Chad

Spiderbite

Um...well...I don't think I can be nice about this one. It is a snoozer. Can't sleep? Throw this one on and you will be sound asleep in less than 10 minutes.

I actually remember a friend and I rented this with a few girls back in high school around '89 but I didn't remember anything about the film. Now I know why. We likely talked (or made out) throughout the entire picture.

Dull story, cliche characters, entirely predictable and walking. Lots and lots of walking. A lot of talking too but even more walking. And walking. Here's a drinking game. Drink every time someone takes a 5 minute stroll. You will be visiting the Emergency Room in no time.

The only good thing I can say about this movie is a left puffy nipple and the creature. Luckily the better looking of the two girls in the movie decides to get naked but every time they show her naked, it is only the left puffy nipple. Interesting. I was glad her foreign friend (though her accent honestly sounded more like a deaf person) decided to keep her clothes on. She had a face and a voice that would make a train take a dirt road.

The creature was actually decent but guess what!?! The filmmakers thought it would make their movie more suspenseful if they don't show the creature at all until the final 10 minutes. Wrong! The creature (and the left puffy nipple) were the only things interesting about this turd of a movie and neither makes more than a 7 minute appearance in the entire film.

And the acting wasn't campy bad. It was just bad. Same goes for the dialogue. It is a sad day when the only excitement you receive from a horror film is seeing black stone washed jeans and Eastlands (and a left puffy nipple).

Fuck this movie. What...there's a sequel you say? ER, here I come!

My rating: 1/2 a star out of *****

Spiderbite

And by the way: The Netflix transfer is dark and horrible and is also presented 4:3 and looks probably as bad or worse than the worn VHS tape we rented over 20 years ago. Enjoy!

Spiderbite

Was this turd so bad that nobody here watched it? I was hoping to see a few other opinions at least.

terrycloth

i remember hating this one as a kid but dont remember anything from it. will prolly be watching it soon

Darkgod

I really don't know why this gets knocked down. It has a nice little charm in it to me, just a fun movie to watch and have fun with. If it is the terrible acting of the girls, or the overacting of the friend (who happens to know a lot about the Necronomicon). It had just the right ammount of cheese, and badness to make it good in My opinion. And that isn't because I picked it.

6/10