Osiris3657

This was hit upon briefly in the Deals thread, but I think it's a topic that warrants its own thread.

Some questions worth considering:

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?
Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?
Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?
Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past? Has it changed in the present?

Kedrix

Ahhh, a very important question to me.

Traditionally, I have had shit for luck when it comes to my significant other even remotely appreciating my video games. In fact, in all my relationships except one, they wanted nothing to do with any of them even if it was a Mario game or Tetris.

The final straw was my first marriage where she proceeded to use video games as an argument device. Was I responsible in my life? 100%, did I ever neglect her or any chores? Not at all. Heck, I even put my games and systems on the crap television in a little bedroom just so I didn't have to hear it.

After I got divorced (for obvious reasons), I was never going to get seriously involved with a female unless she liked and actually played video games.

Fast forward to my second wife. 8 years my younger and had been playing World of Warcraft for 6 years up until a month ago. In addition, she thought my collection was neat and talks to me about games reguarly. We did play WoW for a while, but we also play a variety of other games including Lego, Rock Band, YDNJ, even board games. She will also watch me on playing certain other games. She's never gotten on to me about buying video games and only got on me about playing is when we need to go somewhere which I of course understand. And yes she is pretty and not living under a bridge when I met her.

I will admit that gaming girls are rare (but more common in the 18-30 age range), but they are out there. Don't settle...trust me, if gaming is something you like to do, make sure your significant other at least appreciates it and talks to you about it from time to time. If they don't, it will become a bone of contention at some point in your relationship. I found out the hard way. Now, I'm very happy with my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything.

covenant

1. My wife has no problem with it. She likes little casual games herself, and was playing them before I met her.
2. We play Rock Band together on occasion.
3. A pretty typical night: she's in one room playing bejeweled on her laptop and watching TV and I'm in the other playing Skyrim or what not. Of course, we're an old married couple so we enjoy our space.
4. My ex-wife didn't play video games and begrudged every second I spent on one. Major cause of problems but really only a symptom of bigger issues.

fumanstan

My girlfriend doesn't care if I play video games, since she knows its a big interest of mine. If there's a big new game that came out that i'm spending a lot of time on, she'll know that and let me have my time. As long as I don't spend hours and hours playing in a row and completely ignore her, it's not an issue. It also gives her time to do her own thing while I play.

She'll play some cute easy games with me like Lego Batman or Mario, but otherwise she's not interested. She plays little iPhone games, but that's about it.

C-Mart

I had thought it wasn't a big deal, and in most cases it doesn't seem to be. For example, I learned of GTA5 and SR3 and brought out GTA4 for a while before SR3 came out. She didn't seem to have a problem with it.

But then I get SR3 and start playing it, and every time she sees it she has to comment on how bad a game it is (violence, language, etc...) It didn't seem to bother her with GTA4, but for some reason this game gets to her.

She also regularly says that I can play my game, etc... but then she makes other comments that tell me she doesn't really like me playing it. I think she knows that I'll play for a month or so and get bored of it and then not play video games at all for a while, so she doesn't take steps to stop me (aside from the snide comments and general dislike for violence and vulgarity.)

gryffinmaster

Since we both work and get wiped out in the evenings, she doesn't mind at all. When she gets home, she likes to calm down, just hang out and relax with our pets after we get done with dinner. As long as we balance couch-bound time with going out and doing things over the weekend, and as long as we keep the house in shape, she's all for it. And, if the game's attractive like Elder Scrolls or Zelda or something, she gets into kicking back, watching, and enjoying the aesthetics and action.

Now, if she wants to watch something on TV, I know when to surrender the remote/controller and go do something else (or, you know, begrudgingly watch with her).

Yeah, she does, but she's not a gamer. She took to the co-op in Portal 2 like a champ, and we have a freakin' blast with dungeon crawlers (or anything where we get to collect loot). Castle Crashers, Baldur's Gate ... she loves that kind of stuff. And, naturally, she digs accessible Wii games like Banana Blitz, Big Brain Academy, Mario Party, etc.

Negative, but we've been together a long time. We both appreciate the time to do our own thing at this point in our lives. It's all about balance, no matter what point you're at, and as long as you keep up your "end of the bargain", you'll have plenty of time to sate your gaming habit.

slop101

My girlfriend doesn't care that I play videogames, she just has 2 general rules (she hasn't spelled them out like this or anything, it's just an agreed-upon understanding):

1. Don't play them while we're hanging out
2. Don't play them so much as to get in the way of other things

That second one's kind of vague, but it hasn't been a problem yet.

I have the same rules concerning her watching reality shows and rom-com movie bullshit - so it all balances out.

covenant

Your post reminded me when I was playing Sims 3. My wife looked over my shoulder one night to watch me play and saw my hot asian Sims wife. Needless to say it didn't go over very well. I guess I shouldn't have used my real last name for her.


Pauline Wan

superdeluxe

As long as it does not impact the daily life (Wife time, child time etc etc), she is fine with it.

Well she has zero interest in the xbox, so while I'm playing on it, sometimes she fires up zombies vs plants on the iphone.

Pretty much, after finish with activities we both enjoy or whatever..sometimes she will read/play her iphone games and I will play on the xbox. But I tend to get some gaming in the morning before I head to work (Waiting for my carpool)

I got more into games once I got in a long term commitment, spent more time at home. Before that I was always going out etc.

Kedrix

Haha. Seriously, my wife could care less. If she saw that, she would laugh her ass off. Then she would go create a character in Sims 3 that would be lesbian just to mess with me. As long as its virtual, and not actually with a real person, it's just a game to her or me. And I got too much of a good thing to want or need to go cheat.

lopper

My wife would probably rather I play less videogames, but she doesn't really care that much. She totally understands that it's my hobby and something that I like to do. And as long as I'm not a total bum and I help out around the house, then she's fine with it.

If I'm playing a game then she's usually working on a project in the garage or outside in her garden. But whenever she wants to hang out or watch tv together, the games go off.

We play the occasional game together. We used to play Rockband a lot when people came over, and more recently we played through the co-op portion of Portal 2. She loved Portal.

kefrank

My wife is fine with my general interest in video games, but she has virtually zero interest in playing them herself and does not particularly love it when I play them while she's around (see my other answers below for more detail).
She likes to play The Beatles: Rock Band with me on occasion. That's pretty much it.
It's not quite that limited, but close. The thing that bothers my wife is that being engrossed in a video game means I'm less responsive/attentive to her, which is mostly true so I don't fault her for that view. As such, I do my best to only play when she's not around, she's napping, or she's engrossed in something else herself and we have communicated about it so both of us have the right expectations. We're both pretty level-headed and rational, so like most things in marriage, if we communicate well it's a very workable issue.
I don't think it had much of an effect on my dating life in the past. I think my game-playing has changed somewhat since I've gotten married, but the reasons aren't strictly limited to my relationship. I just have more things going on that are higher priority, including my wife.

wlj

I am married with a 10 month old son. My gaming has decreased ALOT since my son was born.

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?

My wife is pretty understanding. I have always played video games and can't see myself ever stopping and she understands that. I definitely don't buy as many games as I used to. It is rare that I buy one new at full price. I will usually pick up one every once and a while used. I just got New Vegas for 12 bucks. I think I have only purchased 1 full priced game this year. This Fall is really painful for me with all of the spectacular titles out. I just don't have the time or disposable income to get all that I want. I do hope to get MW3 and Skyrim for Christmas.

Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?

My wife has very little interest. However, we will fire up the Kinect and play together from time to time. She prefers to read her novels.

Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?
I usually play games between 10-12am at night. The baby goes to sleep around 8pm. My wife and I will watch a movie or some TV. She then usually goes to bed or reads a book and I play. I can't complain too much. I would love to have more time, but I think the amount of time I have is fair.

Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past? Has it changed in the present?

nope

terrycloth

my last two exes were complete opposites in this subject,

lil about my gaming habits....I get urges to play videogames every so often (im actually in one now) where i just bought mw3 and a new controller. now bc of what time of year it is i wont go out and buy skyrmm even tho i really want to im just too busy with the holiday season and i know if im home playing a game for 5 hours the girl im dating will get ignored. last gaming i did was when dead space 2 came out and i played thru that and red dead redemption. before that was prolly mw2. I will never choose gaming over watching a movie or spending time with my significant other or friends but if your watching the view im not watching that crap im gonna play a couple rounds of mp in mw3.

now the last two exes

first one: LOVED gaming and while at first i enjoyed it bc its common ground when the relationship started to play some wii or co op gears, but after awhile sometimes i dont NEED to have you right next to me all the time if i want me time to sit down and play some games. i actually put the ps3 in the bedroom and 360 in the living room and it didnt help shes just follow...so i resorted to watching football and baseball to get rid of her. hell when there wasnt a game on id re watch one on my dvr. it sucked bc outside of the clingyness at home the relationship was great...we would go out and have no problem with guys and girls night out no jealousy what so ever but at home she needed my full attention.

girl two: HATED games and let me know about it whenever possible bc she felt it was time wasted (again i maybe play 5 hrs a week at this time) this also included watching my horror. yet she would throw a fit if i didnt watch her crap tv shows or movies with her...this relation lasted way to long

the girl im dated could careless as long as like many have said it doesnt affect our time together. once in awhile if my nieces are over playing a game she will join in but other then that she does her thing i do mine.

Decker

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?
Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?

I've been married almost 15 years. My wife puts up with me and all the games that seem to "pop up" around the house. She has zero interest in gaming (except for Dance Central which is on the family room Xbox w/Kinect -- she'll play that with the kids as I don't dance). She thinks it's one of my geeky expensive hobbies that I do that she has no interest in. Since we moved houses and built my "Man Cave" in the new place, it's been easier most of the time, though she prefers that room for watching her insufferable Housewives and House Hunter crap. If she watches in the family room or upstairs, we're usually pretty good. What's suffered since the move in April is watching TV shows together. Since the DVR is in the family room, and I'm rarely there, we haven't seen hardly any TV this year. No more 24, no more Lost, No Mad Men or Game of Thrones until 2012, no more Steve Carrell on The Office -- not really missing TV much.

Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?
Nope, but I'll usually check to make sure she's cool with my gaming before I start. I do play a lot after she goes to bed on nights she turns in early, though.

Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past?
Before we started dating, I was in medical school and video games were for kids, not grown-ups. Hard to imagine now, but during that time I never even considered video gaming. I think the Playstation she got me for a birthday present in the mid-90s changed everything...

ultimaton

My wife is a gamer too, so no problem there. My love of football has caused more "problems" between us then gaming ever has.

superdeluxe

Amen to that. She doesn't understand when the good Guys lOse I'm going to be pissy

ChrisHicks

To add to the question pool a bit. Did your gaming suddenly become an issue after you got married? Like as if it's fine to play games as a single guy but now that you're married you shouldn't be involved in such a "childish" thing.

Giantrobo

1. If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?

**My wife is cool with it. She'll even sit and watch me play.

2. Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?

**I think she'd play with me. So far the only thing I've played with her is that Gopher game on Blackberry. Someone suggested Men should never play games with you wife because one of you will bring Ego into it...ego should never be in relationships. Not sure how I feel about this...

3. Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?

**I play when she's gone and when she's here. When she's away I turn up the stereo louder while gaming.

4. Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past? Has it changed in the present?

**Never had a GF with any gaming issues. 1 or 2 even played with me (Wii only).

mattysemo247

I’ve only been married for 3 years, but we’ve been together for 10 years. She only plays a hand full of games, mostly on the Wii, but will occasionally play games like YDKJ and Scene It. It doesn’t bother her when I play because she knows I go in spurts. I can’t play a game for more than an hour or two at a time. Which is good enough for her because she likes to get her own downtime as well. Most of my game time comes in after the kid is asleep at night or early on the weekends before she wakes up.

As long as it’s a hobby and not an obsession, I think it’s pretty healthy for everyone. Just got to make sure you put the family and friends first. I know my biggest problem is spending money on games and then trying to find the time to play them anymore.

Michael Corvin

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?

Wife of 8 years doesn't care. Her prior ex was a big pot smoker, drinker and a fan of going out, getting blasted and passing out. Me staying home and playing some video games is obviously tame by comparison. It's a hobby and she views it as such. She works third shift so I usually get 3 nights a week to play anyway.

Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?

Zero interest. She'll sing an occasional Rock Band song, but only if she knows the song, which isn't often. Occasionally I wished she played, even a little, but she didn't grow up with them so that's fine.

Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?

I have two kids, so I try and not play when when they are up unless we're playing something together. I try and keep the "me" gaming to nights she's at work & kids are in bed, but if I'm nearing the end of a game, I might squeeze in some gaming during the day/evening, or say, Saturday morning. It's not often, so it's not an issue.

Pretty much. If you fall into this category and the significant other still has problems with it, then it will always be a problem. Might be best to look for a new girl.

Randy Miller III

My wife (like me) grew up w/ Atari 2600, Nintendo, etc. but didn't really play much after that (unlike me). She's still pretty good at games and will play occasionally, but mostly stuff like Mario Kart and party-type stuff. Since our daughter was born last year, though, we haven't played much. Hopefully, the li'l one will take up an interest in a few years.

C-Mart

This is my personal stance on gaming, etc... but this is where my wife tends to disconnect. I think she see's me having fun or laughing when I blow a ped's head off or something and even though she knows it is just fiction and that I would never do anything like that, she probably gets worried that I might enjoy this kind of thing too much and that it would affect me in real life.

nickdawgy

My wife plays WoW with me, and likes games like Final Fantasy and Dragon Age. So it's all good here.

orangecrush

To give context: I have been married for 8 years, my wife has always stayed home and we are expecting our 4th child very soon. She has very little interest in gaming, but she understands that it is important to me. We try to support each other's "things." She is into natural child birth-y stuff (which I don't care about) and I am into video games and flipping. She is mostly impressed with my flipping profits and really only cares that I am not neglecting our family and don't spend any money outside of my "blow" money.

I think that generally gamer is way down on the list of qualities to look for in a wife. The important things include:
Are you on the same page with kids and how you think a family should operate?
Are you on the same page in your worldview (religion, etc)?
Is she a selfless person in general?
What is her character?

When you are trying to make your wife happy, she is trying to make you happy and you aren't only looking out for your own selfish desires all the details will get worked out. You will get your gaming time and she will get to do what she wants and be satisfied.