Daytripper

Sure, movie critic Claudia Puig panned "Gigli". Giving it one star. But turn to page 6E in today's Life Section E (7/1/03), and you'll find the most nauseating article you'll ever read about the dynamic duo. It's called "Why Ben & Jen still sit pretty". If they (or their management) didn't pay for this vanity piece, I don't know what. Here it is:

By Susan Wloszczyna and Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY

There's no doubt about it: For the celeb-obsessed, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are to salivate for.
The tabloid nation is so taken by the couple that it is starting to refer to them as a two-headed media monster: Bennifer.

There's also no doubt about this: Their new crime-caper flick, Gigli, opens today to very bad buzz. Glitter bad. Swept Away bad. Nearly Plan Nine From Outer Space bad. A sample reaction, from Roger Friedman of Fox News: "Witless, coarse and vulgar ... A total, mindless disaster ... Stupefying."

Their greatest sin has been said to be the bugaboo that befalls many film romances starring real-life couples: that Ben and Jen, who first met on the set and should be setting off flirty sparks like sexual fireflies, have all the combustible chemistry of a soggy match.

Let's be fair. She plays a lesbian. That's a bit of a barrier for hetero matchmaking. He plays dumb. So dumb he thinks a Tabasco bottle is great reading. And their killers-for-hire devote much time to babysitting a slow-witted kidnap victim who comes off like Rain Man Jr.

But at a screening Wednesday in Washington, D.C., with an audience sprinkled with a pro-J. Lo contingent, the movie didn't play like a totally big, fat dud.

In light of that, we offer 10 reasons Gigli is actually not going to ruin Ben or J. Lo's career, nor will it drive Bennifer from the limelight:

1. Their chemistry isn't that bad. They kiss with the right amount of lip action. They make love with enthusiasm. The audience was not groaning. In fact, you could say the anticipatory tension in the air when she first begins to sexually tease him was palpable.

2. There were laughs. People in the audience chuckled regularly. Not necessarily at them, but with them, even when Affleck had to declare himself "the original gangster's gangster."

3. No one ran out screaming, not even during a scene that already has gone into the Hollywood annals of embarrassing moments: J. Lo, provocatively sprawled on a bed, announces to Ben, "It's turkey time." When he looks quizzical, she smiles and adds helpfully, "Gobble, gobble." And, no, she is not inviting him over for Thanksgiving dinner.

4. She makes her entrance in black low-slung hip huggers and cropped top, an outfit highlighted in the preview trailer. That alone will draw fans of toned flesh into the theater. Bonus: Jen's snake-like moves during a yoga routine that begins with a truly stunning position that one could only describe as the Perdue roaster chicken.

5. We're told that in every relationship there is a bull and a cow. In Gigli, Affleck is the one who ends up mooing. Literally. Not to worry: As Lopez confirmed in the pair's chat on NBC's Dateline, "Ben wears the pants" in real life.

6. They drive a sky-blue Chevy Impala convertible. The two of them cruising is a sight we know well. Remember those tabloid shots of them kissing in a Bentley? Her hair shines and blows in the wind. He looks handsome behind the wheel. If Rain Man Jr. weren't in the back seat, you would call it romantic.

7. Not only can they say they've done a film with Al Pacino, they also can say they've acted with Al Pacino and they were actually better than he was.

8. Ben takes his shirt off at least three times.

9. J. Lo has one shower scene. (A complaint: Why does she wear a robe during the sex interlude? Her hit woman is anything but demure.)

10. Was Madonna ever clamped in irons and locked away for her many cinematic crimes? Bennifer will survive this, too.

neiname

Helping to defend a movie in saying that "Their chemistry isn't that bad. They kiss with the right amount of lip action." as your #1 reason is really, really bad. Every reason is a specific thing that "Bennifer" did, not one word about the lame ass story.

HistoryProf

I will never understand why ANYONE reads that rag....it's the worst newspaper ever....give me the local paper if i'm on the road any day.

PalmerJoss

I look to reason #8 for everything that is wrong with the media today. Taking off one's shirt automatically makes a movie good. Truly sad.

DonnachaOne

Jell-O?

Bennifer?

Wow, I wish I was cool enough to use THOSE terms.

Daytripper

Maybe one day.

LiquidSky

I think the terms are hilarious. Frankly, I could think of MUCH more rude names for those two.

Corvin

I hate them both so much I refuse to read this article. Who really cares about J-Lo and Affleck, or for that matter Kutcher and Moore. I mean, enough is enough. I haven't heard one person who actually gives a ****.

RyoHazuki

Its Bennifer Loffleck.

Michael Corvin

I work with a guy that used to love Affleck movies. He hates J.Lo. So when they started dating he hasn't and won't see any more Affleck movies because he has lost respect for the guy.

Personally, I could care less who sleeps with who in hollywood, I just want to see good and or entertaining movies.

audrey

You must not follow many of the threads here. At some point, every thread about a movie featuring a babe du jour degenerates into a discussion of how much flesh the actress reveals and whether the actress is worthy of the posters’ precious bodily fluids.

Personally, I thought the article was somewhat tounge-in-cheek.

Tarantino

So you're saying he shouldn't be watching Ben Affleck movies anyway...

And not one Jell-o movie has been 'good and or entertaining'.

Trigger

I have more of a contempt for USA Today than I do for Jflek and Bennifer.

Indy Jones Fan

You need to see Out of Sight then.

The wife and I saw Gigli last night. It was certainly not deserving of all the bashing I've read. We were entertained for two hours which is what I paid for.

Corvin

For the record, pun-names are horrible. I mean, they're just ridiculously stupid.

N'Stink! Jell-O! Harry Potty! LOL!!!1

Daytripper

For the record!? Where is this documented exactly?

Corvin

Well, okay, I meant it should be on the record.