spainlinx0

I shouldn't have read that spoiler for Jersey Girl. Damn I'm dumb. I will still probably see it because I like Kevin Smith, and I have nothing against Ben Affleck. I'm ambivalent on Lopez.

UAIOE

Divorced him 8 months after they were married



That "Turkey" scene sounds pretty bad....


but i guess its better than being told "sand is rough".

LiquidSky

I would rather have a tooth pulled than see this movie. I'm tired of J. Lo and Ben. They are media whores.

F For Fake

I was actually offered a free pass to see it...and I turned it down. That would mark the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE that I've turned down a movie. Such is my hatred for the Affleck.

Hokeyboy

Razor burn and ingrown hairs can make your face look like lumpy potato salad.

matome

Same here.

PalmerJoss

Jennifer Lopez was good in the movie Out of Sight before she became a big star and got a head bigger than her ass. Her acting skills are sub-par at best, and IMO she really isn't that hot. Her public persona doesn't help her at all either--she is a total media whore, and a mega-bitch as well. Read any of the accounts of people who have worked with her or work for her and they all say the same thing--she is a mega bitch with a huge ego. Those are the reasons I don't like her--not because it's trendy to do so. I myself refuse to watch a single thing she is in, and I plan on keeping that promise to myself even after Jersey Girl comes out even though I'm a huge Kevin Smith fan. I just can't bring myself to watch her in anything.

mwj

Me either.

HistoryProf

the first two blurbs on RT:

"Howlers abound but like Paul Verhoeven's 'Showgirls' the picture is never dull."

"Never have I seen such a disasterous film as this."

I can't wait for this to tank unmercilessly....i'm so friggin tired of both their no-talent asses.......Affleck can't act his way out of a wet paper bag, and JLo is just plain OVER. the Diva thing is so friggin tired....buh bye!!!!!!!!!

Daytripper

Bra-freakin-vo! Would love to see both of these no talents disappear forever. Hate both of them.

TomOpus

Nope.

Last month I went to a screening of Jersey Girl so I've hit my quota of Ben and Jennifer movies for the year.

Dr. DVD

Here are more review blurbs:

"Gigli attracts venom mostly for its cast: the mortal blunder of believing that either Affleck or Lopez has Brest's courage to look foolish, and nobility to fail with principle."
-- Walter Chaw, FILM FREAK CENTRAL
"Gigli pretends to be a sophisticated comedy of the sexes yet it’s written with the adolescent gusto of a fifty-year-old who’s finally discovered that a penis goes inside a vagina."
-- Ed Gonzalez, SLANT MAGAZINE

You know, they should actually put these blurbs in the TV spots and try to get people to see the movie with the "see how bad it really is" campaign.

UAIOE

Why?

This movie reeks of "see how bad it is when it appears on Cinemax".

Not interesting enough for a theater vist, not worth buying the DVD, and not worthy of a rental.


"Gobble, gobble, gobble" indeed.

funkyryno

Here's a funny blurb from a review:

-- By CHRISTY LEMIRE, AP Entertainment Writer

slop101

Here is a GREAT (fake) article on Gigli:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3929/gi...us_groups.html

HistoryProf

Best. Blurb. Ever.


and another just posted at RT (O for 6 so far....):

"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching Glitter."
-- Danny Minton, KBTV-NBC (BEAUMONT, TX)

grifter

Thanks for mentioning that, I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. My new best Onion article ever.

johnglass

Here's a real one, not too kind to the movie either. Warning: Spoilers

The 'Gigli' Is Up

'I was shocked," says "Good Morning America'''s Joel Siegel. "It's very bad storytelling."

"It's horrible," moans Roger Friedman of Foxnews.com. "The worst movie ever made."

And those two made it to the end of Monday night's screening of Ben Affleck (search) and Jennifer Lopez's (search) ultra-hyped "Gigli." More than one person walked out.

The buzz on Ben and Jen's first movie is so bad - think Madonna's "Swept Away" -- Revolution Studios even had trouble filling the L.A. premiere, giving seats usually reserved for stars to the fans waiting outside.

"It's definitely not a fastball down the middle," Revolution partner Tom Sherak admitted to The Post. "It's a curve ball."

So how to get people to see it?

"I think that our main point was always Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez," says Sherak.

Thus the trailers, the poster and endless promotion, which all have presented the movie as a gooey romantic comedy.

Turns out "Gigli" also contains stomach-churning violence and lots of gratuitous vulgarity. ("I counted Ben saying the F-word 15 times in the first 10 minutes!" Friedman says. )

Just so you know what you're getting yourself into, here's Pulse's guide to everything else you should know about "Gigli" that producers have been afraid to tell you.

1. It's pronounced "jee-lee."

Not "giggly" or "jiggly," despite what you might think of J.Lo's backside. Revolution considered calling it "Tough Love," but went back to "Gigli," the last name of Affleck's character.

"We knew people would make fun of it," Sherak says, "but we decided that would be a good thing because it would get people talking.

"Of course, you can make yourself believe anything in this business."

2. Yep, she's gay.

You'd never know it from the trailer, in which J.Lo tells Ben, "You're not my type."

But her character is in fact a lesbian - at least at the beginning of the movie. Later, she changes her mind and beds down with Ben (who pulled off the same feat in 1997's "Chasing Amy").

3. Al Pacino's role is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo.

Despite appearing in TV ads for "Gigli," Pacino is only on screen for about five minutes - a cameo he reportedly did as a favor to director Martin Brest, who directed his Oscar-winning role in 1992's "Scent of a Woman."

Even Christopher Walken - whom one critic dubs "the patron saint of bad movies" - shows up, delivering a rare bright spot, judging by the applause at Monday's screening.

4. Yes, they airbrushed the poster.

Page Six's report that the "Gigli" poster has been tinkered with to make J.Lo's butt look smaller and her breasts bigger wasn't entirely wrong.

"We didn't shrink her butt," says Sherak. "But in the original shot, her arm was alongside her body, blocking her curves. She didn't want people to think we were covering her up, so we manipulated it so her arm was on his shoulder."

5. What chemistry?

Affleck and Lopez allegedly fell in love while making "Gigli" - but any on-screen proof is dampened by clunky dialogue.

Monday's audience burst into laughter during the seduction scene, when J.Lo spreads her legs for Ben and says, "It's turkey time. Gobble-gobble."

Brest and the studio decided to emphasize the romance, after test audiences didn't like the film's ending, in which (spoiler alert: don't read the rest of this paragraph)

6. It's finally here!

"Gigli" was supposed to open earlier this summer, but Revolution bumped it so the couple would have more time to publicize it - which they've certainly been making the most of.

The release was then moved again, from today to Friday, out of fear of bad reviews.

"We knew some people would like the movie and some wouldn't," Sherak admits.

Asked whether he likes "Gigli," Sherak launches into a long answer about what "nice people" the stars are. "I like watching them banter on screen," he says, "because I'm looking at two people I know and like so much."

But what about the movie?

"Well," he says, "I can't think of a single movie that I liked all the way through, can you?"

PixyJunket

Leon.

Dr. DVD

They moved the date again? Dang! I was so looking forward to seeing this tonight if I hadn't decided on pulling out my fingernails instead.

RyoHazuki

Damn right.

ProjectMayhem

Read my signature. I thought this was hilarious.

Johnathon W. Hickman from Einsiders.com:

Well, about three fourths of the way through “Gigli” we get a visit from Al Pacino. Pacino plays Starkman, the only real gangster in the film (although others profess to be gangsters). In about 5 minutes, Pacino says what everyone has been thinking for well over an hour, the story of “Gigli” is dumb, plain and simple, dumb. Never have I seen a film in which one of the characters actually criticizes the storyline within the film itself articulating what is wrong with story so well. Was Pacino adlibbing or were his lines actually in the screenplay? Don’t waste your time worrying about it, and don’t waste any money or time going to see “Gigli.” It is one of the worst films I have seen in a long time.

Sparrow

Not really, but I always catch her movies on TV and like most to some extent...so I'll watch this one too, just not in the theatre.

Dr. DVD

A bump so that more bashing may occur!

PixyJunket

Wow.. so there's at least 3 people with Gigli related quibbles in their sigs.. let's get some more on board.