Buy:Tarantino
03-13-03, 12:03 AM
V.S. - A series of fights that the fans of movies would die to see.
FIGHTER PROFILES
Name - Leon
Occupation - Hitman
Trademarks - Carries around a plant, wears goofy suspenders
Appeared in - Leon the Professional (1994)
Name - Jason Bourne
Occupation - Questionable
Trademarks - Beating people up with ease, running away from people
Appeared in - The Bourne Identity (2002), The Bourne Identity (1988), some book…
The Setup
The United States , who failed in previous attempts to cease the existence of Jason Bourne, hire a hitman named Leon…previously thought dead. He agrees to take the mission covertly, but on one condition…no 12 year old girls, anywhere. They told him that Bourne and his girlfriend, Marie Kreutz would be eating at a New York hotel at 8:00pm. “I’ll take care of it”, said Leon - who proceeded to leave with a plant he brought with him. He’s weird.
The action
Jason and Marie arrived at the Hilton at 8:00pm, as scheduled. They were walked up to a balcony-side table, sat down, and ordered drinks. All of a sudden, Jason says,
“I can tell you the license numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you the waitress is left-handed. I can tell you the guy sitting at the bar weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself, I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and I know that at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half a mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?”
“Ugh”, Marie said, “why the heck do you always say that when we come to a restaurant? You know who you are, you’re that guy from Project Greenlight. They don‘t even have a bar up here, it‘s downstairs.”
“Oh yeah.”
But wait. Jason catches a glint of light from the corner of his eye. With cat-like reflexes, he turns the table over, reflecting a well placed bullet heading for his left temple. Marie was confused.
“Run Lola, run!”
Leon was confused with that remark, after all, her name was Marie, right? Oh well, time to start shooting again! Several more shots from the shaded pistol hit the table, but not Jason Bourne. He’s super!
Jason Bourne is a master of getaways, so he’s not too worried about this situation. “How can one guy with a pistol and weird suspenders beat me, master of beating people up?”, he thought. The balcony was clear, it was just Bourne and Leon. They fought for a while, trading punches, kicks, and ninja chops. It probably would have been fun to watch, considering watching people fight is fun. Frustrated and mad, because Bourne knocked his round glasses off, Leon rushes him…this is it, he thinks, as Bourne goes over the balcony.
“Help me!”, says Bourne. Leon, looking at him, says “you look like the janitor in Goodwill Hunting.” Bourne reaches up and grabs onto a plant, but it slips off and falls 4 stories down, shattering. Leon looks pissed. He reaches up and comes down hard on Bourne, who falls as well…he probably landed on the plant, but who cares. He’s dead.
Leon looks up at the sky and puts his glasses back on. That was the last thing he remembered, because a bullet zipped through his chest and he fell to the ground. He opened his eyes one last time and muttered…”Mathilda….”
Standing over him was a girl with red hair. Looking at him, she said, “you look like Victor. Victor Nettoyeur.” Sexy assassins are always my favorite kind of assassins.
Hmmm, that was strange. Oh well, no clear winner here. Until next time!
FIGHTER PROFILES
Name - Leon
Occupation - Hitman
Trademarks - Carries around a plant, wears goofy suspenders
Appeared in - Leon the Professional (1994)
Name - Jason Bourne
Occupation - Questionable
Trademarks - Beating people up with ease, running away from people
Appeared in - The Bourne Identity (2002), The Bourne Identity (1988), some book…
The Setup
The United States , who failed in previous attempts to cease the existence of Jason Bourne, hire a hitman named Leon…previously thought dead. He agrees to take the mission covertly, but on one condition…no 12 year old girls, anywhere. They told him that Bourne and his girlfriend, Marie Kreutz would be eating at a New York hotel at 8:00pm. “I’ll take care of it”, said Leon - who proceeded to leave with a plant he brought with him. He’s weird.
The action
Jason and Marie arrived at the Hilton at 8:00pm, as scheduled. They were walked up to a balcony-side table, sat down, and ordered drinks. All of a sudden, Jason says,
“I can tell you the license numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you the waitress is left-handed. I can tell you the guy sitting at the bar weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself, I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and I know that at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half a mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?”
“Ugh”, Marie said, “why the heck do you always say that when we come to a restaurant? You know who you are, you’re that guy from Project Greenlight. They don‘t even have a bar up here, it‘s downstairs.”
“Oh yeah.”
But wait. Jason catches a glint of light from the corner of his eye. With cat-like reflexes, he turns the table over, reflecting a well placed bullet heading for his left temple. Marie was confused.
“Run Lola, run!”
Leon was confused with that remark, after all, her name was Marie, right? Oh well, time to start shooting again! Several more shots from the shaded pistol hit the table, but not Jason Bourne. He’s super!
Jason Bourne is a master of getaways, so he’s not too worried about this situation. “How can one guy with a pistol and weird suspenders beat me, master of beating people up?”, he thought. The balcony was clear, it was just Bourne and Leon. They fought for a while, trading punches, kicks, and ninja chops. It probably would have been fun to watch, considering watching people fight is fun. Frustrated and mad, because Bourne knocked his round glasses off, Leon rushes him…this is it, he thinks, as Bourne goes over the balcony.
“Help me!”, says Bourne. Leon, looking at him, says “you look like the janitor in Goodwill Hunting.” Bourne reaches up and grabs onto a plant, but it slips off and falls 4 stories down, shattering. Leon looks pissed. He reaches up and comes down hard on Bourne, who falls as well…he probably landed on the plant, but who cares. He’s dead.
Leon looks up at the sky and puts his glasses back on. That was the last thing he remembered, because a bullet zipped through his chest and he fell to the ground. He opened his eyes one last time and muttered…”Mathilda….”
Standing over him was a girl with red hair. Looking at him, she said, “you look like Victor. Victor Nettoyeur.” Sexy assassins are always my favorite kind of assassins.
Hmmm, that was strange. Oh well, no clear winner here. Until next time!