The Gate review
10-26-03, 12:27 AM
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The Gate review
I was out shopping last week when I did my usual glance at the cheap DVD section. I discovered a movie that I loved as a kid. I still remember the one part of the commercial that made me want to see it. The movie was...The Gate. I only had 3 movies that I would watch over and over as a kid and this was one of them. The others were the last half of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, you know, the part where they get to the factory, screw the beginning. Clash of the Titans was the other. I never owned it but saw it plenty of times from TBS.
When I saw The Gate for only $8.99 on DVD, I wasn't sure if I should get it. Sure it was a movie I loved, but I have watched movies I haven't seen for a long time and they just aren't as good. Would The Gate fall into the same category? I wouldn't find out since I didn't buy it. I would keep checking it out every time I went to the store and it was still there waiting for me. I checked Netflix and they don’t have it. Well, I finally broke down last night and bought it.
About the DVD, well, there isn’t that much about it. As for the DVD features, they only include: Digitally Mastered, Chapter Selection, and Interactive Menus. I learned when I bought Sex for the 3DO game system that interactive doesn’t mean something is going to be good. In the case of The Gate, interactive means that you can choose between playing the movie from the title screen or going into chapter selection and select from 3 pages of a total of 12 chapters. I am guessing the case is where most of the cost comes from. It is this thick plastic case that even features an "interactive" button that you need to press to open it! Ohhhh interactive!!! Inside is an ad for other "great titles," with the only one I have ever watched and heard of being The Wraith.
The movie starts off with Glen (the *****) having a stupid dream sequence and we later find out that the tree in the backyard fell and it’s getting chopped up. He finds a geode and takes it to his friend Terry (the nerd), who explains that they should try to dig some more up because they could sell a big one for $100!!!!!! They end up finding a huge one that they smash open which causes a light show and smoke to pour out of it. Terry explains this in a traditional horror mentality way by saying it was compressed air. Right. I am going to listen to the guy who hugs a dead dog thinking it’s his mom.
Later on we get to witness Terry playing air guitar and lip-synching to some band that really knew the truth about the world. A long time ago, the old gods ruled the darkness and now they hate us because we live in the light. How they figured this shit out we will never know because they decided to join their favorite musician John Denver and fly into a mountain.
Eventually we get to my favorite part of the movie. The demons. This is the reason that I wanted to see this movie and this is the only part that I still remember from the commercial. I still remember seeing the guy falling and turning into a bunch of demons and the other part where the demon’s arm is stuck in the door, falls off, and turns into clay that quickly runs under the door.
You could say that by me watching this movie, I opened up a gate of some sorts over here. Now when I moved into this house, I learned that if I leave Coke on my desk that ants will come. The day after I watched this movie, the ant activity has risen. I haven’t even had food or drinks on my desk! I have killed about 10 so far. That is unusual for me. I mean I just sit here and I can see them coming out of my computer and keyboard. I can understand the keyboard part since it has had everything dumped on it including sweet and sour chicken and I can still see the sauce. Today, the ants have disappeared. I have yet to see one. It’s almost like where in The Gate, the kids went out to the gate and threw the bible in the hole, which sealed it up and made us believe that it was all over. Perhaps that is what happened to the ants. Maybe they saw the ant that I put tape over and now I am supposed to think everything is ok.
But for poor Glen and Terry it’s not over. A construction worker comes out of the wall to get 2 sacrifices and captures Terry and Al. Al is the sister whose only purpose is T&A but without the T&A. The reason I called Glen a ***** earlier is because he just hides in the corner and screams while Terry is begging for help. Glen tries to help with Al but jumping on a demon probably isn’t going to do anything, and it doesn’t.
Now that the demons have some humans, they send up a big demon through the floor. He doesn’t do anything but stand there and look at Glen. Something that bothered me is that the demons where supposed to be taking over the world but they choose instead to just stay on the property. They obviously came from the Sloth part of hell judging by how lazy they are.
So Glen finds a toy rocket and eventually fires it at the demon. As with all demons, the rocket kills him and the Earth is saved. Terry, Al, and Glen’s dog come back and everything is ok other than the house.
After doing some research, Glen is the only person that went on to have any success. He has starred in Feardotcom among some of the others he has been in. I know that is not saying much but it’s more than the others. Terry starred in the fecal filled Gate 2, which is out on DVD but I have yet to stumble upon it.
Overall I recommend The Gate. It is pretty bad but in a good way unlike Uncle Sam, which is pretty bad, but in a strange way. My wife jumped a few times during it but she is Japanese and they are pretty much scared of everything. To this day she still refuses to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre because she saw a clip of the end of it where Leatherface is swinging his chainsaw around and screaming.
When I saw The Gate for only $8.99 on DVD, I wasn't sure if I should get it. Sure it was a movie I loved, but I have watched movies I haven't seen for a long time and they just aren't as good. Would The Gate fall into the same category? I wouldn't find out since I didn't buy it. I would keep checking it out every time I went to the store and it was still there waiting for me. I checked Netflix and they don’t have it. Well, I finally broke down last night and bought it.
About the DVD, well, there isn’t that much about it. As for the DVD features, they only include: Digitally Mastered, Chapter Selection, and Interactive Menus. I learned when I bought Sex for the 3DO game system that interactive doesn’t mean something is going to be good. In the case of The Gate, interactive means that you can choose between playing the movie from the title screen or going into chapter selection and select from 3 pages of a total of 12 chapters. I am guessing the case is where most of the cost comes from. It is this thick plastic case that even features an "interactive" button that you need to press to open it! Ohhhh interactive!!! Inside is an ad for other "great titles," with the only one I have ever watched and heard of being The Wraith.
The movie starts off with Glen (the *****) having a stupid dream sequence and we later find out that the tree in the backyard fell and it’s getting chopped up. He finds a geode and takes it to his friend Terry (the nerd), who explains that they should try to dig some more up because they could sell a big one for $100!!!!!! They end up finding a huge one that they smash open which causes a light show and smoke to pour out of it. Terry explains this in a traditional horror mentality way by saying it was compressed air. Right. I am going to listen to the guy who hugs a dead dog thinking it’s his mom.
Later on we get to witness Terry playing air guitar and lip-synching to some band that really knew the truth about the world. A long time ago, the old gods ruled the darkness and now they hate us because we live in the light. How they figured this shit out we will never know because they decided to join their favorite musician John Denver and fly into a mountain.
Eventually we get to my favorite part of the movie. The demons. This is the reason that I wanted to see this movie and this is the only part that I still remember from the commercial. I still remember seeing the guy falling and turning into a bunch of demons and the other part where the demon’s arm is stuck in the door, falls off, and turns into clay that quickly runs under the door.
You could say that by me watching this movie, I opened up a gate of some sorts over here. Now when I moved into this house, I learned that if I leave Coke on my desk that ants will come. The day after I watched this movie, the ant activity has risen. I haven’t even had food or drinks on my desk! I have killed about 10 so far. That is unusual for me. I mean I just sit here and I can see them coming out of my computer and keyboard. I can understand the keyboard part since it has had everything dumped on it including sweet and sour chicken and I can still see the sauce. Today, the ants have disappeared. I have yet to see one. It’s almost like where in The Gate, the kids went out to the gate and threw the bible in the hole, which sealed it up and made us believe that it was all over. Perhaps that is what happened to the ants. Maybe they saw the ant that I put tape over and now I am supposed to think everything is ok.
But for poor Glen and Terry it’s not over. A construction worker comes out of the wall to get 2 sacrifices and captures Terry and Al. Al is the sister whose only purpose is T&A but without the T&A. The reason I called Glen a ***** earlier is because he just hides in the corner and screams while Terry is begging for help. Glen tries to help with Al but jumping on a demon probably isn’t going to do anything, and it doesn’t.
Now that the demons have some humans, they send up a big demon through the floor. He doesn’t do anything but stand there and look at Glen. Something that bothered me is that the demons where supposed to be taking over the world but they choose instead to just stay on the property. They obviously came from the Sloth part of hell judging by how lazy they are.
So Glen finds a toy rocket and eventually fires it at the demon. As with all demons, the rocket kills him and the Earth is saved. Terry, Al, and Glen’s dog come back and everything is ok other than the house.
After doing some research, Glen is the only person that went on to have any success. He has starred in Feardotcom among some of the others he has been in. I know that is not saying much but it’s more than the others. Terry starred in the fecal filled Gate 2, which is out on DVD but I have yet to stumble upon it.
Overall I recommend The Gate. It is pretty bad but in a good way unlike Uncle Sam, which is pretty bad, but in a strange way. My wife jumped a few times during it but she is Japanese and they are pretty much scared of everything. To this day she still refuses to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre because she saw a clip of the end of it where Leatherface is swinging his chainsaw around and screaming.
10-29-03, 12:26 AM
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I love this movie, it was a childhood favorite of mine as well. It sucks that its fullscreen. Whats with the Platinum company that released it, they have yet to release a widescreen movie
