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Worst Films of 2004 - what do you regret seeing?

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Worst Films of 2004 - what do you regret seeing?

Old 01-04-05, 09:49 AM
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Worst Films of 2004 - what do you regret seeing?

What films did you feel like you wasted your time and money on, mine:

Against the Ropes – the rapid decline of Meg Ryan's acting cred continues…

Twentynine Palms - painful, painful two hours.

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason – the moronic routine was just grating beyond belief

Resident Evil: Apocalypse – for an action/horror flick this was just tedious and bloodless (when compared to say ‘Shaun of the Dead’)

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy – sorry but this was just juvenile humour that I personally found unfunny, the 13 year old further down the aisle was also groaning and head shaking at this trite comedy.

The Forgotten – explanatory title

Shall We Dance? – manufactured Hollywood dreck, that was just an insult to the vastly superior Japanese original.

Alexander – the only good thing that came out of this was a stellar Vangelis soundtrack.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - or as I like to call “wake me up when it’s over.”. a thriller that tried to be brooding but just sleep inducing.

King Arthur – sans Clive, Kiera and the battle on the ice, this was instantly lame, silly and forgettable.

Last edited by Giles; 01-04-05 at 10:12 AM.
Old 01-04-05, 09:55 AM
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King Arthur tops the list for me.
Old 01-04-05, 09:58 AM
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OPEN WATER is the only thing i regretted seeing.
Old 01-04-05, 10:08 AM
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I regret even renting Open Water, save for the Blanchard Ryan nude scene. Thankfully I didn't pay full price to see that one in the theater. That movie really sucked bad.

Oh, and The Village was a big disappointment in my book too.
Old 01-04-05, 10:16 AM
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Van Helsing did it for me. This is from somebody who liked the Mummy movies (both of them).

I was dissapointed with Troy and was looking for "more".
Old 01-04-05, 10:20 AM
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In spite of the gratuitous nudity and lesbian sex, Secret Things was largely a waste of time. How Cahiers du Cinema rated it so highly I'll never know.

(Dis)Honorable Mention:

Garden State was really horrible, but the soundtrack was nice, despite how poorly it was used in the film.

The Icelandic film The Seagull's Laughter was pretty awful too, but at least I can say I've seen an Icelandic film now, FWIW...

My continuing annoyance with all things Charlie Kaufmann* continues, as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a colossal crapfest of pretension and tedium.


* George Clooney's magnificent Confessions of a Dangerous Mind excepted.

Last edited by wendersfan; 01-04-05 at 10:26 AM.
Old 01-04-05, 10:32 AM
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I could have easily done without seeing the following:

Anchorman
The Grudge
Alien Vs. Predator
White Chicks
Hellboy
Old 01-04-05, 10:42 AM
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Day After Tomorrow...and probably Sideways.
Old 01-04-05, 10:55 AM
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Oh, the humanity. I've seen probably hundreds of movies. This was the first movie that was actually painful to watch. This is the first movie that made me lose my self respect. This is the first movie that I was actually embarrassed to be seen coming out of, and had to leave thru the fire escape. This is the first movie that made me feel dirty and ashamed. The plot twist was the most predictable in any movie I've ever seen. I won't make you suffer like I did, and spare you the awful reality that is "Superbabies". But just in case you want to know, the bad guy (played by John Voight) is actually the older brother of Kahuna, the 'hero' of the movie. You don't want to know more. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. Instead, donate your ticket price to the Will Rogers Institute donation container they have at the ticket counter. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE.
Old 01-04-05, 11:09 AM
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The 4 that stand out the most for me were.

Napoleon Dynamite - Officially the least funniest comedy in the history of film. How on earth people found that snotty, eyes closed loser funny is beyond me. This movie tried so hard to be a Wed Anderson movie but without any intelligence.

THe Punisher - IMO the worste comic book movie of all time. At least the Fantastic Four, original Punisher, Cap America movies were all super low budget, so they had an excuse. This was just recycled boring crap.

AVP - It almost seems impossible to take a concept as cool as Aliens fighting Predators and make it boring watered down tripe, yet somehow Paul Anderson did it & managed to assemble one of the most boring movie casts in the history of film.

Van Helsing - The AVP factor, a movie with such a great concept behind it but this one actually had two good stars in it, & it was just dreadful sitting through it. One of the worste scripts & the most overused special effects I've ever seen on screen.

Garden State was really horrible, but the soundtrack was nice, despite how poorly it was used in the film
Whoever wrote this could you at least explain. I could understand not liking the movie, but it is far from being really horrible.
Old 01-04-05, 11:12 AM
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Hellboy
Anchorman

and Troy could have been so much better. The only saving grace was Eric Bana. He was brilliant. Too bad he couldn't save this wretch of a film.

I wasn't impressed with Sky Captain either. Kinda meh. Not the worst, but not worth sitting through again.
Old 01-04-05, 11:14 AM
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Alien vs Predator
Van Helsing
The Punisher

While there were some other bad movies I saw (The Day After Tomorrow, Dodgeball, Man on Fire) the above three are the only ones I regret paying money to see.
Old 01-04-05, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Sessa17
Whoever wrote this could you at least explain. I could understand not liking the movie, but it is far from being really horrible.
Just read my review:

http://cinemastuff.blogspot.com/2004...04-i-hate.html
Old 01-04-05, 11:23 AM
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while I didn't loathe Garden State as much as you did wendersfan, I thought it was vastly overrated (as well as Napolean Dynamite). Braff's script is sparse and undefined and falls way short of in-depth character development. This was one indie movie that seemed to fall into every cliche the genre has to offer and really felt like it was trying to appease to it's market and audience.
Old 01-04-05, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by wendersfan
In spite of the gratuitous nudity and lesbian sex, Secret Things was largely a waste of time. How Cahiers du Cinema rated it so highly I'll never know.



My continuing annoyance with all things Charlie Kaufmann* continues, as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a colossal crapfest of pretension and tedium.


* George Clooney's magnificent Confessions of a Dangerous Mind excepted.
The problem with Secret Things for me was that I thought that the last three quarters of the film just fell apart - it was unbelievably ludicrous and dumb.

Funny, you should mention, Kaufmann, I personally couldn't stand Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and did enjoy Eternal Sunshine.
(different strokes for different folks).
Old 01-04-05, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Giles
while I didn't loathe Garden State as much as you did wendersfan, I thought it was vastly overrated (as well as Napolean Dynamite). Braff's script is sparse and undefined and falls way short of in-depth character development. This was one indie movie that seemed to fall into every cliche the genre has to offer and really felt like it was trying to appease to it's market and audience.
Pretty much my feelings as well. It really just seemed to hit all my buttons in a bad way, but I can see how it might be appealing to the right demographic.

I fear I might go on a shooting spree if I ever end up seeing Napoleon Dynamite, based on what I've heard from friends.
Old 01-04-05, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Giles
The problem with Secret Things for me was that I thought that the last three quarters of the film just fell apart - it was unbelievably ludicrous and dumb.

Funny, you should mention, Kaufmann, I personally couldn't stand Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and did enjoy Eternal Sunshine.
(different strokes for different folks).
As I've stated innumerable times, I'm a sucker for anything Soderbergh, and Clooney certainly directed Confessions in his mentor's style. I'll continue to see everything Kaufmann writes, because I think eventually the guy is gonna find a way to rein in his imagination in such a way to tell a great narrative without letting the script's gimmick detract from the story, but rather support it. To my mind that's his problem - he relies to much on gimmicks and they end up being the primary focus of his script.
Old 01-04-05, 11:36 AM
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5. Moolade
4. Spider-Man 2
3. Vera Drake
2. Kill Bill Volume 2
1. Million Dollar Baby
Old 01-04-05, 11:41 AM
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Scooby Doo 2
Van Helsing
The Village
Alien Vs. Predator
Old 01-04-05, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
5. Moolade
4. Spider-Man 2
3. Vera Drake
2. Kill Bill Volume 2
1. Million Dollar Baby
Groucho - what didn't you like about Million Dollar Baby? The critically slobbering over this movie is a turn-off for me.
Old 01-04-05, 11:45 AM
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It was basically a remake of The Next Karate Kid. Did we really need that?
Old 01-04-05, 12:08 PM
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I never regret seeing anything -- I believe there is SOMETHING of merit in every film, and every film expands your experience/knowledge as a film fan.

However, the films I considered the worst of what I viewed theatrically this year are:

Purple Butterfly - Zhang Ziyi and Toru Nakamura are intriguing casting, but what a painfully tedious, "moody" film.
Sound of Colors
The Forgotten
Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason
The Chronicles of Riddick
Old 01-04-05, 12:21 PM
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Unless I'm forgetting something...only
The Village.
Old 01-04-05, 12:23 PM
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The Stepford Wives
Old 01-04-05, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
5. Moolade
4. Spider-Man 2
3. Vera Drake
2. Kill Bill Volume 2
1. Million Dollar Baby
All 5 of those were featured on either Ebert or Roeper's top ten lists this year (one or two both lists).

Different strokes, I guess.

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