After the election, who will win the civil war?

[Thor Simpson]

Here is the scenario.

ED+1: Marches in several large cities are scheduled. While registered as "celebration marches," these floods of people have another purpose should their candidate be denied the Presidency by the opposing party's ignorant morans. Cities move quickly into chaos and the war has begun.

Still-President Bush decides that he doesn't want to hurt his approval rating any further, so he takes a non-partisan role and let the two sides fight to the finish. Besides, the US is bogged down in Iraq and unable to protect its own citizens any way.

Metropolitan areas are filled with Blue Staters, who gain control of all parts of the country with buildings taller than 2 stories. The Red Staters begin to organize. All prisoners are set free. The war has begun.

Who wins?

[naitram]

Bush

[Thor Simpson]

Bush

:sad:

We never saw it coming.

[Bandoman]

FOX News

[wendersfan]

This thread better deliver or I'm gonna be disappointed in all of you.

[Thor Simpson]

First, do we have an assessment of the arms on either side?

Who has the most guns and who has "the big guns?"

Who will control the fuel? Communications?

[General Zod]

Browncoats

[crazyronin]

SMdqFiuaHe8

[starman9000]

The fish will finally rise up, they've been testing our moxy with Silver Carp scouts slapping people around and Snakeheads testing new SCOWBA gear.

[Brian Shannon]

Who decided what colors states are?

[wendersfan]

Who decided what colors states are?
The network news teams.

[Thor Simpson]

Network news teams decided on the color classifications. The voters decide what color states actually become.

[al_bundy]

red states aren't worth fighting over, just empty land the Federal Government already owns

[starman9000]

Is this an all or nothing scenario, or can some states split off or form independent alliances? I'm thinking Montankotayoming. Minnesota and the Pacific NW will align with western Canada and Quebec will take the opportunity to leave Canada all together.

[OldDude]

Well, the Red States grow all the food, and Missouri houses the B2 squadron. (and I think all the ICBM silos are in Red States to keep them away from big ciities)

What do the Blue States have besides cannon fodder?

[JasonF]

Who wins?

Wolf Blitzer

[MACD23]

The only ones who will riot if their candidate loses are the lowest of the low blue stater "Democrats", lets all be honest about it. I'd say the Red staters have all the guns, but then when I consider who will be rioting, that may not be entirely accurate.

[Sheff]

Well, the Red States grow all the food, and Missouri houses the B2 squadron. (and I think all the ICBM silos are in Red States to keep them away from big ciities)

What do the Blue States have besides cannon fodder?ahem..

http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/images/usa/illinois.jpg

[Sean O'Hara]

Who decided what colors states are?

Prior to 2000, the networks alternated red and blue between Republicans and Democrats. But because the 2000 count dragged on so long, that year's color scheme became ingrained in the culture and they haven't changed since.

[Dr Mabuse]

The conservatives win. They have the firearms.

They aren't pansified little schoolgirls who are 'afraid' of firearms for the most part.

[feenst]

Well, the Red States grow all the food, and Missouri houses the B2 squadron. (and I think all the ICBM silos are in Red States to keep them away from big ciities)

What do the Blue States have besides cannon fodder?

For more than 50 consecutive years, California has been the No. 1 agricultural state in the nation.

http://www.agclassroom.org/kids/stats/california.pdf

[classicman2]

Old Dude is just a little confused. ;)

[spainlinx0]

Jersey has tomatoes!

[Thor Simpson]

For more than 50 consecutive years, California has been the No. 1 agricultural state in the nation.

Yeah, there's agriculture in Washington State too... over the mountains from all the hippies. Will Californians be able to secure, maintain, and distribute these crops when their Red Staters revolt?

Perhaps so, given the Hispanic population and a potential border crossing deal to assist with such matters?

[classicman2]

The reason CA is the leading agriculture state is that so many Okie farmers went out there during the depression and dust bowl and started farming.

[Thor Simpson]

The reason CA is the leading agriculture state is that so many Okie farmers went out there during the depression and dust bowl and started farming.

But these days, the workers come across other lines.

[NC-36]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n151/hagemangroup/this_thread_does_not_deliver_animat.gif

[OldDude]

Old Dude is just a little confused. ;)

Well, they offer some good examples, but I will assert many States are like Michigan, blue cities, red out-state where the farmers are. For a State with a Democratic governor, two Democratic Senators, and electoral college votes for the Democrat, we have a lot of Republicans in House delegation. We are not alone in this.

We grow some food too, and we DON'T grow it in Detroit, Flint, Grand Rapids, etc.

[creekdipper]

There won't be a war.

Obama will lead his ex-patriot supporters of the great Lost Cause (which will hereafter be referred to as "The Late Unpleasantness") in an Exodus.

They will resettle in the land of Canaan (consisting of the extra seven states that Obama feels exists in the United States of America). Only he knows where this mythical land exists.

They will rechristen themselves "Branch Obamians".

You heard it here first.

[wabio]

Neither! Both Red staters and Blue staters will beat each other to a bloody pulp, the rich will move all their assets offshore, and China will take over. Wait. This is already happening. :eek:

[aintnosin]

For more than 50 consecutive years, California has been the No. 1 agricultural state in the nation.

http://www.agclassroom.org/kids/stats/california.pdf

And if you get more than about 50 miles from the coast, California is a pretty conservative place.

[BKenn01]

I know this thread is meant to be funny, but I really can see either way this goes causing issues. If McCain wins, Blacks will scream racism, if Obama wins, he will have a miserable 4 years because he will not have a lot of support from White voters. This is a divided country in many ways.

[Thor Simpson]

I know this thread is meant to be funny

If you honestly think this is a joke, then obviously neither side has contacted you for your support and you will probably be among the first to go. :|

[taa455]

I know this thread is meant to be funny, but I really can see either way this goes causing issues. If McCain wins, Blacks will scream racism, if Obama wins, he will have a miserable 4 years because he will not have a lot of support from White voters. This is a divided country in many ways.

Just about every time a President is elected about 50% of America (give or take) is unhappy. Life goes on. I disagree with your implication that lack of support for Obama would be racially motivated.

[gmanca]

This thread makes me wish "The Second Civil War" by Joe Dante was available on DVD.

[BKenn01]

I disagree with your implication that lack of support for Obama would be racially motivated.


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93329959

This among many. Usually this stuff is kept quiet, but because 1 major candidate is Black, they cant keep it out of the news.

How often do you hear in most elections about Republicans problems with Black voters. Then think how often you hear about Democrat problems with White voters.

Obama is having the same problem. I expect that if elected, this will cause him problems.

[taa455]

This among many. Usually this stuff is kept quiet, but because 1 major candidate is Black, they cant keep it out of the news.

How often do you hear in most elections about Republicans problems with Black voters. Then think how often you hear about Democrat problems with White voters.

Obama is having the same problem. I expect that if elected, this will cause him problems.

Come on now. That poll is simplistic and means nothing. Did anybody say McCain is "safe" because he is white? or that Obama is "risky" because he is black? Could it be that Obama is "risky" because he is somewhat of an unknown politically and has much less experience compared with McCain, and absolutely nothing to do with his skin color? I'm thinking yes.

[BKenn01]

Come on now. That poll is simplistic and means nothing.

OK, what means nothing about it. Are you saying that Democrats / Obama does not have a problem with White Voters.

If that is not convincing, how about exit polls from 2004. Look at the difference between Bush and Kerry with White voters

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

You have occassionally heard this. More so in the primary when Hillary was pointing it out. All you hear is about the Republicans problems with Black voters.

[taa455]

OK, what means nothing about it. Are you saying that Democrats / Obama does not have a problem with White Voters.

If that is not convincing, how about exit polls from 2004. Look at the difference between Bush and Kerry with White voters

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

You have occassionally heard this. More so in the primary when Hillary was pointing it out. All you hear is about the Republicans problems with Black voters.

It means nothing in terms of racism. IMO, Black voters' "problems" with the Republicans (and White voters' "problems" with Obama) are based on policies, not race.

[DarkestPhoenix]

For more than 50 consecutive years, California has been the No. 1 agricultural state in the nation.

http://www.agclassroom.org/kids/stats/california.pdf

Can almonds and grapes feed cattle? No? Well, then you're fucked.

Iowa produces so much fucking corn the US would be hosed without us.

[wabio]

fucking corn

I love corn-holing! :hump:

[spainlinx0]

Corn sucks. Grow useful crops. :)

[creekdipper]

I love corn-holing! :hump:

Got to mention this.

Our local city "summer festival of events", which lasts for a week or so, just recently added a new event: the Cornhole Contest.

The competition consists of trying to toss a bag of corn into holes of various sizes cut out of a box...a variation of the old carnival target toss game.

My jaw dropped when I read about in the newspaper...I just had to shake my head in wonder at all the guffaws across the region when the news got around.

[aintnosin]

Got to mention this.

Our local city "summer festival of events", which lasts for a week or so, just recently added a new event: the Cornhole Contest.

The competition consists of trying to toss a bag of corn into holes of various sizes cut out of a box...a variation of the old carnival target toss game.

My jaw dropped when I read about in the newspaper...I just had to shake my head in wonder at all the guffaws across the region when the news got around.
It's actually an increasingly popular game. Sort of "horseshoes for people who don't have horse." Some friends love to play it at barbecues and I've seen it played in NASCAR race infields.

[Suprmallet]

http://thecornballer.com/images/cornballer.jpg
"Soy loco por los Cornballs!"

[JasonF]

Iowa is likely to go for Senator Obama this year, so we'll have all the corn we need.

m3dshSBe05w

[Kerborus]

[QUOTE=NC-36;8935570]John McCain voted to filibuster the minimum wage. John McCain tried to kill the GI Bill, then took credit for passing it. John McCain wants to overturn Roe v. Wade. John McCain supports NAFTA. John McCain is a puppet for lobbyists. John McCain wants to leave our troops in Iraq for 100 years. John McCain cannot remember how many homes he owns. John McCain is not entitled to be President. And Sarah Palin sucks. [QUOTE]

Wow! Propoganda is easier than ever!

[DVD Polizei]

Palin will become a great mayor in a town in Alaska. Again.

And McCain will be formally admitted into a nursing home.