Post Your Original Poetry
04-29-01, 01:35 AM
#1
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I think this will be fun...I have hundreds to share at some point. Share yours and if you want constructive criticism then make a note of that. If not we'll enjoy!
Warmth
Rain drops are trickling down from
my gutter up above.
I guess that the leaves have
clogged the drains. Making this
all the more useless.
It wasn't quite made clear to
me why you were trying to leave.
The door just clicked as the
rain was coming down and
it couldn't have stopped for you.
If it could have stopped
you might have seen me calling
after you. The night was
coming and I didn't want to
be the one left alone tonight.
Tonight it seemed funny to be alone
because the bed is so large, I
guess you notice the strangest things
when lonliness is your companion.
Still it didn't matter--I stayed on my side.
The other side of the bed seemed cold
and I knew you wouldn't come
because I was growing just as cold.
Before you always relied on
cuddling with me to warm you.
Seems a little ironic that you
needed me to warm you. As the
only thing I remember you saying
was that I was to cold for
any of your words to describe.
Descriptions with words cannot bear
any true meaning. It is simply
ridiculous to think that your
mind can develop anything higher
than what my actions show.
It was my actions that showed me
how much I love you. Not
that you don't remember all
the times I would surprise
you with dinner out.
Now I find that I dine without you.
Sitting and staring at an empty
placemat that used to be
occupied with a plate of food for you. Of
course without many vegetables.
Most vegetables you were allergic to
and you'd get playfully upset when
I'd eat fries in front of you.
Telling me that I was cruel and
that I'd cry when you leave me.
The cry I have is a result of this rain
that won't stop flooding my heart,
I can't tell the difference between
the coldness of stone and
the warmth of the human body.
[go ahead and help me out with it if you want. What is good...what is bad...how can I develop it better?]
Warmth
Rain drops are trickling down from
my gutter up above.
I guess that the leaves have
clogged the drains. Making this
all the more useless.
It wasn't quite made clear to
me why you were trying to leave.
The door just clicked as the
rain was coming down and
it couldn't have stopped for you.
If it could have stopped
you might have seen me calling
after you. The night was
coming and I didn't want to
be the one left alone tonight.
Tonight it seemed funny to be alone
because the bed is so large, I
guess you notice the strangest things
when lonliness is your companion.
Still it didn't matter--I stayed on my side.
The other side of the bed seemed cold
and I knew you wouldn't come
because I was growing just as cold.
Before you always relied on
cuddling with me to warm you.
Seems a little ironic that you
needed me to warm you. As the
only thing I remember you saying
was that I was to cold for
any of your words to describe.
Descriptions with words cannot bear
any true meaning. It is simply
ridiculous to think that your
mind can develop anything higher
than what my actions show.
It was my actions that showed me
how much I love you. Not
that you don't remember all
the times I would surprise
you with dinner out.
Now I find that I dine without you.
Sitting and staring at an empty
placemat that used to be
occupied with a plate of food for you. Of
course without many vegetables.
Most vegetables you were allergic to
and you'd get playfully upset when
I'd eat fries in front of you.
Telling me that I was cruel and
that I'd cry when you leave me.
The cry I have is a result of this rain
that won't stop flooding my heart,
I can't tell the difference between
the coldness of stone and
the warmth of the human body.
[go ahead and help me out with it if you want. What is good...what is bad...how can I develop it better?]
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dtown710 (02-01-24)
04-29-01, 05:12 PM
#2
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Location: Indianapolis, IN 46250
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Poems
I can't really post them here, but I have a bunch at http://www.motherlode.f2s.com under Casey Criswell.
