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Old 12-12-12, 09:12 PM
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Worst of the year 2012

Since we're doing top 10 lists, might as well do the worst movies of the year.

Number one with a bullet: Prometheus. Ridley Scott managed to completely ruin one of the great mysteries of the Alien franchise. Given his last few pictures, this shouldn't be a surprise, but it held so much promise. Fassbender is great, but his performance only serves to highlight how deficient the rest of the film is. I feel dumber for having watched it.

Dark Shadows: I love the original show, and this movie has practically nothing to do with it. Burton can't tell if he's making a comedy, a melodrama, or a horror film. Depp is thoroughly boring. Eva Green knows what kind of movie she's in and is fun to watch, but egads what a stinker.

Battleship: Peter Berg, why do you want to be Michael Bay? Even Michael Bay shouldn't want to be Michael Bay. Battleship is sub-moronic, with the worst dialogue I've heard all year, totally forgettable aliens, and not one interesting character.

Rock of Ages: I heard the stage musical was a lot of fun. Sadly, aside from Tom Cruise's performance of "Pour Some Sugar On Me", none of the fun translates to the film. The movie is leaden and neutered, a rock and roll film made safe for family audiences.

The Expendables 2: Big dumb action delivered with no panache by guys who are so old they should know better. Hearing Arnold say "I'll be back" so often that Bruce Willis has to shut him up is not clever. Stallone has completely flubbed his comeback with these two movies.

Savages: "I had orgasms. He had wargasms." That is an actual line of dialogue from this film. A bunch of vapid narcissists shouting at each other for two hours is not my idea of a good time. Try again, Oliver Stone, because this may be the worst film you've ever made.

Pitch Perfect: A really sharp first third with a lot of promise is completely ruined by the latter two thirds of the film where the writers forgot that jokes were meant to be funny, and that movies can in fact defy conventions if they want to. Plus the singing is super fucking obnoxious.

Last edited by Supermallet; 12-12-12 at 10:22 PM.
Old 12-12-12, 09:15 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

The Avengers: A great cast, a classic TV series on which to base the adventure and some rather beautiful production design, The Avengers looked, on paper, to have it all. Shame that the arch dialogue collapsed, the jokes fizzled and the villain conferred with a table full of giant teddy bears. A hilarious misfire, that seems to have misunderstood the very property it purports to be based on. Ms. Peel was hilariously overplayed by one ScarJo.
Old 12-12-12, 09:17 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012



Well, this is off to a great start.
Old 12-12-12, 09:18 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Playing for Keeps - Terrible all around. Subplots that go nowhere. An ending that makes Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty look 100% realistic. Then a "during the credits" extra ending that adds insult to injury. Chris Columbus would have pissed on this script if it were handed to him.

Almost as bad:

The Campaign - Even if this had came out in 2004, Will Ferell would have been pushing his luck. Any episode where Leslie Knope campaigns in P&R is infinitely better than this.

The Cold Light of Day - Convoluted mess. Between The Immortals and this, Cavill better be good in Man of Steel.

Wrath of the Titans - I foolishly thought that despite Clash being terrible, that the world that was created could lend itself to some interesting stories. I was wrong.

This Means War - Poor Tom Hardy.

Last edited by bluetoast; 12-12-12 at 09:25 PM.
Old 12-12-12, 09:35 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Get back in the kitchen, you ****s!
Old 12-12-12, 09:41 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Killing Them Softly
The Citadel

I rather enjoyed The Expendables 2 and Playing For Keeps What was the extended scene at the credits of Playing For Keeps?
Old 12-12-12, 09:45 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Playing For Keeps - hands down. Saw it at a free screening but should have stayed home for a nap.
Old 12-12-12, 09:46 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Damn Deb, I thought you'd have felt the same way despite your interest in it beforehand.

The scene I meant was

Spoiler:
When he magically lands a job with his friend from the beginning of the movie. So, not only does he leave his dream job and gets back with his ex and his son, the whole problem of not having a job is magically solved too. Hey, he gets everything with none of the disadvantages!
Old 12-12-12, 09:48 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by bluetoast
This Means War - Poor Tom Hardy.
Maybe, but I get the impression he's not having that bad a year
Old 12-12-12, 09:55 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

The Vow
Old 12-12-12, 09:56 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

The Apparition
Old 12-12-12, 10:07 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Thanks for reminding me of Battleship. Simply ATROCIOUS.
Old 12-12-12, 10:45 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

I rarely find movies that I actively dislike, but the major disappointments would be The Amazing Spider-Man and John Carter.

Movies that weren't particularly bad but letdowns would include Bourne Legacy and Total Recall.
Old 12-12-12, 10:46 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

House at the End of the Street:
- A thriller that treated it's audience like idiots, cliches aplenty and just utterly vapid inane plot.

Hotel Transylvania:
- the character and voice acting of 'Jonathan' (by Samberg) was the only thing remotely decent, but otherwise a paint by numbers animated film strictly for the kids, much of the humor just fell flat on it's face.

Step Up Revolution:
- it became quite obvious that the fillmakers did not watch 'Step Up 3' and saw how to implement 3D to maximum effect - sloppy cinematography, bad editing, bad acting (but that's no surprise).

The Watch
- for such a cast of funny actors it was very unfunny, this was an utter waste of time and effort for everyone involved.

Rock of Ages:
- Just because Shankman did a boffo job on 'Hairspray' does not mean he can translate this musical to box office gold - the memo to the cast to not take this seriously and just have fun with their characters went unnoticed. The dancing looking tired. The retooling of the story is an insult to anyone who fell in love with the stage version.

Chimpanzee:
- Tell someone at Disney, just because you want to add some semi-famous name to narrate a doc-animal feature is a good thing - think again. Tim Allen ruins the film by talking down to his audience like 6-year olds, and has to narrate everything that is depicted on screen, as if we are blind and need audio description. Great cinematography marred by a truly hideous narration track.

The Man on the Ledge:
- a movie that got dumber and dumber as the plot progressed. The ending was mind-numbing bad.

Bourne Legacy:
- a movie that seemed to be patchworked by incompetent film makers. A movie in search of a plot, logic and plausibility. The first 30 minutes was tortureous (sp)
Old 12-12-12, 11:13 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by bluetoast
Damn Deb, I thought you'd have felt the same way despite your interest in it beforehand.

The scene I meant was

Spoiler:
When he magically lands a job with his friend from the beginning of the movie. So, not only does he leave his dream job and gets back with his ex and his son, the whole problem of not having a job is magically solved too. Hey, he gets everything with none of the disadvantages!
As I mentioned in the thread, I didn't go in to watch a movie, I went in to watch Gerard Butler for two hours, and it delivered The one part that still bugs me about that movie is
Spoiler:
nothing ever happens to him after he embezzles the team's money! Not even mentioned again.
Old 12-12-12, 11:27 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by GatorDeb
As I mentioned in the thread, I didn't go in to watch a movie, I went in to watch Gerard Butler for two hours, and it delivered The one part that still bugs me about that movie is
Spoiler:
nothing ever happens to him after he embezzles the team's money! Not even mentioned again.
I was thinking that

Spoiler:

At first yeah I thought it was the team's funds, but later after learning about Quaid's character, that it was a bribe all along. Either way it was kind of unethical?

Old 12-12-12, 11:44 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by bluetoast
I was thinking that

Spoiler:

At first yeah I thought it was the team's funds, but later after learning about Quaid's character, that it was a bribe all along. Either way it was kind of unethical?

Spoiler:
Well yeah definitely a bribe but the intended purpose was definitely for the team. Very weird it was never mentioned.
Old 12-12-12, 11:45 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by GatorDeb
Spoiler:
Well yeah definitely a bribe but the intended purpose was definitely for the team. Very weird it was never mentioned.
Also

Spoiler:
Did you think it was weird that Quaid randomly left the movie for like 45 minutes?
Old 12-12-12, 11:47 PM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Red Dawn but Red Tails was pretty horrible as well.
Old 12-13-12, 02:58 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

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Old 12-13-12, 06:03 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Good expectations, but bad results:
Cloud Atlas
Premium Rush
John Carter
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I thought these would suck, and I was right:
Total Recall
Snow White & The Huntsman
The Watch
The Campaign
Old 12-13-12, 06:16 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

chernobyl diaries
project x
gone
piranha 3dd
the devil inside
battleship
the dictator
atm
lola versus
wrong turn 5: bloodlines
silent night
the campaign
Old 12-13-12, 07:45 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by TheySentYou
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This movie was awesome.
Old 12-13-12, 08:08 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by IIG
Good expectations, but bad results:
Cloud Atlas
Premium Rush
John Carter
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Shhhhh be very careful.
Old 12-13-12, 08:34 AM
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Re: Worst of the year 2012

Originally Posted by PenguinJoe
This movie was awesome.
Yes it was.

I didn't see a whole lot of movies that I really didn't like this year, Prometheus wasn't good but it didn't bore me, TDKR was disappointing but still good, The Avengers didn't live up to the hype but I didn't hate it.

So I think Dark Shadows which had a ton of potential but wound up being boring and The Do-Deca-Pentathlon which also had potential but forgot the whole giving-a-damn aspect of a movie (snoozer).


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