Well, I recently entered the Land of The Chatroom again. Since moving back to my hometown where nothing happens I have needed something to fill the void. In one such outing I met a crazy deaf girl. So we don't get into actual names for the rest of this thread life I shall refer to her as Crazy Deaf Girl.

Crazy Deaf Girl didn't start out to be so crazy and she didn't start out being deaf. In fact, the second day into our conversational exploits, after asking her what her favorite band was, she told me that she couldn't hear. She went off on a tirade about how most peolpe ditch here after that revelation and that I was going to as well.

I did not ditch Crazy deaf girl. In fact, I didn't mind the hearing loss. We spoke more and just when I believed Crazy Deaf Girl to be perfectly sane she SNAPPED!!!!

SNAPPED like a Thanksgiving wishbone!!!

She started to go on these men hating rants, how she hated men and couldn't trust them and I was evil Evil EVIL! I have no idea what sparked this. Then she started to tell me about all her past relationships with bad men. I said "Maybe you draw them to you or there is something inside you that you should change".

And suddenly I was Satan!

She closed the chat box and I thought I was done with her. Good. She was nuts! And then came the email about how she wondered why I turned on her after being so nice, blaming her for everything.

So, you see, now I am intrigued. I figure she will never write me again and, well, low and behold I pop on and she rants some more. I am drawn into the rants. They are so loopy. But I want out so I stop talking. She mentiones how she is moving. I stop talking. She goes on a rant about how I don't want her to go and I am mad. I close the box. She writes again.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Crazy Deaf Girl also adds *G* and *L* and *smiles* to EVERY SENTENCE to ensure people get her meaning even when it is obvious. She's nuts. Bats! Batty-Nuts!!!

The power of Other compels you...

...to post her rants

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I did not ditch Crazy deaf girl. In fact, I didn't mind the hearing loss. that was mighty white of you. ;)


My take on all this? She's 15... just place her on your ignore list.

It's not uncommon for people of the deaf speech community to band together and have a general distrust for those who talk. Its an interesting phenomenon.

Original rant by Crazy Deaf Girl
I'm sick of men cheating on me and telling me stories and lies and pissing in my shoes. TWO guys peed in my shoes and, sure, they say they didn't do it and that it might have been their cats but, come on, TWO cats peeing in the same shoes at two different houses?

(AFTER I ASKED WHEN SHE DATED EACH OF THEM, WERE THEY ROOMMATES WITH THE SAME CAT?)

No they were two different boyfriends. I was seeing them both at the same time and it was two different cats. I black one and a grey one. I hated the grey one. Maybe the grey one pissed in my shoes.

:whofart:

Original rant by Crazy Deaf Girl
I distrust men because a lot of my ex's felt the need to cheat on me with other girls.... two of them did that - well one cheated on me with someone he met from online..... another one cheated on his girlfriend with me without neither one of our knowledge.... hmm. Other guys love to lie, I have encountered a lot of those... I was with one guy for a year and all he did was lie to me and make himself look good and he borrowed my money and kept telling me he was so broke that he couldn't pay me back. He borrowed up to 1,000 bucks and couldn't pay the bills and got me in trouble a few times... thankfully my landlord forgave me and told me to kick him out, and I did..... ummm.... I am the same as my grandmother.... I tend to meet guys who lie, cheat, just screw around on you...... and pee in my shoes. That happened to her too. I hate that.


Original rant by Crazy Deaf Girl

It's tough.... I guess it started when I was a little kid and I travelled on the school bus back and forth with some other kids, and when it was left to me and my brother and two other kids..... I was 7 then, my brother was 5..... the other ttwo was a troublemaker, a punk guy and the other was just very curious girl, so he sort of molested me then..... in the bus. Ugh. Tha twasn't fun, I was 7. But maybe that didn't happen but it probably did because they were men and they were 14.

I like deaf chicks. They make cool sounds when you bang them.

When crazy deaf girls won't stop leaving me alone, I have come to rely on one solution: a shotgun blast to the face.

Originally posted by RoQuEr
It's not uncommon for people of the deaf speech community to band together and have a general distrust for those who talk. Its an interesting phenomenon.

:rolleyes: Not true.

All I can say that "deaf" people are much sensitive on how people (hearing or "deaf") treat them. They don't "band" together against anyone who treat them crap.

Take my advice, ignore her and don't even talk or bother her. It's not worth your effort.

Originally posted by joltaddict
I like deaf chicks. They make cool sounds when you bang them.

They're lousy in bed.

Tell her you just went blind and can no longer read her chats...

Or - invite her to join DVDTalk - otter; it would make for some interesting posts :)

(After she admited there might be something wrong with her I asked her what that might be. She blamed the men she attracts. I asked then, from the sound of it, it is just the men you attract. She said no. Maybe it had something to do with her. I asked what. Her repy-)

<i>"A lot of people tell me it's just because I'm still so innocent. My grandmother was the same way... she ended up marrying a man who beat her up constantly. My mom says it coud be genetic, we are both the same, very stubborn but at the same time very naive, very innocent and just softies when it comes to males."</i>

(ME: So you attract bad men because you are too nice, is that what you are trying to tell me? Or because of your bad man attracting DNA)

<i>"I honestly don't know. That's what sets up from what people think of my tendency to attract bad guys..... I don't know what it is with me. I don't always tell men I hate them so soon. Just the bad ones and sometimes the good ones who seem bad. Can this be genetic? I don't know, it could be yes, but that's not good, I don't know how to change it at all but to date all different kinds of men. I don't look forward to that though."</i>

(ME: So, you are just going to make the rounds of the bad until somebody kills you or loves you, is that it?)

<i>"I don't know. I'm just not going to be lucky that's all. So it is easier to hate and that why I am ready for most of the bastards. How do you turn optimistic when you have all this going on in your life? Yes, I know I am an easy target. I just know I don't go barhopping anymore cause of the fact of this. When I date I'm usually pretty positive, I try to, first dates I'm always like that, but after a while I turn into myself when I sense that the guy is just duhhh."</i>

Um...

<i>"Oh well. If I can be friends with good guys then maybe I can get that changed. But I'm not much of a pessimistic anymore.... since I died things has changed.... but I still have ex's that are just a pain in the asses."</i>

Since I died? :whofart:

Originally posted by McHawkson
:rolleyes: Not true.

All I can say that "deaf" people are much sensitive on how people (hearing or "deaf") treat them. They don't "band" together against anyone who treat them crap.




Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. At one point I was really interested in ASL slang, dialects, accents, poetry and so on, and there was a sociolinguistic paper that made the same claims that I did, just in less general terms. I did a quick search for it and couldn't find it, so I'll retract my statement.

WHAT?



...:)...

Originally posted by RoQuEr
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. At one point I was really interested in ASL slang, dialects, accents, poetry and so on, and there was a sociolinguistic paper that made the same claims that I did, just in less general terms. I did a quick search for it and couldn't find it, so I'll retract my statement.

I'm not offended at all.

Maybe I shouldn't use the rolleye smiley.. :)

Originally posted by eXcentris
WHAT?



...:)...

I think the main problem here is that she is undead!!! -eek-

How about...

http://peeldmonkeys.8k.com/images/keza-_middle_finger.jpg

http://page.netfirms.com/jpg/fatchat2.jpg

Oh my god, she's my MOM?!?!?!?

I've met some wacky people online, but this chick takes the cake.

What a freak! I'd stay away. Far far away.

I think I'm going to have sex with her. She's crazy but she's cute. Ack, I'm torn between my enjoyment of sane women and my johnson!!!!

Original rant by Crazy Deaf Girl
I'm sick of men cheating on me and telling me stories and lies and pissing in my shoes. TWO guys peed in my shoes and, sure, they say they didn't do it and that it might have been their cats but, come on, TWO cats peeing in the same shoes at two different houses?

(AFTER I ASKED WHEN SHE DATED EACH OF THEM, WERE THEY ROOMMATES WITH THE SAME CAT?)

No they were two different boyfriends. I was seeing them both at the same time and it was two different cats. I black one and a grey one. I hated the grey one. Maybe the grey one pissed in my shoes.




Uh-oh, they're starting to catch on to the "pissing cat" excuse. I'd better think of another one.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I think I'm going to have sex with her. She's crazy but she's cute. Ack, I turn between my enjoyment of sane women and my johnson!!!!

Stay the night. After she falls asleep, sneak out of the room and piss in her shoes, then sneak back in the room and go to sleep. Hilarity ensues!

Crazy deaf girl gets CRAZIER -eek-

"I am not usually a conversation starter..... I don't usually have anything to say to get it going... so it's tough......I thought you knew that already, and since you were always the one getting things going I got used to it..... I just didn't know what else to talk about, I'm just not a conversation starter. I never have been, a side effect of my memory loss"

"You expect me to be perfectly normal. Like all guys. Everyone is crazy. You can't expect every woman and man to be perfect. I know that's what you thought me to be when you first talked to me... but I really wasn't, that's why I told you about the memory loss. I forget things and I will blame other people unless they do ... "

"How can I make things up? Okay, let me expalin you something...... I lost my memory..... THEN I started halluciating, a portion of my memory loss.... a part."

(After she attacked me for not remembering something and I told her she never told me)

"It might have been someone else.... oh yes, I remember who that was now..... he wa on my list but I deleted him the other day cause he was going on and on and on and on about me being perfect, he was from Somailia.... weird guy."

"What? Hallucinations are part of dying and living again and memory loss.... it's a side effect but I don't have that much anymore unless it's late in the night..... Sometimes around midnight, well...THINGS happen."

"I just bug you more cause I like talking to you.... but it's okay if you want to avoid me completely because i'm different. Most people do except for the special certain few that are very understanding..... *smile* Like that guy I met on Sunday..... nice guy, talked to him forever. *Smile* "

"I guess you dont have much of a sense of humor like myself... I don't have much fo that either.... oh well."

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
"What? Hallucinations are part of dying and living again and memory loss.... it's a side effect but I don't have that much anymore unless it's late in the night..... Sometimes around midnight, well...THINGS happen."

This is the most bizarre thing she's said yet.

"I just bug you more cause I like talking to you.... but it's okay if you want to avoid me completely because i'm different. Most people do except for the special certain few that are very understanding..... *smile* Like that guy I met on Sunday..... nice guy, talked to him forever. *Smile* "

"I guess you dont have much of a sense of humor like myself... I don't have much fo that either.... oh well."

It's true! She's a martyr.

Originally posted by Breakfast with Girls
This is the most bizarre thing she's said yet.



Nope...THIS IS:

"Theres a lot of things you can get from death and losing your memory. From the death I got the ability to see the future... that was so tough with the memory loss..... When you die you see what your life could have been and it's just freaky. Would you like that? I dont see the future anymore... I'm glad though, I don't like having memory loss and then seeing the future and going, who is that?"

Cats will pee in shoes.

I've heard of them doing this.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
From the death I got the ability to see the future... that was so tough with the memory loss..... When you die you see what your life could have been and it's just freaky. Would you like that?

I think her question at the end is a thinly-veiled offer to kill you.

Originally posted by Breakfast with Girls
Stay the night. After she falls asleep, sneak out of the room and piss in her shoes, then sneak back in the room and go to sleep. Hilarity ensues!

Hell, if you want to test your creative juices, take a dump in her purse and then try to make up some kind of zany excuse.

I can't pull away from her rants. It's like some kind of crazy magnet. She keeps going on and on right now and I want to close the box and go to bed but she has be hypnotized with her insanity:

"Oh I can have a friend talk to you for me.... she'll say that yes, I did see the future... now I'm fine... thankfully. It's scary.... but that's up to you. Believe it or not... I don't have the ability anymore.... I onlyu saw up to a few years of the future that's all. I saw the towers come down in New York and I saw the war and I saw a cake a liked in a store and I knew that I'd meet you and have this talk. I see all the important things. I also see that the left part of the US and some of Canada will sink into the ocean Maybe next year or the year after. . . I'm not sure. But it's going to happen."

Bang her like a screen door.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I saw the towers come down in New York and I saw the war and I saw a cake I liked in a store and I knew that I'd meet you and have this talk. I see all the important things.

Don't all the great prophets have some sort of pastry or confectionery-related prediction at one point or another? I know there's that famous one about Nostradamus and Butterfinger.

STAY TUNED FOLKS because, as she says:

"Oh i am just getting started with the things I can tell you..."

ask her how she died. ask her for a pic. tell her to join and post here. this could be better than shaggy

wait, you chatting with her on AIM or ICQ or something? pass on the screen name ;)

rotfl rotfl!!!!

Okay, this thread has me rolling.

I think the only logical thing for you to do is to set up a meeting with her. Fly there if you have to. Then pee in her shoes and leave.

:lol: Good luck! :up:

I think View and a friend should date this girl for a while, and then dump her at the same time. ;)

There are only 3 possibilites with this chick:

1. She's making all this up, but I doubt it because people can't make up stuff like this.

2. She's certifiable.

3. And this is the scary one: she's telling the truth.

I'd definitely get a pic. Then bang her.

Originally posted by Venusian
ask her how she died. ask her for a pic. tell her to join and post here. this could be better than shaggy

Seriously View... hook us up here. AIM Screen name, or get her to post here. Your call. You just can't delete this thread if she comes here. We need an explanation. :lol:

Originally posted by Venusian
wait, you chatting with her on AIM or ICQ or something? pass on the screen name ;)

Sorry my friend, I do have morals...some...but I will post nice little tidbits like this:

View says:
Listen, not the change the subject, but what do you think about Twikof? You know, the famed Val Kilmer film.

CDG says:
Twikof? I admit I have never heard of it before......
I like Val Kilmer but I have never heard of that movie.

View says:
Really, you never heard of Twikof. Come on, you have to have heard of it at least once.

CDG says:
No... I honestly have never heard of that movie.

View says:
Well, Twikoff is this really sporty guy, right, can't get no lovin' for the life of him and suddenly he meets a rabit with a pancake on his head that saves his life and they have wacky adventures.
Sounds pretty good, huh? Oolong was up for an Oscar.

CDG says:
What? Now that I have never heard of it..... Is it a cartoon or just a movie? Hmm.... Oolong? Who's that?

View says:
No, the rabbit is real. No cartoon but the pancake was CGI to keep it on it's head.

CDG says:
That's odd..... but no I have never heard of that movie, I'm surprisedI have never heard of it though.
My uncle Tony is really into strange movies like that.
When did it come out?

View says:
1938

CDG:
I don't watch black and white. Sorry.

Introduce her to danol


:D

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
CDG says:
When did it come out?

View says:
1938

CDG:
I don't watch black and white. Sorry.

rotfl

View says:
What do you think of guys who are, like, I don't know, 26 and still live with thier parents and sleep in a top bunk above their brother and, instead of moving out, they want to buy a nice car.

CDG:
i don't think there is anything that wrong with that.

View says:
Baby, you are nuts.

val kilmer was in a 1938 movie? wow.


i say we BAN view, he's not sharing in the fun. tell her to join here!

:lol: she is topbunk's kinda girl. she'd fit in perfect here

ill talk to her if ya want seeing that im deaf... err hard of hearing..

seriously when i saw the topic it reminded me of all the stupid ************s who repeated "what" to me when i didnt hear em the first time.. and each and every time they did, it took every ounce inside of me not to break thier ****ing face...

but yeah she does seem nuts, i think she just wants attention personally and is talking out of her ass..

have fun with it, i know i would...

" I don't care anymore. I don't want to talk to people that don't get me. That don't want to even care. I'm tired of people . I know that because you don't understand at all. You never did say you did understand, so I am assuming you won't. Most men don't. *smile* Except for my father..... But he drinks"

"So you still don't understand? If you don't I think you will never understand.... my ex didn't which was why I broke up with him cause he was always yelling at me for my memory. My parents explained to him but since he has brain damage from all th drugs he used to take as a teenager he kept forgetting."

I can't make this kind of drama up, folks, the plot sickens. Oh, and I shall take requests of Otter'esq questions to ask. :p

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
" I don't care anymore. I don't want to talk to people that don't get me. That don't want to even care. I'm tired of people . I know that because you don't understand at all. You never did say you did understand, so I am assuming you won't. Most men don't. *smile* Except for my father..... But he drinks"

"So you still don't understand? If you don't I think you will never understand.... my ex didn't which was why I broke up with him cause he was always yelling at me for my memory. My parents explained to him but since he has brain damage from all th drugs he used to take as a teenager he kept forgetting."

I can't make this kind of drama up, folks, the plot sickens.

Aw, see, now you made me feel kind of bad for her.

I'm going to bed, but ask her when you'll die, and how. Surefire way to see if she's going to kill you!

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
Most men don't. *smile* Except for my father..... But he drinks"


:lol: My favorite part so far. Keep them coming.

"But (NAME OMITTED) was the nicest of them all... however he left when I got the heart attack.... figures. *L* Men."


The Truth Begins To Form:
"What? Okay, I am not all the way deaf but I can't hear so well."

More:
"i did some coke but only for a year and i tried pot becuase everyone tried it but that is not why i died. that was the other drug. I think and i don't know it's name but it is bad. It gives you memory loss and I won't do it again but pot helps me sometimes when I get...you know..."

ask her more about her death.

also if she knows shaggy.

there is a forum somewhere else where CDG is posting this talking about how this loser believes her and is still chatting with her.

Originally posted by Venusian
there is a forum somewhere else where CDG is posting this talking about how this loser believes her and is still chatting with her.

Yeah...

Somewhat I don't believe she's "deaf."

"I hate fighting with people but since I got sick I have fought with so many people more than ever.... before I was just flexible but since I had a huge life change it is harder for people to get along with me. You know, dying and the future. People thing you are crazy and so they cheat on you or steal your cat. By now I'm used to it. I tend to lie a bit, because of my illness, so people don't like that and can't udnstand that I only do it because I was sick. People are crazy like that."

This one's for you View... I strongly suggest sending it to her and letting her know that she's probably being stalked by the <B>deaf mute cat piss gang</B>. The first warning is pee in a deaf woman's shoes.

<img src="http://www.imageadventures.com/other/catpissdeaf.gif">

ask her why she didnt know her boyfriends woudl cheat on her or pee on her shoes if she can see the future

Originally posted by McHawkson
Yeah...

Somewhat I don't believe she's "deaf."

She says she is a little hard of hearing and not all the way deaf although, at first, she was all deaf.

And you mean like bizaro-DVDtalk?

And finally:

"Well I did fly one time but only after I died and came back. The next day I was in bed and suddenly I was in the tree next door. They had to get me down with a broom and I was naked.

No it wasn't a dream because I was in the paper but the article vanished when our house burned down three years ago"

Yeah, she's just messing with you now.

vanished? she doesnt mean burned? sounds like she's a drama queen....well sounds like she's a shaggy but still.

I don't know. I am not easily messed with and, really, she believes all this. I am sure some of it is lies because of her "illness" but you can tell that some of this, in her head, has become crazy fact.

But now you guys have got me thinking. Am I being put on? To answer this question I brought a friend of mine into the chat. I told CDG that he was my old shrink and I brought him in to help.

I'll keep you posted on what transpires.

If she was just messing with him, she would have realized he was playing with her with the mention of Val Kilmer's 1938 CGI-enhanced blockbuster.

Mr. Redman says:
Well CDG, I am here if you would like to talk.

CDG says:
Well..... I don't know what I need to talk about though View really feels that I need to talk to a doctor. I don't know why. *L* I already told him everything but he won't get a lot of things..... oh well.

Mr. Redman says:
Well, View did not tell me very much about the issue that you are refering to, so maybe you can enlighten me, then I can talk to him and maybe help him understand.

CDG says:
Oh that is what he wanted me to do? Hmm. I was talking to him about the fact that I have memory loss......

Mr. Redman:
And what, may I asked, caused this?

CDG says:
It was when I forgot my pills and had a heart attack and died when I was 19 though some wills ay it was drugs. Whatever. That is how I got it.

Mr. Redman:
So, the cause of this, is due to heart problems that you have, to which you were taking medication for, is this correct?

CDG says:
I just told you that. Do you have that problem too. . . Sorry, doctor, I am getting edgy again. It's after midnight.

Mr. Redman:
I am just trying to understand the situation. Please, be patient CDG.

Am I as high as this thread is making me think I am?

I figured i had to post in this crazy deaf girl thread.

did we ever get a pic of this crazy deaf girl?

Originally posted by Thor Simpson
This one's for you View... I strongly suggest sending it to her and letting her know that she's probably being stalked by the <B>deaf mute cat piss gang</B>. The first warning is pee in a deaf woman's shoes.

<img src="http://www.imageadventures.com/other/catpissdeaf.gif">

rotfl Thor, you have once again outdone yourself!!!!

- - -
The Redman Session Continues:

Mr. Redman says:
OK, you said that this happened when you were 19, can I ask how old you are now?

CDG says:
23.....

Mr. Redman says:
And since this has happened, have there been any other side affects that you have experienced?

CDG says:
Since in all those years?

Mr. Redman says:
Yes, from then until now.

CDG says:
Um.... I have experienced hallucinations.... Forgetfulness... umm, but the only thing I can really remember is hallucinations...... That's all right. Hallucinations, but I don't have that much anymore..... I still have memory loss.... short term at most.... umm.... what else? My mom says another side effect was my temper. *L* But it's not as bad as it was before....

Mr. Redman says:
Ok, and what kind of hallucinations were you experiencing?

CDG says:
I don't know. They were gory, just.... it was stupid. I was seeing little people.... I was seeing dead people. See, when I woke up I was able to see the future so I was mixing up the hallucinations with the seeing the future things..... so I was always really scared that the hallucinations were real..... things were happening that I had seen so I was paranoid. Dead people, little people....

Mr Redman says:
Interesting, you said that you could see the future. I have had a few patients that have gone through similar things, and the too could see the future. Please tell me, when you saw the future, what was it you were seeing?

CDG says:
Yes.... most of the time it was mostly minor things, things that will happen a few minutes later.... the first few things I was seeing was everyday life... I remember seeing smoke and saying that there was a fire somewhere and that we should help and at that very moment a firetruck blared on by to the next door apartment..... most of the time it's all things that is related to my friend's lives or songs on the radio. Important things like the towers coming down. I saw my birthday cake in a store window before my mom gave it to me.

- - -

She sees dead people?

Originally posted by gcribbs
I figured i had to post in this crazy deaf girl thread.

did we ever get a pic of this crazy deaf girl?

I got one but I don't think I should post it though. I think displaying her crazy rants for the entire world to see is enough, don't you? She looks normal enough, however.

- - -

Mr. Redman says:
May I ask, how is your life now, what I mean by this is, your home life, the way people treat you, how have you managed to deal with these things.

CDG says:
Oh, I'm okay.... my family is the only group of people that really get me which is the part I find very funny. One of my friends had a very hard time with it till she took developmental services worker program in college and she says she totally undersatnds what I am going through.... my other friends just find it funny but since they have known me such a long time they are okay with it.
They just listen most of the time and always get curious about new things that come up. They are quite enthusiastic about it. They never used to.... they didn't believe that all this was actually fact but since they have seen it all they are used to it. When I blow up they just back off then slowly work with me and get my mind working normally and I'm back to normal. They have known me since kindergarten. It helps. *smile* Very close to all of them.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I got one but I don't think I should post it though. I think displaying her crazy rants for the entire world to see is enough, don't you? She looks normal enough, however.

There's a rule that says you have to post the pic. But the rule died, and i forgot where it is.

I'm quite enjoying this thread. May I suggest having the doctor asking "her first memory of being sexually arroused". I have a feeling it is going to be sig material.

Originally posted by Breakfast with Girls
Don't all the great prophets have some sort of pastry or confectionery-related prediction at one point or another? I know there's that famous one about Nostradamus and Butterfinger. rotfl This whole thread is an amazing surreal experience. Like I died and forgot what I was doing then started hallucinating...

Some word association with Mr. Redman:

Mr. Redman says:
Balloon

CDG says:
Okay... Air.

Mr. Redman says:
Puppy

CDG says:
love

Mr. Redman says:
Johnson
CDG says:
work

Mr. Redman says:
Men
CDG says:
pain

Mr. Redman says:
Twikof

CDG says:
movie

Mr. Redman says:
Topbunk

CDG says:
army?

Mr. Redman says:
Flatulate

CDG says:
Men

Mr. Redman says:
Shaggy

CDG says:
movie

Mr. Redman says:
Aspect Ratio

CDG says:
math??

Mr. Redman says:
Richard Simmons

CDG says:
Weirdo

Mr. Redman says:
Geoff

CDG says:
stranger?

Mr. Redman says:
Sex

CDG says:
fun

Mr. Redman says:
Otters

CDG says:
funny

Mr. Redman says:
That guy at work who always eats the last donut

CDG says:
pig

Mr. Redman says:
Keyser Soze

CDG says:
volcano?

Mr. Redman says:
Drugs

CDG says:
fun...no high

Mr. Redman says:
Satan

CDG says:
Men

Mr. Redman says:
God

CDG says:
the unknown

Originally posted by joshd2012
I'm quite enjoying this thread. May I suggest having the doctor asking "her first memory of being sexually arroused". I have a feeling it is going to be sig material.

CDG:
"Um.... I can't really remember that... I just know I was really young and the person had a lot of hair and a tattoo with a bird. He told me to call him Mr. and smelled bad. I don't remember any acts if that's what you wanted to know. He touched me and I felt like dying and in heaven at the same time. He never came back and that makes me kind of sad. You sure ask weird questions for a doctor."

This thread is pure insanity but View you got me hooked. I don't care who this girl is, but do you mind telling me what online chatting service this is? It seems interesting.

(After Mr. Redmen left saying he thought she had some anger issues brought on by her illness I asked her if the conversation helped her. Her reply--)

CDG:
Helped who? Me? I was fine. Nothing wrong. It's other people who don't get me. I had the same comments from the other psychologist at most and they don't know. They don't get me. On my father so I don't listen to them. It's late. I get worse before sunrise.

---

SHE'S A VAMPIRE NOW!!!! :jawdrop:

If I had to describe this thread in 4 letters: ROFL



*smile*


;)

Well, that's all the fun for the evening, folks. She said her BF came over (she told me she was single before...must be memory loss) and she needed to see him. If there is more you'll be the first to know.

What an odd night.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
She said her BF came over (she told me she was single before...must be memory loss) and she needed to see him.
And he needed to piss on her shoes.

It's not that deep homie. Remember the internet IS NOT real life. It is easy to get rid of people. You can always block IMs or e-mails. In the future just assume that everyone on the internet is a psycho and it will save you alot of grief.

I say marry her.

You'll never find a girl this special again and if her clairvoyance returns, you'll be set for life.

man I've really, really missed this place :rofl:

Originally posted by boston george
It's not that deep homie. Remember the internet IS NOT real life. It is easy to get rid of people. You can always block IMs or e-mails. In the future just assume that everyone on the internet is a psycho and it will save you alot of grief. Did you read the whole thread? :hscratch: Or did you just read the thread title and the first post?

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
CDG:
"Um.... I can't really remember that... I just know I was really young and the person had a lot of hair and a tattoo with a bird. He told me to call him Mr. and smelled bad. I don't remember any acts if that's what you wanted to know. He touched me and I felt like dying and in heaven at the same time. He never came back and that makes me kind of sad. You sure ask weird questions for a doctor."

Damn. I was hoping this was going to be a lot weirder. Oh well. Thanks for asking! :)

Originally posted by joshd2012
Damn. I was hoping this was going to be a lot weirder. Oh well. Thanks for asking! :)

Oh, and that wasn't weird enough! :p

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
Oh, and that wasn't weird enough! :p

I really don't know what I was looking for here, but something more unique then "I was molested by a dirty adult when I was young" sort of thing. I do agree that is pretty weird though.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
" I don't care anymore. I don't want to talk to people that don't get me. That don't want to even care. I'm tired of people . I know that because you don't understand at all. You never did say you did understand, so I am assuming you won't. Most men don't.

So most men don't understand her. hmmm .. I worry about the few crazies that do get her.

Anyway, about the veiled insult about "most men" being this or that ... have you asked her if in contrast, most women do actually understand her ??

Originally posted by Saxofonix
So most men don't understand her. hmmm .. I worry about the few crazies that do get her.

Anyway, about the veiled insult about "most men" being this or that ... have you asked her if in contrast, most women do actually understand her ??

I asked her this at one point and her reply was something to the extent:

"Well, I tend to have more men around me because women are strange. Only my close girl friends know me and get me so I don't know."

Don't talk to her ;)

Crazy chicks Generally = Hot looking...but they're still crazy.

Originally posted by boston george
It's not that deep homie. Remember the internet IS NOT real life. It is easy to get rid of people. You can always block IMs or e-mails. In the future just assume that everyone on the internet is a psycho and it will save you alot of grief.


He doesnt' want to block her and he wants to "hit it" bad.

he's turned on by the nuttiness.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
"Well, I tend to have more men around me because women are strange. Only my close girl friends know me and get me so I don't know."

OK .. I feel less insulted now, since it actually appears that most men AND women don't get her. ;)

Originally posted by Giantrobo
He doesnt' want to block her and he wants to "hit it" bad.

he's turned on by the nuttiness.

Woooaaa! Back the horse up there chester!




















Let's not forget what Jolt said about the bedroom noises. :p

View... what's the latest? How did you greet her in the morning?

Originally posted by Thor Simpson
View... what's the latest? How did you greet her in the morning?

There is none...
She's...she's...vanished. :whofart:

(Actually, she only comes on in the night
I'll let you know if she regales me again
this eve)

View, the important thing to ask her is, does she think I'm cute? ;)

Originally posted by kenny79
View, the important thing to ask her is, does she think I'm cute? ;) milton, you're getting desparate... ;)

Mr. Redman says:
Sex

CDG says:
fun


Everything else she has ever said is now irrelevant. This is all you need to know. Set up a date. :D

Originally posted by LurkerDan
milton, you're getting desparate... ;)
Hey, his last woman thought I was.

This is better than any of those reality shows on TV :up:

http://www.theforumisdown.com/uploadfiles/0103/CDG.jpg

THE EMAIL:

View

Last night was strange for me because I normally don't talk about the future anymore and not to doctors because they never get me or understand. You don't either and I am sorry for you but hey not every can understand everything. But last night I had a vision of the future again...just like that and it said to watch out of you because of a special tattoo you have on your arm. I know you have one so don't lie and say you don't. This is a warning to not pressure me to tell you about those things because you don't want to know what I saw and how it will happen. But it had something to do with a ghost, okay, and he know you an dtold me about the tattoo and he said that you could either kill me or bring me flowers but to beware any man with that mark. I normally don't listen to ghosts, ok, but this one was honest and was in white and had a blue cross and he knew things about me that even my father doesn't. I can't tell you those things, ok, so DON'T ASK!!! Oh I can hear ghosts when they talk if you are wondering how i heard this one. I can't explain it but they have power, ok. Don't ask. Anyway I want to keep talking to you but you have to get me, ok, and understand that I have these things, most you don't know, that maybe you shouldnt know about. If you get closer I can tell you, ok. Don't get worried but I told the ghost to go to you tonight becaue I think you need him. YOu won't see him but I know he is there with you maybe now and he will help you get me, maybe. Ok. Talk to you later and remember what I said.

Hugs,

CDG

- - - -

(For the record I don't have a tattoo and I also want to add:

-eek- AHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! -eek-

I dated a deaf girl once, she read lips. When I did not want to talk to her I turned the lights out. Doesn't help you though.

View, CDG's not gonna kill you... her corporeally challenged friend will! -eek-

Originally posted by RaMMaR
View, CDG's not gonna kill you... her corporeally challenged friend will! -eek-

Come on, comment on my cleaver Polterguist connection.
COME ON!!!!!
It took my three hours to do that....

:p

I mean, indeed, I must be weary of the undead.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
It took my three hours to do that....

Sad, sad. -ohbfrank-

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
http://www.theforumisdown.com/uploadfiles/0103/CDG.jpg



Gee golly is that picture swell! Mister you sure are good at that picture changing thing stuff! That looks spooky and really clever like a movie or something! :D :thumbsup:

Originally posted by McHawkson
Sad, sad. -ohbfrank-

I drew Caroline from scratch. :mad:

Just kidding, that took all of three minutes but let us not stray from the topic at hand, huh? She hasn't come on yet but I am waiting to question her about this email.

Should I send her an email back?
Any ideas what should go on this email?

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I drew Caroline from scratch. :mad:

Just kidding, that took all of three minutes but let us not stray from the topic at hand, huh? She hasn't come on yet but I am waiting to question her about this email.

Should I send her an email back?
Any ideas what should go on this email?

View, you probably shouldn't send an email back. That's like inviting craziness into your life. (But as a casual observer I can't wait for the latest installment of CDG.)

That took you 3 hours? My deaf pissing cat gang picture only took like an hour. :D

CDG says:
"I don't want to talk tonight, okay, because of what I told you. *G* You are not alone now. *L*"

View says:
"Do you mean the ghost that knows me is here?"

CDG says:
"Yes so be careful because he knows all about you."

View says:
"That sounds like a threat."

CDG says:
"It isn't okay don't think that. He'll only kill you if you pressure me again with questions. I warned you, right, I said that THINGS happen. You didn't get me so now i can't stop what happens, ok. But don't worry because I'm not mean or crazy. I just get tired of things and wel..."

View says:
"Well what?"

CDG says:
"Listen, I better go, ok. I don't want anything to happen and the colors are dark tonight. i'm going to go to bed before the get any darker, ok. It is best for you this way. for US!!! It's just a bad night. The full moon makes me...well, never mind. Goodnight. BIG HUGS!!!!"

-----

And like that *woosh* she's gone.

Originally posted by Thor Simpson
That took you 3 hours? My deaf pissing cat gang picture only took like an hour. :D

Damn it! I was kidding. I was looking for acknowledgement. I was...I was... "WAAAAAAAAA!" :p

Poor View...

what is *G* and *L*?

Originally posted by Venusian
what is *G* and *L*?

She has this crazy way (YEAH NO KIDDING!!!) of placing a *G* or an *L* or sometimes an *S* after certain words or sentences to let you know she is joking or being lighthearted, I guess.

I assume G=grin / L=Laugh / S=Smile

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
(For the record I don't have a tattoo ...

.. but we all know you have one so don't lie and say you don't. ;)

Originally posted by Venusian
what is *G* and *L*? George and Lucas?

The funniest thing ever would be for View to stop posting on the forum for like 2 weeks to make us think he's dead.

:lol:

Originally posted by ClarkKentKY
The funniest thing ever would be for View to stop posting on the forum for like 2 weeks to make us think he's dead.

:lol:

It'd be even funnier if I actually WAS dead.
:lol: rotfl rotfl :lol:


















:whofart:

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
Some word association with Mr. Redman:

Mr. Redman says:
Keyser Soze

CDG says:
volcano

Yea, yea, yea... that was a long time ago. I rocked her world. -ptth-

She's not as crazy as "Crazy Russian Girl" though. -rolleyes-

-k
###

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
Oh I can hear ghosts when they talk if you are wondering how i heard this one. I can't explain it but they have power, ok. Don't ask.

This confirms it, she is really Haley Joel Osment. She has the Sixth Sense!

Get more info on the peeing in shoes business. I just don't get that. And send her the pic!

Originally posted by WWE Jedi
This confirms it, she is really Haley Joel Osment. She has the Sixth Sense!

http://home.comcast.net/~soze/see_dumb_people.jpg

-k
###

"He'll only kill you if you pressure me again with questions. I warned you, right"

Holy **** Dude....

What state is she in?

and...is the Ghost's named Casper? if not ask her what the ghosts name is...

Ask if the Ghost is in a Jar.

I sometimes wonder why my DVD back log pile is getting higher and higher. Then I realize it is because of these threads in Other. Between this one and the ebay/crayon one...

This chick is definitely not faking it all. She may be screwing with you a bit, or she may think she is just messing with you, but she is really one ****ing crazy almost-deaf girl.

I would say don't even attempt to meet her, but to pass up on pissing in her shoes would be just wrong.

Originally posted by LurkerDan
Did you read the whole thread? :hscratch: Or did you just read the thread title and the first post?

Yeah I just read the first post. But now that I've read the rest I still stand by my advice.

Originally posted by WWE Jedi
This confirms it, she is really Haley Joel Osment. She has the Sixth Sense!

:hscratch: hmmm... I thought she's Donnie Darko.

View -- just in case nobody has stopped laughing enough to actually try and give you some sound advice:

STAY AWAY FROM THE CRAZY DEAF GIRL!

Crazy women may be great in bed, but they are not worth it. They will infect your life with your craziness and it will take you YEARS to pick up all the pieces. Even a casual fling with a crazy woman can have severe reprecussions:

http://www.videopremiereawards.com/ReviewPics/FatalAttraction.jpg

Mmm... rabbit soup, anyone?

*L*

looks a bit like the L is a nose and the two * are eyes if you ask me... not sure bout the G bit... hmmm.

You need to make the call, dude!

http://webpages.marshall.edu/~yeager10/pictures/ghostbusters.jpg

I think you need to tell her you had a little talk with the ghost ....

I say start getting even weirder than her when talking to her. Just start saying random stuff. Non-sequiturs. Talk about how you had a conversation with the ghost and it told you some pretty dirty stuff about her.

tell her the gost came to you in the form of neve campbell. she forced sex on you to make sure you were good enough for cdg.

it was so good, you pissed in your own shoe.

***In following some of the advice posted here I sent this email that discussed my meeting with her "ghost" and traded some of my own words of insanity with her. Thus far I have received no reply***

Dear Crazy Deaf Girl,

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more." (Edgar Allen Poe – The Raven)

I quote the text above only because it is the first thing that entered my mind last evening just after the midnight clock chimed and I was visited by an apparition that I would know just as you predicted. This was not a vision of my old business partner one Mr. Marley as I might have suspected. You see, a long time ago, when we were children, in a galaxy far, far away –ho ho- I made the fatal error of stealing the Tauntaun form his Hoth Luke figure. Leaving the figure with no beast to brave the frigid temperatures of such a planet, Jacob was basically left with a useless toy and, thus, discarded it for the only other figure his poor family could afford, a Tusken Raider that was missing his head. He named it Chachie. Chachie was hardly a match for my Lando and Greedo Combo –chosen for the obvious rhyme scheme. But, I digress. When Billy McGruff, the neighborhood bully and town gossip, learned of my thievery he, like the snot nosed She-ra shirt wearing punk he was [yes he ACTUALLY wore his sister Kim’s She-ra shirt, Kowl and all], he reported his findings back to Jacob. Marley was infuriated and not only did he not invite me to his 10th Birthday Party, a milestone event in town because he swore to us all that Anthony Daniels AND his famous cousin Bob would be there in person, but he also swore that he would haunt me to his dying day. That day came the day after his 10th Birthday when he tried to transform into Grimlock and broke his own neck. I never got to reconcile, I never was able to return this Tauntaun that would plague my teen years so and, thus, I was cursed with Marley’s ghost to forever haunt me. Marley never came, however, and it was my obvious first choice of whom this specter might be in your email correspondence and our brief and alarming chat prior to the vision. Imagine my surprise when the being appeared before my horror filled eyes.

Hitler!!!

Why, oh why, have you sent to me this vile fiend, murderer of millions and the most evil creature (next to Satan and Richard Simmons) of our time? Of course I know this person, how could anyone not and I question your sanity and character to be fraternizing with the likes of this foul beast! It did not matter to me that you professed this ghost to be “good” by the fact that it wore “white and had a blue cross”. Did you also notice it had a swastika on its back and carried with it Mein Kampf? Did you not see this? How you could claim this spirit to be a goodly one is beyond me, missy.

“I have come to see your tattoo,” he said in a French accent but he wasn’t fooling me, baby! “You have the marking.” I stood tall and raised the only weapon that I had at my disposal. “I have no such tattoo, evil doer, and be gone!” I shouted waving my Twikoff in front of the being, daring him to strike. Knowing that all specters, evil or Casper like, fear Twikoff I was not surprised when the creature spit red lights in the shapes of watermelon seeds out of his mouth towards me. Twikof was quick to dismiss this puny effort and, with the power of all the beings lead by the Great Geoff, I stood tall and flung my large, throbbing Twikoff towards Hitler and, in a big flash of pink neon and disco lights, Hitler was banished from my dwelling.

I am not amused by your attempt to frighten me with such ghosts and I am a far more powerful being then you may know, Crazy Deaf Girl. You are not the only one of this realm with powers. You know now the power of my Twikoff. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ignite the wrath of my Minifigg!!!

As you have stated many times, I do not “GET” you. Well hear this and harken my word upon this day. Any more attempts on my life by sending Nazi dictators into my home where I sleep and watch Facts of Life reruns will be met with great vengeance and furious anger and you will get ME, my dear, when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Big Hugs,

View

^^ wtf was that weird $**(#?

:thumbsup:

I think my head just exploded.

Originally posted by SleepyW
I think my head just exploded.

Was it with laughter or was it with fear?

Man, now I can't wait for her reply.






oh yeah *G*

This is just too hilarious. rotfl

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
Was it with laughter or was it with fear?

I thought I was reading a Dennis Miller rant. I picked up on the Taun Taun references (having a snow Han Solo figure whose thumb broke off due to being in the snow, so i can relate).

If she didn't want to kill you before.......

Originally posted by SleepyW
I thought I was reading a Dennis Miller rant. I picked up on the Taun Taun references (having a snow Han Solo figure whose thumb broke off due to being in the snow, so i can relate).

If she didn't want to kill you before.......

I always liked Dennis Miller. I wanted to sound crazy but formal. I think I achieved that. :p

Other references:

*A Christmas Carol (Jacob Marley's ghost)
*The Raven (Edgar Allen Poe)
*Grimlock (famed leader of the Dinobots)
*Lando and Greedo (Lando betrayed Han and Greedo shot first)
*She-ra and Kowl (The girly girl version of He-man)
*Anthony Daniels (C3PO)
*Bob Marley
*Mein Kemph (Hitler's book)
*Pulp Fiction
*Facts of Life

- - -

Now if that isn't CRAZY I don't know what is. The most dangerous kind of nut is an educated nut.

Quoath the View, Nevermore,

:p

wow

This is the wildest thread I have read here, and that is saying a lot really.

Just wild stuff.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I wanted to sound crazy but formal.

Oh...the straight jacket with a tie idea. ;) I believe that's called "eccentric".

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I always liked Dennis Miller. I wanted to sound crazy but formal. I think I achieved that. :p

Other references:

*A Christmas Carol (Jacob Marley's ghost)
*The Raven (Edgar Allen Poe)
*Grimlock (famed leader of the Dinobots)
*Lando and Greedo (Lando betrayed Han and Greedo shot first)
*She-ra and Kowl (The girly girl version of He-man)
*Anthony Daniels (C3PO)
*Bob Marley
*Mein Kemph (Hitler's book)
*Pulp Fiction
*Facts of Life

- - -

Now if that isn't CRAZY I don't know what is. The most dangerous kind of nut is an educated nut.

Quoath the View, Nevermore,

:p Wow, both you and Dennis feel the need to point out how clever you are to your audience, as well!

I skimmed some of this so how is Charles De Gaulle Airport involved? Did you fly through Paris

Wellll, what's really gonna bake your noodle later on is, could you still have written such an email reply if you hand't met Crazy "Deaf" Girl© in the first place?

-smile-

-Gunshy

Does this girl... sorry, Crazy "Deaf" Girl©, come with a flow chart?

Originally posted by Bushdog
Wow, both you and Dennis feel the need to point out how clever you are to your audience, as well!

<i>Anyone who ever said a dog was man's best friend never had a pet chimpanzee.</i>
--Dennis Miller

:p

Wow....this is probably the most insane thing I have ever read on this board. And I've seen a lot of crazyness here.

Wow.

All I can say is thanks for sharing this, View. :lol: I've never felt saner in my life.

My life feels so incomplete now.

I want my own Crazy Deaf Girl.

Love the word association.

Originally posted by WhoGirl
Wow....this is probably the most insane thing I have ever read on this board. And I've seen a lot of crazyness here.

Wow.

All I can say is thanks for sharing this, View. :lol: I've never felt saner in my life.

Yeah, be happy I didn't post the Crazy WhoGirl threads. ;)

please .....



Please.....



PLEASE.....


(dont) Stop the maddness..rotfl



....Can't breath...laughing too hard..


I may have to pee in my own shoe..I cant tear myself away from this thread..




Oh god....

Hmm, this is getting scary. Take a look at this usenet post from 1999 - I think this dude knew Crazy Deaf Girl©!


From: Marco McClean
Subject: my dreams from being away this week, including /The Cruel Tragedy of the Town's Crazy, Deaf Girl/
Newsgroups: alt.dreams
Date: 1999/12/02

The gathering posse passes a critical number and
becomes an agricultural college's obligatory art class/ barn
get-together. The town's crazy deaf girl comes into the
ceramic studio/ barn, sizes everyone up, then comes to me,
takes my air gun and examines it. She's interested and
careless. When she turns it to look straight down the barrel
I know enough not to grab at it. I wave my arms, /No! No!/
She smiles like the Mona Lisa, hands me back the weapon
but keeps her grip on it, putting her other arm around my
waist and stepping up onto my toes, hugging me to her-- this
was what she wanted, just to hug me with her face turned
sideways into my chest, and to rock gently left and right.
We dance slowly, gracefully around the inside edge of
the barn and I learn to understand what she's saying without
her having to speak, which she can't really do aloud. She
wants to know, /What is this?/ --This?-- Love? Dancing?
Blow-dart gun? Communication? Question? Humor? Barn?
I disengage from her, put the gun against a bench and
gesture, saying, "It's a ceramics class," over-mouthing the
words for her to lip-read. Other cowboy/winery college kids
are standing around the bench watching the college's only
art teacher, a collapsed, forlorn woman, demonstrate a
small, electric potter's wheel. You know, art. She’s making
an Indian pot.
A lot of time passes-- forward or backward, I can't
tell. I've kicked over my job in the city and gone to spend
the summer living in a remote, hilly cornfield with the deaf
girl. We’re in love, I think. She's fine out here alone with
me. No-one makes fun of her and she doesn't break down. We lie in the sun in a clearing made of pressed-down grass/corn
and she swims through the grass like a beautiful snake, like
a fish flying underwater...
Summer's over. The winery people come back in lumber
trucks, unloading, at the creek and dirt road confluence
down our hill, stacks of short, orange two-by-fours and very
long dusty, dry two-by-eight planks and four-by-10 beams.
All this dust-raising activity agitates the girl. She goes
off and I can't find her. On a hunch I go down to the
woodsheds and there she is, hiding, peeking at a stocky,
scary, muscular little blond man who's pretending he doesn't
know she's there.
I understand now. This is the killer. The deaf girl saw
the murder and no-one would pay attention to her. He's going
to kill her now, too.
I walk out between them with my pitiful air gun. He
laughs at me, takes it away from me. Breaks it into straws.
Am /I/ ineffectual, crazy and deaf now too? Yes.
No! I start screaming for help, pushing the girl ahead
of me, away from the horrible man, toward houses in the
distance. There are some people in Victorian clothes out
strolling, but they don't get the message; they walk past
and away-- all they'll remember is that I acted crazy.
They’re gone. I grab up a long, sickle-like knife thing from
its hook on a fencepost and get ready to try to stop the
man. He's laughing and laughing, quipping snidely in French,
a language that sounds like sarcastically throwing up. He'll
beat me up. Or, worse, I'll kill him with the knife and
/I'll/ be the murderer!
That's what happens. We close, I can't fairly fight him
or wrestle him --he's too strong-- and I run the
two-foot-long knife into his chest all the way to the
handle, twisting as I push it, and we stand there holding
each other up while he becomes a mass of wrinkly, gray-black
carbon.
The poor girl is standing, seeing all this, screaming
(silently), crying, breathing with her mouth wide open, her
eyes wide open, terrified, a stunned, traumatized bird. This
is the murder she saw.
Oh, awful! Awful! I wake up crying. Merde, how I hate
French people and farmers!
Of course, now that I'm awake it's just funny, except
for that poor girl. I don't exactly hate French people. I've
always felt nervous and creeped out when stuck in farming
communities, though. I feel that superstitious,
crazy-violent things are constantly going on there in
private, between essentially consenting adults but also
involving children. Harvest festival human sacrifices to the
Corn God. "Venison" sausages made of Uncle Jacques. Blood
feuds between across-the-street church congregations over a
coveted apple-pie prize. Sports where you run down hairless
domestic animals --fat Chihuahuas or pet pigs-- and bite
them to death while the school band plays Christmas carols
and the high school fight song. Meanwhile, paranoid
super-patriotic militia wackos collect drums full of
fertilizer and diesel fuel. Stuff like that.


Well, at least in his dreams - perhaps she appeared to him as a ghost :) Check out how interested she was in the gun, the muscular little man (probably splattered with tats), and the fact that she "saw" the murder before it happened! :eek: OK, I left the last paragraph on there 'cause it was just insane. And I thought my dreams were effed up :lol:

-Gunshy

just read through this whole damn thread, and i've never read anything so hillarious. i can hardly breathe at this point!!

WOW!

***Her reply***

View,

I was at my parents today and that is why I didn't get your email until now so I am not ignoring you although maybe I should after reading it. I think you are the one who has problems, ok, making fun of me and my visions and my honesty. Do you think I would send Hitler to you. I don't knwo what you saw but I think you are ********ting me, ok. What I saw was your father. I didn't want to tell you for fear of hurting you but that is what it was. He told me about your tattoo and YOU KNOW THE ONE so stop lying and saying you don't have it. Do you want me to mention the snake? I was not threatening your life and I think you are paranoid about my powers. I am not a witch, ok, jsut something happened after my illness and it gave me this. You don't have to make fun of it by saying I am a nazi, whatever you mean by that. And what the **** is Twikoff? Wasn't it that movie? Minifigg? I don't care about that. And who the hell is the people of Geoff. Is that Greek? Idon't think you have any power, not like me, and you shoulding pretend that you do because you don't know what you can be messing with. On my Ouija board your father told me he knew you were a trouble maker and I should avoid your mark. I don't want to listen because we had nice talk until you started pressuring me about this stuff. I know you hate me but I think you are alright and you can joke all you want but some people have these powers, like seeing the future and ghosts, and people like you just don't get it!!! OK! You didn't die and go into the past and see yourself born, right? You didn't see your whole life and you didn't see the dark part of the world. You don't want to go there. I know....Some people have this....mostly women and it comes from having died once before. Sometimes I don't even know if I am alive but whatever. Anyway, if you want me to contact your friend Jacob I can but you really should think of these things before messing with what you don't know ok. I still want to talk to you but if you are going to keep lieing and cheating me and not understanding I am going to have to really prove it to you and maybe you want that. Right now I think you should think about it and when you are ready to understand you just messege me and maybe i will tell you. Oh and your father is still there you know. He won't be leaving for sometime. He's watching and so am I.

Big Hugs,

Crazy Deaf Girl

- - -

(My father is very much alive. I still don't have a tattoo.)

just when i thought i could laugh no more, you drop this on us!!!


rotfl

Yeah... Ouji isn't real anyway.

LOL. She IS a Pycho. Also, your dad is 'telling' her things? How? She is DEAF, right? Unless your dad is also telepathic...hmm...

Originally posted by GizmoDVD
LOL. She IS a Pycho. Also, your dad is 'telling' her things? How? She is DEAF, right? Unless your dad is also telepathic...hmm...

Well, he did seem to always know where I stashed my dirty magazines... hummmm....

Yipes! Just Yipes!

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I don't knwo what you saw but I think you are ********ting me, ok.

I'm usually fairly good at puzzles but I need to buy a vowel on that one.

Originally posted by joshd2012
Yipes! Just Yipes!

One of Us, One of Us! Hehehehehe

Originally posted by GizmoDVD
One of Us, One of Us! Hehehehehe

rotfl

Nice usage of the animated series dudes.

And the ******** word was bulls hitting. ;)

...I think you are ********ting me...

http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/images/smilies/eek7.gif

I just thought it would be appropriate to bring in Clerks: Animated Series into a thread started by ViewAskewbian. That scene is burned into my brain.

Originally posted by GaryEA
http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/images/smilies/eek7.gif

She post above your post.

- - -

View says:
Are you on?

CDG says:
Yes but I can't talk right now. I'm watching a movie. *G*

View says:
Is it Twikoff?

CDG says:
No I couldn't find it so I rented Shallow Hal.

View says:
Oh, steller film. I could not believe Jack Black was not up for the Oscar. Do you think his name is fake? You know, because it rhymes?

CDG says:
I don't know. *L* But I don't really want to talk tonight ok. I don't feel right.

View says:
You know what movie always makes me feel better?

CDG says:
What?

View says:
Hey, remember when you told me about guys pissing in your shoes. Well, something really odd happened last night after Hitler...I mean my father left. What do you think of the new McGriddle? I think they are liquid poison. Only they are not liquid and well I guess poison can already be a liquid.

CDG says:
Slow down. What are you talking about? What about (NAME OMITED) and (NAME OMITED)? I told you what they did to my dress shoes, right? What happened.

View says:
I recommend, if you are going to eat the McGriddle, to just, you know, chug a Mason jar full of battery acid while listening to the new Christina Auguilera single. TERRIBLE! Did I tell you about

CDG says:
WAIT!

View says:
What? Oh, the shoes. When the ghost left last night, this morning, I found piss in my shoes. I sware to Geoff, I did. Do you think Hitler pissed in me shoes?

CDG says:
There you go again, making fun. I am not in the mood tonight ok but tomorrow night maybe I will show you something. you will just have to wait and see. goodbye view.

View says:
WAIT!

CDG says:
What?

View says:
Don't you want to know the movie that always makes me feel good?

CDG says:
Fine what.

View says:
Goodburger.

CDG says:
I'll rent it tomorrow. Ok, goodbye.

View says:
Promise.

CDG says:
Yes.

View says:
Wait!

CDG says:
WJHAT!!!

View says:
You told me you don't have a DVD player and you rent movies. How do you hear them? Do they all have subtitles.

(After a long pause)

CDG says:
I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.

- - -

And once again she was gone.

Any chance she's seeing the future at a time where your dad has passed and you DO have a tattoo?

Or maybe she's describing Kevin Smith and has you confused.

This chick needs to get booked when Art Bell hosts a show again...

View says:
You told me you don't have a DVD player and you rent movies. How do you hear them? Do they all have subtitles.

There's closed caption, you idiot!!! :lol:

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
View says:
You told me you don't have a DVD player and you rent movies. How do you hear them? Do they all have subtitles.

(After a long pause)

CDG says:
I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.

Priceless. rotfl

Originally posted by McHawkson
There's closed caption, you idiot!!! :lol:

Yeah, I realized that after I asked but her long pause begs questioning, does it not?

Yeah but how does she see the closed captions without the DVD player.....huh?

Originally posted by nazz
Yeah but how does she see the closed captions without the DVD player.....huh?

It's possible she rented VHS movies - they usually come out with closed caption.

Originally posted by McHawkson
It's possible she rented VHS movies -

Now that IS crazy.

Originally posted by McHawkson
It's possible she rented VHS movies - they usually come out with closed caption.

This is probably the case as she mentioned that she only watches the new films or big blockbuster films. This might be why she doesn't rent the older flicks because they don't have CC. Just a thought?

So mayhap she really is deaf. Doesn't make her any less crazy. :p

Well... it's possible.

Most every tv out now has a closed caption option and just about every movie thats come out on vhs in the last 15 years has a cc box on it that means u can watch it with closed captioning...

All u gotta do is click Options on ur tv and u should see closed captioning...

Oh man. :lol: McGriddle.

What about this part, View?

"Do you want me to mention the snake?"

snake???

Originally posted by ClarkKentKY
Oh man. :lol: McGriddle.

What about this part, View?

snake???

I thought it was a cryptic reference to my python sized manhood.

Thanks for the laughs! *g*

I'll be waiting for you to make her go HAAAARRR! :lol:

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
CDG says:
Yes but I can't talk right now. I'm watching a movie. *G*

View says:
Is it Twikoff?

CDG says:
No I couldn't find it so I rented Shallow Hal.

rotfl

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
CDG says:
There you go again, making fun. I am not in the mood tonight ok but tomorrow night maybe I will show you something. you will just have to wait and see.
Am I the only one curious as to what she will show you tomorrow? I would be frightened.

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
***In following some of the advice posted here I sent this email that discussed my meeting with her "ghost" and traded some of my own words of insanity with her. Thus far I have received no reply***

Dear Crazy Deaf Girl,

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more." (Edgar Allen Poe – The Raven)

I quote the text above only because it is the first thing that entered my mind last evening just after the midnight clock chimed and I was visited by an apparition that I would know just as you predicted. This was not a vision of my old business partner one Mr. Marley as I might have suspected. You see, a long time ago, when we were children, in a galaxy far, far away –ho ho- I made the fatal error of stealing the Tauntaun form his Hoth Luke figure. Leaving the figure with no beast to brave the frigid temperatures of such a planet, Jacob was basically left with a useless toy and, thus, discarded it for the only other figure his poor family could afford, a Tusken Raider that was missing his head. He named it Chachie. Chachie was hardly a match for my Lando and Greedo Combo –chosen for the obvious rhyme scheme. But, I digress. When Billy McGruff, the neighborhood bully and town gossip, learned of my thievery he, like the snot nosed She-ra shirt wearing punk he was [yes he ACTUALLY wore his sister Kim’s She-ra shirt, Kowl and all], he reported his findings back to Jacob. Marley was infuriated and not only did he not invite me to his 10th Birthday Party, a milestone event in town because he swore to us all that Anthony Daniels AND his famous cousin Bob would be there in person, but he also swore that he would haunt me to his dying day. That day came the day after his 10th Birthday when he tried to transform into Grimlock and broke his own neck. I never got to reconcile, I never was able to return this Tauntaun that would plague my teen years so and, thus, I was cursed with Marley’s ghost to forever haunt me. Marley never came, however, and it was my obvious first choice of whom this specter might be in your email correspondence and our brief and alarming chat prior to the vision. Imagine my surprise when the being appeared before my horror filled eyes.

Hitler!!!

Why, oh why, have you sent to me this vile fiend, murderer of millions and the most evil creature (next to Satan and Richard Simmons) of our time? Of course I know this person, how could anyone not and I question your sanity and character to be fraternizing with the likes of this foul beast! It did not matter to me that you professed this ghost to be “good” by the fact that it wore “white and had a blue cross”. Did you also notice it had a swastika on its back and carried with it Mein Kampf? Did you not see this? How you could claim this spirit to be a goodly one is beyond me, missy.

“I have come to see your tattoo,” he said in a French accent but he wasn’t fooling me, baby! “You have the marking.” I stood tall and raised the only weapon that I had at my disposal. “I have no such tattoo, evil doer, and be gone!” I shouted waving my Twikoff in front of the being, daring him to strike. Knowing that all specters, evil or Casper like, fear Twikoff I was not surprised when the creature spit red lights in the shapes of watermelon seeds out of his mouth towards me. Twikof was quick to dismiss this puny effort and, with the power of all the beings lead by the Great Geoff, I stood tall and flung my large, throbbing Twikoff towards Hitler and, in a big flash of pink neon and disco lights, Hitler was banished from my dwelling.

I am not amused by your attempt to frighten me with such ghosts and I am a far more powerful being then you may know, Crazy Deaf Girl. You are not the only one of this realm with powers. You know now the power of my Twikoff. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ignite the wrath of my Minifigg!!!

As you have stated many times, I do not “GET” you. Well hear this and harken my word upon this day. Any more attempts on my life by sending Nazi dictators into my home where I sleep and watch Facts of Life reruns will be met with great vengeance and furious anger and you will get ME, my dear, when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Big Hugs,

View

absolutely brilliant!

Originally posted by ViewAskewbian
I think I'm going to have sex with her. She's crazy but she's cute. Ack, I'm torn between my enjoyment of sane women and my johnson!!