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View Full Version : Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Bay, 2009) — The Reviews Thread


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OldBoy
06-19-09, 04:26 PM
Please continue pre-hype discussion in this thread: http://forum.dvdtalk.com/movie-talk/512998-transformers-2-2009-news-rumors-castings-29.html

Movie:
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (2009) (Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Isabel Lucas, Josh Duhamel)

Release Date:
6/24/2009

Rating:
PG-13

Running Time:
147 min. (2h. 27m.)

Rotten Tomatoes Reviews:
Fresh:41 Rotten:172 (19% as of 7/14/09)
RT Link... (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_revenge_of_the_fallen/)

Info:
IMDb Link... (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1055369/)

Trailer:
<object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/8wrprSXsmmG8fkwV1zrQ_w"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/8wrprSXsmmG8fkwV1zrQ_w" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>

Poster Art:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/scott1598/Movie%20Posters/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen.jpg

OldBoy
06-19-09, 04:29 PM
opens late Tuesday night.

reviews coming in...not looking too good, but what can you expect from a bombastic Michael Bay movie?

the first one really grew on me with subsequent viewings. looking forward to the mindless action this is shaping up to be and will probably be able to see on Wed.

Dr Mabuse
06-19-09, 04:33 PM
"It’s like watching a blender for two hours while someone shouts at you. And then the last half an hour is the same, except it’s more like having your head strapped to a washing machine while you watch a blender and someone shouts at you."

:lol:

Supermallet
06-19-09, 05:49 PM
I can't say too much except the bad reviews are correct.

fumanstan
06-19-09, 06:02 PM
For reference, it looks like the first Transformers was a 57%.

vhgong
06-19-09, 06:25 PM
Who cares...all i want is transforming robots fighting. :D

Draven
06-19-09, 07:10 PM
Oh good. I was afraid this one might be better than the first. Looks like the shit streak continues!

Blu Man
06-19-09, 09:11 PM
I prefer more of the David Fincher, Christopher Nolan type of films as apose to blow 'em up action. But every movie has it's place.

Seantn
06-19-09, 11:30 PM
Who cares...all i want is transforming robots fighting. :D

If that's "all you want" then you'd probably love this:

http://blog.ftofani.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/transmorphers.jpg

and this:
http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/transmorphers2_large.jpg

Solid Snake
06-19-09, 11:36 PM
Blu, such a comment is preposterous...we'll always have films like this. It's easy to see that it's not TDK, it's a franchise pic based on a cartoon that was spawned out of some toys. It's a live action cartoon toy promotion....

Supermallet
06-20-09, 04:24 AM
I've actually got Transmorphers on my Nextflix queue. :lol:

OldBoy
06-20-09, 12:34 PM
I've actually got Transmorphers on my Nextflix queue. :lol:

i actually saw this or better yet fast forwaded this from cable a few weeks ago. maybe 6-7 minutes of seeing actual robots (if that even) or anything that resembles robots and then the rest of the movie is this feeble cast in an underground tunnel talking about the fall of man or something like that. it was cheap, even less quality than a Sci-Fi original and god-awful.

Jason
06-20-09, 12:55 PM
If Shia LeDouche gets stepped on and crushed by a giant robot, I'll give this 5 stars. Otherwise, it's a rental at best.

Mr. Cinema
06-20-09, 01:00 PM
If Shia LeDouche gets stepped on and crushed by a giant robot, I'll give this 5 stars. Otherwise, it's a rental at best.
Personally, I'd rather see Madea getting stepped on and crushed to bits.

Despite the reviews, I plan on watching this Thursday. I don't expect any Michael Bay film to get gushing reviews from critics. I just hope this sequel doesn't feel as bloated as the Pirates sequels did in the theater. Those felt like they lasted about 5 hours.

Rypro 525
06-20-09, 02:42 PM
christ and i thought the first one was too long. Would it be asking for too much for Bay to make a quality action flick under 2 hours? i'll prob catch this at midnight if i'm not too tired and my friend wants to go

oh and this will get an automatic 5 stars if Megan Fox shows nudity

Draven
06-20-09, 04:55 PM
I'm going to post this review from AICN DOWNUNDER over at Aint It Cool (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41471)...this sounds exactly like what I figured the problems would be in the previous thread. Too long, dumb subplots and "jokes," big CGI confusion for no reason beyond "they can". No big spoilers but I'll hide it to be safe:

TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE FALLEN
Australian/NZ release: June 24
Note: this will be an entirely spoiler-free review.
This is not because the movie has any particularly impressive twists and turns, or because I think you should all go in as fresh and possible, but rather it's that I have no fucking idea what happened.
I'm not even kidding. This film is almost completely impenetrable. Oh sure, it looks like a big Hollywood blockbuster, but as bad as they can sometimes get, at least they're relatively simply to follow. This film is all over the place, and I'm not even sure the audience is expected to follow what's going on.
What I would like is for this to be an anger-fuelled review. You know the type. Where they took some property I loved, or even liked, and distorted it beyond belief, creating something that offended every one of my sensibilities. Those reviews can be a lot of fun to read, as well as a lot of fun to write.
Unfortunately, I wasn't angry. I was just bored. Yes, bored. Big explosions and CGI creatures are not interesting just because they're BIG. It takes about five minutes to get desensitised to all the Big Stuff Happening, and so for the remaining seven hours you're just numb. CGI should work for your story, not the other way around. And I'm not saying that from the point of view of an analytical critic; I'm guessing a lot of the audience is going to feel the same way, even if many of them can't articulate why. When mega-huge Transformers are climbing up the side of a pyramid, you don't for a second believe that's what you're watching. You're watching an exercise in large-scale CGI, and that lack of engagement is what makes it dull. No attempt is made to engage us with the story, so you end up just ticking off each scene as it runs through the predictable motions.
I'd have been more impressed had the CGI been better. The Transformers, I'm sorry to say, have not improved since the first film. They're too busy, there's too damn much going on. If you're going to do anything with the core idea of a Transformer, then I should be amazed at how all the parts folds into one another, how a robot can become a truck. Instead, we're blinded by an infinite number of moving parts that mean nothing. As if someone waved streamers in your face and then showed you a semi-trailer.
The dialogue is, it must be said, fucking terrible. Look, I'm not expecting Mamet when I go into one of these things (although, who wouldn't love to see Mamet write a TRANSFORMERS?), but this is just unforgivably bad. Are those two African American robot car things supposed to be funny? I don't understand. Are we supposed to like them? Did the poor woman who plays Shia's mother ever stop to point out her dialogue is the worst ever given to an actress? Oh, I know middle-aged people saying "shit" a lot is really funny in and of itself, but after a while the joke starts to wear thin, you know? And why is one of the deep-voiced dignified Autobots saying "Damn, I'm good" like he's recording catchphrases for his toy? Who fucking wrote this shit?
Well, two of the writers were Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the guys I praised for delivering me a STAR TREK film I actually loved. I'm at a loss. I loved TREK, so much so that I was willing to forgive some minor flaws and inconsistencies. How did they go from that to this? Maybe it's Ehren Kruger. I don't know. Kruger did write the terrific ARLINGTON ROAD. Dammit. Who is to blame? Who can I throw stones at? Who was responsible for the line -- and I swear, this is verbatim -- "I'm just an ordinary kid with ordinary problems". Guys, I think that was a suggestion for characterisation, not a dialogue note.
I know this reviews is a bit all over the place, but that's appropriate given the film is as well. And I know it sounds like I'm angry, but I'm not. I'm enthusiastically confused.
But hey, it's not all bad. The film does somehow manage to be closer to three hours than two. If nothing else, rest assured that what the film lacks in quality, it more than makes up for in length.
Just don't bother.

RichC2
06-20-09, 05:13 PM
christ and i thought the first one was too long. Would it be asking for too much for Bay to make a quality action flick under 2 hours? i'll prob catch this at midnight if i'm not too tired and my friend wants to go

oh and this will get an automatic 5 stars if Megan Fox shows nudity

It isn't possible for there to be a quality flick, much less a quality action flick, under 2 hours. Everybody on this board knows that now.

Doctor Gonzo
06-20-09, 05:14 PM
YOW! That transmorphers movie looks bad!!! for anyone who's curious, somebody has the whole thing up for viewing on youtube - take a quick look just to see the shit FX

RichC2
06-20-09, 05:17 PM
YOW! That transmorphers movie looks bad!!! for anyone who's curious, somebody has the whole thing up for viewing on youtube - take a quick look just to see the shit FX

Are the visuals at least up to par with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus?

chris_sc77
06-20-09, 07:52 PM
christ and i thought the first one was too long. Would it be asking for too much for Bay to make a quality action flick under 2 hours? i'll prob catch this at midnight if i'm not too tired and my friend wants to go


You want some 90 minute shit? Well look no furthur than Transmorphors pictures a few posts above.

WHy in the hell would you want a summer action movie to give you less? I can understand if for example a smaller film like Whatever Works was 2 and a half hours and you were all like "oh thats too long", but wanting less in a summer action film is just ridiculous. Are you the kinda person that pays for an x-tra large pizza and then proceeds to cut half of it off and throw it away and say its too big?
Dont you people want your money's worth?
Look at the biggest movies ever and their grosses. Loot at how long they last:
Titanic
Dark KNight
Lord of the Rings
Harry Potter
etc. etc. anyone see a pattern on the run times for these films?
well i do and part of the reasons these movies worked is because they told a full story and people were obviously impressed by them.

JumpCutz
06-20-09, 08:27 PM
:lol: rotfl -ohbfrank-

GenPion
06-20-09, 09:01 PM
I went to a psychic today, and they told me this movie would suck.

I just thought I'd give you all the heads up.

Seantn
06-20-09, 09:27 PM
You want some 90 minute shit? Well look no furthur than Transmorphors pictures a few posts above.

WHy in the hell would you want a summer action movie to give you less? I can understand if for example a smaller film like Whatever Works was 2 and a half hours and you were all like "oh thats too long", but wanting less in a summer action film is just ridiculous. Are you the kinda person that pays for an x-tra large pizza and then proceeds to cut half of it off and throw it away and say its too big?
Dont you people want your money's worth?
Look at the biggest movies ever and their grosses. Loot at how long they last:
Titanic
Dark KNight
Lord of the Rings
Harry Potter
etc. etc. anyone see a pattern on the run times for these films?
well i do and part of the reasons these movies worked is because they told a full story and people were obviously impressed by them.

And how many of those were Rated R? ;)

Supermallet
06-20-09, 10:50 PM
You want some 90 minute shit? Well look no furthur than Transmorphors pictures a few posts above.

WHy in the hell would you want a summer action movie to give you less? I can understand if for example a smaller film like Whatever Works was 2 and a half hours and you were all like "oh thats too long", but wanting less in a summer action film is just ridiculous. Are you the kinda person that pays for an x-tra large pizza and then proceeds to cut half of it off and throw it away and say its too big?
Dont you people want your money's worth?
Look at the biggest movies ever and their grosses. Loot at how long they last:
Titanic
Dark KNight
Lord of the Rings
Harry Potter
etc. etc. anyone see a pattern on the run times for these films?
well i do and part of the reasons these movies worked is because they told a full story and people were obviously impressed by them.

I could have easily cut out 30-40 minutes of this movie to make it better. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Quantity does not equal quality?" Then again, maybe you haven't.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 12:10 AM
I could have easily cut out 30-40 minutes of this movie to make it better. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "Quantity does not equal quality?" Then again, maybe you haven't.

So it's basically just like the first? Does the robot to humans ratio at least improve in terms of screentime or is that the same as well (despite the increased robot roster)? Just wanna know to keep my expectationsin check.

Also, are we once again treated to a pointless subplot similar to the analysts/hacker from the first? Or has that mistake not been repeated this time around?

Supermallet
06-21-09, 01:08 AM
So it's basically just like the first? Does the robot to humans ratio at least improve in terms of screentime or is that the same as well (despite the increased robot roster)? Just wanna know to keep my expectationsin check.

Also, are we once again treated to a pointless subplot similar to the analysts/hacker from the first? Or has that mistake not been repeated this time around?

There are no hackers, but the only likeable characters are Sam's parents, Bumblebee, and Optimus. It's much worse than the first one. The first movie was very good and could have been trimmed to be fantastic. This one is very bad and could be trimmed to be OK.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 01:51 AM
Damn. Well, thanks for letting me know nonetheless. I appreciate the response.

The Cow
06-21-09, 01:59 AM
Just finished reading the comic book adaptation of the movie. I was fine with all of the movie trailers I've seen, but reading that takes away a lot of the hope I had for this one.

Draven
06-21-09, 09:11 AM
I've heard there are two "Jar Jar Binks"-level characters. Is that accurate?

Supermallet
06-21-09, 11:40 AM
Yes, although they're not as prominent as Jar-Jar, but are potentially more obnoxious.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 12:31 PM
I guessing you're refering to Mudflap and Skids?

Supermallet
06-21-09, 12:35 PM
If that was what they were called, yes. But you might as well call them Humpty and Dumpty. They're a total embarrassment.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 02:39 PM
If it's the two bots that accompany Sam and Bumblebee to Egypt (the so-called twins), then that's their names.

Supermallet
06-21-09, 02:41 PM
Got it. Yes, that's them.

mndtrp
06-21-09, 05:16 PM
I've actually got Transmorphers on my Nextflix queue. :lol:

It's not particularly good, and I usually find some level of entertainment out of Asylum movies.

skywalker8
06-21-09, 10:25 PM
to anyone who has seen it:

Is Beetlejuice in the film? I remember he was spotted on the set about a year ago.

toddly6666
06-21-09, 10:27 PM
Can someone comment on SOUNDWAVE please? Did he get any lines? Is his voice the same as in the cartoon?

Solid Snake
06-21-09, 10:50 PM
Wikipedia says:

He does not speak in his vocoder-altered voice. Instead, Frank Welker uses his Doctor Claw voice from Inspector Gadget. (Which is actually how the voice would sound without the vocoder.)

Rypro 525
06-21-09, 11:09 PM
i would have said something, but then i saw who posted.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 11:09 PM
Well it makes sense for Frank to do the Dr. Claw voice. Heck, in some episodes of the cartoon there were instances where the vocoder was not applied and he ended up sounding just like Dr. Claw. I'm just wondering why they didn't apply the vocoder or a similar effect given that's part of what makes the character so iconic.

RocShemp
06-21-09, 11:42 PM
Do we at least get an "as you command, Megatron" from Soundwave?

maingon
06-22-09, 12:10 AM
i could care less what critics thing on this movie. I loved the first one. Really looking forward to this one.

Kal-El
06-22-09, 12:14 AM
i could care less what critics thing on this movie. I loved the first one. Really looking forward to this one.


http://members.arstechnica.com/x/oneballjay/caring_continuum.jpg

Draven
06-22-09, 12:31 AM
Well it makes sense for Frank to do the Dr. Claw voice. Heck, in some episodes of the cartoon there were instances where the vocoder was not applied and he ended up sounding just like Dr. Claw. I'm just wondering why they didn't apply the vocoder or a similar effect given that's part of what makes the character so iconic.

Pretty much ever "iconic" detail of the Transformers has been changed. I don't know why anyone would think this movie would be different.

Supermallet
06-22-09, 01:08 AM
Soundwave never uses English, he only speaks in the Transformers' native language.

i could care less what critics thing on this movie. I loved the first one. Really looking forward to this one.

I loved the first movie. Read my HD DVD review. I gave the movie 4 stars. It's a really really really good movie. This is not.

RocShemp
06-22-09, 06:39 AM
Pretty much ever "iconic" detail of the Transformers has been changed. I don't know why anyone would think this movie would be different.

Given that casting Frank Welker as Soundwave is obvously an attempt to placate fans like myself who objected to the casting of Hugo Weaving as Megatron over Frank Welker, it isn't too much to assume they'd keep him sounding close to the original. Kind of like how Peter Cullen, though not having that flanging effect from the cartoons, sounds not too far off fro the G1 Optimus Prime. I expected something similar for Soundwave.

Ronnie Dobbs
06-22-09, 12:02 PM
I'm seeing it in less that six hours cannot wait.

Goat3001
06-22-09, 12:31 PM
I loved the first movie. Read my HD DVD review. I gave the movie 4 stars. It's a really really really good movie. This is not.

That's too bad. I wasn't expecting as much from the sequel as I was from the original but I was hoping that it would at least be enjoyable. You've lowered my expectations but I still plan on seeing this sometime this week. As long as it's got some good action and some gratuitous Megan Fox, I'll glady pay to see it.

i would have said something, but then i saw who posted.

:down: I disagree with this mentality. If you respond then he will respond and that will keep the ball of comedy rolling.

RocShemp
06-22-09, 12:31 PM
Cool. Please let us know your thoughts afterwards, Ronnie Dobbs. I just wanna see if there are any dissenting opinions.

Ronnie Dobbs
06-22-09, 02:18 PM
So the movie is racist and sexist??? Awesome.

http://www.movieline.com/2009/06/the-movieline-nine-most-shameless-aspects-of-transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen.php

thecrackedjack2
06-22-09, 02:40 PM
Man, are any of these summer movies going to live up to expectations? Last year we had Hulk, Iron Man, Dark Knight, etc hitting the mark and now all these seem to to missing it. Disappointing indeed.

Still, look forward to seeing it though.

Solid Snake
06-22-09, 03:05 PM
There's always Inglourious Basterds, no?

jeffbase34
06-22-09, 03:28 PM
Man, are any of these summer movies going to live up to expectations? Last year we had Hulk, Iron Man, Dark Knight, etc hitting the mark and now all these seem to to missing it. Disappointing indeed.

Still, look forward to seeing it though.

I even enjoyed Hancock last year, but this summer, after Star Trek, just nothing. Year 1 is more like January Feb movie, not a tentpole summer flick! Where are the big special effects movies this summer?? Marvel really dropped the ball this year.

Artman
06-22-09, 08:22 PM
....I walked out after 10 minutes.


I didn't see it in theaters but watched the first ten min or so... loved it! I hope the rest of it is like that...

Dr Mabuse
06-22-09, 08:31 PM
http://members.arstechnica.com/x/oneballjay/caring_continuum.jpg

:lol:

spizz
06-23-09, 12:14 AM
Just saw it and was Dissapointed. Not crap but an average sequel. After loving the 1st one I was so looking forward to this.

Micheal Bay sometimes less is more. Just to much thrown in on this one. Didn't care about the human characters at all. John Tutturo (sp?) was one of the only bright spots. And with the action it was hard to keep track of who was who with the shaky cam and close ups, especially since most of the robots weren't properly introduced. The 1st one also had a better story to. Oh well, it is what it is.

Lara Means
06-23-09, 03:38 AM
Man, are any of these summer movies going to live up to expectations? Last year we had Hulk, Iron Man, Dark Knight, etc hitting the mark and now all these seem to to missing it.



-screwy-

The Incredible Hulk was pure garbage.

thecrackedjack2
06-23-09, 04:36 AM
-screwy-

The Incredible Hulk was pure garbage.

I and RT (A respectable 66%, not bad for a summer popcorn flick) would disagree. But, that's the wonderful thing about opinions.

outcastja
06-23-09, 08:46 AM
Ebert's one star review

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090623/REVIEWS/906239997

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.

Zen Peckinpah
06-23-09, 09:05 AM
A couple of review blurbs on RT that had me :lol:

"A 150-minute simulation of life in a garbage disposal." Matt Pais, Metromix.com

"It’s like being hit over the head repeatedly with a very expensive, very loud train set. After two and a half hours in this bludgeoning company, you’re begging Bay to put away the boys’ toys and make a rom-com." Ed Potton, The Times

Anubis2005X
06-23-09, 09:23 AM
I don't always agree with Roger Ebert, but I enjoyed that review...

hapgilmore
06-23-09, 10:09 AM
Can anyone confirm if this is "old school" Michael Bay (i.e. Armageddon, Bad Boys 2: nonstop quick cuts and frenetic editing), or "new school" (i.e. The Island, Transformers 1: kinda like old Bay but the cuts aren't as fast and the editing a little slower)?

I prefer old school!

iggystar
06-23-09, 10:39 AM
Ain't It Cool is the perfect review. I agree with each and every word.

I like popcorn flicks, with expolsions, heck I've been known to enjoy a Michael Bay film or two, but my main gripe, just like my complaint about the first is the Transformer design. You can hardly tell what's happening with all of the bits of whirring metal, it just looks like large pieces of scrap rolling on top of each other. At least give me that a cleaner design...so I can enjoy the fight scenes, so I can see the individual strengths of each.

I saw this movie free, from a press pass and it was just explosions, metal and nothing else. I could have cared less if each and every character died, I don't know if I've ever been so emotionally disconnected from a movie. There were several Jar-Jar annoying characters and it seemed like the dialogue was written for, who? I don't know. There were so many sexual references that just weren't funny. I could forgive them if they made me laugh, but I didn't, not once.

Basically, there's NO way I'm going to take my daughter to see this, I don't care how much she loves Shia, I will not sit through it again.

Draven
06-23-09, 10:48 AM
Ain't It Cool is the perfect review. I agree with each and every word.

I like popcorn flicks, with expolsions, heck I've been known to enjoy a Michael Bay film or two, but my main gripe, just like my complaint about the first is the Transformer design. You can hardly tell what's happening with all of the bits of whirring metal, it just looks like large pieces of scrap rolling on top of each other. At least give me that a cleaner design...so I can enjoy the fight scenes, so I can see the individual strengths of each.

That's big one of my biggest problems with the series. The Transformers already HAVE relatively clean designs. They just need to update them to look a little more realistic and I think it would have been great. Instead it literally looks like they blew up each car, assembled the pieces to look vaguely humanoid and then created the designs from that.

Very disappointing.

iggystar
06-23-09, 10:59 AM
The Transformers already HAVE relatively clean designs. They just need to update them to look a little more realistic and I think it would have been great. Instead it literally looks like they blew up each car, assembled the pieces to look vaguely humanoid and then created the designs from that.

Very disappointing.

Yes, I totally agree! The design is completely overdone and cluttered. You could always tell the different Transformers apart in the series, you could see that one started out as a truck and once transformed you could still see truck-like attributes. Now they all look like scrap metal heaps.

My friend went to the bathroom and came back and was like, "Um, what Transformer is that?" I'd been sitting there and couldn't tell her. What a mess.

OldBoy
06-23-09, 11:21 AM
John Turturro (sp?) was one of the only bright spots.

really? i thought he was one of the negatives from the first. was he better or more toned-down than the previous?

woofman
06-23-09, 02:42 PM
I saw this last night and I found it to be quite an entertaining summer action flick. Yes it did have some faults as mentioned in previous posts, and a scene or two where they really laid on the cheese, but I didn't go into it expecting Silence of the Lambs. The audience really got into it, cheering and clapping several times throughout the movie, and even more so at the end. Special effects and sets were larger than life and completely over the top, I had to just laugh and enjoy it for what it was.

Superboy
06-23-09, 04:16 PM
I thought this was a reviews thread.

I thought it had many of the same problems as the first movie, but also addressed many of the problems of the first movie.

The movie flows better.

There's less plot holes. Although they're still there... who cares.

Still...

The whole point of the transformers is that they're robots in disguise, and despite this, the autobots and decepticons can detect each other. So why doesn't bumblebee just blow the hell out of that pretender the first time he sees it, instead of just playing Superfreak?

Meteors constantly colliding with the planet is sure to draw the attention of the autobots and the humans.

Why not just hold megatron in another facility like they did in the first movie? why at the bottom of the ocean?

RocShemp
06-23-09, 04:26 PM
A much better question is why didn't they just melt Megatron down to a molten pile? After the first movie, they knew how hot you needed to get them to damage them.

Superboy
06-23-09, 04:36 PM
A much better question is why didn't they just melt Megatron down to a molten pile? After the first movie, they knew how hot you needed to get them to damage them.

Even better...

In the first movie, Prime made a big deal about sacrificing himself to destroy the allspark. Obviously this is not fatal, so why didn't he just do it?

RocShemp
06-23-09, 04:56 PM
Actually that one I explained elsewhere. Ratchet said "the Cube is raw power. It COULD destroy you both." The outcome of Prime merging with the Allspark was unknown. Sam just lucked out that it made Megatron shut down instead of instantly turning him in an uber-Transformer.

slop101
06-23-09, 04:59 PM
I saw this movie free, from a press pass and it was just explosions, metal and nothing else. I could have cared less if each and every character died, I don't know if I've ever been so emotionally disconnected from a movie. n.So you cared about the characters?

;)

RocShemp
06-23-09, 05:38 PM
Have we already forgotten the graph?

http://members.arstechnica.com/x/oneballjay/caring_continuum.jpg

-ohbfrank-

The O
06-23-09, 05:52 PM
Say no to Decepticon balls. (http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/37689/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen/)

BJacks
06-23-09, 05:56 PM
This was one of the worst films I've seen this decade. A boring, bloated mess. And I'm the most un-PC guy on the planet but even I was shocked by the blatant racism. Gold teeth-adorned, streettalk-slinging, ape-looking, weed-smoking illiterate robots? Jesus.

Gizmo
06-23-09, 05:58 PM
You want some 90 minute shit? Well look no furthur than Transmorphors pictures a few posts above.

WHy in the hell would you want a summer action movie to give you less? I can understand if for example a smaller film like Whatever Works was 2 and a half hours and you were all like "oh thats too long", but wanting less in a summer action film is just ridiculous. Are you the kinda person that pays for an x-tra large pizza and then proceeds to cut half of it off and throw it away and say its too big?
Dont you people want your money's worth?
Look at the biggest movies ever and their grosses. Loot at how long they last:
Titanic
Dark KNight
Lord of the Rings
Harry Potter
etc. etc. anyone see a pattern on the run times for these films?
well i do and part of the reasons these movies worked is because they told a full story and people were obviously impressed by them.

You still on the whole "2 hours = better" crap? Man, I even thought that joke was getting stale but you seem to be serious.

RocShemp
06-23-09, 06:02 PM
it's "Bad Boys II" all over again.

Sadder words have never been written. :(

Deftones
06-23-09, 06:06 PM
This was one of the worst films I've seen this decade. A boring, bloated mess. And I'm the most un-PC guy on the planet but even I was shocked by the blatant racism. Gold teeth-adorned, streettalk-slinging, ape-looking, weed-smoking illiterate robots? Jesus.

well after reading the reviews, I was looking forward to this less and less. however, now that you posted this, my curiosity is piqued again! :lol:

RocShemp
06-23-09, 06:10 PM
it's "Bad Boys II" all over again.

Sadder words have never been written. :(

Gizmo
06-23-09, 06:11 PM
well after reading the reviews, I was looking forward to this less and less. however, now that you posted this, my curiosity is piqued again! :lol:

Same here. Was ready to wait until it hit Blu-ray...but now I just might have to see it.

candyrocket786
06-23-09, 06:56 PM
That's big one of my biggest problems with the series. The Transformers already HAVE relatively clean designs. They just need to update them to look a little more realistic and I think it would have been great. Instead it literally looks like they blew up each car, assembled the pieces to look vaguely humanoid and then created the designs from that.

Very disappointing.

That's why I was always hoping they went with the Binaltech design or something close to it.

...but of course the assholes behind the camera felt it wasn't necessary "to cheat" with the transformation because they specifically wanted every part to go "somewhere". If you watch the special features from the first film you pretty much get an idea that they didn't give two shits about the source material. -ohbfrank-

IMO I could care less if Alien Robots disguised as vehicles ran on fossil fuels or had moving engine parts.

If it looks like a vehicle and has Robot mode that resembles something close to designs we are all familiar with, then I'm fine with it.

Supermallet
06-23-09, 08:12 PM
Say no to Decepticon balls. (http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/37689/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen/)

Brian, I agree with everything you wrote, except I think the parents are great. But otherwise, spot on review. :up:

If anyone is curious (as if I haven't said enough on the subject already), my review. (http://www.avrev.com/theatrical-movie-reviews/theatrical/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen-2009.html)

gmal2003
06-23-09, 08:13 PM
So you cared about the characters?

;)


Hee, hee. ;) Such a faux pas and I had a graph to reference!

To correct myself, I wished them all a slow and painful death.

Superboy
06-23-09, 09:02 PM
Wow... it's sad that I ended up not liking Star Trek (and my expectations were pretty low), but I ended up enjoying this movie. I guess it has a lot to do with expectations and how I view the source material.

Doctor Gonzo
06-23-09, 09:44 PM
Liked this bit from Roger Ebert:


“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination…

The battle scenes are bewildering. A Bot makes no visual sense anyway, but two or three tangled up together create an incomprehensible confusion. I find it amusing that creatures that can unfold out of a Camaro and stand four stories high do most of their fighting with…fists. Like I say, dumber than a box of staples.

Realizing Revenge of the Fallen isn’t worth any more of his time or vocabulary, Ebert ends by throwing the words of other critics at it:

I looked up the first [UK] reviews as a reality check. I was reassured: “Like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan!” (Bradshaw, Guardian); “Sums up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood!” (Tookey, Daily Mail); “A giant, lumbering idiot of a movie!” (Edwards, Daily Mirror). The first American review, however, reported that it “feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time” (Todd Gilchrist, Cinematical). It’s certainly the biggest something of all time.

Across the street from the Sun-Times, the Chicago Trib’s Michael Phillips says, “Fox’s cleavage is the only camera object that catches Bay’s attention for more than a millisecond.”

nickdawgy
06-23-09, 09:44 PM
-screwy-

The Incredible Hulk was pure garbage.

Hulk was garbage, the Incredible Hulk was great.

slop101
06-23-09, 09:56 PM
Hulk was garbage, the Incredible Hulk was great.... in Opposite Land.

Anubis2005X
06-23-09, 10:35 PM
Hulk was garbage, the Incredible Hulk was great.

Agreed, loved Incredible Hulk...

AnonomusBob15
06-23-09, 10:40 PM
I actually liked Bad Boys 2. Still pretty disappointed at the reviews so far. I didn't mind the overkill in Bad Boys, as I love practical action effects but this sounds like a giant turd.

Arpeggi
06-23-09, 11:01 PM
Hulk was garbage, the Incredible Hulk was great.

in OPPOSITE LAND!

freshticles
06-23-09, 11:50 PM
Opposite land doesn't exist. Incredible hulk was good.

JumpCutz
06-23-09, 11:51 PM
:lol: Currently 24% fresh at RT with some of the most brutal reviews ever written.:lol:

Troy Stiffler
06-24-09, 12:33 AM
Bay is always an easy target. This 'buzz' isn't much different from Bay's general response.

I'll catch it in the next week-or-so. And I'm always excited to see what Bay will move on to next. Hope it's something original (yea, yea, yea, you know what I'm sayin').

RD1973
06-24-09, 12:40 AM
My girlfriend doesn't like sci-fi or comic book movies. She feels they are childish and stupid. However, I actually talked her into going to see this one with me. But after all these reviews, I think I'll go alone. I could see myself getting dumped for dragging her to this (and rightfully so).

Supermallet
06-24-09, 01:27 AM
Bay is always an easy target. This 'buzz' isn't much different from Bay's general response.

I'll catch it in the next week-or-so. And I'm always excited to see what Bay will move on to next. Hope it's something original (yea, yea, yea, you know what I'm sayin').

The reviews for the first Transformers didn't exactly light the world on fire (57% on Rotten Tomatoes), but that's almost triple the percentage Revenge of the Fallen is getting. I'm rewatching the first one now and it feels like Lawrence of Arabia in comparison.

stingermck
06-24-09, 02:12 AM
Bad. Ass.

Goodnight!

bcd
06-24-09, 02:55 AM
Bad...Ass...yes. It was indeed bad and sucked a very large amount of ass!!

Goodmorning!!!

Rypro 525
06-24-09, 03:08 AM
eh, i didn't mind it. sure it was stupid but it was entertaining (and i loled at Sam having the bad boys 2 poster) and the final battle scene was like the final 45 min of the movie or so

DonTHX1378
06-24-09, 03:11 AM
I got to see it for free tonight and I'm glad I did. Anyone whom pays money for this I feel very bad for. I agree with Bjacks that this is on target along with the first Transformers to be on a list for worst films of the decade. Yet again Bay makes a film where you could care less about the characters or really anything that is going on. The action is so overdone that you do feel like your being smacked with a 2x4 in the face. Half the time I really couldn't tell what was going on with all the action. There is that much confusion with Bay's direction of the action, to the point where it gets tedious and old. I also found it funny that the only thing that Fox is used for in the flick is to show her cleavage. I know that she's a good looking female, but come on Bay, your not Russ Meyer! And whomever wrote the script must have taken classes from the Lucas school of scriptwriting, because it's more of the same eye rolling dialog just like the first film. For every great summer film like Star Trek I know we get some bad films, but this summer has been pretty bad so far. This film just takes the cake and is in the running right now for worst film of the year. God I hope this doesn't overtake The Dark Knight's record for best first weekend at the box office.

Son of Odin
06-24-09, 03:12 AM
light years better than the first film. optimus prime was kicking all three of megatron, starscream, and blackout ass's all at once. he must have gotten stronger. the action was the best action i have probably ever seen. bay payed more attention to the cartoon this time around. soundwave's voice was the same as the cartoon. also when optimus beat the **** out of megatron at the end, megatron, like in the cartoon, was calling out "starscream" to come and save him....classic megatron. the way prime destroyed the fallen was the icing on the cake. the acting was good. fox was better in this than the first. the humor was better also. easily the best movie this summer and better than iron man of last summer which imo was the best film last summer. bay delivered. i agree that more time could've been payed to sideswipe, who was freakin awesome. same with ironhide, and ratchet. but c'mon, the twins were awesome.
so my pros:
optimus was stronger and kicked more ass.
bumblee kicked more ass and had the crowd clapping when he thrashed ravage and rampage.
all the new transformers were awesome.
better action. the transformation of devastator was one of those cinematic golden eggs.
better story.
fox was hot. as was the female decepticon.
more faithful to the cartoon series. finally.

cons.
not much besides you can tell when they faked the bogus injury to shia's hand to hide the real injury he had in the car crash he was in.
not enough sideswipe, ironhide, and ratchet, but most of all sideswipe, he was way cool.

one more thing, there are a whole lotta more bad actresses than megan fox. for christ's sake, we could've got tara reid. so please fox haters. she was alright in this movie.

Aegean2007
06-24-09, 03:19 AM
I found myself inspired after viewing this particular "film":

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i118/aegean2007/GoofusandGallant.jpg

Son of Odin
06-24-09, 03:46 AM
imo, just the epic throwdown in the woods between prime and megatron, starscream, and blackout was better than the entire star trek film. at least we didn't get young alternate versions of prime and the transformers growing up when fans were expecting the characters we've grown up with and loved. by the way, is nero still waiting for spock to show up by chance instead of actually using his supreme tech to conquer the universe instead. that plot made nero look like a total dumbass.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 03:48 AM
:lol: That's great (the Goofus and Gallant cartoon, I mean, not Son of Odin's ramblings, although those are unintentionally funny).

Aegean2007
06-24-09, 03:52 AM
Also, is there any way I can change my vote from half a star to 0 stars? I've been dwelling on this since I saw it, and I've changed my mind.

I probably can't mark it zero, but please remember this as the polls dry up.

jdslater1
06-24-09, 04:08 AM
Saw this last night on a digital projection screen, the only way to see this film. I will be seeing this again next week, I will give it a 4/5 mark. I will not list loads of spoilers but I will list some pros and cons.

Pros
The action is pretty insane, and if you like US hardware you will not be dissapointed!
The humor. There are some really good jokes in there.
Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas are both hot!
I still love the actors who play his parents, she is so good!
The sound on this film is exactly the reason way I have a big subwoofer!
Glenn Morshower is back as GENERAL Morshower, how cool is that?!

Cons
The action is insane and you cannot make out some of the big fights (Bay hasn't learnt has lesson from the first film).
The humor, there is too much of it and even though I did laugh alot the seriousness of the story does not warrent this level.
Too many robots. It's abit of overkill but Ravage is really cool. It has pretty much the same design as the toy.
Could have lost 20-30 minutes.
The Bay shoot of swirling round his actors is way over used.

The cons may seem more severe but like I say. I'm seeing it again next week and will be getting the BD on the release day.

Son of Odin
06-24-09, 04:20 AM
isabel lucas dare i say was hotter than megan fox. pretty close. this movie could've went straight into a porn and i don't think the crowd at my theater would have cared. lucas was that hot. as for the blu-ray, the people over at the avs forums will have to make a new sound tier, above the reference tier for this film. the devastator sequence will surely bring my walls down.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 04:35 AM
I was actually underwhelmed by the sound, and in IMAX no less.

Michael Corvin
06-24-09, 06:02 AM
If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination…

rotfl

jdslater1
06-24-09, 06:23 AM
I was actually underwhelmed by the sound, and in IMAX no less.

Sorry but that sound of the bomb hits was sublime.

grrr
06-24-09, 06:24 AM
I know that she's a good looking female, but come on Bay, your not Russ Meyer!

Bay got his start shooting Playboy videos. He's a fusion of Meyer and Roger Corman with a huge budget at his disposal.

TheKing
06-24-09, 06:32 AM
I agree with those who say there was too much humor. The comedy bits really started to wear down the story during the climax.

I liked Devestator's balls. Yeah, I know that kind of contradicts my previous comment, but of the funny stuff in the late part of the film, I thought it was the one that worked.

Overall, I liked it. Really, I can't see how anyone can call this the worst film of the year. I mean, seriously, what kind of expectation would one have that they would be so disappointed by this film to claim its worse than Pink Panther 2?

And if this is what qualifies as terrible, what term is going to be invented to describe G.I. Joe, which looks to be a far worse bastardization of its source material.

The film is hokey, silly at times, and the action is cartoonish. Go back and watch the source material! The biggest difference between the two (besides the look of the bots of course) is that the humans are the focus of the stories instead of the bots. But the films have been faithful to the source in terms of tone.

This isn't high art, it's robots beating the fluids out of each other with lots of slo-mo Megan Fox running. If you liked the first one, you should enjoy this one. If you didn't like the first one, you're not going to like this one.

jdslater1
06-24-09, 06:36 AM
I think the best joke was about the "tight shirts", had me rolling!
Also liked the line from one of the twins first saw Devestator.

outcastja
06-24-09, 07:39 AM
I was actually underwhelmed by the sound, and in IMAX no less.

Really, I watched it at your theater and loved the sound, probably the only 3 things I liked about the movie.

The only thing I liked was the first 5 minutes of the movies mainly because I was there in downtown Long Beach where they shot some of it, and the forest scene which seems like I had to wait forever to happen. The parents stuff was pretty cool except for all of the Egypt scenes.

I felt the movie just dragged and dragged, especially the Egypt part. It's pretty much like the first movie, where Sam takes some object from point A to point B with explosions all around him. By the time he got to Optimus I just stopped caring. And it ends with the big finale of Optimus taking down Megatron and Fallen in under a minute.

I was also disappointed by the amount of scenes shot on IMAX film, there was that awesome forest scene, and just a few shots here and there of Devastator and the pyramid. Couldn't have been more than 10 minutes total.

For a 2:30 movie I was expecting a lot of Decepticons vs Autobots, but in the end it felt like 15 minutes of that, and 2 hours of following Sam and company.

iggystar
06-24-09, 07:54 AM
Cons
The action is insane and you cannot make out some of the big fights (Bay hasn't learnt has lesson from the first film).

Too many robots. It's abit of overkill but Ravage is really cool. It has pretty much the same design as the toy.

Could have lost 20-30 minutes.

The Bay shoot of swirling round his actors is way over used.


But, but these cons are major to the movie being any good. Look, I didn't go in expecting a great movie, but when I couldn't get a clear view of the action, that's when I checked out.

jdslater1
06-24-09, 07:56 AM
I did like the little Armagedden nod in the Autobot base.

jdslater1
06-24-09, 08:13 AM
But, but these cons are major to the movie being any good. Look, I didn't go in expecting a great movie, but when I couldn't get a clear view of the action, that's when I checked out.

What do you mean "major to the movie being any good"? How many times do you need that going around shot in one film? It's not that important to the storytelling or indeed the action. Especially when you have seen it 8 times.

I also say that the action is good and bad for the same reason that you have agreed with.

It sounds like you agree with my comments but you start your remark with the word "But".

stingermck
06-24-09, 08:20 AM
OK I'm semi awake now. If my theater is any indication, this is going to open huge. The most people I have seen at a midnight, with 8 screens going.

I was never a big fan of Transformers, basing most my knowledge from the 1st film, and random questions to friends. With that said, it delivered what i wanted. lots of action, and big robots kicking ass.

This time I felt the action was a lot clearer than the 1st film. The big huge battles were great, and some iconic shots of Prime fighting were good. The movie felt very large and epic at time.

A few complaints:

The parents were good, but a little too much time spent with them at the college. The brownie scene was not necessary.

Not saying I love you to Megan Fox is more unbelievable than giant alien robots.

But all in all a good movie. Not as good as Star Trek, but better than Terminator and Wolverine, on my Summer list.

Stu 17
06-24-09, 09:13 AM
i really don't know why people are complaining.

i watched the 1986 movie, and then the first bay transformers movie tuesday evening prior to this. Revenge of the Fallen felt much more like the 86 movie than Transformers 1 did.

the humor did go a little over the top, i'll give you that. I could have done without Sam's mom getting wacked out on special brownies. there was a lot of silly humor in 1986 Transformers as well. beyond the baked Mom though, it was an excellent, enjoyable film...for what it is (a movie based on a cartoon).

as far as the action being too jumbled, i didnt think so. i thought they did a much better job of focusing the action and making it clearer what was happening than in the first. maybe the rest of you were tired or maybe my eyesight is better, i dont know, but i could tell who and what was fighting more often than not.

the fight in the forest was epic.

optimus merging with the older robot at the end reminded me of Optimal Optimus Primal from Beast Wars. he was bad ass.

i did not make the connection that Skid and Mudflaps were portrayed as stereotypical black people. if anything I just figured they were juvenille brothers.

BJacks
06-24-09, 09:27 AM
the humor did go a little over the top, i'll give you that. I could have done without Sam's mom getting wacked out on special brownies. there was a lot of silly humor in 1986 Transformers as well.The '86 film was geared to a younger audience so the humor was inherently sillier. Also it was the '80s. A year later Hollywood gave us "Disorderlies." Do we need to go back to that? Haven't we moved on?

The problem with the humor in "Revenge of the Fallen" is so much of it was just plain stupid. Sam's mom taking pot brownies was the least of it. I can't remember the last time I heard so many flat jokes in a single movie.

Stu 17
06-24-09, 09:32 AM
The '86 film was geared to a younger audience so the humor was inherently sillier.

Im not saying the humor was the same, as the 2 movies obviously appeal to different audiences. but the point is, there was a lot of attempt for humor back then and there was a lot in this one. and i didnt think there was anything wrong with that.

mdc3000
06-24-09, 09:36 AM
It was OK. Some good moments here and there but really fucking long and stupid for the most part... my biggest complaint is that the weakpoint of the first film is that it took AN HOUR to get the Autobots into it as a team... so I thought with the sequel, we could get our fill of Autobots hanging out, doing shit etc...but they're barely in this. The fact that the movie only has like 20-30 minutes of Optimus Prime is fucking terrible - it should have had at LEAST double that. This was easily one of the sloppiest, messiest blockbuster's I've seen in a long time.

Shia was fine but the humour didn't work as it was hammered again and again. The Bad Boys II poster was groan inducing, the roomate was useless and Mudflaps/Skids were as bad as I'd heard.... oh yeah, and earlier this summer Terminator: Salvation ripped off Transformers and now Bay returns the favour with a direct lift of the T-X terminatrix in one of the worst scenes in the movie that really makes no sense (if decepticons can look like people now, why not walk around like that all the time to track down Sam, more subtle, easier to kill him).... but there were still bright spots and some fun action. Not half the movie the first one was and it will still make bank, but if we get a Transformers 3, I really hope they get a good script and don't rush to a release date, because that really seems to be the downfall this time....that and Ehren Kruger ;)

outcastja
06-24-09, 09:49 AM
i did not make the connection that Skid and Mudflaps were portrayed as stereotypical black people. if anything I just figured they were juvenille brothers.

How about when they cut to the scene of the black guy in the deli where John Turturro works? I saw no reason to cut to him except for he was black and had buck teeth similar to the twins. Or the fact they couldn't read. I was expecting them to go full out blackface and do a jig.

Stu 17
06-24-09, 10:02 AM
How about when they cut to the scene of the black guy in the deli where John Turturro works? I saw no reason to cut to him except for he was black and had buck teeth similar to the twins. Or the fact they couldn't read. I was expecting them to go full out blackface and do a jig.

the black guy working in the deli served no purpose, i'll give you that. however, i do not see his connection to the twins.

let me ask something though, cuz i've never made this connection before.

why is it that when you see robots who can't read, you assume its making fun of black people?

outcastja
06-24-09, 10:08 AM
the black guy working in the deli served no purpose, i'll give you that. however, i do not see his connection to the twins.

let me ask something though, cuz i've never made this connection before.

why is it that when you see robots who can't read, you assume its making fun of black people?

Go rent Chris Rock's Bring the Pain special and you'll understand.

Stu 17
06-24-09, 10:21 AM
Go rent Chris Rock's Bring the Pain special and you'll understand.


i think id rather not fill my head with stereotypes.

i did some reading on the racist part, another point was that the twins look like "monkeys." that was the term used in either the article linked earlier in this thread or one via google.

either way, doesnt matter. to me, the twins had similar facial features to ironhide and ratchet.

TGM
06-24-09, 10:29 AM
http://www.willisms.com/archives/kanyewest.gif

George Bush doesn't care about Autobots.

Patman
06-24-09, 10:43 AM
Wow, the quote that came to mind was "Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" when watching this film. I get the feeling Michael Bay gets a script, and then just picks the pages he wants to film because he thinks it'll look and sound cool on the big screen. But, Michael Bay is a known directorial quantity, you know he doesn't care about plot development, character development, and always goes for cheap laughs and bombastic action sequences, never provides enough cinematic connective tissue to make his films dramatically engaging, all the while providing top-shelf action porn.

So, Transformers 2 is truly bigger and louder than the initial installment, but not better, and simply goes to well of "robot-on-robot" violence too many times, and its sparse dramatic beats lack subtlety or weight. It's like a live-action cartoon, but it's even more over-the-top than the average Saturday morning cartoon, trading quick, swishy camera moves for what could have been awe-inspiring transformations. The tension from "danger" is both cartoonish and unconvincing, leaving us with 1-dimensional characters and caricatures who don't provide any emotional engagement for us to hook into their situation.

There is, what seemed to be, a 30 minute stretch where it was the cinematic equivalent of watching the characters running in place in quicksand, a lot of action was going on, but nothing was happening until they introduced a deux ex machina to get the gang from point A to a far away point B. There was just a ridiculous amount of story-telling deficiencies going on in this film.

I think I seriously overdosed on all the robot carnage and explosions on the screen, after a while you just get numb to it all.

I give it 1.75 stars, or a grade of C-.

Mopower
06-24-09, 10:46 AM
Can't wait to see this abortion saturday in IMAX. (real IMAX that is) Hope it's as bad as everyone says.

hapgilmore
06-24-09, 10:51 AM
Can anyone confirm if this is "old school" Michael Bay (i.e. Armageddon, Bad Boys 2: nonstop quick cuts and frenetic editing), or "new school" (i.e. The Island, Transformers 1: kinda like old Bay but the cuts aren't as fast and the editing a little slower)?

I prefer old school!

Anybody?

Michael Corvin
06-24-09, 10:51 AM
Can't wait to see this abortion saturday in IMAX. (real IMAX that is) Hope it's as bad as everyone says.

:lol:

Stu 17
06-24-09, 11:04 AM
Anybody?

old school.

hapgilmore
06-24-09, 11:16 AM
^ Thank you. Now i'm excited!

Stu 17
06-24-09, 11:24 AM
^ Thank you. Now i'm excited!

i actually thought, this is the bad boys 2 version of transformers, after seeing it. and that was a good thing.

slop101
06-24-09, 11:28 AM
Can't wait to see this abortion saturday in IMAX. (real IMAX that is) Hope it's as bad as everyone says.Only a few minutes of the film are shot in true IMAX, and those minutes are not complete sequences. Random shots will appear in IMAX, meaning that the aspect-ratio for just one shot will change. Take into account how quick your average Michael Bay shot is and you'll understand how bizarre this decision was. Another sign that nobody making the movie gave a shit.

Mopower
06-24-09, 11:50 AM
Only a few minutes of the film are shot in true IMAX, and those minutes are not complete sequences. Random shots will appear in IMAX, meaning that the aspect-ratio for just one shot will change. Take into account how quick your average Michael Bay shot is and you'll understand how bizarre this decision was. Another sign that nobody making the movie gave a shit.

Oh well. Luckily the IMAX prices were the same as a regular theater prices. And still it's a giant ass screen.

GenPion
06-24-09, 11:59 AM
I can't believe this movie exists.



I mean, I can... but I'm trying to pretend that it doesn't.

Son of Odin
06-24-09, 12:16 PM
i really don't know why people are complaining.

i watched the 1986 movie, and then the first bay transformers movie tuesday evening prior to this. Revenge of the Fallen felt much more like the 86 movie than Transformers 1 did.

the humor did go a little over the top, i'll give you that. I could have done without Sam's mom getting wacked out on special brownies. there was a lot of silly humor in 1986 Transformers as well. beyond the baked Mom though, it was an excellent, enjoyable film...for what it is (a movie based on a cartoon).

as far as the action being too jumbled, i didnt think so. i thought they did a much better job of focusing the action and making it clearer what was happening than in the first. maybe the rest of you were tired or maybe my eyesight is better, i dont know, but i could tell who and what was fighting more often than not.

the fight in the forest was epic.

optimus merging with the older robot at the end reminded me of Optimal Optimus Primal from Beast Wars. he was bad ass.

i did not make the connection that Skid and Mudflaps were portrayed as stereotypical black people. if anything I just figured they were juvenille brothers.

ROTF actually followed the source material of the cartoons quite a bit more than the first. i remember one episode actually featured the decepticons trying to destroy the sun for energon cubes. we finally get the matrix of leadership. soundwave's voice was done by welker. we get more megatron/starscream bantering. for anyone to say this was not close to the source material.....flat out did not watch the G1 series. after seeing what 20th century Fox does to its marvel movies, that's what the term "bastardization" comes from.

Gizmo
06-24-09, 12:17 PM
So I take it this movie is awesome?

stingermck
06-24-09, 12:19 PM
'Transformers' opens with $16 million

Nabs best midnight run ever for a Wednesday

Paramount's "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" grossed an estimated $16 million in midnight runs, the second best ever after "The Dark Knight."
"Dark Knight" earned $18.5 million in midnight showings, but had the advantage of opening on a Friday.

"Transformers 2" played in roughly 3,000 runs beginning at 12:01 ayem on Wednesday. It's the best midnight run ever for a movie opening on a Wednesday.

Film expands today into a total of 4,226 runs.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118005320.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&nid=2854

iggystar
06-24-09, 12:35 PM
I agree with your list of cons, but you gave the movie 4 out of 5 stars. Your cons are the very reason why this movie is an epic fail, IMO. Your pros don't seem like a strong enough reason to give it such a high mark.

If the action in the big fight scenes is almost unrecognizable, then isn't that a major issue?

And years ago, all of Bay's sweeping camera movements, quick editing and slow motion was kind of cool. But, I'm really over it now it's all flash and no substance. Like eating candy all day with no real food.

jeffkjoe
06-24-09, 12:37 PM
The only way anyone could like this "film" is if they're young, they grew up with the toys, and/or watched the cartoon.




Coming into this thing cold is futile. It's a colossal piece of shit.

Michael Bay's camera will make you want to rip your eyes out, I guarantee.

jdslater1
06-24-09, 12:42 PM
But if you look at the pros I really did enjoy it. And I will be seeing it again. I did enjoy the humor but it was OTT and not all jokes hit their target. I loved the final battle but it could have got there 30 mins earlier. That sort of thing.

There were too many robots, and most of them are the small ones and they seem to use them to get around story problems.
The way I look at it is this. When Revenge of the Sith came out Lucas said that the last saber fight would last for 15 minutes and you think "Cool!". Yet when you are watching it you think "Just finish it! it's taking too long".

Same thing with this. You want more robots then there are too many. You want more action and then you just want to get to the end battle all the while thinking you have seen certain plot points and action scenes before.

Like I said before I'm going to see this again next Tuesday.

Mopower
06-24-09, 12:42 PM
The only way anyone could like this "film" is if they're young, they grew up with the toys, and/or watched the cartoon.







Why else would anyone watch it? :confused:

Daytripper
06-24-09, 12:46 PM
So I take it this movie is awesome?


Gizmo, please PLEASE change your Avatar! Now THAT makes me want to rip my eyes out. Or his.

mdc3000
06-24-09, 12:56 PM
Oh yeah, two other things I wanted to mention. 1. Could Green Day's 21 Guns have been used any more? I mean they played it like 4 damn times (instrumental and regular)...I love Green Day but that was excessive and 2. Could we put a moratorium on the scene where someone's heart stops and they have to be revived - but since it's a character we know can't possibly die, there is no tension whatsoever... the use of that in big blockbusters is getting tiresome.

Mopower
06-24-09, 01:04 PM
Oh yeah, two other things I wanted to mention. 1. Could Green Day's 21 Guns have been used any more? I mean they played it like 4 damn times (instrumental and regular)...I love Green Day but that was excessive and 2. Could we put a moratorium on the scene where someone's heart stops and they have to be revived - but since it's a character we know can't possibly die, there is no tension whatsoever... the use of that in big blockbusters is getting tiresome.


How many times does that crappy Linkin Park song play?

RobLutter
06-24-09, 01:24 PM
i really don't know why people are complaining.

i watched the 1986 movie, and then the first bay transformers movie tuesday evening prior to this. Revenge of the Fallen felt much more like the 86 movie than Transformers 1 did.

the humor did go a little over the top, i'll give you that. I could have done without Sam's mom getting wacked out on special brownies. there was a lot of silly humor in 1986 Transformers as well. beyond the baked Mom though, it was an excellent, enjoyable film...for what it is (a movie based on a cartoon).

as far as the action being too jumbled, i didnt think so. i thought they did a much better job of focusing the action and making it clearer what was happening than in the first. maybe the rest of you were tired or maybe my eyesight is better, i dont know, but i could tell who and what was fighting more often than not.

the fight in the forest was epic.

optimus merging with the older robot at the end reminded me of Optimal Optimus Primal from Beast Wars. he was bad ass.

i did not make the connection that Skid and Mudflaps were portrayed as stereotypical black people. if anything I just figured they were juvenille brothers.
There's a point where sticking too close to the animated source material does not work though... and becomes ridiculous... especially when Bay claims to be shooting for "realism" through his changes to more realistic bot designs and military involvement.

I actually don't think he went far enough "over the top" :) And what we've ended up with is a realistic setting with unrealistic actions.

The Smithsonian Aerospace Museum only has like... 4 guards? Right...
You can put a decepticon in your checked baggage? Right...
You can get high off a pot brownie that small? Right... :)
Where the hell were all the Autobots when Opimus got OWNED by the Decepticons? :)

What I could not believe all the testicle jokes, the "gangsta" twins (which every 18-25 joe schmo white rapper fan will love), and generally lots of potty humor. That brought the film waaay down for me.

That and I don't find Meagan Fox's brand of hot... hot. I'm not big into chicks with no personality that let their titties bounce around for 3 hours. :)

mdc3000
06-24-09, 01:24 PM
How many times does that crappy Linkin Park song play?

^I think it's only twice - once as part of the score, then for 2 minutes during the credits.

You can get high off a pot brownie that small?

I think she had already chowed down on a few brownies by the time we see her show them the bag....

maingon
06-24-09, 01:33 PM
Well I seen it last night I thought it was pretty awesome. I liked it alot. I loved the first one though. I do feel both movies are too long though. I thought the first half was pretty awesome. Thuough I am not a fan of john turturro in these movies. I seen it with a pretty full audience and they seemed to really enjoy it. They were laughing at all the jokes, and I thought the action was excellent.


I dont get the hate of this movie or Micheal Bay. These are fun movies and most of all of Micheal Bay movies are a ton of fun, and are great popcorn movies. Some of these post are just dumb, its a transformers movies. Stop trying to find things that are unrealsitc and just sit back and enjoy. I mean its a movie with Cars that transform to alien robots.

Some people just start going negative when they just hear Micheal Bay. I think hes one of the best Action directors today and one that still uses alot of practical effects. I think hes movies are always exciting, always great looking and just are alot of fun.

iggystar
06-24-09, 01:41 PM
But if you look at the pros I really did enjoy it. And I will be seeing it again.

Yes, I see that you enjoyed it by your 4/5 rating, I don't doubt that. And I agree with your cons as well. But the cons are major...not being able to really see the bots in the fight scenes is something that would seem to drop your high rating down a little bit more.

But I guess we all find different things important in our movies. I need to be able to clearly follow the action and some more plot. I mean, Shia is a hottie, but not hot enough to make my rating go up.

I can even see someone defending this movie as a guilty pleasure, I have quite a few. I've been known to watch Catwoman everytime it airs on TBS, but I know that I should hang my head in shame because I do...it's bad. This isn't even "so bad it's good" bad, it's really just pitiful.

Anubis2005X
06-24-09, 01:53 PM
I'm not big into chicks with no personality that let their titties bounce around for 3 hours. :)

:banned:

The Bus
06-24-09, 02:05 PM
That and I don't find Meagan Fox's brand of hot... hot. I'm not big into <img src="http://i42.tinypic.com/2hf6p1g.gif">

-ohbfrank-

BJacks
06-24-09, 02:06 PM
I dont get the hate of this movie or Micheal Bay. These are fun movies and most of all of Micheal Bay movies are a ton of fun, and are great popcorn movies.I'm a proud Michael Bay fan and a fan of summer movies in general, but Revenge of the Fallen is just a shitty, boring movie any way you slice it. The dialogue is godawful, the barrage of bad jokes are lame, and the fight scenes -- which ordinarily are a key cornerstone of a summer movie -- are completely unintelligible. And with the exception of Optimus, Bumblebee and The Fallen, every robot looked the same. During the battle sequences (especially in the desert), tell me you knew who was fighting who.

It's a big, loud, overdrawn mess.

iggystar
06-24-09, 02:13 PM
I'm a proud Michael Bay fan and a fan of summer movies in general, but Revenge of the Fallen is just a shitty, boring movie any way you slice it. The dialogue is godawful, the barrage of bad jokes are lame, and the fight scenes -- which ordinarily are a key cornerstone of a summer movie -- are completely unintelligible. And with the exception of Optimus, Bumblebee and The Fallen, every robot looked the same. During the battle sequences (especially in the desert), tell me you knew who was fighting who.

It's a big, loud, overdrawn mess.


I totally agree, if I could have made out the fight scenes alone, I might have forgiven some of the other blantant errors made in the making of this film. There were times I couldn't tell the Autobots from the Decepticons, especially in the desert!

Not to mention there's no way I'm taking my kid to see robot nuts!

Supermallet
06-24-09, 03:05 PM
There's a shot in the desert where you see some random robot get their head shot off, then later you see another robot getting its head shot off, and it looks like the same shot of the same robot. I think one was meant to be an Autobot and another a Decepticon, but they looked exactly the same. What happened to these robots being distinctive?

And where was all the transforming? In the first movie, both groups of robots spent a decent amount of time as vehicles, and they used their transforming abilities in combat. In this one, they were pretty much always in robot mode, and never transformed during a fight, except for that one sports car Decepticon at the beginning of the movie.

Really, I watched it at your theater and loved the sound, probably the only 3 things I liked about the movie.

I told our IMAX projectionist about the sound, so they may have tweaked it between my viewing and the public screenings.

And anyone who couldn't see that Mudflap and Skids were black stereotypes must be willfully closing their eyes. The only way it would have been more obvious was if they were in blackface hopping around going, "Yes, massa! I's a gonna do that for ya, massa!"

outcastja
06-24-09, 03:23 PM
And where was all the transforming? In the first movie, both groups of robots spent a decent amount of time as vehicles, and they used their transforming abilities in combat. In this one, they were pretty much always in robot mode, and never transformed during a fight, except for that one sports car Decepticon at the beginning of the movie.


What bugged me was it took Devastator took more time to transform than it took to have his fight with the twins. Then after the fight all he does is climb a pyramid and get blown up by the military.

If you added up the time of Decepticons vs Autobots battling it out, it would probably top 20 minutes at most. And that's inexcusable for a film about their war.

Son of Odin
06-24-09, 03:39 PM
There's a point where sticking too close to the animated source material does not work though... and becomes ridiculous... especially when Bay claims to be shooting for "realism" through his changes to more realistic bot designs and military involvement.

I actually don't think he went far enough "over the top" :) And what we've ended up with is a realistic setting with unrealistic actions.

The Smithsonian Aerospace Museum only has like... 4 guards? Right...
You can put a decepticon in your checked baggage? Right...
You can get high off a pot brownie that small? Right... :)
Where the hell were all the Autobots when Opimus got OWNED by the Decepticons? :)

What I could not believe all the testicle jokes, the "gangsta" twins (which every 18-25 joe schmo white rapper fan will love), and generally lots of potty humor. That brought the film waaay down for me.

That and I don't find Meagan Fox's brand of hot... hot. I'm not big into chicks with no personality that let their titties bounce around for 3 hours. :)

prime never got owned. he killed blackout, ripped starscream's arm off, and beat the living hell out of megatron. the fact it took 3 to kill him is proof that this is the prime we grew up with in the 80's.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 03:42 PM
Prime never got owned? He was killed!

Solid Snake
06-24-09, 03:49 PM
You know what? I liked it. I really did. Yes, some of the gripes here about the dialogue and whatnot but...I liked it. I thought it was better than the 1st one. I could do without the new roommate guy and the stereotype twins..but I really liked it. Will it top my favorite list? No, and I can accept that. It was a big action film with Robots kicking ass and it was fun. Also...the Autobots got little face time...Ratchet was barely there. Was nice to see Arcee too.

CertifiedTHX
06-24-09, 04:12 PM
The action sounds incredible, and Devastator alone seems to be the big reason to see this thing at all. But I left the theater disappointed by the last one, after a year of anticipation, and was pretty much determined to skip any sequels.

Tempted as I've been-- again, really only by Devastator-- I'm going to wait. I can imagine walking out feeling much the same way as I did two years ago.

--THX

Sessa17
06-24-09, 04:16 PM
Is there a lot of profanity in this? Any fucks? Anything obscene? Is there a lot of drug & sex humor? I'm babysitting tomorrow (8 & 10 year old) & was going to take them to see this but their mom is very conservative (she won't let them watch the Dark Knight) & now from what I'm hearing about this movie I'm thinking I shouldn't.

Solid Snake
06-24-09, 04:23 PM
Don't take them. There is actually an amazing amount of cursing in this film..considering that the last one didn't have much at all. Bitch, hell, shit, damn and all it's variations pop up a bit. No fucks though...

Supermallet
06-24-09, 04:36 PM
RC calls Megan Fox a bitch, the dum-dum twins use the word "pussy" continuously, there's more I'm forgetting, I'm sure.

Sessa17
06-24-09, 04:38 PM
Don't take them. There is actually an amazing amount of cursing in this film..considering that the last one didn't have much at all. Bitch, hell, shit, damn and all it's variations pop up a bit. No fucks though...

The cursing isn't that big of a deal, they know bad words are wrong, their mom will have a bigger problem with sex & drug humor.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 04:40 PM
There's a ton of crude sex humor throughout. Don't remember much about drugs, except the pot brownies.

Solid Snake
06-24-09, 04:42 PM
yeah. Pot brownies...could've done without that.

Rypro 525
06-24-09, 04:52 PM
and theres that wonderfull shot of Megan Fox on the motorcycle :drool:

Sessa17
06-24-09, 04:53 PM
Thanks guys, sounds like I'm going to have to pass on taking the kids to see this, which really F'n pisses me off. I didn't like the first movie, but I would have liked to take the kids to see this. Just look at my DVD collection, obviously I'm far from "PC" or conservative in my taste, but I think it's utter crap what Bay seems to have done with this movie. Kids want to see giant trasforming robots blow stuff up, nothing more, & there are millions of adults that are happy with the same. You don't need to throw in loads of sexual content to get 30+ year old men to see see giant robots blowing stuff up. I shouldn't have be worried about explaining what pot is to an 8 year old while seeing a Transormers movie.

thecrackedjack2
06-24-09, 05:02 PM
It's very hard to take serious stock in the movie-going hoards today. Once bad word of mouth starts on a huge picture, it ends up being "the worst movie abomination of all time". The opposite was true last year of TDK. The great word of mouth led people to start calling it, "the greatest movie of all time." Truth, invariably lies somewhere in the middle.

Revenge of the Fallen ends up suffering from the same malady as Matrix: Revolutions. A very engaging summer blockbuster leads to a bloated sequel where it's maker's forget what made the previous movie great in the first place.

I do think some of the complaints against the humor and crudeness are unjustified. Apparently Kevin Smith is a genius for showing a man having intercourse with a horse and South Park is the epoch of humor for giving us a gerbil/hamster (I honestly forget which) crawling up a mans ass.

But, it's not hypocritical at all to ravage Bay for presenting 1/100 of the crudeness in Transformer's that is lauded throughout these forums and internet *sarcasm*. But, I attribute that mainly to mob mentality when dealing with poor reception of a huge summer movie.

The potential was there, but misdirected at the wrong places. Michael Bay would next time do good remember the phrase, "Less is More", the next time he's thinking of upping the ante.

3 stars out of 5

Dr Mabuse
06-24-09, 05:04 PM
yeah. Pot brownies...could've done without that.

Have you ever actually HAD "pot brownies"?

They're pretty cool.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 05:21 PM
It's very hard to take serious stock in the movie-going hoards today. Once bad word of mouth starts on a huge picture, it ends up being "the worst movie abomination of all time". The opposite was true last year of TDK. The great word of mouth led people to start calling it, "the greatest movie of all time." Truth, invariably lies somewhere in the middle.

I didn't notice many people here calling it the worst movie of all time. Just a totally crappy movie.

I do think some of the complaints against the humor and crudeness are unjustified. Apparently Kevin Smith is a genius for showing a man having intercourse with a horse and South Park is the epoch of humor for giving us a gerbil/hamster (I honestly forget which) crawling up a mans ass.

But, it's not hypocritical at all to ravage Bay for presenting 1/100 of the crudeness in Transformer's that is lauded throughout these forums and internet *sarcasm*. But, I attribute that mainly to mob mentality when dealing with poor reception of a huge summer movie.

It's not just the content, but how it's presented. Smith and Parker/Stone are much funnier than Michael Bay. And in those movies, the humor was the point of the films. In this, the humor is just taking away screentime from what we actually want to see: Giant robots kicking butt and characters we care about.

Gizmo
06-24-09, 05:25 PM
I didn't notice many people here calling it the worst movie of all time. Just a totally crappy movie.



It's not just the content, but how it's presented. Smith and Parker/Stone are much funnier than Michael Bay. And in those movies, the humor was the point of the films. In this, the humor is just taking away screentime from what we actually want to see: Giant robots kicking butt and cleavage we care about.

Fixed it for you.

Supermallet
06-24-09, 05:26 PM
No, Bay made sure there was plenty of cleavage on display in this movie.

Aegean2007
06-24-09, 05:53 PM
I never thought about it this way:

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i118/aegean2007/TransFan.jpg

JumpCutz
06-24-09, 05:59 PM
So far 4 people in this poll have given this film a five star rating!! :lol:

Holy Crap! :lol:

Gdrlv
06-24-09, 06:30 PM
I thought the first paragraph of MSNBC's review was pretty funny...


Artist and filmmaker Peter Greenaway once famously noted, “Cinema is far too rich and capable a medium to be merely left to the storytellers.” Still, when he suggested a move away from narrative, I can’t imagine that he was advocating a movie like “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” a cinematic avalanche in which Michael Bay eschews anything resembling plot or characters and instead screams at the audience’s eyes for two and a half hours.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31512193/ns/entertainment-movies/

Gizmo
06-24-09, 06:43 PM
I LOLed

TRANSFORMERS RISE OF THE FALLEN WAS EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER WANT FROM A SUMMER ACTION FLICK IT HAD NON STOP ACTION AND AMAZING SPECIAL EFFECTS! CRITICS ARE JUST WORRIED THAT THIS COULD BE THE FILM THAT COULD COME CLOSE TO THE DARK OVERATED KNIGHT SO THEY HAVE TO GIVE IT TERRIBLE REVIEWS! $400M DOMESTIC IS IN THE BAG FOR THIS SEQUEL!!!!

Shonn
06-24-09, 06:47 PM
It's very hard to take serious stock in the movie-going hoards today. Once bad word of mouth starts on a huge picture, it ends up being "the worst movie abomination of all time". The opposite was true last year of TDK. The great word of mouth led people to start calling it, "the greatest movie of all time." Truth, invariably lies somewhere in the middle.

Revenge of the Fallen ends up suffering from the same malady as Matrix: Revolutions. A very engaging summer blockbuster leads to a bloated sequel where it's maker's forget what made the previous movie great in the first place.

I do think some of the complaints against the humor and crudeness are unjustified. Apparently Kevin Smith is a genius for showing a man having intercourse with a horse and South Park is the epoch of humor for giving us a gerbil/hamster (I honestly forget which) crawling up a mans ass.

But, it's not hypocritical at all to ravage Bay for presenting 1/100 of the crudeness in Transformer's that is lauded throughout these forums and internet *sarcasm*. But, I attribute that mainly to mob mentality when dealing with poor reception of a huge summer movie.

The potential was there, but misdirected at the wrong places. Michael Bay would next time do good remember the phrase, "Less is More", the next time he's thinking of upping the ante.

3 stars out of 5



Agree with almost everything you say. The hypocrisy of people that condemn this for the same humor used in many critically acclaimed movies is hilarious. Just having the name Michael Bay attached to it I knew the reviews wouldn’t be good no matter the quality of the movie. He is not liked by professional reviewers or film geeks because he makes movies for j6p.

As for the movie, I really enjoyed it. The Prime battles alone are worth the price of admission, not to mention Bumble Bee kicking ass as well. I do wish there would have been more new autobots and autobot/decepticon at the end as it seemed more military/decepticon. Also, Megan Fox looked delicious.


ps-thank god for the return of the steadycam in an action move

pinata242
06-24-09, 06:50 PM
Transformers 2 raped my adulthood memories of Transformers 1.

It had a good idea and when it stuck with it it was fine. It was about 40 minutes too long and full of ridiculous juvenile humor. Wrecking balls? Are you fucking serious?

And was that supposed to be Mater from Cars?

valkyrie
06-24-09, 07:11 PM
"Unfortunately this time around, the first film's mistakes have been
exacerbated rather than expunged, while a few of the original's charms
are gone or have been replaced with something dumber and meaner. Free
of the shackles of both Steven Spielberg's guiding hand and any even
vague attempt at reality - <b>'Fallen' indulges Bay's excesses well past
the point of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent
of snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass.</b> This "all money shots, all the
time" approach robs the action of any weight or coherency - leaving
behind sensory white noise that hopes to browbeat its audience into
either submission or boredom."

Ouch (http://www.darkhorizons.com/reviews/944/Transformers-Revenge-of-the-Fallen)

maingon
06-24-09, 07:21 PM
Thanks guys, sounds like I'm going to have to pass on taking the kids to see this, which really F'n pisses me off. I didn't like the first movie, but I would have liked to take the kids to see this. Just look at my DVD collection, obviously I'm far from "PC" or conservative in my taste, but I think it's utter crap what Bay seems to have done with this movie. Kids want to see giant trasforming robots blow stuff up, nothing more, & there are millions of adults that are happy with the same. You don't need to throw in loads of sexual content to get 30+ year old men to see see giant robots blowing stuff up. I shouldn't have be worried about explaining what pot is to an 8 year old while seeing a Transormers movie.

it is rated PG-13. not G or PG. you sound like those adults that take there kids to see a movie because its animated thinking it must be for little kids, even though the movie is actually an movie for adults or isnt geared towards kids.

If you didnt like the first one why would you want to go see this one? and I didnt find anything in this that isnt it any other PG13 movies. there's nothing outragous or anything.

buckee1
06-24-09, 07:28 PM
I was actually underwhelmed by the sound, and in IMAX no less.

I thought so too. I saw it this afternoon on a Christies DLP and while it looked good, it didn't sound as good as it should have imho. I thought the film itself was good not great and it did not live up to the hype of the adverts. Way too much juvenile sex humor and the two "hood" autobots drove me bananas. in no way am I a prude but come on, a sexual joke/ nod here and there ok but, as a constant thread throughout this kind of a film just screams you have nothing else so shoot for the lowest common denominator. Could have been great had they taken a bit more time, fleshed the bots out a bit more and let them do what they do. I was extremely jazzed to see Soundwave though!

Phineas444
06-24-09, 07:40 PM
I did like the little Armagedden nod in the Autobot base.

What was this? I must have missed it. Might have liked the movie better had I noticed.

GenPion
06-24-09, 08:59 PM
I can't believe I'm actually going to see this. A friend of mine is buying the ticket though, as he really wants me to go, so I might as well be a friend. I just hope he hates the movie as much as I will. Then I can bitch to him when the movie credits roll.

Mr. Cinema
06-24-09, 09:06 PM
it is rated PG-13. not G or PG. you sound like those adults that take there kids to see a movie because its animated thinking it must be for little kids, even though the movie is actually an movie for adults or isnt geared towards kids.

If you didnt like the first one why would you want to go see this one? and I didnt find anything in this that isnt it any other PG13 movies. there's nothing outragous or anything.
You think a movie featuring giant robots that's based on a cartoon isn't geared towards kids?

The Cow
06-24-09, 09:11 PM
Just got back from seeing it. Agree there were some things that should have been cut (the room mate, the dogs), but overall I enjoyed it. :shrug:

Brent L
06-24-09, 10:21 PM
I saw it tonight, hated it, awful.

I wanted to enjoy it, I really did. I didn't hate the first one, but this one was just horrible to me. It didn't help matters that it seemed like it was 5 hours long. There are two stretches in this film specifically that seem to go on and on forever with nothing happening, almost as if the film is on a loop skipping over and over again. I'm not quite sure that I've ever moved around in a movie seat or checked my watch as much as I did watching this mess.

I'm not even going to get any more specific right now, maybe later, cause for now I need to sleep this one off.

I will finish this post with one more thought though - just how hard is it to totally screw up such simple concepts? How can professional filmmakers continuously screw up a Transformers movie, a Terminator flick, the entire Aliens vs. Predators story, a Halloween reboot, any of the X-Men based movies, SPIDER-MAN 3 and on and on? Just how is it possible for this to happen so often, in such horribly epic ways?

Ugh.

discostu1337
06-24-09, 10:28 PM
I'll keep this short since people probably won't read this anyways :)

The movie was great, a little long at the end, but great. I got to see giant robots kick ass, had some laughs, and there's a cute girl in it...what's not to like? Will it win an Oscar? Of course not! Was it fun and worth my ticket price? Of course! Go see it and have fun, quit complaining about plot or story or acting, it's a movie about GIANT ROBOTS FROM SPACE...it's ridiculous enough as it is!

Nicholas Vargo
06-24-09, 10:35 PM
[QUOTE=valkyrie;9524257<b>'Fallen' indulges Bay's excesses well past
the point of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent
of snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass.</b>[/QUOTE]

That might be the funniest review quote I've come across for the film so far (and there are some good rivals for it).

I thought Transformers 1 was the worst film of 2007 and a true candidate for the worst film of the decade. The film never gave me the reason to care about anything it was doing. The characters, the robots, their plights. It seemed to never be motivated by anything. And even the action scenes were botched by Bay's insistance of quick cutting and not knowing who was who. And even the visual effects were botched just on the fact that Bay couldn't give anything one moment to be properly shown off. The camera is always moving and it doesn't even let you have a second to appreciate what these bots or explosions look like. That to me made the film look like the most scandalous waste of money I had ever seen thrown at the screen.

I am still hoping that the sequel might be better, but the word doesn't look good. In fact, it looks more likely than not it will be even worse. I'll be giving it a look within the next couple of days to make up my own mind. If nothing else, a really good scathing review will come out of it.

And for the record, I just want to say that I wanted to like Transformers 1 really bad (I have friends and co-workers who look at this movie and tell me it's spectacular) and I was never given a reason too. I really don't see the appeal of it, I really don't. It's a movie that's loud yes, but becomes boring and tedius quite quickly, punctuated by a slew of unnecessary characters (The computer hackers come to mind immediately, as they have no arc whatsoever) and horrible unfunny humor (The masturbation gag between Shia LaBeauf and his parents seems like a direct ripoff of a similar scene in Joe Dante's Small Soldiers, when the parents ask the son if he's on crack. That film might not have been a masterpiece, but it was fun and gave me a reason to care about its characters and situations).

Here's hoping the sequel is better, but my expectations are lowering every few hours, especially now that its out.

pinata242
06-24-09, 10:37 PM
I will say that Transformers 2 was what I thought Transformers 1 would be.

I was pleasantly surprised by the first one and enjoyed it.

I was disappointed with the second one and don't care if I ever see it again. So much potential pissed away.

Maybe it's my fault for not going into this one expecting to hate it too.

I need some Harry Potter soon to wash the taste of this out of my mouth.

mrhan
06-24-09, 10:55 PM
I have to agree with what most have posted here. I thought it was bit long and the WTF moment for me was

the beginning. The last time I checked, Shanghai is part of a communist country. There is no way in hell U.S. armed forces will ever set foot there. I know it's just a movie but that little detail really took me out of the movie. Why couldn't it have been Tokyo or Taiwan?

Supermallet
06-24-09, 11:21 PM
My favorite Twitter comment about it:

"Gratz Michael Bay, you won the big swinging dick contest between you and McG. Problem is, JJ Abrams teabagged you both."

Michael Corvin
06-24-09, 11:40 PM
'Fallen' indulges Bay's excesses well past
the point of reason to deliver the male teenage cinematic equivalent
of snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass.

My favorite Twitter comment about it:

"Gratz Michael Bay, you won the big swinging dick contest between you and McG. Problem is, JJ Abrams teabagged you both."

Both of these are just awesome.

I love how two years ago there were two of us opening week(even during most of it's run) that ripped this movie to shreds and we got our asses reamed for it at the time. Now it's bizarro world in this thread where there are only a handful of people left claiming to like the original.

BullGooseLoony
06-24-09, 11:53 PM
My Review (http://moviesfromeveryangle.wordpress.com/)

toddly6666
06-25-09, 12:23 AM
You are all nuts. For a movie about toys and for fans of the comic book and cartoon, Transformers 2 was great! If you aren't a fan of Transformers, then yes, the movie is stupid. But for Transformers fans, it was pretty awesome!

PROS:
1. Optimus Prime
2. Wheelie
3. Bumblebee
4. Ravage
5. Soundwave (at least his infamous voice was replaced with another infamous one)
6. Jetfire
7. Starscream and Megatron relationship
8. Devastator w/the balls. It's not a big deal - I interpreted this mega-sized Decepticon as a robot bull dog. It moved like one and had balls like one.
9. the fembot
10. gremlin Decepticons

CONS:
1. too long
2. boring villain Fallen
3. Megan Fox' annoying plastic lips dipped in bucket of gloss and she is a bad actress and she is skanky porn hot only. I don't think I've ever seen such an obnoxious actress in a such a long time.

NOT ANNOYING:
1. the hispanic twins. Come on, give me a break. The Transformers all had personalities this time! They are supposed to have cartoon personalities!
2. the humor. Very funny - the way it's supposed to be. Transformers is not supposed to be all serious. Both Transfomers films would be boring without the Bay humor.

GenPion
06-25-09, 12:28 AM
This movie was so awful I don't even want to discuss it right now. I just had to add this comment so others know that, yes, another person has seen it and hated it. If you were on the fence about seeing this then please head these negative review warnings and don't see this.

slop101
06-25-09, 12:30 AM
Film Freak probably has the best Transformers2 review (http://www.filmfreakcentral.net/screenreviews/transformers2.htm) I've read.

He eviscerates it with great eloquence, putting in more effort than the movie deserves.

TheMovieman
06-25-09, 01:11 AM
Just to see, I calculated the ratings (weighted average) here and it comes to a 2.96/5 or 5.9/10.

rabbit77
06-25-09, 01:17 AM
I'm really happy for my cousin - he made the cut as an extra. Now I have to at least get the blu ray.

Mike86
06-25-09, 01:27 AM
I don't know what to really say about this movie I guess. I didn't necessarily hate it but I didn't think it was as good as the first movie either. To me this movie felt like it just dragged on forever. The first one didn't feel that way to me even though it was almost as long. I wasn't exactly going into this expecting a lot but it really wasn't even close to as fun/good as I thought it would be.

jdslater1
06-25-09, 01:59 AM
What was this? I must have missed it. Might have liked the movie better had I noticed.

It was only a very small thing that wouldn't have changed the whole film if you had noticed it!

When you first see the Armardilo in that hanger they had a load of pointy things on the floor (even Bay didn't know what they were in his commentary). They had the same pointy things in the Autobot base.
Kinda like they shared stuff.
That's the thing, they take the time to put these little things in there, and screw up everything else.


In regards to them leaving the musuem and going straight to the aircraft graveyard, the only way that would have made sense is that Jetfire used the spacebridge. But he didn't mention it.

Supermallet
06-25-09, 02:24 AM
You are all nuts. For a movie about toys and for fans of the comic book and cartoon, Transformers 2 was great! If you aren't a fan of Transformers, then yes, the movie is stupid. But for Transformers fans, it was pretty awesome!

I am a Transformers fan. Watched the show. Watched the original movie. Loved the 2007 film. Hated this one.

PROS:
8. Devastator w/the balls. It's not a big deal - I interpreted this mega-sized Decepticon as a robot bull dog. It moved like one and had balls like one.
9. the fembot
10. gremlin Decepticons

You're seriously putting the Devastator balls as a PRO?! I can see that being one of your "not annoying" things, but an actual pro?? I guess you really are the target audience for this movie.

Also, the Fembot bothered me as it opens the film up to Terminator territory. If they can make robots look and act like humans, why not just replace everyone around Sam with robots? Also, earlier in the film Ironhide says he can "smell" a nearby Decepticon. If these robots really can detect each other, why doesn't Bumblebee react when the fembot gets into him? Why doesn't she react when she realizes she's sitting in an Autobot? I could see her not reacting in order to maintain her disguise, but it's clear Bumblebee only reacts to her as a hot chick, because the whole scene is about him trying to convince Sam not to cheat.

Did I miss these Gremlin decepticons?

CONS:
3. Megan Fox' annoying plastic lips dipped in bucket of gloss and she is a bad actress and she is skanky porn hot only. I don't think I've ever seen such an obnoxious actress in a such a long time.

So robot balls are a "pro" but Megan Fox is a "con"? I think I'm seeing a pattern...

NOT ANNOYING:
1. the hispanic twins. Come on, give me a break. The Transformers all had personalities this time! They are supposed to have cartoon personalities!
2. the humor. Very funny - the way it's supposed to be. Transformers is not supposed to be all serious. Both Transfomers films would be boring without the Bay humor.

They're not meant to be hispanic, they're meant to be black. And they're really offensive.

The first movie had good humor, this one only had the parents to make it funny. The rest of the humor made me groan all the way through.

Ronnie Dobbs
06-25-09, 02:29 AM
Soundwave never uses English, he only speaks in the Transformers' native language.



I loved the first movie. Read my HD DVD review. I gave the movie 4 stars. It's a really really really good movie.


NOTE TO SELF: Don't read Supermallets reviews ever.

Supermallet
06-25-09, 02:32 AM
Yes, because heaven forbid I should have my own opinions on movies. What happens when I love a movie you also love? Does that mean you'll have to start hating that movie because I also like a movie that you hate?

jdslater1
06-25-09, 02:55 AM
I thought Soundwave sounded like Dr Claw (Inspector Gadget) more than cartoon Soundwave. But that is Frank Welker for you.

And yes I know he done the orginal voice!

RD1973
06-25-09, 03:26 AM
Damn, look at the poll results. They're all over the place.

I haven't seen the movie yet. I'll be watching it on Sunday. But at this point, I have no hope of it being good. Its pure morbid curiosity.

I just saw the first one again since getting it on dvd. Its ok, but it feels like you could easily remove half an hour and it would be much better.

Apparently, the new one could lose a whole hour. Maybe someone will give us a pair of phantom edits.

By the way, how much more footage is there in the IMAX version. I have to travel about an hour to see it on IMAX. Should I bother?

starman9000
06-25-09, 06:44 AM
Hated the first one, but the nephews wanted to go to this so I went last night. It seemed like the same movie to me, I may have even liked it a little more, which isn't saying much. I guess I don't get why it's getting worse reviews than the first, except for the been there, done that factor of seeing the robots for the first time. The goofy twins were terrible, but the crowd was rolling with them. I figured this would not make a ton of money off of early reviews, but judging by the group last night, it'll still rake it in.

stingermck
06-25-09, 07:08 AM
I'm very interested to read the inevitable "what would you change in Transformers 2?" thread.

Sanjuro37
06-25-09, 07:10 AM
I don't know which movie I hated more this year: Terminator Salvation or this. The only thing remotely redeemable about this film was Peter Cullen's voice acting. Everyone else's voice acting was all over the place and it was racist, sexist and piggishly American (only the US President made a pact with the aliens? Only the Americans can call on them? Oh, and like five British people because at least they speak English. That's God's language!). The action is crap with terrible direction, worse editing and unidentifiable goings-on among the robots. And the dialogue is either super expositional or endlessly unfunny one-liners that are all totally inappropriate for a film that's meant for children (and I grew up with fucking Ren & Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life), and it's even worse coming out of the actors.

Oh, and Megan Fox looks like the alien chick from Species had a lesbian relationship with Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and somehow they had a child which was then fed only a diet of spray-on tan products. That's the hottest woman in the world? Do people masturbate to fish now? Fuck I hated this movie so much.

BullGooseLoony
06-25-09, 07:13 AM
I thought Soundwave sounded like Dr Claw (Inspector Gadget) more than cartoon Soundwave. But that is Frank Welker for you.

And yes I know he done the orginal voice! Lol me too! It was very distracting.

iggystar
06-25-09, 07:14 AM
Don't take them. There is actually an amazing amount of cursing in this film..considering that the last one didn't have much at all. Bitch, hell, shit, damn and all it's variations pop up a bit. No fucks though...


and "suck the sack", really?

I was going to take my daughter, but after it was all said and done I decided against it.

atlantamoi
06-25-09, 07:27 AM
First flick was my least favorite of '07, so you couldn't drag me to #2.

Here's some of the best bad review quotes"

http://www.movieline.com/2009/06/the-9-most-scathing-critical-responses-to-transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen.php

"“Terry Schiavo would have been bored by this bloated, ponderous piece of shit.” — Devin Faraci, CHUD"

:lol:

outcastja
06-25-09, 07:38 AM
By the way, how much more footage is there in the IMAX version. I have to travel about an hour to see it on IMAX. Should I bother?

I was disappointed by the amount of IMAX scenes, it seems to take forever for the first IMAX scene which was the forest battle which was one of the only things I liked about the film. Then you again wait forever for about like 5 minutes of IMAX footage at the end sequence. It's also kind of annoying because there's like 2 second shots entered randomly of IMAX footage and would switch back.

Stu 17
06-25-09, 07:52 AM
Transformers 2 raped my adulthood memories of Transformers 1.

It had a good idea and when it stuck with it it was fine. It was about 40 minutes too long and full of ridiculous juvenile humor. Wrecking balls? Are you fucking serious?

And was that supposed to be Mater from Cars?

Wait, Transformers 2 raped your adulthood memories of Transformers 1, yet your biggest complaint is the wrecking balls? Do you not remember Bubblebee taking a leak on the S7 agents?

Michael Corvin
06-25-09, 07:55 AM
Wait, Transformers 2 raped your adulthood memories of Transformers 1, yet your biggest complaint is the wrecking balls? Do you not remember Bubblebee taking a leak on the S7 agents?

Yeah, that raped his childhood, try and keep up. ;)

Brent L
06-25-09, 08:31 AM
I'm one of the most anti-PC people around, and I fully think that morons take that crap too far. Now with that said, even I had to say "come on now" when I saw the Twins, and it only got worse as it went on. I'm not so much sure if it was just because of how over the top they were, or just the fact that the comedy was way too juvenile, I'm not sure. I think it was a mixture of both. I will say that when one of the Twins says "we don't do much readin'" that I did raise my eyebrows a little bit:

http://chud.com/articles/articles/19917/1/TRANSFORMERS039-LITTLE-BLACK-SAMBOTS/Page1.html

http://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/twins1.jpghttp://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/twins2.jpg

I am not a PC person. Those who know me in real life will attest that if an off-color, offensive or wildly juvenile joke needs to be made it'll likely be me making it. I think people are too sensitive in the modern world, and I don't think any topic is off-limits when it comes to laughs.

That said, even I was stupefied by what I saw in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen's Twins. These new robots, who begin the film conjoined as a shitty old ice cream truck but who soon get upgraded into Chevy concept cars, seem to be the most extreme racial caricatures seen in a movie in decades. The Twins have a simian appearance, with wide faces and huge ears. One of them (full disclosure: I am not sure which is which, namewise. This isn't a problem limited to just these robots in Transformers 2 as I couldn't tell most robots apart, except for Optimus Prime and Bumblebee) has a gold bucktooth. They have a 'playful' back and forth relationship, which includes them talking in some sort of modern day rap-age jive, calling each other 'bitch-ass' or 'punk,' talking with an exaggerated, crunked-up 'street' accent. They appear to be stoned all the time. And they can't read; when asked to translate some ancient Cybertronian language they sheepishly admit they 'don't do much readin'.' To be fair, only Primes can read this language, but even the completely idiotic mini-bot (and Italian stereotype) Wheelie can at least recognize what the writing is. The Twins are completely illiterate, it seems. I was actually surprised that the film didn't find a way to make them wear a Transformers version of baggy pants.

To be completely shocked by this is admittedly kind of foolish. Quite a bit was made of Jazz, the black Autobot in the first film, who did a breakdance move and got killed. But The Twins make Jazz look like a paragon of taste, and they make Jar Jar Binks look like he belongs in a production of A Raisin in the Sun. Simply put they are offensive beyond measure, and if their names were Stepin and Fetchit I could maybe argue that they were a joke or a bit of meta-commentary or anything except horrible, horrible racial stereotypes.

At the press conference for the film I asked writer Alex Kurtzman about the characters. 'I think a lot of what we did was following Michael's lead,' he said. 'Those characters, more than any other, he had the strongest instinct for. Our job was to keep up with him.'

Buck passed! So then it was all Michael Bay's idea to have these shucking and jiving bots, right?

Not so fast. Bay was eager to give all the credit for the Twins to Tom Kenny, the (white) voice actor. 'When you work with voice actors, especially with the twins, they did a lot of improv for their parts. We liked their improv and, from there, we would animate to their stuff. When you're doing character animation and you're building the character, it's not like an actor where you shoot the scene and you've got it and you move on. With animation, you get the dialogue and then some animation and then a bit more of the dialogue and you keep going back and forth and it just builds until you have the shot you want.'

(For the record, Bay mentions a second voice actor while IMDB lists Kenny as the voice of both bots)

Bay went on to say that his vision of the Twins is that he wanted bots with whom the younger audience could really identify, and the funny thing is that I actually believe him. I don't think he set out to make two grotesque caricatures; I think he honestly believes these characters reflect some aspect of youth culture and not just a cartoony, broad vision of black youth. Bay's films have never been all that racially sensitive (and blacks aren't the only group to take a hit in this film; as mentioned above, Wheelie is a flat-out dago, even going so far as to refer to ancient Transformer Jetfire as 'da Chairman of da Board,' and there's some choice Arabic humor in the film as well), but the Twins surely represent an all-time low.

Would they have been as offensive if Bay had gotten a black actor for the voices? There certainly would be less of a feeling of weirdness if Katt Williams had come in for some shucking and jiving, although it would still have been... off. Bay's defense seems to be that Tom Kenny came in and just Sambo'd it up, as if he had no way of knowing what sort of racially insensitive schtick the actor would bring. That's hugely unlikely; Bay isn't prisoner to the whims of his actors, especially not a voice actor.

What the whole Twins debacle really reveals, though, is the sheer lack of adult supervision on this film. Transformers 2 is hugely bloated, incoherent, stupid and boring, seemingly all because Bay was free to indulge in his most Bayish impulses. The first film is rescued by the restraining hand of Spielberg; that hand is noticeably gone here. It's stunning to think that anyone in the 21st century looked at the character designs of the Twins or listened to the voice tracks and thought that this was 'okay.'

Totally off topic, but when that one guy hit the roommate with the taser to knock him out because he was acting like such a wimp, did I miss a scene or something? Did the IMAX showing have a scene not in the normal theatrical version? Because he got knocked out cold, and like the very next scene just a second later had the guy getting out of the car perfectly fine with only a quick mention of him being tased.

pinata242
06-25-09, 08:36 AM
Tom Kenny? As in Spongebob Squarepants?

Honest to god, that makes this even worse.

Mopower
06-25-09, 08:36 AM
http://io9.com/5301898/michael-bay-finally-made-an-art-movie

Michael Bay Finally Made An Art Movie
By Charlie Jane Anders, 9:00 AM on Wed Jun 24 2009, 45,001 views (Edit post, Set to draft, Slurp)

Critical consensus on Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is overwhelmingly negative. But the critics are wrong. Michael Bay used a squillion dollars and a hundred supercomputers' worth of CG for a brilliant art movie about the illusory nature of plot.

Oh, and I would warn you that there'll be spoilers in this review — except that, really, since I still have no idea what actually happened in this movie, I'm not sure how much I can spoil it.

Since the days of Un Chien Andalou and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, filmmakers have reached beyond meaning. But with this summer's biggest, loudest movie, Michael Bay takes us all the way inside Caligari's cabinet. And once you enter, you can never emerge again. I saw this movie two days ago, and I'm still living inside it. Things are exploding wherever I look, household appliances are trying to kill me, and bizarre racial stereotypes are shouting at me.

Transformers: ROTF has mostly gotten pretty hideous reviews, but that's because people don't understand that this isn't a movie, in the conventional sense. It's an assault on the senses, a barrage of crazy imagery. Imagine that you went back in time to the late 1960s and found Terry Gilliam, fresh from doing his weird low-fi collage/animations for Monty Python. You proceeded to inject Gilliam with so many steroids his penis shrank to the size of a hair follicle, and you smushed a dozen tabs of LSD under his tongue. And then you gave him the GDP of a few sub-Saharan countries. Gilliam might have made a movie not unlike this one.

And the true genius of Transformers: ROTF is that Bay has put all of this excess of imagery and random ideas at the service of the most pandering movie genre there is: the summer movie. ROTF is like twenty summer movies, with unrelated storylines, smushed together into one crazy whole. You try in vain to understand how the pieces fit, you stare into the cracks between the narrative strands, until the cracks become chasms and the chasms become an abyss into which you stare until it looks deep into your own soul, and then you go insane. You. Do. Not. Leave. The Cabinet.

Michael Bay understands that summer movies are about two things: male anxiety, and pure id. That's why he casts Shia LaBoeuf, that supreme avatar of pure male inadequacy, in the lead role. LaBoeuf projects a pathetic, wall-eyed dorkhood, when he's not babbling like a tumor removed from Woody Allen's prostate that somehow achieved sentience. I imagine the DVD of ROTF will include a whole disk of outtakes where they had to stop filming because LaBoeuf was drooling on camera. As it is, the film includes several extreme closeups of LaBoeuf's dazed stare.

Where was I? Oh yes. So LaBoeuf, who's actually a fine actor, is the stand-in for the male viewers' greatest fears about themselves. No matter how great a loser they might be, they can't be as losery a loser as Sam Witwicky. And yet, Sam has awesome giant robots stomping around telling him he's the most important awesome person ever. And he has the hottest girlfriend in the universe, Megan Fox, for whom banality is a huge aphrodisiac. The more pathetic Sam gets, the more Fox's lips pout and her nipples point, like little Irish setters.

To make matters more awesome for the insecure males in the audience, Sam actually tosses aside his giant robot fanclub and his walking-pinup girlfriend, so he can have a normal life. Of course, this only leads to other robots and hawt chicks (who turn out to be robots too) throwing themselves at him and telling him how important he is. In the end, everybody learns to appreciate Sam just a bit more than they already did, and a booming voice tells him he's earned the "matrix of leadership" through his courage and stuff.

And then there's the "id" part, which is the part where stuff blows up real good, and huge machines smash each other up. And every single performance is so ridiculous that it looks down on "over the top" as if from a great height. It's the part of your brain that thinks it would be awesome to see robots with giant dangling testicles, or hot chicks turning into robot tentacle monsters, or "ghetto" robots that talk in inept hip-hop slang and smash each other playfully, or funny Jewish men who talk about their "schmear" and randomly strip to their G-strings. Is that going too far? Then let's go 100 times farther than that and see what happens!

Transformers: ROTF is so long, you'll need to wear adult diapers to it. But the movie's pure celebration of the primal urge, and unfiltered living, will make you rejoice in your adult diapers. You'll relieve yourself in your seat with a savage joy, your barbaric yawp blending in with the crowd's screams of excitement.

And yet — and here's the part where I really think ROTF approaches "art movie" status — the movie's id overload reaches such crazy levels that the fabric of reality itself starts to break down. Michael Bay has boasted about how every single shot in the movie has so much stuff going on in it, it would take your PC since the dawn of time to render one frame. After a few hours of this assault, you feel the chair melt and the floor of the movie theater becomes an angry mirror into your soul. Nothing is solid, nothing is real, everything Transforms.

The closest thing I can think of to this movie is the Wachowskis' Speed Racer, which had a similar kind of CG image overload, although it was only five hours long as opposed to ROTF's nine.

And around hour six of ROTF, something curious happens: the two components — male enhancement and pure id — start to clash, badly. Usually, in a summer movie, the two aspects go together like tits and ass: Jason Statham plays someone who faces the same insecurities as regular dudes, but he overcomes them, and in the process he blows up everything in the world. But creating that kind of fusion requires enslaving the id to the male enhancement, and that in turn means only going way over the top instead of crazy, stratospheric over the top. Michael Bay is not willing to settle for going way over the top, like other directors.

So you have a movie that tries to reassure men that they can actually be masters of their reality — but then turns around and says that actually, reality is not real. There's no such thing as the "real world," and the only thing that's left for men to dominate is a nebulous domain of blurred shapes, which occasionally blurt nonsensical swear-words and slang from ethnic groups that have never existed. If you're drowning in an Olympic swimming pool full of hot chewing gum fondue, do you still care if Megan Fox likes you?

So yes, ROTF approaches the sublime, and then just keeps rocketing. Next stop: total anarchy. In a sense, it's the first war movie ever to convey a real sense of the fog of war, the confusion that comes with battle. Somewhere around hour nine, you will understand why friendly fire happens in wartime.

So I've gotten almost all the way through this review, and I still haven't summarized the movie's plot. Here goes. It's a couple years after the first movie, and Sam is going off to college, leaving his transforming car and his hot girlfriend, whom he still hasn't told he loves her. And meanwhile, the soldiers from the first movie are running around with a bunch of late-model GM cars and trucks, which turn into robots and fight other robots sometimes. Sam sees weird symbols which make no sense (and they still make no sense at the end of the movie) and they turn out to be the key to the location of a thing that can control another thing, that will enable the bad guys to destroy the sun. Sam has to embrace the heroic destiny he's rejected, so he can save us all from solarcide.

But that bare plot summary doesn't include the twenty or thirty other storylines that could also claim to be the movie's plot. There's the whole thing where someone from Washington D.C. wonders why the U.S. military is running around the globe with a bunch of late-model GM cars from outer space, and tries to put the kibosh on the military-Autobot complex. There's the teenager who's got a conspiracy website, that competes with another conpsiracy website which turns out to be the work of a secret agent who's decided that the best way to keep things secret is to put them on a website. (It works. I post secret stuff on io9 all the time.) Various robots die and then come back to life, and there's a whole strand about whether Decepticons (the bad ones) can become Autobots (the good ones). And there's the Fallen, who's sort of the movie's villain even though he barely shows up. And people from 17,000 BC who had weird teeth and fought robots. And the ancient Egyptians did stuff. And Sam's parents go to France except that they meet a robot and then they're in Egypt.

Really, I could go on and on. This movie starts out with a coherent storyline, for the first half hour or so, and then it just starts to spin faster and faster until the centrifuge of random events slams you into the walls. It doesn't help that there are 500 robots in the movie and they all look kind of the same.

Oh, but that's the other thing about ROTF. It's actually quite funny, a lot of the time. Some of the jokes fall flat, like the "twin" robots with the ghetto speak, and a lot of the stuff with John Turturro. But the movie's relentless silliness is mostly pretty hilarious, in a Saturday morning cartoon kind of way, and almost nothing in the movie seems intended to be taken seriously.

So, to sum up: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is one of the greatest achievements in the history of cinema, if not the greatest. You could easily argue that cinema, as an artform, has all been leading up to this. It will destabilize your limbic system, probably forever, and make you doubt the solidity of your surroundings. Generations of auteurs have struggled, in vain, to create a cinematic experience as overwhelming, and as liberating, as ROTF.

Women as well as men, everyone watching this film will feel the dissolution of all their certainties, all their illusory grasp on the world... but after you fall into a brazen despair that the walls of reality have become toxic ice cream of a million flavors, you will gasp with a greater realization: that once the world is reduced, forever, to a kaleidoscope of whirling shapes, you are totally free. Nothing matters, effect precedes cause, fish spawn in mid-air, and you can do whatever you want. Let yourself go in your adult diaper, Michael Bay invites you. Feel the music of total excess stir inside your deepest core. It is your Allspark, your cube. And you are a Transformer.

starman9000
06-25-09, 08:40 AM
and "suck the sack", really?

I was going to take my daughter, but after it was all said and done I decided against it.

Yeah, I cringed at a lot of those.

Brent L
06-25-09, 08:40 AM
Tom Kenny? As in Spongebob Squarepants?

Honest to god, that makes this even worse.

Yeah really.

My favorite part of that entire article is this:

Bay went on to say that his vision of the Twins is that he wanted bots with whom the younger audience could really identify, and the funny thing is that I actually believe him. I don't think he set out to make two grotesque caricatures; I think he honestly believes these characters reflect some aspect of youth culture and not just a cartoony, broad vision of black youth.

stingermck
06-25-09, 08:41 AM
Im kinda glad I was never much of a Transformers fan, so I can sit back and laugh at all this.

Now come August though I will be like this when GI Joe comes out.

pinata242
06-25-09, 08:46 AM
Wait, Transformers 2 raped your adulthood memories of Transformers 1, yet your biggest complaint is the wrecking balls? Do you not remember Bubblebee taking a leak on the S7 agents?

The difference here is the sheer number of instances of crap like this in this movie. Yes, TF1 did have it's share of juvenile humor, but what's in this movie is just too much and too over-the-top.

You can defend Devastator's scrotum-less testicles all you want. There is absolutely no reason to include them, let alone a line about them. In fact, it's probably John Tutorro's fault since he said that line long before the effects were done. I'm sure the VFX guys just ran with it. How it got past any sort of review committee is well beyond me.

Superboy
06-25-09, 08:52 AM
The difference here is the sheer number of instances of crap like this in this movie. Yes, TF1 did have it's share of juvenile humor, but what's in this movie is just too much and too over-the-top.

You can defend Devastator's scrotum-less testicles all you want. There is absolutely no reason to include them, let alone a line about them. In fact, it's probably John Tutorro's fault since he said that line long before the effects were done. I'm sure the VFX guys just ran with it. How it got past any sort of review committee is well beyond me.

When you make several movies that rake in several bazillion dollars, you can start telling people what goes in your movie.

That goes for the director as well as the writers.

pinata242
06-25-09, 08:53 AM
I'm with you there. My choices are "take it" or "leave it".

I've made my choice.

toddly6666
06-25-09, 09:05 AM
I guess you really are the target audience for this movie.

Kids are the target audience. Why would you expect it to be a mature film for us adults? You and I are out of the target range. The more childrens movies you watch and have expectations of them being good films, the more disappointed you will be.

Also, the Fembot bothered me as it opens the film up to Terminator territory. If they can make robots look and act like humans, why not just replace everyone around Sam with robots? Also, earlier in the film Ironhide says he can "smell" a nearby Decepticon. If these robots really can detect each other, why doesn't Bumblebee react when the fembot gets into him? Why doesn't she react when she realizes she's sitting in an Autobot?

This is called nitpicking. This is a movie based on a comic book/cartoon about alien talking robots that transform. You can nitpick The Wrestler or The Reader, but nitpicking about a kid's movie is like nitpicking the Garfield movie or Dragonball Z.

Did I miss these Gremlin decepticons?

The little transformers in Sam's house that Bumblebee eventually destroys.

So robot balls are a "pro" but Megan Fox is a "con"? I think I'm seeing a pattern...

Yes, I like balls more than a skanky actress...I said Devastator w/balls was a plus, not just the balls alone. The balls were shown for just a couple seconds, which were not distracting. Where else could the wrecking balls hang in robot mode? haha.... Megan Fox trying to act hot was distracting. In the first one, she was just acting natural and was hot. In the sequel, she was trying to hard and came off as annoying. The fembot was the hotter one this time around.

They're not meant to be hispanic, they're meant to be black. And they're really offensive.

All the reviews say that they are stereotypical hispanic. I guess you think the Star Wars movies are pretty offensive as well then.

iggystar
06-25-09, 09:12 AM
Yeah, I cringed at a lot of those.

Then as for all of those who didn't know what "suck the sack" meant, they had to elaborate to explain it to the 11-year olds in the audience, who didn't need to learn it from ROTF in the first place.

Mopower, that's the single, greatest review ever. It almost made it worth me seeing the movie for myself.

outcastja
06-25-09, 09:22 AM
Kids are the target audience. Why would you expect it to be a mature film for us adults? You and I are out of the target range. The more childrens movies you watch and have expectations of them being good films, the more disappointed you will be.

This is called nitpicking. This is a movie based on a comic book/cartoon about alien talking robots that transform. You can nitpick The Wrestler or The Reader, but nitpicking about a kid's movie is like nitpicking the Garfield movie or Dragonball Z.



How is this a kid's movie? It's a PG-13 movie, deals with a lot of topics that would go over kids heads, like drug and sex references. Do you think kids will get the pot brownie joke? Most people that are in their 20s grew up watching Transformers. Kids today grow up watching Miley Cyrus, Harry Potter, Spongebob etc, so these movies are probably their first exposure to the Transformers universe. Do you think it made 16 million on just midnight showings alone because kids wanted to see it at that time? It's a summer blockbuster movie, it caters to the same audience that went to see Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Dark Knight, etc.

toddly6666
06-25-09, 09:31 AM
How is this a kid's movie? It's a PG-13 movie, deals with a lot of topics that would go over kids heads, like drug and sex references. Do you think kids will get the pot brownie joke? Most people that are in their 20s grew up watching Transformers. Kids today grow up watching Miley Cyrus, Harry Potter, Spongebob etc, so these movies are probably their first exposure to the Transformers universe. Do you think it made 16 million on just midnight showings alone because kids wanted to see it at that time? It's a summer blockbuster movie, it caters to the same audience that went to see Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Dark Knight, etc.

Transformers (from G1 to Beast Wars to New Animated) has been on tv since the early 80s. This movie is not just for the G1 80s generation. Adults like kids movies, but the action, writing, storyline is marketed towards kids. Transformers 2 is basically a two and half hour video game. And concerning drugs and sex, this movie isn't a PG-rated film. PG-13 movies have always had touchy issues in it, but it's still marketed towards kids. What PG-13 film doesn't touch upon sex, drugs, and violence?

stingermck
06-25-09, 09:37 AM
Ok, weve all seen the photo, and this is too funny:

A young lovestruck rose bearer who was snubbed by Megan Fox at the London premiere of the Transformers sequel is a wanted teenager - Kodak bosses want to give him $5,000 (£3,300) and make his dream of meeting the actress come true.

Officials at the photo company are offering a reward to anyone who can identify the kid, dubbed 'Rose boy', who tried in vain to hand a yellow flower to Fox - and was photographed by agencies all over the world.

Kodak bosses have offered to fly the kid and his family to Hollywood, where he'll meet the pin-up.

Leslie Dance, Vice President of Kodak's Worldwide Brand Marketing & Communications, tells PerezHilton.com, "It's amazing how just a photograph can connect and change the lives of two complete strangers. If this photo is any indication, this boy was really hoping to meet Megan Fox and give her that rose, and we'd love to help make his fantastical wish come true."

Fox has already issued a heartfelt apology to the unknown boy, claiming she was blinded by paparazzi flashbulbs at the London screening of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen earlier this month - and she didn't see him.

She told Collider.com, "I feel so sad for him. That's so terrible. That kills me. There were, like, 80 million people everywhere. It's dark, all I see are flashes. Everyone's yelling different things... and I didn't know that was happening.

"If you know his name, I will send him a personal apology. I'm horrified. I would never do that. I'm sorry, sweet boy. I would never do that to you, and I would gladly accept your rose if I see you again."

Artman
06-25-09, 09:40 AM
I had fun with it... basically more of the first imo. Yeah, the 2nd half dragged a bit, it could've used some trimming... the humor wasn't too bad, I expected more based on the reviews actually. Bring on part 3!

pinata242
06-25-09, 09:42 AM
He needs to respond that he's "fresh out of roses to offer her, but he's got a cherry".

Brent L
06-25-09, 09:43 AM
Ok, weve all seen the photo, and this is too funny:

http://transformerslive.blogspot.com/2009/06/megan-fox-talks-flower-kid.html

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/06/page_2.bmp

pinata242
06-25-09, 09:44 AM
No way that kid is almost 26.

Brent L
06-25-09, 09:45 AM
It says in the article and in his profile over on the right that he is 11, so I guess he lied about his DOB on FB.

I'm still not convinced he's only 11 though.

pinata242
06-25-09, 09:46 AM
:lol: Yeah, somewhere in the middle.

Superboy
06-25-09, 10:06 AM
That was fucking hilarious.

Anyway, my friends are really looking forward to this movie, which is funny because they hated the first movie.

Gunde
06-25-09, 10:12 AM
For a movie about toys.....
Why the hell is that always a valid excuse for making crap!?

The Black
06-25-09, 10:23 AM
I enjoyed the first, but this was just a disaster.
A couple of enjoyable moments, but the rest was utter crap.
Stereotypes were made 10 times more apparent in this movie, to the point where I even felt a sense of shame.

Against all review I decided to give it a try, wish I would've listened!

slop101
06-25-09, 10:25 AM
Loved the 2007 film. Hated this one.This is what's inexplicable to me.

I could honestly take your review of the second Transformers and apply it almost verbatim to my views of the first one. They are both very, VERY bad films. Sure, the second one may be worse, but let's not fool ourselves here; they're both massive pieces of shit that exist on the same plane. And I don't understand how one can reconcile loving one and hating the other when they both suck to varying degrees but for pretty much the same reasons.

Brent L
06-25-09, 10:29 AM
I liked the first one and hated this one.

I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I do love the concept of a Transformers live action film, so as I watched the first one that first time on the big screen I ignored a lot of the crap just because I was interested in the robots and the fights and everything.

I've only seen the first one that single time, so I'd be willing to bet that if I went back to watch it I'd likely hate it now also.

iggystar
06-25-09, 10:37 AM
I liked the first one and hated this one.

I've only seen the first one that single time, so I'd be willing to bet that if I went back to watch it I'd likely hate it now also.

Sometimes my second opinion about a movie comes when it's aired on cable. There will be a movie that I didn't really care for, but when it hits HBO, I find myself watching it all the time. I think, perhaps I judged the movie too harshly at first, or there was at least something fun that I missed on the first go around.

Or like Dark Knight, I've seen it about eight times since it began the HBO rotation.

I liked the first Transformers, but didn't watch one second when it hit cable. I wasn't curious enough to even give it some time while lazily channel surfing. I'm thinking I didn't like it as much as I thought.

RichC2
06-25-09, 10:50 AM
I liked Transformers and TDK more once they hit HBO.

It's weird when you realize you just accidentally watched 2 hours of a movie you meant to watch 5 minutes of. (Especially TDK when there is almost no good point to tune out.)

Michael Corvin
06-25-09, 10:53 AM
So, those that have seen it, how obnoxious was the product placement in this movie? I know Chevy is a given, but what else do we have to look forward to?

sauce07
06-25-09, 11:15 AM
I thought the movie was okay, nothing too memorable. I still felt the action was filmed way to close and it was hard to tell what was going on, especially during the end. The pot brownie scene was just horrible and way too over the top. The twins are way too over the top racist.
May still go see it again at the Udvar Hazy Imax just so I can sit in a theater and see the building im in on a big screen (i live about 2 miles away). Speaking of the Air and Space scene, Northern Virginia doesn't have large mountains or a desert like environment.

starman9000
06-25-09, 11:16 AM
So, those that have seen it, how obnoxious was the product placement in this movie? I know Chevy is a given, but what else do we have to look forward to?

It wasn't so bad, there was a major Garmin shot. And a Dyson ball vacuum thingy.


Well, I guess if you consider the military a product, there was some major product placement for them :)

Defiant1
06-25-09, 11:39 AM
Soundwave never uses English, he only speaks in the Transformers' native language.

Are there different versions? I saw the IMAX version last night and Soundwave spoke English. I enjoyed the movie for what it was. The IMAX scenes were pretty cool.

toddly6666
06-25-09, 12:03 PM
Are there different versions? I saw the IMAX version last night and Soundwave spoke English. I enjoyed the movie for what it was. The IMAX scenes were pretty cool.

the only time soundwave speaks cybertronian is when he calls Sam's mom.

Mr. Cinema
06-25-09, 12:30 PM
How is this a kid's movie? It's a PG-13 movie, deals with a lot of topics that would go over kids heads, like drug and sex references. Do you think kids will get the pot brownie joke? Most people that are in their 20s grew up watching Transformers. Kids today grow up watching Miley Cyrus, Harry Potter, Spongebob etc, so these movies are probably their first exposure to the Transformers universe. Do you think it made 16 million on just midnight showings alone because kids wanted to see it at that time? It's a summer blockbuster movie, it caters to the same audience that went to see Iron Man, Indiana Jones, Dark Knight, etc.
But why does a movie about fighting robots have to have drug and sex references? This franchise is based on a FUCKING cartoon! Kids like Transformers. There's been recent Transformers cartoons for today's kids as well. I wonder who all the toys are being marketed towards?

You are extremely naive if you think this movie's main audience isn't kids.

pinata242
06-25-09, 12:34 PM
I grew up with Transformers. I was in the theater in 1986 to watch the animated movie when I was 8.

My daughter is 8 and I want to share this with her. I can deal with the fart jokes.

I can't deal with Devastator's swinging balls.

Draven
06-25-09, 12:37 PM
But why does a movie about fighting robots have to have drug and sex references? This franchise is based on a FUCKING cartoon! Kids like Transformers. There's been recent Transformers cartoons for today's kids as well. I wonder who all the toys are being marketed towards?

You are extremely naive if you think this movie's main audience isn't kids.

I don't know a single parent that is taking a child to this. They are all getting babysitters and going themselves.