KTIK

D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the going gets tough . . . the tough get going. Who's with me? Let's Go! Come on! AAAAEEEEEGGGHHHH!!

SiberianLlama

I can't find the lines anywhere, but in Snatch, the Alan Ford rant about the pigs eating people and the Vinnie Jones rant about the **** and balls were both great.

gmal2003

Almost anything from Pulp Fiction

DonnachaOne

Not really 'rants', are they? They're not delivered with any anger, they don't seem spontaneous or anything. They're delivered in a calm, but firm manner, more to threaten and instill fear than to shock. They're more like speeches.

I was thinking of posting them, but I decided against it. Same reason why I didn't post the beginning of Hooper's speech/rant. But they are cool speeches, I'll give you that.

Gamblor187

"The cities are full of women, middle-aged widows, husbands dead, husbands who've spent their lives making fortunes, working and working. And then they die and leave their money to their wives, their silly wives. And what do the wives do, these useless women? You see them in the hotels, the best hotels, every day by the thousands, drinking the money, eating the money, losing the money at bridge, playing all day and all night, smelling of money, proud of their jewelry but of nothing else. Horrible, faded, fat, greedy women . . . Are they human or are they fat, wheezing animals, hmm? And what happens to animals when they get too fat and too old?" --Uncle Charlie (Joseph Cotten) in "Shadow Of A Doubt".

wordtoyamotha

Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Soccer style kicker, graduated from Collier High, June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds two NCAA division one records, one for points, one for distance, formally nicknamed"The Mule", the first and only pro athlete ever to come out of Collier county and one hell of a model American.

scroll2b

I think Pulp Fiction all the way. But remember that lovely rant from Lester Burnham in American Beauty was just ****ing great. I RULE!!!

Bobby Shalom

I don't think a rant needs anger. This one sort of shocked me vividly when I was a kid.

All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk *******, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

Robert

John Milton's rant against God in the Devil's Advocate

Shiv Shankly

A classic...Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Arthur: Old Woman!
Man: Man!
Arthur: Man, sorry.... What knight lives in that castle over there?
Man: I'm thirty-seven!
Arthur: (suprised) What?
Man: I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old--
Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man"...
Man: Well you could say "Dennis"--
Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis!
Man: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!
Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind, you looked--
Man: Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Arthur: Well I *am* king...
Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And 'ow'd you get that, eh? (he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart) By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress,--
Woman: Dennis! There's some lovely filth down 'ere! (noticing Arthur) Oh! 'Ow'd'ja do?
Arthur: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Woman: King of the 'oo?
Arthur: King of the Britons.
Woman: 'Oo are the Britons?
Arthur: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
Woman: I didn't know we 'ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
Man: (mad) You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again...
Man: That's what it's all about! If only people would--
Arthur: Please, *please*, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that castle?
Woman: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Woman: We don't have a lord!
Arthur: (spurised) What??
Man: I *told* you! We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We're taking turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--
Arthur: (uninterested) Yes...
Man: But all the decisions *of* that officer 'ave to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting--
Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!
Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!
Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--
Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I *order* you to be quiet!
Woman: "Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?
(holy music up)
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!
Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!!
Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!
Man: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: SHUT UP!
Man: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh? That's what I'm all about! Did you see 'im repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?!

Drexl

Another one from Griswold, this time from the first National Lampoon's Vacation film:

I think you're all ****ed in the head. We're ten hours from the ****ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something - this is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****ing fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our god**** smiles. You'll be whistling "Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah" out of your ***holes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!

The Bus

Larry Mann: There are people in this world, Bob, who look very official while they are doing what they are doing. And do you know why?

Bob Walker: Why?

Larry Mann: Because they don't know what they are doing. Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing... it comes naturally. Follow me? So now, do you know how you can tell the difference?

Bob Walker: No.

Larry Mann: The way you tell, is a little voice pops up in the back of your mind to tell you, "This guy, who is sitting before me, or she, is lying through his teeth and telling me stories." Now once you get that little piece of information, what do you do?

Bob Walker: Uh... Ah... I don't know.

Larry Mann: Here's what I would do... I would say, "Buddy, I've heard a lot of horseshit in my time and God knows I'm a salesman and we all have to wade through our share of the snow to get to the cabin... but you take the cake. I don't believe you have the first idea what you're talking about. Your children admire you, I'm sure, as we all hope they do. And maybe your wife doesn't know, but I know. And my knowledge forces me to call you on the fact that you are a Goddamned ********ING liar from the word GO!" And then I would sit down and finish my soup.

atimoc

Boondock Saints - courtroom scene

Conner MacManus : Now you will receive us.
Murphy MacManus : We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Conner : We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy : It is your corrupt we claim.
Conner : It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy : With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Conner : Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy : Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Conner : These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy : There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain.
Conner : For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy : And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

The Bus

Mitch Robbins: Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you're a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "What happened to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions?