Yesterday, Wuhan Zoo Monkey caretaker Zhang Bangsheng unbelievably used his tongue to lick a small monkey’s butt!
50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng used warm water to clean a small Francois’ Leaf Monkey’s buttocks, then began using his mouth to lick it, not stopping for over an hour, until the little monkey defecated a single peanut. Only after the peanut was defecated did Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.
As it is understood, this small Francois’ langur is only 3 months old, and is the first Francois’ Leaf Monkey to be born in nearly 10 years at this animal park. The Francois’ langur is a rare primate from Guangxi and Guizhou and is amongst the nation’s most protected animals. Because it is so precious, the zoo gave it to model worker and high-level expert Zhang Bangsheng to care for and raise.
On the first day of the “May 1st” short holiday, Zhang Bangsheng let the small Francois langur enter the monkey exhibit for the first time to meet visitors so it can see more of the world. The next day, Old Zhang discovered that the little monkey had indigestion and difficulty defecating, and immediately became worried. Seeing peanut shells on the ground, Old Zhang immediately understood that visitors had definitely tossed peanuts to the small monkey, and the toothless monkey swallowed the peanut whole. If it does not quickly defecate it, it would endanger the little monkey’s life.
Because the monkey is too small, it wasn’t suitable to use medicine to let it defecate. The only way was to lick its butt, to prompt it to defecate the peanut, and so the scene at the start of this article occurred.
Assuming that monkey physiology is similar to human physiology with regard to shitting (a reasonable assumption, I think), I have no idea why licking a monkey's ass would make him poop. A suppository would seem to be a much better solution. If the caretaker was dead set on being more 'directly' involved he could just stick a finger in there, which might also help. I don't see how tossing his salad is going to accomplish anything though.
Kmical
05-02-12, 02:25 PM
Assuming that monkey physiology is similar to human physiology with regard to shitting (a reasonable assumption, I think), I have no idea why licking a monkey's ass would make him poop. A suppository would seem to be a much better solution. If the caretaker was dead set on being more 'directly' involved he could just stick a finger in there, which might also help. I don't see how tossing his salad is going to accomplish anything though.
It might accomplish something for the <strike>sick bastard handling the animals</strike> caretaker. :eyebrow:
foxdvd
05-02-12, 02:32 PM
If I knew tossing salad was like playing russian roulette all these years...I might have been more careful. Luckily it takes a solid hour of licking before the butt turns into a peanut pez dispenser....
SkullOrchard
05-02-12, 02:45 PM
A similar thing happened to me once with this girl I was dating, but I'd rather not talk about it. That girl sure loved her Payday bars...
DirkUSA
05-02-12, 02:46 PM
A similar thing happened to me once with this girl I was dating, but I'd rather not talk about it.
TOO LATE!
-popcorn-
clckworang
05-02-12, 03:01 PM
Assuming that monkey physiology is similar to human physiology with regard to shitting (a reasonable assumption, I think), I have no idea why licking a monkey's ass would make him poop. A suppository would seem to be a much better solution. If the caretaker was dead set on being more 'directly' involved he could just stick a finger in there, which might also help. I don't see how tossing his salad is going to accomplish anything though.
This pretty much sums up my thoughts while reading the article. I had never heard that a good butt licking could help cure constipation.
GMan2819
05-02-12, 03:07 PM
Assuming that monkey physiology is similar to human physiology with regard to shitting (a reasonable assumption, I think), I have no idea why licking a monkey's ass would make him poop. A suppository would seem to be a much better solution. If the caretaker was dead set on being more 'directly' involved he could just stick a finger in there, which might also help. I don't see how tossing his salad is going to accomplish anything though.
Maybe you need a demo. I'm sure mhg83 would be more than happy to help you out.
DirkUSA
05-02-12, 03:39 PM
Maybe you need a demo. I'm sure mhg83 would be more than happy to help you out.
:yack:
Ky-Fi
05-02-12, 03:45 PM
Assuming that monkey physiology is similar to human physiology with regard to shitting (a reasonable assumption, I think), I have no idea why licking a monkey's ass would make him poop. A suppository would seem to be a much better solution. If the caretaker was dead set on being more 'directly' involved he could just stick a finger in there, which might also help. I don't see how tossing his salad is going to accomplish anything though.
Fortunately for the monkey, Zhang Bangsheng didn't have your negative attitude.-ohbfrank-
Save Ferris
05-02-12, 03:54 PM
The Zoo semen collector was better
Last week, the Singapore Zoological Gardens announced that they were setting up a bank containing sperm samples of all the wildlife under their supervision. At the same time, zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang won a competition for "Worst Job in Singapore".
Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.
The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang's, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm.
Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.
"I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first. "As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.
Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr. Binatang emerged again.
Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty . . ."
Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.
"Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.
Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.
"They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.
Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.
"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing . . . sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."
"As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."
How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.
"It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex."
kvrdave
05-02-12, 03:58 PM
"But you lick one monkey's ass......"
NORML54601
05-02-12, 04:13 PM
Was it normal tasting monkey butt?
BuddyRevell
05-02-12, 04:22 PM
This reminds me of the "Brutus" sketch from SNL.
mhg83
05-02-12, 04:22 PM
The Zoo semen collector was better
That has to be from the onion right?
Shoveler
05-02-12, 04:45 PM
Now we know the next book in the "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" series!
And, chances are, if you give a toothless monkey a peanut... he'll want an hour long ass licking to go along with it!
Heat
05-02-12, 09:32 PM
It would be worse if the zookeeper ate the peanut.
http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/4205/zookeeperk.jpg
Giantrobo
05-03-12, 12:03 AM
Wtf?!
Vibiana
05-03-12, 07:24 AM
I'm still pissed that nobody "got" my Ma Boggs reference. However, I feel compelled to state that mother cats do this with newborn kittens to stimulate the first evacuation of the bowels. Just sayin'.
Josh-da-man
05-03-12, 11:01 AM
Is that in the job description?
"Oh, and by the way, Zhang, sometimes you'll have to suck peanuts out of monkey's assholes. Doesn't happen often, but just thought I'd give you a heads up."
KillerCannibal
05-03-12, 11:56 AM
Was it normal tasting monkey butt?
Thankfully, they have tiny douche stations around the zoo for these things.
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