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View Full Version : Wife sent my Criterion back to Blockbuster


Mabuse
02-15-12, 04:05 PM
My wife put my CC Complete Jean Vigo DVD in the envelope and mailed it back to Blockbuster by mistake. Hey, they got some of the masterpieces of French cinema but we got to keep Taylor Lautner in Abduction.

What punishment befits my wench?

Giles
02-15-12, 04:18 PM
http://www.pbpulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/bodysnatchers1.jpg
"I cast thee out...!"

Pizza
02-15-12, 04:43 PM
Crap. That sucks.
No DVDs for a week.

critterdvd
02-15-12, 04:51 PM
Blockbuster will send you back the disc and ask that you send the one you kept back to them. My neice has done this at least twice in the last couple of years...

Shannon Nutt
02-15-12, 05:28 PM
Burn her!

davidh777
02-15-12, 05:34 PM
I'd suggest making her watch Abduction but it was probably her choice? Make her spend a soul-sucking Friday evening in a physical Blockbuster outlet?

The Cow
02-15-12, 05:37 PM
Need pics of the wife to determine guilt level and punishment.

andicus
02-15-12, 05:44 PM
Need pics of the wife to determine guilt level and punishment.

Clearly.

Mabuse should really already know that.

Mabuse
02-15-12, 05:53 PM
I'd suggest making her watch Abduction but it was probably her choice? Hell yeah it was her choice. I'm not much of a fan of queer cinema;).

I was thinking her punishment should be that she has to watch L'Atalanta when I get my disc back. And she should probably blow me at some point before or after.

Al_Tahoe
02-16-12, 01:40 AM
I was thinking her punishment should be that she has to watch L'Atalanta...Is that the remake they shot in Georgia?

mike07
02-16-12, 12:24 PM
How the hell does someone send back the wrong disc? Was your Criterion disc in the player when your wife wanted to watch the rental disc? Then she just put the disc in the Blockbuster case, instead of the the real case while watching the rental DVD, which would most likely mean she left the rental DVD in the player when she was finished with it. That's the only reasonable excuse I could think of.

More details of this situation required.

Mabuse
02-16-12, 01:13 PM
How the hell does someone send back the wrong disc? 1. You have to be a dumb chick. They don't pay attention to every facet of movie watching like we do.

2. She wanted to mail back her lame shirtless Twilight nerdfest and the last she knew it was in the player, which is where she left it when she finished watching it. What she didn't know is that I had taken it out so that I could watch a good film. She just opened the DVD player, grabbed the disc without looking at it, and put it in the envelope. Genius!!!

3. My wife routinely opens the wrong end of the Blockbuster envelope. Then it can't be sealed up and I have to tape it shut to mail it back.

majorjoe23
02-16-12, 01:52 PM
You mean ex-wife?

The Lizard King
02-16-12, 03:34 PM
I hope that the sex is good...

TLK :cool:

Maxflier
02-16-12, 03:46 PM
Off with her head!

Ropes Pierre
02-17-12, 12:00 PM
Hell yeah it was her choice. I'm not much of a fan of queer cinema;).

I was thinking her punishment should be that she has to watch L'Atalanta when I get my disc back. And she should probably blow me at some point before AND during AND after.

fixed.

mmyersisgod
02-20-12, 04:00 AM
Hell yeah it was her choice. I'm not much of a fan of queer cinema;).
First of all, I find that incredibly offensive. Second of all I am willing to bet 99 percent of the idiots in this thread have not seen Abduction and are just hating on it because every other straight guy does too. Grow up.

davidh777
02-20-12, 11:16 AM
I'm not hating on it because other straight guys do; I'm just hating on it because it had Taylor Lautner :)

Mabuse
02-22-12, 02:10 PM
First of all, I find that incredibly offensive. Second of all I am willing to bet 99 percent of the idiots in this thread have not seen Abduction and are just hating on it because every other straight guy does too. Grow up.It's called comedy. Most of my posts contain some. Do you think I actively go around persecuting gay people? Do you think I single handedly create bariers to their well being? Yeah I'm the homophobic devil. Please lay all the blame at my feet if it makes you feel better maybe then you can move on and do something constructive with your life rather than call people out for making a wink-wink joke.

I'm complaining that my wife lost my Jean Vigo blu ray for god's sake.

Trevor
02-22-12, 03:51 PM
It's called comedy. Most of my posts contain some.
I needed a good laugh and just spent an hour reading your old posts. I want my time back. I make $30 an hour. Send me that Criterion when you get it back and we'll call it even.

Just kidding of course. If your last post was on Facebook I would have 'liked' it.

Ash Ketchum
02-22-12, 04:16 PM
First of all, I find that incredibly offensive. Second of all I am willing to bet 99 percent of the idiots in this thread have not seen Abduction and are just hating on it because every other straight guy does too. Grow up.

As opposed to the 1 percent of "the idiots on this thread" who have seen it and hate on it because it sucks?

I would argue that the bigger idiots are the ones who wasted their time by going to see it.

"We are the 99%!"

Gobear
02-22-12, 04:36 PM
It's called comedy. Most of my posts contain some. Do you think I actively go around persecuting gay people? Do you think I single handedly create bariers to their well being? Yeah I'm the homophobic devil. Please lay all the blame at my feet if it makes you feel better maybe then you can move on and do something constructive with your life rather than call people out for making a wink-wink joke.


Yeah, the comment was kinda homophobic, but to be fair, Taylor Lautner can't act.


I'm complaining that my wife lost my Jean Vigo blu ray for god's sake.

Yeah, that bites, but the "dumb chick" comments in this thread are unnecessarily misogynist.

FM
02-23-12, 09:13 AM
Yeah, the comment was kinda homophobic, but to be fair, Taylor Lautner can't act.



Yeah, that bites, but the "dumb chick" comments in this thread are unnecessarily misogynist.

Misogynism is accepted here. I've repeatedly reported users calling women "****s", but no moderator has ever taken action.

Alan Smithee
02-23-12, 05:59 PM
"I've told him a thousand times, never call chicks 'broads'!"

d2cheer
03-01-12, 04:30 PM
Hell yeah it was her choice. I'm not much of a fan of queer cinema;).



http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/9373/taylorlautnergaypeoplem.jpg

-wink-

TheNightFlier
03-01-12, 06:19 PM
Looks like the PC police are out in this thread. I like the person trying to defend Abduction is well.

Abduction vs Jean Vigo. Yeah, there's an argument to be made :lol:

mmyersisgod
03-17-12, 11:43 PM
http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/9373/taylorlautnergaypeoplem.jpg

-wink-
It's fake...

Looks like the PC police are out in this thread. I like the person trying to defend Abduction is well.

Abduction vs Jean Vigo. Yeah, there's an argument to be made :lol:
Thank you for proving you are an idiot.

davidh777
03-18-12, 12:28 AM
I don't suppose the OP ever got his disc back

Mabuse
03-20-12, 05:25 PM
I sure didn't. Wife and Blockbuster are both retarded in this saga.

Funniest part: Blockbuster tells my wife (or she claims they told her) to put the homoerotica into any other Blockbuster return envelope. So I put it in with another DVD I was returning. 2 days latter an envelope comes with a sticker on it saying, "We are returning a disc that we believe belongs to you" and inside is the damn Taylor Lautner movie. They sent it back to us!

I'm sure I COULD HAVE got my Jean Vigo blu back, but I wasn't willing to burn any calories for my wife's fuck up, and she took too long to do too little and now it's way too late. She's buying me a new one at the next B&N sale.

Meanwhile I did ban her from handling the envelopes. She's not allowed to open them, seal them, or mail them.

arminius
03-20-12, 05:47 PM
I sure didn't. Wife and Blockbuster are both retarded in this saga.

Funniest part: Blockbuster tells my wife (or she claims they told her) to put the homoerotica into any other Blockbuster return envelope. So I put it in with another DVD I was returning. 2 days latter an envelope comes with a sticker on it saying, "We are returning a disc that we believe belongs to you" and inside is the damn Taylor Lautner movie. They sent it back to us!

I'm sure I COULD HAVE got my Jean Vigo blu back, but I wasn't willing to burn any calories for my wife's fuck up, and she took too long to do too little and now it's way too late. She's buying me a new one at the next B&N sale.

Meanwhile I did ban her from handling the envelopes. She's not allowed to open them, seal them, or mail them.

So her plan to slowly have you take over all the housework is working as planned.

Mabuse
03-20-12, 07:49 PM
Pretty much.

Here's another wife story. Last Sunday I had to change the bulb in our (oh who are we kidding? MY) Sony projector. It's a $2K plus piece of hardware, the bulb alone costs $130 bucks and my wife barely knows how to use the thing to watch TV (let's face it she can't even handle Blockbuster's "complicated" rental envelopes). Anyway, I'm changing the bulb, and the moment when you take the old bulb out and put in the new one is a very delicate moment because it's at this moment where the bulb could break and fuck everything up. So I say to her, "I'm coming up on a very delicate procedure here, could you stop talking and not bug me no matter what for the next 3 minutes." And she says "Sure", then pauses for a moment, looks at me with the projector down off the ceiling, metric socket wrenches, screwdrivers, and Sony manuals spread out all over the table and she says, "Do you want me to do it?"

I was flaberghasted. I just howled with laughter.

mike07
03-20-12, 08:09 PM
I'm sure I COULD HAVE got my Jean Vigo blu back, but I wasn't willing to burn any calories for my wife's fuck up, and she took too long to do too little and now it's way too late. She's buying me a new one at the next B&N sale.
Was it a Blu-ray or DVD?

My wife put my CC Complete Jean Vigo DVD in the envelope and mailed it back to Blockbuster by mistake. Hey, they got some of the masterpieces of French cinema but we got to keep Taylor Lautner in Abduction.

What punishment befits my wench?

civiclx
03-20-12, 08:15 PM
So her plan to slowly have you take over all the housework is working as planned.

rotfl

Mabuse
03-21-12, 11:41 AM
Was it a Blu-ray or DVD?

Blu ray

davidh777
03-21-12, 03:59 PM
Pretty much.

Here's another wife story. Last Sunday I had to change the bulb in our (oh who are we kidding? MY) Sony projector. It's a $2K plus piece of hardware, the bulb alone costs $130 bucks and my wife barely knows how to use the thing to watch TV (let's face it she can't even handle Blockbuster's "complicated" rental envelopes). Anyway, I'm changing the bulb, and the moment when you take the old bulb out and put in the new one is a very delicate moment because it's at this moment where the bulb could break and fuck everything up. So I say to her, "I'm coming up on a very delicate procedure here, could you stop talking and not bug me no matter what for the next 3 minutes." And she says "Sure", then pauses for a moment, looks at me with the projector down off the ceiling, metric socket wrenches, screwdrivers, and Sony manuals spread out all over the table and she says, "Do you want me to do it?"

I was flaberghasted. I just howled with laughter.

So did you have her do it?

Funniest part: Blockbuster tells my wife (or she claims they told her) to put the homoerotica into any other Blockbuster return envelope. So I put it in with another DVD I was returning. 2 days latter an envelope comes with a sticker on it saying, "We are returning a disc that we believe belongs to you" and inside is the damn Taylor Lautner movie. They sent it back to us!

rotfl

Ash Ketchum
03-21-12, 05:07 PM
Funniest part: Blockbuster tells my wife (or she claims they told her) to put the homoerotica into any other Blockbuster return envelope. So I put it in with another DVD I was returning. 2 days latter an envelope comes with a sticker on it saying, "We are returning a disc that we believe belongs to you" and inside is the damn Taylor Lautner movie. They sent it back to us!



No good deed goes unpunished.

SterlingBen
03-22-12, 05:54 AM
Pretty much.

Here's another wife story. Last Sunday I had to change the bulb in our (oh who are we kidding? MY) Sony projector. It's a $2K plus piece of hardware, the bulb alone costs $130 bucks and my wife barely knows how to use the thing to watch TV (let's face it she can't even handle Blockbuster's "complicated" rental envelopes). Anyway, I'm changing the bulb, and the moment when you take the old bulb out and put in the new one is a very delicate moment because it's at this moment where the bulb could break and fuck everything up. So I say to her, "I'm coming up on a very delicate procedure here, could you stop talking and not bug me no matter what for the next 3 minutes." And she says "Sure", then pauses for a moment, looks at me with the projector down off the ceiling, metric socket wrenches, screwdrivers, and Sony manuals spread out all over the table and she says, "Do you want me to do it?"

I was flaberghasted. I just howled with laughter.

She sounds secretly evil. Need pic to judge guiltiness.

Pizza
03-22-12, 06:43 AM
...and she says, "Do you want me to do it?"

I was flaberghasted. I just howled with laughter.
Though I understand the humor in the situation, I hope you didn't literally laugh in her face. You still have a relationship to maintain and it's little moments like this that can build up and become a boulder down the road. At least she was offering to help.

Filmscholar35
03-24-12, 04:58 PM
Oh My God! This whole thread has had me rolling with laughter!

That bit about the Lautner movie being the one they sent back was funny as all hell!!!


And that People "cover", LOLOLOLOL.....LOLOL....

davidh777
04-17-12, 01:57 PM
First thing I thought of was this thread :lol:

Today only, rent Abduction with Taylor Lautner for just $0.99.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51mA79vTNFL._AA160_.jpg
http://www.amazon.com/Abduction/dp/B006P4O5JM/

The Bus
04-18-12, 05:31 AM
And here I thought <b>Abduction</b> was a teen-safe, mainstream thriller. Little did I know that it apparently has extensive frot scenes.