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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??

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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??

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Old 12-06-05, 12:40 AM
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24 fans, can we come up w/ some funny facts about Jack Bauer??
i've read a ton of those vin diesel and chuck norris facts and they're all really funny

http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

but i think we should be able to come up w/ some great jack bauer facts???

www.notrly.com/jackbauer
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Old 12-06-05, 05:45 AM
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Jack Bauer doesn't need a watch. Time follows him.
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Old 12-06-05, 06:47 AM
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Jack Bauer attracts terrorists like his daughter attracts psychos and mountain liions.
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Old 12-06-05, 06:55 AM
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Jack Bauer can get anywhere in minutes... seconds.
No matter what the traffic situation is.

Jack Bauer's cell phone has incredible range... and batteries.
He never needs to recharge.
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Old 12-06-05, 08:09 AM
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Jack Bauer is played by Keifer Shuterland.
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Old 12-06-05, 08:50 AM
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While undercover, Jack Bauer once killed 100 babies to prove his loyalty to a terrorist organization, then killed all the terrorists with a pencil and two rolls of Scotch tape.
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Old 12-06-05, 09:16 AM
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Jack Bauer doesn't need to go to the bathroom.
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Old 12-06-05, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by IDrinkMolson
Jack Bauer doesn't need to go to the bathroom.
I was thinking something along those lines as well...

"With Jack Bauer, time does not go to waste...nor does he produce any."
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Old 12-06-05, 09:56 AM
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Jack Bauer ought to know by now that everything bad happens on the hour!
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Old 12-06-05, 10:10 AM
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Jack Bauer can say "Tell me where the bomb is" 20 times in one episode.
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Old 12-06-05, 10:22 AM
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As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
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Old 12-06-05, 10:30 AM
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Jack Bauer's unique digestive system craps out bullets, providing a neverending supply of ammunition.
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Old 12-06-05, 10:43 AM
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To prove that he was over Audrey Raines, Jack Bauer had sex with her dead husband.
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Old 12-06-05, 10:48 AM
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Jack Bauer is a candy ass compared to Jack Bristow.
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Old 12-06-05, 10:56 AM
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Jack Bauer does not shave. Once his beard grows long enough, he uses his hacksawing skills to cut one hair. The rest fall out by themselves.
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Old 12-06-05, 10:58 AM
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If Jack Bauer ever had to torture God to get information, he would. Jack Bauer must protect CTU at all costs!
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Old 12-06-05, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted by kenny79
To prove that he was over Audrey Raines, Jack Bauer had sex with her dead husband.
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Old 12-06-05, 11:10 AM
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In the Eight grade Jack Bauer stopped his own heart for 2 hours to get out of a homework assignment. When he returned to school the next day, he killed all his teachers an assumed a new name, graduating as Dennis Rodman.
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Old 12-06-05, 01:51 PM
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Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
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Old 12-06-05, 02:38 PM
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temporarily killed...that is hilarious!
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Old 12-06-05, 03:17 PM
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Jack Bauer was worshiped by the ancient Celts, unfortunatly his religion died when he tortured all his High priests to death for practice.
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Old 12-06-05, 03:23 PM
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Jack Bauer once uncovered an eloberate plot to assasinate President Reagan, and protected the president from harm for weeks, only to have the president shot during a brief period of time when Jack was having sex with Jodie Foster
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Old 12-06-05, 03:42 PM
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Jack Bauer loves midgets. He believes their juices keep him alive. Jack Bauer is weird.
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Old 12-06-05, 03:44 PM
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You're either with Jack Bauer or against him. If you're against Jack Bauer, you're either dead or will be soon.
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Old 12-06-05, 04:32 PM
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Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
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