I have a situation that I need to get opinions on.
I (25 in May) live at home with my parents. My younger brother (20 next July) also lives here. I finally got a career going (less than 2 months ago) and looking to buy a house towards the end of next year when my 1 year probation is up at work. Well, my parents (mainly my dad) is now saying I should pay rent to live with them. I wouldn't mind paying rent IF:

1) My younger brother has not had a job in months!! My mom gives him $$ for gas and pays his car insurance every month. ...a few months ago they made him get his own insurance because his driving record was messing up their insurance.

2) I have to share a room (12 X 10) with my brother (bunkbeds)

So, my question is: Is it fair that I pay rent just because I am making decent $$ now when my younger brother turns down jobs just because he doesn't want to do that kind of work? .....I do sometimes buy groceries and just clean up in general around the house.

Any thoughts on this?

PS <> I'm thinking about telling them (my dad) when mom stops giving Jason money and paying his insurance I'll be glad to pay each month.

BTW >> My parents make pretty good $$

You're almost 25. Lucky you didn't get thrown out 7 years ago. Depending on how much they want, I'd either pay it or move out. The rent would have to be pretty cheap for a 12x10.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
BTW >> My parents make pretty good $$
Sounds like it's a subtle way to make you move without kicking you out.

Is it fair? You're been freeloading, and you don't think it's fair that they're not going to let you continue freeloading?

Precisely because you've got a job, it makes sense for you to pull your share of the weight.

25 and you're still in a bunk bed :confused: Personally I would go out get an apartment and put off buying the house for a little while (unless you think you can get your parents to help you w/ the house loan).

You're 25. It is not unreasonable for your parents to demand some money. Cough it up.

There is a big difference btwn 20 & 25. Your parents being well-off is irrelavent.

If you're 25 and live at home, pay rent. Otherwise you're a mooch. Keeping in mind that you share a room w/bunkbeds when negotiating rent. Has Dad mentioned any specific amount?

Personally, I think it's fair. You're doing well and while you're there you can afford to help out financially. Don't get bogged down into everything about your brother, exact ages aside, keep in mind that he's 5 years younger than the age they're asking you to pay rent at. You can complain about it when he's 25 and still not paying rent.

If my kid was 25, had a good job, lived at home and refused to pay rent I'd evict his ass out onto the lawn. Either pay rent to your parents, or pay rent to a landlord.

Originally posted by renaldow

If my kid was 25, had a good job, lived at home and refused to pay rent I'd evict his ass out onto the lawn.


:thumbsup:

I would tell them that you are trying to save enough money for a down payment for a house. Make sure they understand that you would get an apartment, but you don't want to piss your money away paying a landlord and not getting anything for it. They will understand that you want to get a home that will gain equity.

Find out how much rent money they would want. I think given them some money is waranted. I'm sure 100 bucks a month would be a good start.

You should also kick your brothers ass. Tell him to get a JOB! Minimum wage is still Money. If anything he could start paying rent also.

Originally posted by nemein
25 and you're still in a bunk bed :confused: Personally I would go out get an apartment and put off buying the house for a little while (unless you think you can get your parents to help you w/ the house loan).

I know I will be able to get a brand new 3brd 2 bath house next year. I (yes by myself) was approved for one with my last job when I was 21 and married. Just backed out because I had a bad feeling about my now ex-wife.......

I don't want an apartment because you don't get anything out of it and for about the same price I can get a house ($750).

I'm thinking $100 a month at most to live here in this situation.
I do believe I should pay rent, BUT why me and not my brother who gets $$ thrown at him :confused:

It's going to be like this: I pay $100 and then mom pays $160 for his insurance and then gives him probably $10 a week for gas :mad:

It is your parents' home, they can do whatever they want wrt you, and whatever they want wrt your brother. It doesn't have to be fair, if you don't like it, you are free to move out.

If they are charging you less rent than you would pay if you were living on your own, be grateful that they are willing to help you out. If they are trying to charge you more rent than you would have to pay elsewhere, then go elsewhere and pay less than they want to charge you.

Take the reins, buckaroo! You've got a long ride ahead of you, might as well learn how to handle the horse! ;)

Time to pay up. Think of it as a warm up to making house payments.

Be a man. Pay some rent. Buy your own groceries. Thank your parents.
If your brother's a schlub there is no reason you need to be as well.
mini
PS: Let your parents tell you how much rent they want. If it is too much, tell them about your house idea. If they won't back down, move out and realize you will have to add a year or 2 to your house expectations.

Originally posted by alarican
I would tell them that you are trying to save enough money for a down payment for a house. Make sure they understand that you would get an apartment, but you don't want to piss your money away paying a landlord and not getting anything for it. They will understand that you want to get a home that will gain equity.



I tell them that often, "I am trying to save for when I move out next year". I guess it's one of those, believe it when I see it things. But, I am dead serious! I absolutely have started to HATE living here with all the BS!!

I may just do like my brother does:

Dad: Get out and find a job today!!

Jason: Ok.

-------------------------------------------------

Dad: Start paying some rent $$ or get out!!

Me: Ok. >>>and just leave it at that until he really starts talking $$

They're not being unfair, and you should deal with them in relation to your situation and not bring your brother into this. It sounds like you're in a position to be able to handle this, and your brother won't be when they do the same to him (and they will, eventually) if he doesn't get off his rear end.

Let your parents deal with your brother. You can afford it, pay them. (sorry)

step up man. don't compare yourself to your brother. if they want an unreasonable (in your opinion) amount for rent than go somewhere else. you are 25 and living at home...that's at least 5 years too long anyway. the free ride is over.

Daddy, why does Jason get to stay up until 11:00pm? It's not fair, i want to stay up until 11:00pm too.

Originally posted by vapoRware
Daddy, why does Jason get to stay up until 11:00pm? It's not fair, i want to stay up until 11:00pm too.

rotfl vaporWare isn't sympathetic in this case? Would would have thought. -rolleyes- rotfl

Originally posted by vapoRware
Daddy, why does Jason get to stay up until 11:00pm? It's not fair, i want to stay up until 11:00pm too.

It's not even like that!

"Daddy"?? .....can't remember the last time I called him that :rolleyes:


This is what I am going to tell them next time brought up:
Why don't I just pay Jason's car insurance?

Your brother is irrelevant. Don't bring him into it.

Pay rent.

Now, if there is a room you can use yourself, ask if you can pay rent and move into that room for yourself vs. sharing one.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
It's not even like that!

"Daddy"?? .....can't remember the last time I called him that :rolleyes:


This is what I am going to tell them next time brought up:
Why don't I just pay Jason's car insurance?

You are way too obsessed with your brother and fairness.

Drop him from the equation and then look at the situation.

He is not your concern, he is your parent's concern.

rotfl
rotfl
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Holy cow man. Step away from your mother's breast and get out of the house. YOU ARE 25 AND SHARING A ROOM WITH A BUNKBED!!!!

How much are they asking for?

Have you just recently moved back in with your parents?

I'd say they deserve to get some money for you living there, especially since you have a job now and can afford to give them some. Sounds like you spend a lot of money on your car(s) so they probably figure if you can spent it on cars you could give them some also. If you're old enough to have been married, have a kid, and a career job you can pay some rent IMO.

Originally posted by Seeker
Your brother is irrelevant. Don't bring him into it.

Pay rent.

Now, if there is a room you can use yourself, ask if you can pay rent and move into that room for yourself vs. sharing one.

I had a room here, but went to FL last year to try and get something going while living with my older brother and his family. Come back 9 months later because there are no decent jobs for me and my dad has moved into what was my room. Before that he was sleeping in my moms room in the walk in closet because he snores to loud for mom.

Kind of along the same lines - When I was 14 I got my first job and have been working ever since....when I got that job my parents stopped giving me allowance but of course I was expected to still do my portion of the chores. When I turned 16 I had to buy my own car and pay for the insurance. At age 18 I had to start paying rent to them until I moved out. (BTW - I think this is all fine, not bashing my parents at all)

However, my sister who is two years younger than I never got a job until she got married. While still living with the parents she was always given money to go out, was given a car and had her insurance paid for by them.

Definitely a double a standard. Oh yeah and I was paying rent to live in a non air conditioned garage (this was FL) while my sister was in a nice cush air-conditioned room.

Guess life is just not fair.

Go to a millitary recruiting office and fill out a form with your brothers info. Just put on it that you (he) is interested in speaking with someone. They will not stop calling him. Do this for each branch of service.

Then when he joins the Marine Corps, you can have your girlfriend sleep in the top bunk!

Originally posted by alarican
Go to a millitary recruiting office and fill out a form with your brothers info. Just put on it that you (he) is interested in speaking with someone. They will not stop calling him. Do this for each branch of service.

Then when he joins the Marine Corps, you can have your girlfriend sleep in the top bunk!

That's the worst thing: when my g/f comes over and he's here.
Pops told him to join the coast guard but he doesn't want to.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
That's the worst thing: when my g/f comes over and he's here.
Pops told him to join the coast guard but he doesn't want to.

DUDE


You are freakin' killing me

rotfl rotfl rotfl

This HAS GOT TO BE A JOKE!!!

How could you have a girlfriend when you sleep in a bunk bed??
:confused:

You must be amazingly hot or something!

rotfl rotfl rotfl


[high fives kvrdave]

Originally posted by LX98Civic
That's the worst thing: when my g/f comes over and he's here.


ok..but i get to be on top!!! :)

Do you fight over the top bunk? :lol:

Don't feel too bad, though... There was a family I knew that had a 25 year old on the bottom bunk, a 24 year old on the top bunk, and a 27 year old on the bed off to the side. All in a 12x15 room. On top of it all, the 25 year old had his girlfried stay overnight dozens of times.

We always wondered if they would ever reach 100 years worth of kids in the same room. They finally all moved out this year.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by suziq999
[B]How could you have a girlfriend when you sleep in a bunk bed??
:confused:

Tom Hanks pulled it off in BIG :D

Originally posted by alarican


Tom Hanks pulled it off in BIG :D

Yea, but he didn't get any. :p

So I take it your brother never passed his drug test? Seriously you need to kick his ass and then pay your parents some rent. That is great that you are trying to save for a house but I think if you would give your parent a little something for the effort it would go a long ways. Worry less about your brother and worry more about yourself.




I know this guy you should talk to his name is Ferrris.(see the movie if you have no clue)

If you have a job and still live with your parents, you should offer to pay rent.

You're 25 and you share a bunk bed with your brother at your parents' house? And you have a girlfriend?!

rotfl

Dude, get out of that house.

As for your brother getting to mooch without paying, did you get to at his age? If so, then you have no reason to complain.

bigger question
if you have a job why would you want to live at home?
my parents were cool and I never felt "oppressed" or anything, but I couldn't wait to move out when I moved to Buffalo for school

I'm 26 and I pay my dad $300/mo rent. My sister with her husband and 2 kids lives there too. They occupy 2 rooms and pay LESS than me.

Is it fair? I dunno. I don't care either. I'd have a hard time finding a room for $300/mo rent anywhere else. And I'll be out of there in less than 9 months anyway.

Even if it is a "good deal", I don't think I could stomach paying money to live in my own room back at home. It would just feel too weird having to pay my parents to live in the room I grew up in most of my life. But that's just me.

I think it's fair for parents to ask rent from their kids who have jobs.

If you've got enough money to buy a house, you've got enough money to pay rent.

Originally posted by tha_dvd_man
Even if it is a "good deal", I don't think I could stomach paying money to live in my own room back at home. It would just feel too weird having to pay my parents to live in the room I grew up in most of my life. But that's just me.

I guess it depends on what the alternatives are.

In LX's case, he wants to save money for a house. Paying $100/mo rent for the next year is certainly better than paying $500/mo rent if he's trying to save for a house.

In my case, $300/mo rent allows me to pay off some my credit card debt before I get married. Something that would be a lot harder to do if I were paying $500+/mo rent.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha
<img src=http://w3.gorge.net/kvrdave/jan.jpg>


rotfl rotfl rotfl

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Forgive me a cruel chuckle.

Originally posted by broadwayblue
ok..but i get to be on top!!! :)

GREAT quote! :up:

Originally posted by Duran
If you have a job and still live with your parents, you should offer to pay rent.

:up:

Add my voice to the chorus here!

As to the "buy a house" argument, if you think they are skeptical, see if you can work out a savings plan with them. You pay them "rent" that gets put away into a fund that they will only give you for a down payment? If that doesn't work, pay them a fair amount.

Oh yeah, leave your brother out of it!!! He is not your concern. What your parents do with him has no bearing on you.

Dude, you are 25!!!!! Grow up, turn those marbles into balls.

<---- lives at home, 22, great job, pays no rent

Parents told me not to bother and to save it for the down payment on a house next year.

Originally posted by Dee, tee ess... See?
<---- lives at home, 22, great job, pays no rent

Parents told me not to bother and to save it for the down payment on a house next year.

Mama's boy ;)

Originally posted by Dee, tee ess... See?
<---- lives at home, 22, great job, pays no rent

Parents told me not to bother and to save it for the down payment on a house next year. Does that mean you offered/asked?


If they had asked for rent, would you be here on DVDTalk complaining about it?

Take some of the umpteen mega-$$$ that you're blowing on "a cool ride" and get an apartment. Worry less about whether or not you can beat the "ricer" "revving up on you", and worry more about being a man. Time to prioritize, adult-style.

If your dad is that well off, then see if he is willing to help you out on the down payment so you can get out now. Or pay rent. Or get an apartment. Dude, suck it up and deal.

The real burning question I want answered is: Will LX98Civic ever show his face in this thread again! :lol:

Originally posted by LX98Civic
I had a room here, but went to FL last year to try and get something going while living with my older brother and his family. Come back 9 months later because there are no decent jobs for me and my dad has moved into what was my room. Before that he was sleeping in my moms room in the walk in closet because he snores to loud for mom.

Dude, tell your Dad to get his loud snoring @$$ back into your Mom's room. Tell your Mom to get some earplugs. Tell your good for nothin' brother to move into the walk in closet in your Mom's room. Then you can move back into what was your room, allowing you to rent out the bunk beds to Ralph and Potsie, and you can rent the room over the garage to Fonzie! Think of how nuch sooner you'll have money to buy your own house, and then when your parents are broke from all the freeloaders, you can let them move into your basement and charge them rent!

PS -- Your brother's wife kicked you out, didn't she?

Originally posted by LurkerDan
Does that mean you offered/asked?


If they had asked for rent, would you be here on DVDTalk complaining about it?

Never offered/asked. They told me that they wouldn't collect rent from me as long as I was saving for a house. Besides, my parents are two of my best friends and my payment to them is my presence in the house. ;)

But no, I wouldn't be stupid enough to complain at all, let alone on here, about it. :)

You should have moved out a long time ago.

Originally posted by suziq999
How could you have a girlfriend when you sleep in a bunk bed??
:confused:

You must be amazingly hot or something!

rotfl rotfl rotfl


[high fives kvrdave]

I guess so :cool:

Yeah, I bang her on my top bunk but usually just hit the floor since the bunk starts to sway and squeek.

Oh, and this is NO JOKE!!!

She knows I am buying a house next year and she'll be living there as well paying for the smaller utilities while attending school. I could buy the house now but, 1) she's away in college until April 2) My probation is not up at the job 3) I am getting a h/b Hybrid (probably going to keep the LX until I buy the house) :p 4) also saving, saving, saving......

I bet if you quit pumping so much cash into your car you could be living in your house right now.

Originally posted by Dee, tee ess... See?
I bet if you quit pumping so much cash into your car you could be living in your house right now.

Word

Nothing says romance like "Lets bang on the floor baby, this bunkbed be squeakin and drivin' me nuts!"

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THIS IS KILLING ME

Try living in NYC, I pay $2240 a month for a 1 bedroom for my fiance and myself. I too am trying to save for a house but so far it has been a losing battle with buying her engagement ring and all (plus the trip to Hawaii). By the way I'm 23 and have about $60,000 in school loans I need to pay off so you will get absolutely no sympathy for me.

Dude, just pay the rent. Geez, when I was 18 I was paying $300 rent already. Forget that B12 or B13 or whatever engine you wanted.

Originally posted by minifigg

:lol::up:

If anything, this thread should help Thunderball get some self esteem back! Hey T-Ball, you've got it all over this guy!

Back on topic,
LX98Civic I deleted some of my posts. I hope the kidding did not make you feel worse.
I am sorry.
But look, if we are saying it, your parents MUST be thinking it: Lose the dreams of the car and move out. It does not make you look serious about buying a house and getting a life if you are willing to blow xthousand on a car to prove your sig:
"For all the Ricers in Savannah, Ga and surrounding areas.....
--You will no longer **** with my ride. The slow LX is getting the boot and a 5th gen. h/b Hybrid is coming. Rev all you want, but those Pep Boy mods aren't going to save your ***!!!
So, that's my .04
mini

You can compromise you know. Instead of having that big phat ride, you should get a little phat ride. Start pimpin' out a barbie ferrari or something.

Originally posted by renaldow
If anything, this thread should help Thunderball get some self esteem back! Hey T-Ball, you've got it all over this guy!

T-Ball should be proud.

I hear at 30 your parents give up. You only got 5 years left.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Repeat after me:
House > Car! House > Car! If you have the money, MOVE already!

Your whole situation is hurting my head. No offense, man, but I'm 21 and I feel older than you. My parents could not have KEPT me in the house after high school. I moved out immediately after turning 18 to go to college. Some things are more important than a new car. Your parents are way too lenient.

Dude, you are 25 years old.

25.

And you are more concerned about your brother getting gas money then the fact that you live at home sharing a bunkbed with your 20 year old brother. And you are 25.

Please man. Just pay the rent or move out. :lol:

Even if you are looking for "fairness" consider this - you are 25, your brother is 20. If he's asked for rent before he's 25, then you're the one who's got the advantage.

(Besides, your parents might like him better :p)*

It's your parent's house and really what they or your brother earns (or doesn't in his case) is irrelevant. You're earning money, so they're simply expecting you to contribute to the household expenses like they need to.

Regardless of what you're saving for (house/car/stereo/etc), your freeloading off them (which it is) means that they have less money to save for what they would like (holiday, new car, etc). Perhaps they think that they've given you a pretty good deal and expect you to contribute to the relationship a little.

As for your brother, when he starts earning money, or see that you're doing well on your own, then it's likely that they'll start doing the same things...

*Just joking man.

btw How many seconds did you save by typing a 4 instead of "for"? Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.

Originally posted by neiname
Try living in NYC, I pay $2240 a month for a 1 bedroom for my fiance and myself.

Holy hell!! and here I thought living in So Cal was damn expensive!! -eek-

It also looks like some of you other people in this thread need to grow the hell up as well. Calling someone else a loser, oohh your soo cool. I guess the personal attacks rule dont apply to some of the "in people" here at good ol dvdtalk -rolleyes-

I'm also 25 and living at home. Your parents were already being pretty generous not charging you for so long. I'm surprised they didn't demand rent sooner... my parents started charging me as soon as I finished college. I'd love to be out of the house right now, but after graduating college a couple years ago, I had trouble finding a good entry-level type job in the area I studied, so now I'm saving again to go back to school (this time in a field with a lot of demand, radiology tech)... I'm paying $150 a month rent, which is very cheap. My parents are probably being way to nice, but so be it.

MJKTool: Ditto your comments about the people calling Civic a loser. I dont know what exactly his situation was before, but I know at least for me, I have had trouble getting a career type job and couldnt afford to live in an apartment while also paying for my student loans, car loans, insurance, etc.

Brian

Originally posted by neiname
Try living in NYC, I pay $2240 a month for a 1 bedroom for my fiance and myself. I too am trying to save for a house but so far it has been a losing battle with buying her engagement ring and all (plus the trip to Hawaii). By the way I'm 23 and have about $60,000 in school loans I need to pay off so you will get absolutely no sympathy for me.

I pay $385 a month (my half of $770) and I live in a 1 br in Manhattan also. :p

This is in reply to those who think it's uncool to live at home in mid-late 20's.

I lived at home until 21 while getting my BA (no rent), then rented a room in a house when I went to another city for my graduate degree, and at 23 I moved to Las Vegas to live with sis and pay rent. Then my mom moved out here and I moved in with her (too many kids at my sis's house). I'm 24 and I pay her rent.

My point: If I lived in an apartment I would be giving money each month to a stranger. This way, it goes back into the family. I plan to move out when I buy a house (which I expect to be in 5 years since my credit sucks and I owe about 18k in stupid credit card mistakes) or when I get married (and move in with husband or we buy a house together). When I look back I'll appreciate the extra time with mom during my 20's.



Civic: You didn't pay rent at 20. Or 21. Or 22. Or 23. Or 24. It's time to pay up.

Dude, pay the rent. I understand your situation, but just pay it. I lived at home until I was 19, and I even paid some rent and helped out with groceries then. My brother still lives at home at 22 and pretty much pays all my mom's bills so she will have her extra money. My Mom (and I am sure your parents too) worked their asses off to provide for you for 18+ years, it's not too much to ask for some of that back.

When I stayed at my parents' house for the summer when I was 18, I paid $300 rent for threee months, but that included food, electricity, bed, water, gas, oh and laundry, not a bad deal if you ask me :)

But I was working then and making really good money but last summer they didn't want my money since they're bored since my mooch (sp?) sister moved out. :D

Originally posted by GatorDeb



Civic: You didn't pay rent at 20. Or 21. Or 22. Or 23. Or 24. It's time to pay up.

ditto. my parents never asked me to pay rent when i was in school, but now that i have a job, they're asking me to. seems perfectly fair to me. i understand that your younger brother isn't paying rent, but that's because he doesn't have a job (even though it's because he rejected offers). if you quit your job, your parents would probably understand and not make you pay.

Well, you've mooched off the parents long enough. Pay them rent.

As for your concerns around your brother, you're really showing your immaturity by bringing up him up. Really, what does he have to do with the situation? Would you feel better if he paid $500 in rent? Why?

As for the house, I suggest you rent first for a little while. You're going to get your a$$ kicked when you suddenly realize that you can't spend all your money on video games.

Seriously, I understand the not wanting an apartment thing, but you know, the more I think about it, the more I Like having an apartment(albeit a currently very small one).

I was paying rent $60 a week plus my own food since I turned 18 when I lived at home. Yeah it's not a whole lot, and yeah I'd eat their food sometimes, but still.

You should either MOVE OUT, or you should PAY UP.

Well, my current situation is that I am pondering moving back home for a year beforing maybe moving to another province to try to build a career because it is far to costly to live where I am. Working two and a half jobs to pay my rent doesn't really leave me much time to find work in what I really want to do.

At any rate, regrouping for a year before moving out to a smaller city eastward to continue the career, I have been debating moving back in with the parents to save money and start paying off my student loans.

I have been on my own since 17 so this is a tough step backwards yet sometimes, I believe, one needs to retrace ones steps to move forwards.

I plan to get a job back home for the year I am there and I shall offer to pay rent for living there (a small amount minus bills should allow me to save some).

I think it is fair for them to ask you for rent if you are not distitute. At any rate, it should be time to try and go it on your own. Just my two.

Originally posted by minifigg
Back on topic,
LX98Civic I deleted some of my posts. ...

mini

-eek-

Is no one else concerned by this horrible turn of events. People seem to be ignoring that someone in Other has been deleting posts :(


The next thing you will tell me is that i can't post a roll call thread :(

the fun has left the forum ;)


By the way pay the rent :D

I guess I also found another reason to post in the loser thread. Someone who shares a room and sleeps in a bunkbed is having sex on a regular basis while I am quadsucking my way to satisfaction :(

Originally posted by D.Phenobarbital


Phenobarbital :lol:

Originally posted by gcribbs
while I am quadsucking my way to satisfaction :(

I don't even want to know what it means for a guy to quadsuck his way to satisfaction...

Originally posted by GatorDeb
I don't even want to know what it means for a guy to quadsuck his way to satisfaction...

it's not as bad as you think :)

Originally posted by skar
I pay $385 a month (my half of $770) and I live in a 1 br in Manhattan also. :p

Where is that, 125th Street?

Originally posted by zuffy
it's not as bad as you think :)

I thought mysterX disbanded the Other Male Orgy? If gcribbs is quad-sucking again I might have to jump back into the fray.

Originally posted by neiname
Try living in NYC, I pay $2240 a month for a 1 bedroom for my fiance and myself. I too am trying to save for a house but so far it has been a losing battle with buying her engagement ring and all (plus the trip to Hawaii). By the way I'm 23 and have about $60,000 in school loans I need to pay off so you will get absolutely no sympathy for me.
Thats what I'm saying-$1000/month before any bills. My girlfriend
doesn't pay much because she is in school and can't work more
hours a week than she does already. She takes care of some
bills, I take care of the rest. And we are still 100 miles outside of
NYC. You get stuck in one of those artsy towns and you pay
outragous amounts...and In two years we move to NYC. When I
moved out of my mom's house, my room was taken over within a
month. Even if I wanted to move back in, I wouldn't have the
option.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
I don't want an apartment because you don't get anything out of it and for about the same price I can get a house ($750).
"You don't get anything out of it"?...You get a place to live!

Welcome to reality. Do you think the rest of the people in the
world paying rent wouldn't rather be putting the money towards
a house to own? Thats the way things are when you don't live
with mommy and daddy. I'd love to tell my landlord I am not
going to pay my rent, depite having money to do so, because I
want to save up and buy a house.:lol:

If you can't afford to buy a house for another year or two because
you have to pay rent, thats what you end up doing.

I had to pay for most of my stuff by the time I was 17 and I had to pay for my own groceries at 15/16 because my mom was a selfish pig who squandered the child support money on her clothes habit (all of which ended up brand new in a brown hefty garbage bag in a closet in the guest bedroom), the rich-ass bi***. Then, I got thrown out like a piece of garbage with no money. At the time I had a job and I was going to school full time. I managed to get an apartment and at 25, I was able to buy my first house. My parents were 'well-off' too at the time.

Hell, my father recently passed away leaving me and my sister a fortune worth exactly $56,000. My mother sued the estate for $50,000 and my aunt sued the estate for $50,000 as well on behalf of my grandmother. My mother is a friggin millionaire and my grandmother is 93 years old and the $50,000 was my father's share of his inheritance which he borrowed so he could support himself during his dying days and the money was supposed to pass on to me and my sister after he passed away (when grandma died of course). Argh... anyway...

Yeah - you're 25 and you live at home, then you're a sponge/mooch/whatever you wanna call it. Use em as long as you can tolerate it and save up. If they ask for rent money and they don't need it from you, then it's a sign they want you to move out or else they're probably planning to put that money into an account so you can have it as a down payment when you finally buy a house (that's if they love you, which they probably do <small>you bastard</small>). If it were me, I'd move the hell out and get an apartment or move in with a buddy or something and pay rent at some place where I didn't have to live with the shame of sleeping in a friggin bunk bed with my little brother. I mean honestly - how did you get a girl to even come to your parents house? Rohipnol? No offense to you, it just seems like a funny situation. Most women wouldn't date a guy who's 25 and living at home let alone sharing a bunk bed with his brother.

I'd also place less importance on the car - I mean, you already have a chick... and if she's willing to put up with the bunk bed thing, she's a keeper. You don't need the manhood extender as much as you need the dignity of being independent.

Originally posted by Numanoid
Take some of the umpteen mega-$$$ that you're blowing on "a cool ride" and get an apartment. Worry less about whether or not you can beat the "ricer" "revving up on you", and worry more about being a man. Time to prioritize, adult-style.

I just wanted to agree completely with this post.
You're 25 man, good lord...

Originally posted by neiname
Try living in NYC, I pay $2240 a month for a 1 bedroom for my fiance and myself.Just so you know:

Fiancee = chick
Fiance = dude

Is there something you want to tell us?

I agree with Seeker... your brother's situation doesn't matter. Hell, I was paying rent at 17; it teaches you financial responsibility, and I'm very glad my Dad asked.

No, I'm going to shut up now... (if you can't say something nice, say...)


;)

Pay the rent. I bet your getting free food/gas(House)/electricity/and water with that. $100-200 and your still coming way ahead. Good luck on the House hunting.

-Lucky

http://www.nyx.net/~dnadams/gifs/chris.jpg

After giving it thought I decided I will pay them $100 a month.
They do a lot for me and have done a lot throughout my school years. My dad has gotten both of us out of trouble several times.

I recently sold all 246 of my dvds to pay off my credit card debt to show my parents I am serious about saving for a house next year.

My parents know the love me and my brother have for import cars. They don't see why I need another car, but I just want and will get one. But, I guess to keep them from bitchin' when I get the h/b, I'll start paying the rent $$.

For the person who said get an apartment first and was saying, "What do you mean you get nothing out of an apartment..you get a place to stay"

I would rather stay here in these conditions and pay a 7th of what it would costt in an apartment and like one other person said, "at least the $$ I give up / lose is going back into the family and not some landlord". Besides what if I move into an apartment and then lose my job. Highly unlikely but anything is possible. My credit would probably get ruined and I would be back at home again. I'd rather play it safe and make sure I make it through the 365 day probation, which means more $$$ saved for things to go into my house.

Besides if I moved out now, I could kiss my Hybrid goodbye :D

zuffy: Dude, just pay the rent. Geez, when I was 18 I was paying $300 rent already. Forget that B12 or B13 or whatever engine you wanted.

It's a B18C1 and dude no (as to not get the motor)!

You have absolutely no reason to be complaining - you have it sweet, and don't seem to realize it, even given your last message.

Civic:

Why do you need a house? It'll just be you and your girlfriend, right? Ever thought about getting a condo? They're cheaper and you might be able to afford moving out of your parents house sooner and starting earning equity there.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
They don't see why I need another car, but I just want and will get one. But, I guess to keep them from bitchin' when I get the h/b, I'll start paying the rent $$.

When you grow up you'll realize that there are priorities in life. Having dignity by being self-sufficient should be higher on the list than buying a new car.

If your current car is falling apart or you're selling it to make smaller payments, thats one thing, but it doesn't sound like you're doing that.

Originally posted by matta
Civic:

Why do you need a house? It'll just be you and your girlfriend, right? Ever thought about getting a condo? They're cheaper and you might be able to afford moving out of your parents house sooner and starting earning equity there.

I just want to get a NEW house close to my job in this smaller community. The typical 3bdrm 2 bath 2 garage house w/ a small yard is all I want.

Actually, I have a 5 year old daughter that will have a room at my house as well. I don't know how often she'll stay over, but I know she'll have her own room for when she does.

Seeker: I hardly call it sweet when you are sharing a bunk with a brother which is practically a grown man (or suppose to be).

Yes, the $100 a month is a killer deal considering I am fed nightly and they even bring stuff home just for us (Chic-fil-a, KFC, Taco Bell, etc....) :p I just am not happy with the 2 in one bedroom deal. But, it's kind of good since it really has made me want to move out. Before I was like whenever I am ready I'll go, but that time has come.....

Dude, I'm sympathetic, because I had to move home for six months when I was 25. My parents didn't make me pay rent, which was nice, because I couldn't have afforded it anyway.

However, I wasn't blowing and going with my money either. I had taken a career change, and had to take quite a pay cut. Moving home was the only way I could make things work. With few exceptions, all my money went to bills that I had before I moved in. As soon as I had the experience to get a better job, I moved. My parents were cool and all, but living at home just blows.

Even though you've agreed to pay rent, it still seems like a 'I don't see why I should have to, but I guess I'll do it so they'll shut up."

Now, saving for a home is noble and commendable. However, look at this from your parent's point of view. You moved back in at a time when you really shouldn't be moving back in with mom and dad. Because they love you, and you needed the help, they let you move back in. They didn't make it comfortable, probably because they didn't want you to stay too long. Now, you've found your job/career and supposedly you don't want to pay rent because you're saving for a house -- which I'm sure your parents would be more than happy to help out with. However, at the same time, you're talking about buying another car and the modifications you're going to do to your car....

I know exactly what your parents are thinking. You've got several grand to throw away on a depreciating asset that you don't even need, and yet you won't spare $100 a month to help your parents out, though they probably spend at least $100 a month supporting your lazy ass.

Now, I don't expect you to understand this now, but I think in a few years you will. Whether you realize it or not, you're adding to their electric bills, their water bills, their gas bills, and probably their grocery bills. I know my mother's grocery bill dropped at least $100 when I left. From my own utility bills, I imagine her utility bills dropped about $100 as well.

It's not unreasonable to pay them some money, even if it is for half a bedroom.

I have a friend who's 30 years old. He rents an apartment but his parents give him money every month to cover his rent. Recently he's been looking at the new Nissan Pathfinder. His parents will pay for it. Keep in mind, he is not jobless. According to him, he makes a decent living and tends to flash money around. Conversations with him always end up being about how his older brother doesn't do enough for the family and how effed up the world is. People now talk behind his back and feel sorry for him. He's not well liked but I've maintained the friendship because I remember how he was way back in high school and perhaps someday he'll realize what he's doing.

Civic- You seem to love your parents dearly and seem to appreciate all that your parents have done for you. It's your life and you're old enough to understand what should and should not be done. Just don't turn into a mirror image of what my friend has turned into. It's good that you've decided to pay rent, first step towards independence. Consider paying more rent if you can. Growing up = independence. Just remember financial independence is one of them.

I guess I am still wondering if you are really 25 or you just tell us you are. You still sound 16 to me.

I don't mean to sound so harsh, but a 25 year old with an obsession for some car that he must own while still living at home is pretty pathetic. Damn man, you are not much younger than I am and you have a job that pulls down good coin.

To each their own, which is fortunate because "your own" is not something I could live with.

Hey, did you get grounded for putting your headlights in the oven?

http://www.geocities.com/lx98civic/Clearing_Headlights.html

Originally posted by kvrdave
I guess I am still wondering if you are really 25 or you just tell us you are. You still sound 16 to me.


Hmm. Interesting. A 25 year old living at home, I think we all agree, should pay rent if he can. But, a 16 living at home with a job... should he pay rent?

I don't think so, but I'm willing to bet some will disagree.

Originally posted by matta
Hmm. Interesting. A 25 year old living at home, I think we all agree, should pay rent if he can. But, a 16 living at home with a job... should he pay rent?

I don't think so, but I'm willing to bet some will disagree.

I was refering more to the car obsession rather than taking care of himself and living independantly, not the rent issue.

EinTier why exactly is it bad to live at home in your 20's?

What's this whole American culture that living at home is bad?

I get company, mom gets company, and $500 a month gets me food and a house with all related bills paid. How would it be better to give that money to a stranger to pay THEIR bills?

Originally posted by kvrdave
I was refering more to the car obsession rather than taking care of himself and living independantly, not the rent issue.

A car obsession isn't bad, but it doesn't make a lot of fiscal sense, especially when you can't "afford" to pay rent to your parents for living in their house.

I have a car obsession, and I can think of about $10,000 in performance modifications I'd love to do to my current car. I don't, though, because of several reasons.

The biggest one though, is my house. LX98Civic is about to realize how expensive owning a house is. It might cost the same as an apartment on paper ($750/month), but all the incidentals are much higher, and there's a lot more of them.

Buy the car if you really want it, but if you're going to buy a second car to play around with and spend more money tricking it out, then don't bitch because your parents want you to pull your weight.

Have you considered the possibility that your parents just don't like you and your brother is their favorite child?

Just kidding, I'm sure they love you and all, the reason you are being asked to pay rent is because you are older. When your brother gets to 24 or so, I am sure that they will ask him to pay rent.

Pay rent, and be sure to save money for a down payment on your new house...

By the way, what happens when you meet a girl and want to take her home for a nightcap or whatever?

Don't think you've answered this but have you always lived with your parents (other than the year or whatever you lived with your sister)? Have you lived away from home at college dorm or apartment before? You said you've been married before and have a kid so I assumed you had but sorta sounds like you haven't

Originally posted by Heat


By the way, what happens when you meet a girl and want to take her home for a nightcap or whatever?

We've already gone over this

Originally posted by LX98Civic


Yeah, I bang her on my top bunk but usually just hit the floor since the bunk starts to sway and squeek.

Oh, and this is NO JOKE!!!

Wait, you have a 5 year old??!?!? Do you pay child support???

Originally posted by GatorDeb
EinTier why exactly is it bad to live at home in your 20's?

What's this whole American culture that living at home is bad?

I get company, mom gets company, and $500 a month gets me food and a house with all related bills paid. How would it be better to give that money to a stranger to pay THEIR bills?

I'm not EinTier, but in my opinion, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. In your situation, you're paying a decent amount to your mother. If a parent (or parents) is alone and you're alone, then maybe it makes sense for you guys to essentially become roommates.

But in Civic's case, it seems like his parents don't want him there and he's mooching off of them. Even if he pays $100/month, that's still mooching because that doesn't even come close to paying for utilities / food / room. Moving out with most likely teach him responsibility and maturity.

Either way, I would think it would be weird if you brought a guy home.

Originally posted by einTier
A car obsession isn't bad, but it doesn't make a lot of fiscal sense, especially when you can't "afford" to pay rent to your parents for living in their house.

I have a car obsession, and I can think of about $10,000 in performance modifications I'd love to do to my current car. I don't, though, because of several reasons.


No hobby is bad if you can afford it, but if the way to afford it is to live at home and not pay rent...then it is no longer a hobby, it is an obsession. I think you and I are using the term differently.

Gator, it sounds like your situation is much, much different. You didn't move back in with your parents out of a need. You aren't sharing a room and a bunkbed with another adult. You are splitting costs. Very different. You have a roommate who happens to be your mother.

Grow up. Forget about the cars and your "I'm-going-to-kick-this-guy's-ass-once-this-light-turns-green" lifestyle.

Adulthood is knocking on the door and you refuse to answer it.

You're not fooling anybody. You're not truly committed to buying a house. When you're fully committed to something, you eliminate all non-essential fiscal responsibilities. A car and it's modifications are definitely non-essential.

You're more committed to your car than anything.

I'm really curious about the child issue as well...

I'm really holding out on negative comments, but it's becoming more and more difficult here.

A couple of things here...

1) - Guys, lets knock off the "loser" stuff. Disagree with his opinion all you want, but, even if you're joking, you aren't helping the situation any with comments like these.


2) - LX98Civic feels that his parents aren't treating him fairly. IMO, it's quite possible that they aren't... and, I see nothing wrong with him feeling offended if they are treating his brother in an inequitable manner. That said, life isn't fair... so go ahead and deal with it.

I have a 35 year old sister who lives with our parents... she doesn't pay rent, she doesn't buy food, she doesn't help out around the house, and she expects my mother to buy her most any thing she wants. Do I receive equitable treatment? No. Is this fair to me? No, it isn't... it isn't fair to them either. Does it bother me? Sometimes it does... sometimes for me, sometimes for them. In the end though, I have to remember that I'm the one who is really better off and if they are getting screwed it is because they allow it to happen. By getting out on my own and becoming and independent adult, I'm the one who is better off. And, LX98Civic, once you get out and leave your parents and brother behind, you'll be better off too. Maybe not at first, but you will be in the long run.

Originally posted by Zodo
I'm really curious about the child issue as well...

I'm really holding out on negative comments.....


Thanks. Let's keep this about the situation and not about the person.

I moved out when I was 15, so from my point of view, I can't understand staying in the parent's home that long. I was a car nut (still am) and I sold my Pontiac GTO muscle car and got a POS 70hp 1969 Toyota to save money. Eventually, I traded up to a POS Plymouth Fury that cost me $300. But it was paid for and it ran. And I lived on my own.

Why the drive to live on one's own? Not sure. It seems though that a lot of your growing up is learning to be an adult. Learning to be self sufficient. To create your own family and life. We all have our own timelines. I was wanting to leave at like age 12. :)

For me, there was a lot of satisfaction in making my own place. Even if my furniture was mostly plank and cinderblock and a Thunderball couch, it was MINE and I was responsible.

If I did move back, I would pay rent. And $100 month is not enough.

Originally posted by Dead
1) - Guys, lets knock off the "loser" stuff. Disagree with his opinion all you want, but, even if you're joking, you aren't helping the situation any with comments like these.



And just who could you be refering too? -confused-


Okay. Noted. Just seems like covert Shaggy thread.

I take sympothy with wanted to be treated equally with your brother.

But at the same time, glad you realize you should be paying rent, and it's your parent's house, so your PARENTS RULES!!!

I lived with my mom untill 22, but had to pay rent a little starting at 19. But my sister is 29 and still lives with my father, RENT FREE.
She actually basically gets paid to stay there. He signs his checks over to her, and she pays the bills with them, and gives him an allowance (basically, he just doesn't want to be bothered with bills and such, so she takes care of it, and he just takes money out of the atm or asks her for it when he wants some, he takes MANY vacations each year).
Now she makes about $8k more than me a year, but has NO BILLS compared to my mortgage/utilities/car etc.

And my wife went through in my opinion worse "equal treatment".
As you see yourself, she got penalized "for being good".
Long story, but she managed her bills, gave money to her parents while working in High School (to go to her college), chose a state school (cheaper than private, and the deal was supposedly for her sister and her, that they pay for 1/4, or 1 year equivalent of school cost, but money she put in during her summer jobs and high school would reduce that amount owed).
She didn't buy anything she couldn't afford (never kept a credit card balance).

However in the end she is paying a school loan HIGHER than her sister (even though her sister went to a school that cost TWICE as much!). And her sister racked up credit card debt and her parents paid it off for her. Now one of her grandparent's recently died, yup, you guessed it her sister is going to live there RENT FREE with a friend!
Now, we live in her other grandparent's old house, BUT, we bought it at MARKET VALUE from her parents because "it wouldn't be fair to the two sisters if we got a 'deal'".

Now my wife and her sister make the same money each year approx $35k. But somehow her sister "can't afford rent".
But can afford trips, bar bills, weekend in NYC, etc!
And I summed it up by her parents feeling more "needed" by bailing her out over and over again.

But with my wife, because she handles her bills appropriately, doesn't "need" them the same way.
But does feel that it's unfair treatment seeing money thrown at her sister that is making just as much as she is.

But in the end, we found that you can't compare. You have to be appreciative of what they have done for YOU (not your brother/sister). They've helped us in our home rennovations tremendously, we go out to eat with them every week, etc.
Yes the college thing wasn't equal, but in the end, she has a much greater sense of money management, and in the end will be better off.

Originally posted by Heat
By the way, what happens when you meet a girl and want to
take her home for a nightcap or whatever?

Presumably they go to her place.

Originally posted by icondude
Presumably they go to her place.

Nope. Earlier in the thread he said they just go at it on the bunk bed, but it starts to sway, etc. so they move to the floor. Then I think he added....

"I AM SERIOUS" or something similar. Read through and you will see.

I moved out of my parents house when I was seven and lived in a pond until I'd saved up enough mud for my own cardboard box. After a few years there I'd saved up enough bottle caps for cardboard box that hadn't been pre-crushed...

LXCivic98K&Nh/b - you are 25 and you're bitching about being asked to pay $3/day for where you live?!! If I was your parents (gareth counts blessings) I'd put you in a tent in the yard until you paid me back rent for the period between when you left school and today.

Rent a place and work your way towards something better. I moved out when i was 16. I bought a POS Plymouth Fury with jumper wires run from under the hood, into the cab, hanging from my visor so i could start it.

My first place was decent but i didn't have the money for furniture. So i went to Wal-Mart and bought two lawn chairs for living room furniture and had the cardboard box my TV came in for a coffee table. For a bed i had one piece of a sectional that someone was throwing away. For dishes i had two plates, one frying pan, and one pot along with a few eating utensils.

Sure it was spartan to say the least but it was my place, and eventually i was able to buy everything i needed.

Originally posted by GatorDeb
EinTier why exactly is it bad to live at home in your 20's?

What's this whole American culture that living at home is bad?

I get company, mom gets company, and $500 a month gets me food and a house with all related bills paid. How would it be better to give that money to a stranger to pay THEIR bills?

Honestly, I have to look at it from a case to case basis, but as a general rule, I have to believe it isn't healthy.

Regardless of circumstance, it is simply normal for your parents to behave like parents, and for you to behave like a child. Part of growing up is learning to do things for yourself, and learning where your limits are, and what you're capable of, and exactly who you are. You don't find these things out by living at home with mom and dad until you're ready to start a family, or God forbid, after you've started a family.

I just think that people need to go find themselves, and I often wonder when these "live-at-home-adult-kids" ever become peers of their parents instead of just children. At some point, you have to be responsible for your decisions, and you have to stop expecting Mom and Dad to help out with everything. Right now, my parents are getting ready to retire, and some of them already have. Considering that they no longer have a net positive cash flow, it's just not right for me to go and ask for money anymore. I'm old enough, and established enough that I should be able to solve most of my own problems. That doesn't mean I don't occaisionally ask for help or advice, but it's the kind of help and advice I might ask of a good friend -- I don't do it often, and if it involves money, I make sure it's paid back with intrest.

Your situation seems to be a bit different, where you are both helping each other out, and I don't so much have a problem with that, or for instance, my grandmother moving in with my parents because she's not able to take care of a home anymore. Even if my parents had moved into her house (which they didn't), I think that all of these are special circumstances that don't apply to the above. However, I must admit that if you've never lived on your own, I believe that you are missing out on some serious character building.

When I moved back in, it was extremely painful for me. Certainly, there was a sense of failure, but more than that, I simply couldn't live the way I'd lived for the past six or so years. I couldn't go out, and at midnight decide I wasn't coming home, or that I'd roll in at six in the morning. I couldn't have girls sleep over anymore. My parents had a hard time being peers and not parents. Then again, I put up with it because they were putting a roof over my head, and they were by no means obligated to do so.

I think the main thing to think about LX98Civic is to decide what you really want first in YOUR life. Forget your bro and your parents for a minute. If you are having finanical difficulties balancing car parts/accesories, saving for a house, renting an apartment, etc., you need to decide which is most important to you.

Personally, it doesn't sound like your happy at home(whether you have to pay rent or not is not as important). The important thing is to be HAPPY. Period. I could not imagine dreading coming home after work. Home is supposed to be your place of relaxation and the place to call your own. If you can't afford a mortage right now and the additional bills that will accompany a house, definitly look into renting an apartment. Try to find one that is only a month by month lease. They're hard to find, but well worth it in the long run, trust me. Also see if a friend is in the same spot as you are or one that needs a roomate in the near future. You could also ask co-workers too.

But if upgrading your car will make you more happy than having your own place, do that. To each his/her own. You earn your money(unlike your bro), so spend it how you want to spend it. Good luck with everything.

Originally posted by GatorDeb
EinTier why exactly is it bad to live at home in your 20's?

What's this whole American culture that living at home is bad?

I get company, mom gets company, and $500 a month gets me food and a house with all related bills paid. How would it be better to give that money to a stranger to pay THEIR bills?
GatorDeb --

There is a difference between living with your Mom, as a choice because you like it, and sharing the expenses (which I don't think anyone here would find objectionable), and moving back to your parents house, despite NOT liking it, because you are saving money to buy a house and putting money into non-essential features of a car, and then griping because your parents suggest that you should be paying them some sort of rent.

From your description of your living situation, I don't consider that "living at home," but rather sharing a place with your Mom.

Originally posted by kvrdave
I guess I am still wondering if you are really 25 or you just tell us you are. You still sound 16 to me.

I don't mean to sound so harsh, but a 25 year old with an obsession for some car that he must own while still living at home is pretty pathetic. Damn man, you are not much younger than I am and you have a job that pulls down good coin.

To each their own, which is fortunate because "your own" is not something I could live with.

Wow, kvr and I in agreement... weird.

I'm 25 years old. I'm more mature and have it together better than a lot of people I know my age. But, I also get down on myself wondering why I can't have things figured out as well as "so and so" does.

But this thread just makes me feel so.. great about myself! :lol: Thanks, civic!

This thread is so sad. I know everbody's situation is different but IMO if your 25 and living at home you are completely taking advantage of your parents. I never understood why people want to live with their parents. It is so much better coming home to YOUR place.

Me and my parents get along great and always will but i'm over living with them.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
My parents know the love me and my brother have for import cars. They don't see why I need another car, but I just want and will get one. But, I guess to keep them from bitchin' when I get the h/b, I'll start paying the rent $$.

<img src="http://www.kanchi.org/random/mindblowing.gif">

Literally, you blow my mind. I created a special gif just for this response.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
After giving it thought I decided I will pay them $100 a month.


If I were your Dad, my response to this would be "After giving it thought I decided that you'd be better off learning how to live on your own." I don't think you understand what your parents are doing for you (your brother may be similarly clueless, but 2 wrongs don't make 1 right), and, as I've stated earlier, you should either pay them what they think is fair or exercise your option to move out. For you to think that you can set the amount of rent that you pay seems extremely ungrateful to me, and I honestly don't think you realize that.

Sit down tonight and set your priorities. You haven't spoken about your chuld much, but I'm assuming (s)he is near the top of the list. It sounds like your vehicle(s) is/are also near the top of the list. Housing seems pretty low on your list, at least if you are willing to "stomach" living with your parents for a year and while you "condescend" to pay $100/month rent.

Once you get your list made, ask your parents how much they want you to pay. Then decide whether you want to pay it, and if you think it is too much, make plans to move out. If it takes you 2 months to move out, pay them their stated rent for those 2 months.

I just went through something similar with my 18 year old daughter. I have planned all along to pay for half of her college expenses. That comes with conditions that I expect to be met. She did not want to meet those conditions, so I told her that she is an adult and is free to make her own choices, and she is now paying for school by herself. That doesn't mean I don't love her, and don't support her through encouragement. Your parents are probably trying to teach you to be an adult, especially since you are already a parent yourself.

man talk about whining about something that you probably should have volunteered to do. Come on 25 and living at home and you don't feel like paying? You might want to go find that silver spoon while you are at it. Just plop down the money and don't worry about it.

sorry to be so harsh but I find stuff like this pretty unacceptable.

it's not living at home thats bad because as long as you can put up with it and your parents are cool with it good for you. But once they ask for rent I can't believe you wouldn't even think about saying no.

Originally posted by Shoveler
I just went through something similar with my 18 year old daughter. I have planned all along to pay for half of her college expenses. That comes with conditions that I expect to be met. She did not want to meet those conditions, so I told her that she is an adult and is free to make her own choices, and she is now paying for school by herself.

Not to pry, but what were your conditions?

EinTier I lived for a year and 9 months with "strangers" (were strangers when we met, not strangers anymore) while getting my Masters, and then a year and five months with my sister.

So I got real life experience :D

Seems to be a lot of "loser" / "baby can't live on his own" talk going on.....

I am capable of moving out anytime I want. I can afford it.

BUT, as stated before there are several reasons why I am waiting to move out......

Do they offer a generic version of:

http://www.state.ky.us/nrepc/water/leech.gif

Originally posted by LX98Civic

BUT, as stated before there are several reasons why I am waiting to move out......

Like the boss ride.


Seems like if you were living with me to save money for a house, but had plenty of money to move out on your own, but wanted to buy some hobby car first, I'd decide that maybe I shouldn't be the only one paying the mortgage, water, sewer, property taxes, groceries, etc.

Originally posted by GatorDeb
EinTier why exactly is it bad to live at home in your 20's?

What's this whole American culture that living at home is bad?


I think it is "American" Culture. I have two Korean friends that were first born sons, both are in their mid 30's and still live with their parents.

They have no intentions on moving out, they do not pay rent (both sets of parents OWN the homes so there is no mortgage or rent that they pay). Both seem happy with their living conditions, both are also single ;)

I have one Vietnamese friend (age 35) in a similar situation. Him, his brothers and sisters, and all of their families live in the same house. He is married and so are all of his siblings, he is the only one yet to have kids. The parents pay nothing at this point and do not work, the kids all work and pay all the bills.



All of my 'American' friends are just like me (with the exception of one). We could not wait to leave our parents house/rules and start our own lives. None of us would go back unless the only other option was living in the street.

The one exception lives with his 90 year old grandmother, rent free, but he takes care of her and the house so that is sort of a different category all together. They fear putting her in a nursing home would kill her immediately, and home health care is just too expensive.

It is interesting how different cultures view living conditions.


For me 25 and working full time would = leaving my parents house

or

laying down a new set of rules and paying rent just long enough for me to get out :)

Originally posted by LX98Civic
Seems to be a lot of "loser" / "baby can't live on his own" talk going on.....

I am capable of moving out anytime I want. I can afford it.

BUT, as stated before there are several reasons why I am waiting to move out......

No one is doubting you can afford it. (yet)

It is precisely those "reasons" (as you see them) that are provoking the "loser" talk.

It doesn't help that you started this thread, presumably, for advice on your situation; however, you don't seem to want to hear the real-world wake-up call that has been repeated for 6 pages.

Originally posted by Breakfast with Girls
Not to pry, but what were your conditions?

No problem, I brought it up, I should be willing to discuss it, right? :)

She had a male friend (not a boyfriend, she has one of those, too) who is still in high school, moved out of his parents' house under circumstances that she won't explain to me, moved in with his grandparents, then got kicked out of his grandparents' house for reasons she won't explain to me (they changed the locks while he was gone). She "told" me that he would be living with her at her apartment for a while, until he could find someplace else to live. I told her that I felt this was a risky situation, loaded with potential problems that she couldn't see, and that I wouldn't be comfortable allowing it to happen. She insisted that I was trying to control her, while I maintain that I simply was applying my experience to cover her lack thereof. As far as I know, she went ahead and let him live with her, but she hasn't talked with me since August, despite my requests to get together and discuss it, so I don't know for sure.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I couldn't live with myself if I supported her decision and then something happened. Keep in mind, I didn't pull any of this "Don't do this or you're not my daughter anymore" crap. I told her that I would still love her, would still be her Dad, and would still want nothing but the best for her.

Originally posted by Shoveler
As far as I know, she went ahead and let him live with her, but she hasn't talked with me since August, despite my requests to get together and discuss it, so I don't know for sure.

You haven't communicated with her for two months? :eek:

Originally posted by Breakfast with Girls
You haven't communicated with her for two months? :eek:

No, I've communicated with her, but she doesn't communicate with me (aside from one or two emails of about 5 words like "I need $600 to fix my car" (I collected this money for her from an uninsured, unlicensed woman who rear-ended her a few weeks before this nonsense started, to fix the car that I gave her for a high school graduation present). She is punishing me for "attempting to control her". She communicates with her Mom (my ex-wife), and with my Mom (her Grandma), but not me.

The situation is compounded by the fact that we both live about 400 miles away from the rest of our families, and I will be moving in a couple of weeks. I have begged her to talk with me, but she won't, or at least hasn't.

ask them how much rent is going to be... it shouldn't be much you can humor them and give it to them or keep putting it off, wait and see if they pressure you for it before you make a big deal.

From what you said your parents sound pretty easy going so I am sure any money you give them will be turned around and given back to you when you move out like to help get things going around the house.

Originally posted by LX98Civic
Seems to be a lot of "loser" / "baby can't live on his own" talk going on.....

I am capable of moving out anytime I want. I can afford it.

BUT, as stated before there are several reasons why I am waiting to move out......

Exactly, you have the right to choose to "suffer through living there" in order to save more money to buy your house.
Very valid reasons.

But being you parents house, they have the right to ask for rent money, given your age and job status!

You don't really have much of a right to question that rationale. Just pay up, or move out, decide which is the optimal move for you.

Again the basis of the complaint is the unfair treatment issue of you and your brother, which I sympithize with believe me, as I've referenced in an earlier post.

I wish I had the opportunity to stay at home to save that much money!!!

Instead of saving on rent, save on the car. Prove that you are mature. Buying a car you don't need but balking on rent IS childish. It's all want want want and you don't seem to want to give. Life is a two-way street.

Do your Fast & Furious buddies know you still live with your parents and sleep in a bunk bed with your little brother? Don't take offense to all the "loser" comments people are giving you... it's just not typical for someone to live at home that long... it's normal in Korea, but not so much here. I mean, if I had parents and if I could live with them rent-free without it being murder on my social life or self-esteem at age 25, I'd do it.

You're the only one who can judge whether or not you should be paying rent. If your parents are just trying to light a fire under your butt, then you can probably get away with not paying for awhile... if they're serious, then you should do it. Hell - you've cost them enough money as it is. Time to give something back. :) It'll all be yours when they die anyway.

Ah Dude, you say you want to buy a house because apartments are money holes that don't build equity...well sweetie pie AUTOMOBILES ARE THE WORST INVESTMENTS YOU CAN MAKE, depreciating as soon as you drive off the lot.

I can't believe you still live with your parents and have the nerve to broadcast it to us. I can't believe you actually have a gf that puts up with your shiznit...she must be lacking self esteem...because if she had a better sense of self she'd leave your pathetic behind, bunkbed and all.

You talk about cars to affrim your masculinity and prove your viral prowess....honey REAL MEN DON'T NEED TO FLASH THEIR MATEIRAL POSSESIONS to feel adequit BOYZ drive pimped out rice and live with their daddies and mommies and only worry about their next mod.

GROW UP

MOVE OUT

And GET A LIFE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF

and when you have the money buy a beemer :)

PS. As a female, I have to say nothing turns me off like an imature, selfish boy who thinks he's a man and drives a teeny bopper rice box.
Personally, I'd be checking your priorities.

And kissing you patient and tolerant parent's feet

$100?!?!?! Geez, that would be my lunch money for the week. You say you can afford it to live outside. If that's the case, you should be paying more than $100 to your parents. I love cars, photography, DVDs, gadgets, computers, vacations, food, etc. but I still have a responsible to pay the bills even though I want a house too.

I think if I were his parents the $100 offer would be an insult. I'd kick him out to sleep in his car :D

Speaking as a future father (just 3 more months) if you told me that you had considered my idea of having to pay rent and determined that it was worth $100 to you, while you stood there and defiantly told me you were going to be purchasing a new car and that I had to succumb to your wishes because you wanted to buy a house in a year.

I would, after looking at your Mom for effect, would tell you "son, your mom and I love you very much and are extemely proud of you, but, in this case, while we do still love you, you are a complete and utter jerk and I'm not sure where your Mom and I went wrong, but we are going to correct our mistakes.

Our counter-offer to your idea is that next month you will start paying us a $1000 per month to live here plus cleaning and cooking services. We also will be charging you extra to park your cool ride in MY DRIVEWAY.

That is our final offer, if you need help packing let us know.

Sorry to say this but your thoughts and actions are incongruent, rethink your priorities.

-g

LX98Civic

"For all the Ricers in Savannah, Ga and surrounding areas.....
--You will no longer **** with my ride. The slow LX is getting the boot and a 5th gen. h/b Hybrid is coming. Rev all you want, but those Pep Boy mods aren't going to save your ***!!!"


WTF is this about???

Civic, what we are trying to say (the majority) is that in this case you are wrong. You are not acting mature if you spend all that money in a car and offer a paltry $100 to your parents (just food is more than that). I feel bad I only give my mom $500. (well I asked her to give me 10 years from when I started working full-time (July 2001) to completely take care of her). My free ride ended at 21... you got 4 more years out of it (I was managing my own money since I was 20... I got the money and I paid for food, gas, toothpaste and such, but rent was still free at that point).

I want a $3,000 digital camera. And a digital camcorder. And so many DVDs. And CDs, a laserdisc player, some LDs, a P4 computer with 1 gig of RDRAM. There are so many things that I want. But I practice what is called delayed gratification. You work hard for it.

Pay (a reasonable) rent or move out (and $100 rent is not reasonable, it's an insult to your parents. You are denigrating them). Choose what you want - the house or the car (and it's not like you don't even have a car... I was given my first car, a 1996 Kia Sephia which I still drive and plan on getting hopefully 4 more years out of it).

LX

You and I haven't always gottena long on this board, and I find this one to be no exception.

I'm 22 I live in the world's tiniest apartment in one of the area's nicest neighborhoods. I have one cupboard cabinet, one closet and one sink cabinet.

I have a tiny bathroom.

I have a bed/sofa that aren't mine,because the apartment is furnished.

I make Jackshit for $$ overall(and yes, it's my fault for buying a late model car).

But you knw what?

I'm much happier than when I was living at home. By far.

This is MY Place.

No parents.
NO Siblings.

MINE!!!

Move out. Seriously.

Can youa ctually "afford" a house?

Sure you can pay the mortage, but...

what about a plumbing problem?
how about a roof leaking?
what about any of 10000s of other things that can go wrong?
What about bills? Food? etc

Just get a nice apartment somewhere and learn to live along, I can't see buying a house will be a good "First step" for you.

man, is this thread going for longest in history??

Originally posted by Thunderball
I'm 22 I live in the world's tiniest apartment in one of the area's nicest neighborhoods.

Could be worse, I live in a tiny apartment in a not-so-great (read: high-crime) neighborhood. :)

LX, I think it's going to be difficult for you to convince most posters in this thread that what you're doing is reasonable. I know what it feels like to desire expensive items (hell, who doesn't?), even if they aren't absolutely necessary...but in this case it just seems like you're shifting money away from what's important (rent, apartment, house payment, etc.) to something that's not quite-as-urgent (second car).

I'm not sure I understand why you need a second car (because as far as I know your first one is fine, and you're even keeping it). I'm not sure what other expenses you have (girlfriend, child, etc.). I have no idea how much money you make. And while it's true that, for the most part, one's age shouldn't determine whether or not it's "acceptable" to live at home, I think the best thing for you to do here is just move out. Your girlfriend and you can have your own place. You won't have to deal with your brother nor parents. Sure, it'll mean waiting a little longer to own your own house...but what 25-year-old buys a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom house anyway? (IIRC, that's the size you wanted.) There's no shame in living