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Old 05-06-05, 08:31 PM
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Want a good laugh? Read this

I was browsing the reviews of San Andreas (damn I'm drooling over this game for pc) and I came across this little gem; so good I just had to share it:


0 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

1 out of 5 stars The End of Video Games, May 2, 2005

Reviewer: Scott Baret (Pittsburgh, PA USA) - See all my reviews
Years ago the world had good video games. There was Super Mario on the NES, Pitfall on the Atari 2600, and plenty of great games for the computers of the day (MS-DOS, Apple II, and Macintosh).

Now we are stuck with games where you have to kill people to win. You have to resort to prostitution to win. Worse, this franchise has sold millions. Am I the only one sensing that moral values are gone in today's society?

I've heard of ten year olds playing this game. We wonder why there are so many troubled kids in today's society. Why there are so many teenage pregnancies. Why tragedies like Columbine have to happen. Everything can come down to the awful video games like this one and those first person shooters (Halo, etc). This stuff is causing a steady downfall.

I used to play a lot of video games. Mostly ones like Super Mario and the sports games. I've just been so frustrated by the industry lately that I don't even play them that often. I haven't held a controller in over a month now (as I write this), and that's coming from someone who has rated other video games very highly. The trouble is that you can only do so much with baseball or Mario. After a while you beat the games so many times that you need a new challenge. When something like this comes up on a shelf, you just want to run and go find the nearest source of morality.

Parents, don't fall into the trap. This isn't just a racing game. This will make you want to throw that Playstation out the window, or at least sell it in the newspaper.

Kids, don't let your friends call you stupid for not having this game in your library. You go spend quality time with your true friends at a place like the food court or Abercrombie & Fitch while the others are at a video game store playing this demo and then buying it. Remember that you will have stronger morals than them and you will be happier in the long run. Most guys who play these games get obsessed with them. It's not a cool thing to sit in front of a TV and pretend you're a gang member. Oh yeah, and girls don't like it either.

The developers of this game should be ashamed of themselves and go take a page out of Cliff Johnson's book--he wrote the excellent puzzle game "3 in Three" for the Macintosh many years ago, and sometimes I despair the world may never see another game like it.


There are so many things wrong with this guys conclusions I don't even know where to begin
Old 05-06-05, 08:50 PM
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sounds like this could've been written by someone from this forum... but I won't name names...

pixyjunket
Old 05-06-05, 09:47 PM
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I love Conservative America almost as much as I love kicking hookers in the face.

Great Review
Old 05-06-05, 11:05 PM
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No way that guy can be serious,he had to have written that as a joke...
Old 05-06-05, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Maxflier
No way that guy can be serious,he had to have written that as a joke...

It's gotta be, no one can seriously mention Abercrombie and Fitch the way he did. Honestly, I feel like "sieg heil"-ing the place every time I pass it in the mall.
Old 05-07-05, 12:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Chaos
The developers of this game should be ashamed of themselves and go take a page out of Cliff Johnson's book--he wrote the excellent puzzle game "3 in Three" for the Macintosh many years ago, and sometimes I despair the world may never see another game like it.
3 in Three was incredible! Anyone remember that game? Thank you, demented stranger, for bringing back such fond memories.
Old 05-07-05, 12:19 AM
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0 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
This doesn't surprise me.
Years ago the world had good video games...Pitfall on the Atari 2600...
This dangerous game ruined the life of this young man:

We wonder why there are so many troubled kids in today's society. Why there are so many teenage pregnancies.

Kids, don't let your friends call you stupid for not having this game in your library. You go spend quality time with your true friends at a place like the food court or Abercrombie & Fitch...
I don't think this guy has seen the pictures on the walls at A&F.

Remember that you will have stronger morals than them and you will be happier in the long run. Most guys who play these games get obsessed with them. It's not a cool thing to sit in front of a TV and pretend you're a gang member. Oh yeah, and girls don't like it either.
I love how he threw in that last sentence. I've made this my new signature.
Old 05-07-05, 02:26 AM
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Actually, this guy is for real. He is also between the ages of 18 and 21, as his page reveals. Here's his page on Amazon:

Scott Baret's page

Here's some more zingers from this guy:

On Meet the Fockers:

"To top it off, they even had the dog do the hanky-panky. I know a lot of people found this funny, but I think it's wrong for people and even worse to show animals in such a fashion. I've had dogs nearly all my life, they've always been my best friends, and it just was awful to see such good animals in such raunchy drama."

On Napoleon Dynamite:

"What I did gain out of this film was the meaning behind those dumb "Vote for Pedro" shirts. I at first thought they had to do with either Pedro Martinez winning the Cy Young or with people who didn't want to vote for either Bush or Kerry in November."

On Halo 2 (what is his deal with A&F?):

"What's worse is people are still obsessed with this game. I can spend twenty minutes in Abercrombie and Fitch browsing, socializing, and buying something and then come out to find the same group of kids who were there when I entered A&F playing Halo 2 at the Electronics Boutique across the way."

On MVP Baseball 2004:

"To appreciate this game you have to like baseball. A lot of gamers don't like sports games, but that's probably because they're geeks who don't play or watch sporting events. Don't go by what those video game magazines tell you--those guys don't like sports. This game is in my Hall of Fame right up there with Super Mario Bros 3."

On Dockers pants (seriously, what is the deal?):

"If you want good looking pants look no further than Dockers. I have a ton of polo shirts, the majority of which come from retailers such as Abercrombie & Fitch."

And perhaps most revealing of all (not making this up, people):

On Elmer's glue:

"No matter who you are or what you do, you need this. 'Nuff said."
Old 05-07-05, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by illennium
On Elmer's glue:

"No matter who you are or what you do, you need this. 'Nuff said."


More A&F love, this time from his review of Hanes' T-shirts:

"Okay, they're undershirts...but these are realatively inexpensive and hold up well. If something happens you don't feel that bad about it, either. They are comfortable and look good under polo shirts. With cheap undershirts you can spend more money on Abercrombie shirts."
Old 05-07-05, 11:55 AM
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I see he's from Pittsburgh. In one of the malls here, there is an EB Games right next to the Abercrombie and Fitch store, so I guess thats the mall he frequents.
Old 05-07-05, 01:42 PM
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This dude has some serious love for A&F...that's just not healthy.

I do find it funny that "Grand Theft Auto" games lead to teenage sex/pregancy but a clothing store with scantly clad teenagers plastered on the walls does not.
Old 05-07-05, 02:34 PM
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Wow I have a few words that could help that guy out. KILL YOURSELF!!!

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