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My house got egg and balogne sandwiched [Archive] - DVD Talk Forum
 
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View Full Version : My house got egg and balogne sandwiched


Mordred
02-18-07, 12:52 AM
So I'm sitting in the computer room when all of a sudden a hear a loud bang at the front door and a car peeling out. I look out the window and don't see anything of course, but I open the door and I've got raw egg and what looks like some bread all over the door and dripping into the house.

I ran and grab some shoes and go outside to survey the damage and the neighborhood. Egg is everywhere mixed with some nice gooey bread but I don't really pay all that much attention to it. I start walking up the street to see if anybody else got hit, but secretly hoping the kids come back. I get about 6 houses up the street and all the houses looks fine.

My house is on the street corner and as I'm walking back I see Jetta with 4 kids in it pull up to the corner from the opposite direction. This is about 5 minutes after my house was hit. The door opens and two kids get out in the middle of the street and start walking towards another house. The Jetta peels out (sounding very similar to the sound I'd heard previously) does a quick 180 and parks right in the entrance to a driveway about four houses up the way it had just come. The two kids who are out of the car start laughing and running after the car. The driver leaves his car on but gets out and runs across the street. The other kids join him yelling and start running up to front doors and my thought is that they're going to egg someone else.

I take off the down the street, running right past the three yelling kids and over to the Jetta. I open the front door and ask the kid who is still in the passenger side what the hell they are doing. He replies "It wasn't me, I'm just sitting here, I didn't do anything." I stand there with the door open for about 15 seconds not really sure what I'm going to do, then I reach in and take the keys out of the ignition.

Another neighbor comes out of his house and I ask if his was egged. He says no, so I run back inside my house and have my wife call the non-emergency number. About this time the driver of said Jetta starts ringing my doorbell furiously.

He profusely denies egging the house and gives me this line "I'm on the football team. I take AP classes. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to egg your house?" Well, yes, yes I do.

Around this time a police car pulls into the street and I flag him down. Within 3 minutes two more come. The kids are yelling and the police officers separate us into two groups. I tell him my story and also that I had grabbed the kids keys so he wouldn't run off. He tells me that I shouldn't have done that and they could probably press charges against me for stealing his car. He doesn't think there's a problem though since they're all minors. I take him over to the house and show him the front door. He shines his flashlight on the mass of bread and asks "Is that balogne?" Yes. It was a balogne sandwich... with a nice raw egg (or two?) in it for good measure.

The cops take statements from the four kids, search their car, but don't find any eggs or balogne sandwiches. They walk the driver of the car over to me where he's looking all smug because he knows he's off the hook. He gives me a "I'm sorry your house got egged, but you had no right to take my keys." The officer asks if we'd like to fill out an incident report, but it's a class C misdemeanor and the stupid kids aren't going to get in trouble so I just let it go.

We had to use a hose and sponge to clean off the house, but at least our front door is cleaner than it's been in a while.

Morale of the story: If some dumbass is egging your house, make sure you actually saw him do it before stealing his keys, otherwise the cops won't do anything.

DVD Polizei
02-18-07, 01:14 AM
Kinda odd they didn't have any evidence on them. Or they have done this on several occasions and have their criminal acts formulated to a perfection.

Find out where they live and mail the residue to their parents.

On second thought. Don't. You'd probably be charged as a terrorist.

Sabrett
02-18-07, 01:39 AM
My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R, my bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R...I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why, I'll say....cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

devilshalo
02-18-07, 01:52 AM
I think CSI needs to step in to piece the eggshell together and see if they can get any print from it.

And I wouldn't waste any bologna on you. I'd throw a pimento loaf.

bunkaroo
02-18-07, 03:55 AM
Should have thrown the keys down the nearest sewer.

Bronkster
02-18-07, 12:01 PM
pimento loaf.
:drool:

NotThatGuy
02-18-07, 12:13 PM
I fucking hate vandalism. Stupid kids doing stupid stuff. This use to happen when I was growing up, but thankfully the kids got caught and they linked a TON of previous vandalism to the kids. The problem was that they still didn't care, their parents paid the fines, got the records sealed, and nothing much came of it. They mostly baseball batted mailboxes....dozens, amongst other things.

-p

Mordred
02-18-07, 12:16 PM
Should have thrown the keys down the nearest sewer.Then I would have gone to jail which would have been the perfect ending :)

Mordred
02-18-07, 12:18 PM
I think CSI needs to step in to piece the eggshell together and see if they can get any print from it.

And I wouldn't waste any bologna on you. I'd throw a pimento loaf.The police officer when asking if we wanted to file an incident report said something about "trying to take fingerprints." My wife and I were both wondering how hard they would work trying to lift prints off the eggshell.

dork
02-18-07, 01:06 PM
Then I would have gone to jail which would have been the perfect ending :)
Yes. Then you would have learned what it's really like to get bologna sandwiched.

Ranger
02-18-07, 02:14 PM
I had a neighbor who got BBQ sauce thrown at his house and of course he lived on the corner.

It was really stupid to take the key. Sounded like the cop just didn't want to waste time because of lack of evidence.

antennaball
02-18-07, 02:48 PM
The police officer when asking if we wanted to file an incident report said something about "trying to take fingerprints." My wife and I were both wondering how hard they would work trying to lift prints off the eggshell.

Aargh. Fuckin' cops like this are why the general public thinks that real life is like CSI.

Mordred
02-18-07, 05:26 PM
I had a neighbor who got BBQ sauce thrown at his house and of course he lived on the corner.

It was really stupid to take the key. Sounded like the cop just didn't want to waste time because of lack of evidence.You wouldn't believe the amount of crap that gets thrown in our yard because we live on the corner (and right across from the community pool). I will never EVER by a corner house again.

Taking the key was just a gut reaction because asking them to stay until the cops arrived didn't seem very likely. It was fun watching the kid sweat though when I had his keys. My guess is the kids either got rid of their egg and balogna elsewhere in the neighborhood before coming back, or they just had the one to begin with. I suppose the other alternative is that some kids through some crap at my house then sped off, then another group just happened to show up 5 minutes later running around through peoples lawns 5 minutes later. I mean, that seems plausible right?

At least I got a good story out of the deal.

Sabrett
02-18-07, 06:24 PM
balogna

Still?

Must I sing that damn song again?

Bacon
02-18-07, 06:28 PM
egg and balogna? I prefer egg and bacon

NotThatGuy
02-18-07, 06:50 PM
bacon and egg........:drool:

-p

dork
02-18-07, 09:14 PM
Must I sing that damn song again?
Yes.

Slowly.

:drool:

DVDpackrat
02-18-07, 10:24 PM
When I was a kid, my elderly neighbors got a tampon dipped in ketscup put in their mailbox and a pad with ketscup on it stuck to their car's windshield. Someone also spray painted over their license plate. Sad.

dork
02-18-07, 10:31 PM
Hey, Sabrett, know any songs about ketchup?

DVDpackrat
02-18-07, 10:43 PM
Leave the drunk alone funny mister.

mndtrp
02-19-07, 02:39 AM
I'm waiting for Single to post about your actions.

I imagine the kid was freaking out when you took his keys. Tossing them on the nearest roof, and then not calling the cops, would have been the way to go.

Mordred
02-19-07, 02:50 AM
I'm waiting for Single to post about your actions.

I imagine the kid was freaking out when you took his keys. Tossing them on the nearest roof, and then not calling the cops, would have been the way to go.Yeah. My hope is that I scared them bad enough that they won't mess with me again. So far no eggs today... we'll see next weekend though.

Duran
02-19-07, 09:01 AM
Taking the key was just a gut reaction because asking them to stay until the cops arrived didn't seem very likely.

Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?

dork
02-19-07, 09:09 AM
Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?
Well, I doubt he had a screwdriver on hand.

Mordred
02-19-07, 11:38 AM
Couldn't you have just taken down the license plate?Well that was the original plan, but:

A) I was walking the neighborhood and didn't have pen/paper with me.
B) They parked about 200 yards from my house and I figured there was a 50/50 chance that something else would happen and I'd forget it before I could get back inside and write it down
C) Do you really expect the cops to go out looking for a car that had thrown some egg at my house? I figured they would have to be caught red handed... which is what I thought I'd done at the time.

RunBandoRun
02-19-07, 11:47 AM
I used to know how to sing the Oscar Meyer bologna song in French, but that was 27 years ago. :D I'll spare you all now ...

DVDFreaker
02-19-07, 12:12 PM
In my opinion, I don't think you have a right to take his keys and not only that, you could have been beat up to death or shot, you are lucky you are alive

Mordred
02-19-07, 12:20 PM
In my opinion, I don't think you have a right to take his keys and not only that, you could have been beat up to death or shot, you are lucky you are aliveThis is the burbs in Austin. I'm not exactly a big guy but I certainly could have held my own against the driver. Plus, I wasn't really too concerned that four dumb teenagers out throwing eggs at people's houses were packing heat.

Sabrett
02-19-07, 12:23 PM
When I was a kid, my elderly neighbors got a tampon dipped in ketscup put in their mailbox and a pad with ketscup on it stuck to their car's windshield. Someone also spray painted over their license plate. Sad.

What's a ketscup?

Duran
02-19-07, 12:25 PM
Well that was the original plan, but:

A) I was walking the neighborhood and didn't have pen/paper with me.
B) They parked about 200 yards from my house and I figured there was a 50/50 chance that something else would happen and I'd forget it before I could get back inside and write it down
C) Do you really expect the cops to go out looking for a car that had thrown some egg at my house? I figured they would have to be caught red handed... which is what I thought I'd done at the time.

The cops wouldn't have to go looking for the car - they just look up the registered owner's address and pay a visit.

TomOpus
02-19-07, 01:05 PM
What's a ketscup?I Googled "kets" and got this...
http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/91/ketsgp1.jpg

So at this point, I'm not curious about his cup.

Mordred
02-19-07, 01:22 PM
The cops wouldn't have to go looking for the car - they just look up the registered owner's address and pay a visit.I realize that. I'm just skeptical that it would have happened.

Ranger
02-19-07, 01:50 PM
most people, if innocent, certainly would have beaten you if you had taken their car key.

you said the kid was on the football team, maybe his friends were too. that means they could be a lot stronger than you think so i wouldn't underestimate their strength. it is not worth getting into some fight over some eggs and balogna since you could have gotten hurt or arrested.

I am sure they are laughing it up now and telling all their friends but just try to move on and keep your eyes open. hopefully your cars are in a garage.

NotThatGuy
02-19-07, 01:58 PM
If you really wanted to get them, i'd call their football coach and tell HIM what they were doing. Speaking from experience......the punish he can levy will FAR outweigh what the police can administer.

(We had two players get tagged for a DUI/Underage drinking, property damage, etc....and they were released to my coach for their community service hours. He had them for MONTHS. They said later that they would have rather gone to jail and had to stay back in school than deal with him again.)

-p

Mordred
02-19-07, 02:38 PM
most people, if innocent, certainly would have beaten you if you had taken their car key.Does that mean he was guilty then?

you said the kid was on the football team, maybe his friends were too. that means they could be a lot stronger than you think so i wouldn't underestimate their strength. it is not worth getting into some fight over some eggs and balogna since you could have gotten hurt or arrested.

I am sure they are laughing it up now and telling all their friends but just try to move on and keep your eyes open. hopefully your cars are in a garage.Yeah, taking the keys wasn't the smartest move (but it sure felt good!). I had the kid by about 4 inches though and I think I'd do alright if he had taken a swing at me. The other two boys didn't look that tough, and the third passenger was the drivers 15 year old sister. Like I said, I wasn't particularly worried for my safety.

I always park our cars in the garage, although I occasionally leave the door up when my wife isn't home yet. That won't be happening any more.

dork
02-19-07, 02:44 PM
you said the kid was on the football team, maybe his friends were too. that means they could be a lot stronger than you think so i wouldn't underestimate their strength.
And don't forget that they're also taking AP classes. So even if Mordred could somehow evade their punches, he could not elude the robot they built to kick his ass.

bunkaroo
02-19-07, 03:57 PM
Then I would have gone to jail which would have been the perfect ending :)

How would they prove you did it? You wouldn't have the keys in your possession. Kind of like their story. ;)

djbrown
02-19-07, 04:06 PM
B) They parked about 200 yards from my house and I figured there was a 50/50 chance that something else would happen and I'd forget it before I could get back inside and write it down


Duh. Use the time-honored tradition of using a sing-along jingle to remember how to spell words, and apply the same logic to the license plate.

Shazam
02-19-07, 04:41 PM
So did you eat the sandwich?

Mordred
02-19-07, 04:53 PM
So did you eat the sandwich?It's in my freezer so it wouldn't stink up the trashcan. If you want I can mail it to you.

Shazam
02-19-07, 04:57 PM
It's in my freezer so it wouldn't stink up the trashcan. If you want I can mail it to you.Nah, I'd prefer that you throw it against my house.