*********
2009 October Horror Movie Challenge **********
☼ = first time viewing.
Charlie Kelly = Wildcard bitches!!!!
2008 =
96 movies.
2009 goal = 60.
10/1
1.
Surveillance ☼ -
HDNet Movies -
Dir: Jennifer Chambers Lynch. Cast: Bill Pullman, Julia Ormond.
** - I found the film way too predictable. There were a few "lynchian" moments, but none of the deaths were good enough to overcome it's (big) flaws. More of a thriller than a Horror but it's close enough.
2.
Wolf Creek -
HD-DVD -
Dir: Greg McLean. Cast: John Jarrett, Cassandra Magrath.
**** - One of my favorite Horror flicks from the past 10 years. John Jarratt's performance is legend. I broke out my year-and-a-half old HD-DVD that I hadn't even opened until tonight and it looked
stunning.
3.
The Gateway Meat ☼ -
DVD -
Dir: Ron DeCaro. Cast: Ron DeCaro.
* - Completely inept at everything it wanted to accomplish. The "actors" have yet to even master
talking let alone attempting to act. There were a few Argento-esque camera angles and a kill or two stood out from the rest. That's it.
4.
Terror at Blood Fart Lake ☼ -
DVD -
Dir: Chris Seaver. Cast: Chris Seaver, Teen Ape.
** - Chris Seaver once again brings the funny. Probably his funniest film since Filty McNasty. Some of the best lines include:
"Being fucked by sex is like Fleetwood Mac ejaculating all over your insides",
"You think you're dark? I poop from my dicktip." and of course,
"Wait, are we really going to shove this dude into your asshole?"
5.
Charlie Kelly #1 - Supernatural - "The End"
10/2
6.
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto ☼ -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Rob Zombie. Cast: It's Rob Zombie, who do you think is in the cast?
** - I know what it was trying to do and I always welcome titties, animated or not, but I don't think Zombie quite pulled it off. It also doesn't help that the music isn't as funny as it thinks it is. I guess that's what you get for employing Chris Hardwick.
7.
Sick Girl ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Eben McGarr. Cast: Leslie Andrews.
*** - Really good flick with some nasty moments even
I haven't seen before. The film has a real gritty look to it. If I didn't know it was made in 2007, I'd probably guess it was released in the '70's. Oh, and greatest use of a strap-on EVER!
8.
Jennifer's Body ☼ -
Theater -
Dir: Karyn Kusama. Cast: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried.
** - Other than staring at Megan Fox for 90 minutes this film brings nothing to the table. It has no idea what it wants to be and the dialogue is actually worse than in Juno. Yes, it's actually
worse, which I didn't think was actually possible.
9.
Eat The Schoolgirl ["Osaka Telephone Club"] ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Naoyuki Tomomatsu. Cast: Kozue Aoki, Yuuki Fujita.
** - Bizarre and disturbing, even for me. The plot is nonexistent as is the acting. It's pretty much just sex scene after rape scene after murder scene. For some of the specifics, check out the tally below..
10/3
10.
Trick 'r Treat ☼ -
Online -
Dir: Michael Dougherty. Cast: Anna Paquin, Brian Cox.
**** - I can't fathom why this thing has been sitting on a shelf for 2 years. Totally worth the wait and then some. Definitely something I can see myself watching each year on/around Halloween. Mucho Recommendo!
11.
[REC] - DVD -
Dir: Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza. Cast: Manuela Velasco.
**** - One of my favorite Horror films from the past 10 years. I watched it during last years challenge and will most likely watch it during next years as well. Even though I've seen the film, like, 4 times now it still makes me jump. It's a much better film than...
12.
Quarantine -
Starz HD -
Dir: John Erick Dowdle. Cast: Jennifer Carpenter
** - To this day, I still can't figure out the reasoning behind making a shot-for-shot remake of any movie, let alone a movie that came out a year before, so for that, I'm biased. The camerawork is also much worse. Here it looks like any old Hollywood movie, whereas in REC it felt real. Hell, for some reason 30 seconds in the movie we see the cameraman. Why?!
13.
Grotesque ☼ -
Online -
Dir: Kôji Shiraishi. Cast: Tsugumi Nagasawa, Hiroaki Kawatsure.
** - Personally, I laugh when I hear a Japanese film being billed as "influenced by Hostel" when Hostel itself was just a genre rip-off of much better films the Japanese have been making for over 20 years. Another movie of wall-to-wall torture scenes.
14.
The Grudge 3 ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Toby Wilkins. Cast: Shawnee Smith, Johanna Braddy.
** - This is much, much better than the awful second one, but still the acting and characters were too bland. Whereas the second one was complete scare overkill, this one at least had originality in its scares.
10/4
15.
The Frighteners: Director's Cut -
HD-DVD -
Dir: Peter Jackson. Cast: Michael J. Fox, Jeffrey Combs.
*** - Probably the most underrated film in PJ's catalog. I still remember seeing this in the theater and being amazed at the special effects. Love this film and I'm now beginning to wonder why I go so long in between views.
16.
Laid to Rest ☼ -
TMC HD -
Dir: Robert Hall. Cast: Kevin Gage, Lena Headey.
** - I figured I'd give this a shot because I really enjoyed Hall's debut "Lightening Bug" and Kevin Gage is usually great in everything. This... sucked. The lead actress, besides having
massive boobs (which we never see) is really annoying. The only thing going for it was Almost Human's make-up effects. The gore ruled.
17.
Charlie Kelly #2 - Dexter - "Remains to Be Seen"
10/5
18.
Freddy Vs. Jason -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Ronny Yu. Cast: Monica Keena, Robert England.
*** - Why does Monica Keena have more one liners than Freddy Kreuger? I was pissed when I heard Katharine Isabelle used a body double for the shower scene. Am I the only one who notices Evangeline Lilly clear as day in front of the lockers in the high school?
19.
The Joy of Torture 2: Oxen Split Torturing ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Yuji Makiguchi. Cast: Yuusuke Kazato, Rena Uchimura.
** - Extremely effective and extremely unnerving. The torture scenes are really well done (especially for a film released in '76), they include crucifixions, a woman being dumped into a tank of snakes and a woman being torn apart by bulls.
20.
Zombieland ☼ -
Theater -
Dir: Ruben Fleischer. Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone.
*** - Quite a lot of fun. The poor man's Michael Cera never got annoying and Woody was, well, Woody. The cameo was terrific, one of the best scenes in the movie. That said, I fuckin' hate Twinkies.
10/6
21.
A Nightmare on Elm Street -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Wes Craven. Cast: Heather Langenkamp, Robert England.
**** - One of my all time favorites. I see so many terrible movies with Craven's name on it, sometimes I forget he used to have talent. The Blu-ray looked fantastic also, the best it's ever looked.
22.
Haute Tension - DVD -
Dir: Alexandre Aja. Cast: Cécile De France, Maïwenn Le Besco, Philippe Nahon.
**** - Despite plot holes and the Scooby Doo ending, this is one of my favoritist flicks of the past decade. De Rossi's gore effects are top notch as always and the film, well, let's just say it definitely lives up to it's name.
23.
The Texas Vibrator Massacre ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Rob Rotten. Cast: People doin' it.
** - Pretty funny (although I don't think that was it's intention) homage to The Chainsawed One. Although I must admit, I only made it about 5 minutes into the first sex scene before I had to start fast forwarding. I got really sleepy for some reason....
24.
Suicide Dolls ["Satsu satsu (ayame)"] ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Tamakichi Anaru. Cast: Shino Setsuna.
** - Another Japanese sick-flick, this time 3 tales of 3 women committing suicide. The first 2 are shot very voyeuristic with one video camera in one/two takes. The third features one of the most real looking harakiri deaths I've ever seen. I literally had to rewind it 4 times just so I could try to spot how the hell they did it. Oh, she then pulls out her eyeball...
25.
Zombie Self Defense Force ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Naoyuki Tomomatsu. Cast: Kenji Arai, Norman England.
** - Fun little film that's a definite cross of Versus and Romero's zombie flicks. There's also a bit of Braindead in here also, as there's a hilarious scene with a baby zombie running around the house biting people. Um.. it has a female cyborg chopping up zombies with a samurai sword. Should I really go on?
10/7
26.
Shaun of the Dead -
HD-DVD -
Dir: Edgar Wright. Cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost.
**** - Do I really need to describe why this film has become an annual viewing during the October Challenge? This is everything you'd ever want in a Zombie Comedy. Even the fact that Tim and Dawn were reunited was awesome.
27.
MoH: Imprint - DVD -
Dir: Takashi Miike. Cast: Billy Drago, Youki Kudoh.
*** - While Miike is one of my all time favorite directors, I was never a fan of the MoH series. I think having Mick Garris create something with the word "Master" in it is the definition of oxymoron. That dude's chin itches every time Stephen King scratches his balls.. but this one is a tough one to sit through. I'm not just talking about Drago's Oscar winning performance either..
28.
There's A Secret In My Soup ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Yeung Chi Gin, Yeung Chi Kin. Cast: Angela Tong Ying-Ying.
* - An alternate take on
Human Pork Chop. You've heard the story before. A group of guys kidnap a girl, beat her relentlessly, rape her, force-feed her shit, urinate on her, kill her, chop her up and stuff her into a Hello Kitty doll. It was based on
this case.
10/8
29.
Baby Blues - DVD -
Dir: Lars Jacobson, Amardeep Kaleka. Cast: Colleen Porch.
**** - One of my favorite "hidden gems" that I've been trying to get ever Horror fan I know to watch it since the first time I saw it a year and a half ago. Most of them yell at me and call me a sicko. This movie is good. Really good. See it. Thank me. Then talk about it in the discussion thread. If you have kids, I apologize.
30.
Smash Cut ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Lee Demarbre. Cast: David Hess, Sasha Grey, Michael Berryman. Herschell Gordon Lewis.
*** - Very enjoyable shlock flick with a good performance from Hess and Michael Berryman in a terrible, terrible wig. It has Sasha Grey performing Hamlet holding a severed head. Yeah, that's the kind of party you're in for..
31.
Ernest Scared Stupid -
Starz Comedy -
Dir: John R. Cherry III. Cast: Jim Varney, Eartha Kitt.
*** - As much a Halloween staple as stomach aches and PJ Soles boobies. One of my favorite childhood films. I must say when I was a youngin I totally had a crush on Elizabeth. Who I just now found out is topless in Jack Ketchum's The Lost. Which I've had sitting unopened for more than a year. So... uh, yeah.. I'll be riiiiiight back.
32.
Jack Ketchum's The Lost ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Chris Sivertson. Cast: Marc Senter, Shay Astar, Alex Frost.
** ...annnnd I'm back. This took forever to get to where it was going. It's kinda like it needed to get across the street, but it walked around the block twice, once back and once forth, when it coulda simply just fuckin' walked across the street. The last 10 minutes are good, I won't deny that.. it's just everything else I didn't care for.
33.
Charlie Kelly #3 - Supernatural - "Fallen Idols"
10/9
34.
Deadgirl ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Marcel Sarmiento, Gadi Harel. Cast: Shiloh Fernandez, Noah Segan.
*** - Very interesting take on the zombie genre. I knew nothing about this going in and ended up pleasantly surprised. My only complaint was that JT didn't seem evil to me. He seemed more like someone trying to act evil.
35.
The Children ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Tom Shankland. Cast: Eva Birthistle, Stephen Campbell Moore.
** - I wanted to like this movie more than I actually did. One of the leads, Casey, looks like a hot Emma Stone.. but god were the characters stupid. How do you not know your kids are evil?! They have formed dark circles around their eyes and stopped blinking. Hellooooo, watch a movie once in a while. Sheesh.
36.
X-Cross ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Kenta Fukasaku. Cast: Nao Matsushita, Ami Suzuki, Hiroyuki Ikeuchi.
*** - Really fun little film. I'd say only about the first 40 minutes are actually Horror, the rest is a mix of action and comedy. The closest I can compare it to in tone is "The Machine Girl" which is to say it never takes itself seriously. We, finally, get to see what would win in a fight, a chainsaw or big fuckin' scissors. Aweeesomeee.
10/10
37.
War of the Worlds - DVD -
Dir: Steven Spielberg. Cast: Tom Cruise.
*** - I know, I know. Technically it's Sci-Fi, but fuck if it doesn't share at least some characteristics of a Horror film. I love this flick. I don't watch it enough. I know the end sucks but I can look past that.
38.
Dellamorte Dellamore - DVD -
Dir: Michele Soavi. Cast: Rupert Everett, François Hadji-Lazaro, Anna Falchi.
**** - Easily one of my favorite zombie films of all time. Every time I watch this (which is quite often) I find something new that I didn't catch before. It's amazing. Also amazing is Anna Falchi. Holy shit. A goddess if I've ever seen one.
39.
The Sinful Dwarf: XXX Version ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Vidal Raski. Cast: Torben Bille, Anne Sparrow, Tony Eades.
*** - The sleaziest of the sleazy. While it isn't my first time seeing the movie, It
is my first time watching the hardcore version. It does add another layer of sleaziness, in my opinion. Torben Bille is as perfect a villain as you can think.
40.
Nutbag ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Nick Palumbo. Cast: Mack Hail, Renee Sloan, Jenesses Kenney.
** - I wasn't the biggest fan of MSP and I personally think Palumbo is a talentless hack, well.. I still think that. This movie tries to be disturbing on it's kills alone, which doesn't work because the effects are horrible. They're clearly using the the worst retractable blade I've ever seen, but they don't seem to care that knives are supposed to be shiny.
41.
The Descent -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Neil Marshall. Cast: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Alex Reid.
**** - One of the few modern films I'd consider a bonafide masterpiece. I still remember watching the DVD 6 times
before I saw it in the theater (I had the region 2 double-disc at the time) and then proceeded to sit 3 more times in the theater (Once at midnight). IMO, the film is just about perfect. Kinda like
Alien, I get extremely claustrophobic whenever I watch it.
10/11
42.
John Carpenter's The Thing -
HD-DVD -
Dir: John Carpenter. Cast: Kurt Russell.
**** - From a modern masterpiece to an all-timer. One of my top 2 favorite films of all time (the other is a certain sequel to a certain series starring a certain chinned one..) and even though I've lost count of the number of times I've sat through it, it's still the best. I'm
still amazed at the make-up effects in this flick. It truly doesn't get any better.
43.
Cold Prey ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Roar Uthaug. Cast: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Rolf Kristian Larsen.
*** - While trying to emulate American slasher films, this little Norwegian film takes a step above, if you ask me. What the film lacks in the gore department it makes up with atmosphere, beautiful cinematography and likable characters. My only complaint is with all the nu-metal shit on the soundtrack. Dudes, you're in Norway.. the birthplace of Black Metal. That's the best you can do?
44.
Cold Prey 2 ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Mats Stenberg. Cast: Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Marthe Snorresdotter Rovik.
*** - Just as good, if not better than the first one. Starting almost exactly after the first one left off, this sequel amps up the blood making this even
more like it's American counterparts. The cast isn't as fleshed out and likable (except the one holdover from the first film) but that would be my only complaint.
45.
Charlie Kelly #4 - Dexter - "Blinded by the Light"
10/12
46.
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - DVD -
Dir: George Barry. Cast: Demene Hall, a killer Sealy Posturepedic.
** - This is just one of those movies. It seems totally ridiculous but it's just a whole lotta fun. I laugh like a school girl from the Philippines every time I watch it. It's a great party film. Although, I must admit I did stab my mattress 9 times after viewing this. Ya'know, just in case..
10/13
47.
Shuttle ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Edward Anderson. Cast: Tony Curran, Peyton List, Cameron Goodman.
*** - Another film I had no prior knowledge of going in that really surprised me. There's plenty of twists and turns abound while the characters are basically stupid and do things that normal people would never do, but that's the kind of thing you just get used to and it really doesn't bother me anymore. I think the story is strong enough to make up for it though.
48.
Girl Hell ["Injured Murder Rape Film"] ☼ -
Online -
Dir: Daisuke Yamanouchi. Cast: Natsumi Harada.
** - Well, what do you expect from a film subtitled "Injured Murder Rape Film"? A documentary about the survival of the Humpback whale? No, this is exactly how it sounds. This film has 3 things in spades: Murder, Rape and Injuries. One of my favorite moments though, is one where a rapist stomps on a girls tit only to get a face full of breast milk.
49.
The Blair Witch Project ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez. Cast: Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard.
*** - Yes, this is my first viewing of this.. and I must say, I enjoyed it. I figured with all the Paranormal Activity talk, I might as well
finally see this. I think seeing it now, almost a decade removed from the hype and marketing hoopla and everything else surrounding the film helped me enjoy the movie more than I thought would.
10/14
50.
Drag Me To Hell -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Sam Raimi. Cast: Alison Lohman, Justin Long.
*** - This is just the type of film you'd hope from Raimi. There's a few people who had some problems with Lohman, but I always liked her and thought she did fine. There's some great gags throughout. It kinda had that Evil Dead II feel (which is my favorite film of all time, so yeah) It coulda been a hell of a lot worse. We could of had Ellen Page in the lead...
51.
Prince of Darkness ☼ -
Max HD -
Dir: John Carpenter. Cast: Donald Pleasence, Victor Wong.
*** - While I have seen JC's more seminal work, I have, admittedly, skipped out on some of his "lesser" films. I'm slowly but surely trying to make up for that. This was an effectively creepy film that featured great make-up effects and another brilliant JC score.
52.
Entrails of a Virgin ["Shojo no harawata"] ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Kazuo Komizu. Cast: Saeko Kizuki, Naomi Hagio.
** - Holy shit was this hilarious. Unintentional, I guess, but hilarious nonetheless. It features these moments of pure hilarity: a guy in his underwear torturing a topless girl until she pisses herself by performing wrestling maneuvers such as the Piledriver and the Sharpshooter, the funniest standing 69 ever and last but not least, a woman furiously masturbating with a severed arm.
53.
In the Mouth of Madness ☼ - DVD -
Dir: John Carpenter. Cast: Sam Neill, Julie Carmen.
*** - Continuing with my first time viewing of JC's "other" films, I have heard nothing but great things about this from like, everybody. Well, it definitely lived up to those lofty expectations. While it wasn't as scary as I had heard, it was still a terrific flick with more awesome work from Carpenter and KNB.
10/15
54.
The Nightmare Before Christmas -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Henry Selick. Cast: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon.
*** - My girlfriend swore up and down that she never saw this (which I knew was a lie because I distinctly remember watching it
with her) so I decided to break out the Blu-ray and give it a spin. About a quarter way through, around the time Jack discovers Christmastown, she looks over at me and goes "Oh.. I remember this!" Yep, that's my girlfriend. An idiot.
55.
I, Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Andrew Parkinson. Cast: Ellen Softley, Dean Sipling.
* - While a good idea in concept, this movie just about fails on every level. You'd think a simple story about the transformation into zombiehood would yield better results. This, for some reason, is more of an art film with way too many scenes of the zombie staring off into the distance while piano music played. Oh well, at least I got the chance to see that zombie's
do masturbate..
56.
Malabimba: The Malicious Whore (X-Rated Version) ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Andrea Bianchi. Cast: Katell Laennec.
*** - A rip-off of The Exorcist (yes, another one!) with a lot more nudity, a lot more incest and pubic hairs aplenty. Ahhh, the sleaze. The X-rated footage only lasts about 10 seconds and doesn't even match the actions of the actors involved, but hey it's dick going into vagina. It helps the sleazy aspect of the film.
57.
Charlie Kelly #5 - Supernatural - "I Believe the Children Are Our Future"
10/16
58.
Subconscious Cruelty ☼ - DVD -
Dir: by Karim Hussain. Cast: Brea Asher, Ivaylo Founev.
** - Most. Pretentious. Film. Ever. Anyway, the make-up effects are terrific here but the voice-over is annoying. The guy's voice made me want to kick a pregnant woman. The best scene is the what-seemed-like 20 minute long abortion scene. Oh, and I kinda liked the scene where that Jesus fellow got anally raped by a tree branch. Ah.. good times.
59.
Dawn of the Dead -
Blu-ray -
Dir: George A. Romero. Cast: Ken Foree, David Emge.
**** - Not only is this one of my favorite films of all time, this is, without a doubt, one of the greatest films ever. I'm not just talking about Horror, I'm talking about the whole shebang. You don't think so? Oh well, who cares. Your opinion doesn't matter anyway. I can never watch this enough. Every time it just gets better and better and better and..
10/17
60.
Dawn of the Dead -
HD-DVD -
Dir: Zack Snyder. Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber.
** - I did like the movie, much more than I was
ever expecting too but well.. it's still a remake of a favorite of mine. For that, I'll hate it despite the fact I um, actually kinda like it. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, and fuck fast-moving zombies. I fuckin' hate them. I fuckin' hate them in any movie, but I especially fuckin' hate them in a movie called Dawn of the Dead.
61.
Guinea Pig: The Devil's Experiment ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Satoru Ogura.
** - ...and the torture beings. It's time to strap myself in for what seems to be a bumpy ass ride. The first film features torture of the hilarious, like getting slapped and getting spun around in a chair 200 times, to the horrible, like getting your fingernails ripped off and getting a needle to the side of the face that comes out of your eyeball. Ouch!
62.
Guinea Pig: Flowers of Flesh & Blood - DVD -
Dir: Hideshi Hino.
*** - This is one that I had seen before. This features a dude in full-on Shredder gear torturing a woman by cutting off her hands, arms, legs and head. Yep.. and we are just getting started, baby! Oh, and this is just
more proof that Charlie Sheen is a moron.
63.
Guinea Pig: He Never Dies ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Masayuki Kusumi.
** - A plot? Really? What the cock is this shit? This is the third entry, the first with plot, and is by far the funniest one yet. Yes, the funniest. This is downright comedy, folks! A depressed man decides to slit his wrists only to find out that, yep.. he's immortal! There can be only TWO!! Anyway, he then figures.. ah what the hell, and begins to gut himself.
64.
Guinea Pig: Mermaid In A Manhole - DVD -
Dir: Hideshi Hino.
*** - The other entry that I previously saw. This is, along with Flowers, the most popular of the series and at least so far, the most creative. Painter guy finds Mermaid girl in the sewer. She's just chillin', all wounded and shit. He takes her home and um... well, what do you think?
While I take a break, here's a message from the folks over at Hot Fuzz:
65.
Guinea Pig: Android of Notre Dame ☼ - DVD - Dir: Kazuhito Kuramoto.
** - Quite the bizarre little film. It's not as gross out as Flowers, not quite as funny as He Never Dies and not as weird as Mermaid, but this little ditty definitely leaves an impression. As much as I searched I couldn't find one hunchback. Not a one. I did, however, find a dwarf. Which in my eyes, is more win.
66.
Guinea Pig: Devil Woman's Doctor ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Hajime Tabe.
*** - Really funny tale about a transvestite doctor who performs experiments on her patients. Some really funny shit in this, like a guy who sweats blood and a family who's heads explode when they get upset (the baby's head exploding had me
rollin'). While this by far the least gross-out entry in the series, it ends it on a high note.
10/18
67.
Martyrs - DVD -
Dir: Pascal Laugier. Cast: Mylène Jampanoï, Morjana Alaoui.
*** - I wasn't the biggest fan of this the first time I saw it. I mean it was good and all but my expectations were astronomical. On this my second viewing, I think the movie is much better than I had originally thought. I wasn't in awe like I was the first time I saw Inside, but it's starting to grow on me.. like a rash.
68.
Charlie Kelly #6 - Dexter - "Dex Takes A Holiday"
10/19
69.
Concrete ["Schoolgirls In Cement"] ☼ - DVD-R -
Dir: Hiromu Nakamura. Cast: Miki Komori.
** - More wall-to-wall Japanese goodness.
Based on a true story. Woman is raped repeatedly, beaten, murdered and dropped in cement. Some of the acts of violence are of the funny kind, like setting her hair on fire, to the ouch! kind, like them sticking a lit-up light bulb up her cooch. It's a shame, 'cause her future was so bright. Oh, ziiiiing!
10/20
70.
Tumbling Doll of Flesh ["Psycho: The Snuff Reels"] - DVD-R -
Dir: Tamakichi Anaru. Cast: Kanako Ooba.
*** - This film is pretty much the Godfather Part 2 of the Japanese pseudo-snuff genre. The first half is your typical porn flick while the end is an orgy of rape, torture, limb-cutting and stomach-fucking. This is one of the films that I think of when I hear the phrase "Often imitated but never duplicated" So, I ask you.. WHY IS IT THAT I'VE SEEN THIS 4 TIMES?!?
71.
Hostel -
Blu-ray -
Dir: Eli Roth. Cast:Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson.
*** - I've had the Blu-ray sitting on my shelf since it's release and just kept putting off opening it. Well, I finally decided to give it a whirl, having not seen the film in something like 2 years. I still like it. I watched the DC version and I really dug the new ending. I think it's a more fucked up way to end it. Oh, and Barbara Nedeljakova is one of the reasons I'm glad I have a dick.
10/21
72.
Noroi: The Curse ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Kôji Shiraishi. Cast: Jin Muraki, Rio Kanno.
**** - Wow, this surprised me. I went in only really knowing it's like a Japanese version of The Blair Witch, but it is much more and much better, if you ask me. This feels more real. It's pretty slow but the creepiness factor is in there, full tilt. Including a scene that's still, about forty minutes after it's over, creepin' me the fuck out.
73.
Paranormal Activity ☼ -
Theater -
Dir: Oren Peli. Cast: Katie Featherston <3, Micah Sloat.
*** - Extremely effective and, at some points, extremely creepy. No, I didn't think it was "the scariest film since The Exorcist" but it didn't need to be. I didn't even find the opening of the doors and shit like that to be the creepiest, I thought it was the fact that Katie would get up in the middle of the night and just stand there staring at Micah for 2 hours. That, right there is.. fucked.. up!
10/22
74.
Night of the Giving Head ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Rodney Moore. Cast: Nikki Coxx, Annie Cruz.
** - Another porn spoof. Spermarays cause all the male sperm on Earth to cause women to become Zombies if swallowed. So, while there is no cannibalism there's lots and lots of cumshots. Whipped Cream causes their deaths. Yep... whipped cream.
10/23
75.
The Last House on Dead End Street ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Roger Watkins. Cast: Roger Watkins, Ken Fisher.
*** - This is the find of film that just makes you feel like a despicable human being for just
watching it. The blood effects don't really hold up that well, but the overall sleazy nature of the movie just makes you want to take a shower.
76.
Black Devil Doll ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Jonathan Lewis. Cast: Heather Murphy, a mothafuckin' puppet.
*** - Always hilarious, never poignant. The movie that seemed like it took for-fucking-EVER to be released arrived on my doorstep and I was as giddy as Sean Hannity at a lynching. This definitely isn't a film for everyone, but if you're an exploitation fan, there's no reason not to love this. It's relatively short but it's filled to the brim with many white ho's boobies, a pissed off puppet, sex acts that are illegal in about 17 of the 50 states and plenty of bodily fluids (of
all kinds).
77.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Joe Berlinger. Cast: Kim Director, Jeffrey Donovan.
** - Here it is, the much hated sequel to The Blair Witch but kinda like a lot of other films that are hated by the majority, I kinda enjoyed it. Is it perfect? No. Should you expect it to be? Fuck no. Berlinger, the director behind the awesome Paradise Lost and it's sequel, was in a lose-lose situation and somehow squeezed out a win.
10/24
78.
À l'intérieur ["Inside"] - DVD -
Dir: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury. Cast: Béatrice Dalle, Alysson Paradis.
**** - This is it. This is the movie that even
I think has gone too far. There's really nothing I can say about this because I'm still, 3 years later, speechless. After ejecting the DVD, I had to go for a walk. Yeah, that's the kind of film this is. It's not just the gore either, the tension and atmosphere is ridiculous.
79.
End of the Line ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Maurice Devereaux. Cast: Ilona Elkin, Nicholas Wright.
*** - Very enjoyable small-budget flick that is sure to keep you away from the subway and even further away from religion (as if you needed an excuse for that..) Some of the acting is a little shoddy, but the make-up effects are extremely well done for such a small budget movie and features a scene that rivals, in creepiness, the elevator scene in "The Eye."
10/25
80.
My Bloody Valentine - DVD -
Dir: George Mihalka. Cast: Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck.
*** - I finally got around to catching the uncut version of this slasher, and it's a definite improvement. The footage isn't the best looking but that's a tiny complaint. The film now has a bigger punch now that some of the deaths that I heard about along time ago, I can finally see. A definite recommendation for Slasher film fans.
81.
Hardgore ☼ - DVD-R -
Dir: Michael Hugo. Cast: John Seeman, Dianne Galke.
** - Classic Horror-Porn smuttiness that reminds me why I love this shit to begin with. Some favorite scenes include: a woman being drenched in semen by multiple cock-rockets (not making that up!) and a guy who is taking a women from behind while bending her over a guillotine and upon taking it out and letting loose on her butt, he chops her head off. Hell, you gotta love any horror movie that has a
scissorfight and I'm not talking about the instrument used to cut paper...
82.
The Suicide Manual ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Osamu Fukutani. Cast: Kenji Mizuhashi, Chisato Morishita.
** - Very uneven story. It kinda goes up and down. It's interesting, then boring, then interesting and now it's boring again. I will give it credit for their portrayal of suicide. They don't sugar coat it or make it seem desirable (like the book did), it's told in a very cold and frank manner. I can't quite recommend this, but it isn't awful.
83.
Teenage Hooker Became Killing Machine in Daehakroh ☼ -
Online -
Dir: Gee-woong Nam. Cast: So-yun Lee.
** - Here's an arty little flick that's basically a cyberpunk revenge film with an interesting name. The title is more on the money than Snakes on a Plane was. Teenage hooker is killed, she is brought back as a cyborg, she kills people. Has to be awesome, right? Wroooong! This could have been Machine Girl-esque but gets limp real quick.
10/26
84.
Entrails of a Beautiful Woman ["Bijo no harawata"] ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Kazuo 'Gaira' Komizu. Cast: Megumi Ozawa.
*** - This is an awesome Japanese version of "I Spit On Your Grave." Only difference is,
this woman becomes a penis-headed demon when she cuts, chops, blah, blah, blah. Hilarious results, though. Totally worth it. Pretty much everything you'd want or expect in an Exploitation flick is packaged in this little ditty.
85.
Lucky Sky Diamond ☼ -
Online -
Dir: Izô Hashimoto. Cast: Naoko Amihama.
** - This is the so-called "lost" entry in the Guinea Pig series. Truth be told, it really has nothing to do with that series even though they share some similarities. There's plenty of gore, sex and there's even a guy running around in a suit made out of a fuckin' cardboard box. My personal favorite scene involves a surgeon getting head while he's tickling the brain of the lead actress after a he has cut open her head. He then, finds a cockroach crawling around in there. Then he eats it.
10/27
86.
Once Bitten - DVD -
Dir: Howard Storm. Cast: Lauren Hutton, Jim Carrey, Karen Kopins.
*** - I was a huge fan of this movie way before I even knew who the hell Jim Carrey was. Ahh.. this brings back memories. I remember the first time seeing this was on "USA Up All Night" when I was a youngin and I wore out the tape when I recorded it over some important home movie or some shit.. and I'll tell you for the last time, I'M NOT WEARING A COSTUME!!
87.
My Boyfriend's Back - DVD -
Dir: Bob Balaban. Cast: Andrew Lowery, Traci Lind, Danny Zorn.
*** - My day of nostalgia continues. I don't care what people say, this movie is hilarious. It's weird watching it now after many cast members have gone on to be stars, like Matthew Fox, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Matthew McConaughey. Anyway, whatever happened to Traci Lind? Her IMDB credits end at 1997. I would have totally eaten Chuck for her.
88.
My Best Friend Is A Vampire - DVD -
Dir: Jimmy Huston. Cast: Robert Sean Leonard, LeeAnne Locken, Cheryl Pollak.
*** - Another childhood favorite. Very similar to Once Bitten with a not as attractive cast. OK, as much as I liked the film I need to complain about Lions Gate's retarded DVD release. I mean, seriously? A full-screen only edition in this day-and-age is a total bitch move and they need to be bitch-slapped accordingly.
89.
Little Shop of Horrors - DVD -
Dir: Frank Oz. Cast: Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin.
*** - This one took me way back. I'm pretty sure the whole Bill Murray cameo was one of the reasons I hated (and still do hate) going to the dentist. It was also a treat seeing Greene (and her cleavage) back then after seeing her now on shows like Heroes and Pushing Daisies. FEEEEEEEED ME SEEEEEMOOOOORREEE!
90.
The Monster Squad - DVD -
Dir: Fred Dekker. Cast: Tom Noonan, Andre Gower, Robby Kiger.
*** - This is the movie that taught me the word "dork" when talking about a guy's dick. I dunno why, but I used to say that all the time. For like, no reason at all. Just dork, dork, dork, dork. Of course, I grew up. Now, I say cock, cock, cock, cock. I dunno why I say this, I just do.
10/29
91.
Braindead - DVD -
Dir: Peter Jackson. Cast: Timothy Balme, Diana Peñalver, Elizabeth Moody.
**** - I've been sick as shit the last few days so my totals have gone all to hell but I had to make sure I got a viewing of this in here. Still my favorite Zombie Horror/Comedy. I know Dead Alive is PJ's preferred cut, but the Blood Edition of Braindead is too good to go back.
92.
The House of the Devil ☼ -
HDNet Movies -
Dir: Ti West. Cast: Jocelin Donahue, Tom Noonan, Mary Woronov.
** - I was left disappointed. I enjoyed the look and feel but it took forever to get to the point and too much shit happens that has nothing to do with the main plot or story or is just there to make the running time a little longer.
10/30
93.
Stop The Bitch Campaign: Hell Version ☼ - DVD -
Dir: Kôsuke Suzuki. Cast: Hiroko Andô, Ken'ichi Endô.
** - Another laugh-out-loud Japanese sick-flick. There's so much fruit rape in here it's ridiculous. We're talkin' bout Onions and Banana's being inserted up various women, a dude getting some huge weird looking Japanese fruit shoved up his ass. The best is two women tied up, naked and both simultaneously raped by Cucumber nunchucks. There's also a nice castration-by-Blender scene. My favorite line, which also sets up the film quite nicely, is: "Hey, what are you doing? A cock isn't for putting in a vice." I don't know why, but that makes me laugh.
10/31
94.
Army of Darkness -
MAXHD -
Dir: Sam Raimi. Cast: Bruce Campbell, Embeth Davidtz.
**** - As the last line of the film dictates: "Hail to the King, baby!".. Oh, hail indeed!
95.
Evil Dead 2 -
Blu-ray -
Directed by Sam Raimi. With Bruce Campbell, Sarah Berry, Dan Hicks.
**** - Pretty much my favorite movie ever. Anything I write here will just seem like a massive amount of cock sucking so I'm just going to leave it at that and bow out with my dignity intact.
96.
Halloween -
Blu-ray -
Dir: John Carpenter. Cast: Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis.
**** - This is, understandably, a classic and the movie I watch every year on this date whether I want to or not. I mean, what can I possibly say? I did learn one thing. I learned that my girlfriend doesn't like this. Needless to say, after the credits rolled, we broke up. Well, for at least 20 minutes.
Running tally of depravity.. in spoiler.
