he needs to be miles and miles away from ANY movie franchise except all his failed ones. __________________ Vader was framed.

11-02-09, 02:57 PM	#9
Solid Snake PAC DVD Talk Platinum Edition Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Denton, Tx Posts: 3,220	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... What I never understood is why didn't anybody just buy from whomever owns it and just let Cameron run with it again when he could've been given the chance. Does anyone know wtf Cameron thought of T3? God..that was an awful turd to see.

11-02-09, 03:16 PM	#10
DRG DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: ND Posts: 9,629	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... I am a huge fan of both Buffy and Angel --two of my favorite shows ever -- but I didn't think that was remotely funny.

11-02-09, 03:19 PM	#11
theflicker Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Connekatakut Posts: 541	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Not bad. I picture this rubbing fans of Sarah Connor Chronicles the wrong way.

11-02-09, 03:25 PM	#12
Anubis2005X DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,513	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Shouldn't he be off trying to fix Dollhouse?

11-02-09, 03:44 PM	#14
RyoHazuki DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Phoenix Posts: 7,797	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... I wonder why he even took the time to post that anywhere. It's painfully unfunny. __________________ When in Rome, go back home and get real dome from a well known crack gnome. Xbox Live: CookinBooks

11-02-09, 04:10 PM	#15
naitram DVD Talk Gold Edition Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: I'm already there. Posts: 2,206	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... hack

11-02-09, 04:23 PM	#16
dugan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 418	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Sounds like he has something like this in mind:

11-03-09, 12:31 AM	#18
Numanoid DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Down in 'The Park' Posts: 21,350	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... The only thing I learned from that is that Joss Whedon posts while high.

11-03-09, 11:37 AM	#20
KillerCannibal DVD Talk Hall of Fame Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 7,531	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Meh. Wasn't that funny. __________________ Top 10 most-wanted BD titles:Blue Velvet/Once Upon A Time in the West/Jaws/Boogie Nights/Prince of Darkness/Videodrome/Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla ('74)/Beyond the Valley of the Dolls/Phantasm/Death Wish October Horror Movie Challenge 2009

11-03-09, 04:16 AM	#19
Josh-da-man DVD Talk Legend Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Bible Belt Posts: 10,328	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... If there is one thing that Alien Resurrection taught us, it's that Joss Whedon shouldn't be allowed to play with other people's toys. (Of course, I'm of the mind that the Terminator shouldn't have been franchised. The more sequels that come out, the more glaring the flaws of the initial concept become.) __________________ "Hell is other people." -- Jean-Paul Sartre

11-03-09, 11:56 AM	#21
Sean O'Hara DVD Talk Platinum Edition Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Gitmo Nation Central Administrative Zone Posts: 3,840	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Sci-fi authors Brenda Clough and Ryk Spoor have talked about doing a book called Terminators of Endearment (to be followed by Pride and Extreme Prejudice, of course). A much better idea than anything in Whedon's article. __________________ My Blog Librivox Short Story Collection 34 with my reading of Jack London's "War" Les Miserables Volume 1 with my reading of "Four and Four"

11-03-09, 11:56 AM	#22
Hokeyboy DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL Posts: 6,116	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Dear Mr. Whedon: __________________ This guy of all people. Hokeyboy, one of the most ignorant, thoughtless posters I've seen on here. I've seen your act and it isn't good. -- bootsy Hokeyboy is like, the biggest douche of the year! -- gglass4269 He's probably a very well paid anticop douche, thank you very much. -- CaptainMarvel

11-03-09, 11:57 AM	#23
AnonomusBob15 DVD Talk Special Edition Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Auburn University Posts: 1,490	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... he forgot to credit himself for Alien: Resurrection. They should know this. __________________ DVD Collection

11-03-09, 11:58 AM	#24
Hokeyboy DVD Talk Limited Edition Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL Posts: 6,116	Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise... Every crappy line/script Whedon ever wrote was someone else's fault. __________________ This guy of all people. Hokeyboy, one of the most ignorant, thoughtless posters I've seen on here. I've seen your act and it isn't good. -- bootsy Hokeyboy is like, the biggest douche of the year! -- gglass4269 He's probably a very well paid anticop douche, thank you very much. -- CaptainMarvel