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Old 09-24-08, 06:29 PM   #10
LickTheABCs
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
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10/01

1. Baby Blues - 85 min. - Directed by: Lars E. Jacobson and Amardeep Kaleka. Netflix. DVD - There are some places filmmakers should not go, and this is definitely one of 'em. Basically about a mother, played brilliantly by Colleen Porch, who gets a "vision from god" and decides to go all Jack Torrence by killing her infant son and three kids. It's "The Shining" meets "Inside". Yeah. A MUST RECOMMEND. But be warned, if violence against kids "isn't your bag" stay far, far away. 5 Here's Mommy!'s out of 5.

2. Event Horizon - 96 min. - Directed by: Paul Anderson. Netflix. ShoHD - Very good horror flick set on a space station, which stars Sam Neill, the mom from Nip/Tuck and the gap between Laurence Fishburne's teeth. Hey, I know what you're thinkin'. It's Paul Anderson, there's no way he made a good movie. Well, he did. Way back when. Recommended. 3.5 "Wait! Haven't I seen this before?" moments out of 5.

3. Severance - 96 min. - Directed by: Christopher Smith. Netflix. DVD - I almost forgot how fun this flick is. Equally balances Horror and Comedy. Excellent follow-up to "Creep" from Christopher Smith. 4 "G'damn Laura Harris is hot in this!"'s out of 5.

10/02

4. Creature from the Black Lagoon - 80 min. - Directed by: Jack Arnold. Netflix. MaxHD - Ah, still one of my favorite of the Universal monsters. Looked alot better than I was expecting in HD, too. A must see for fans of horror, oh hell, you're probably going to watch it this month anyway..4.5 "Where the hell is Aquaman when you need him?"'s out of 5.

5. Plan 9 from Outer Space - 79 min. - Directed by: Edward D. Wood Jr. Netflix. TCM - I was expecting to wait to watch this at the end of the month, like I usually do, but decided to record it on TCM instead of digging out my DVD.. I know it's TECHNICALLY not horror, but I can care less about your categorization. It has Zombies. 'Nuff said. I don't care if they're holding a cape over their mouth or not. 5 "at least it had to be better than Plan 6. Now THAT sucked!" out of 5.

6. Naboer ("Next Door") - 75 min. - Directed by: Pĺl Sletaune. Netflix. DVD - I needed something fairly short to fit in before the clusterfuck of programming on Thursday night, so I put in this little Norwegian film. Very David Lynchian in nature, with truly one of the most unintentionally funny sex scenes in film history. Well, most might find it disturbing, I found it funny. Hey, that chick is hot, even when she had his nose-blood rubbed all over her tits. 3.5 "How did they get away with that?"'s out of 5.

10/03

7. Right at Your Door - 96 min. - Directed by: Chris Gorak. Netflix. SundanceHD - Very enjoyable small budget flick which was a little tampered by the Mist-esque scooby doo ending. Otherwise, I liked it. 3.5 "The second best use of duct tape after kidnapping."out of 5.

8. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein - 83 min. - Directed by: Charles Barton. Netflix. MaxHD - What can possibly be said about this that most people don't already know. It's Abbott and Costello. One of the best Horror/Comedies ever made and worthy of a spot on everybody's list. 5 "Fine, I'll take Mary off your hands for ya"'s out of 5.

9. All The Boys Love Mandy Lane - 90 min. - Directed by: Jonathan Levine. Netflix. DVD - Better than usual slasher flick with and innovative kill or two. And dayum, Amber Heard is a piece. One thing though, all the dudes in this are a buncha dorks, so they wouldn't be able bang a chick like Mandy, anyway. Anyway, pretty good. 3 "I'd hit that!"'s out of 5.

10. Sheitan ("Satan") - 94 min. - Directed by: Kim Chapiron. Netflix. DVD - This film is ALL Vincent Cassell. His performance here completely makes me forget how big a tool he looked dancing around in the Ocean flick. Again, the guys are all a buncha nerds, but that's to be expected. Another awesome French flick that gets a high recommendation from me. If for nothing else Cassell's performance. 4.5 "That motherfucker is ca-ray-zeeeee!"'s out of 5.

10/04

11. Hatchet - 93 min. - Directed by: Adam Green. Netflix. DVD - Kinda cliched but felt that's kinda where they were headed. Gore was nice. The parade of Horror "icons" gets annoying after the first 24 movies. Nothing more I can really say. Oh, funniest thing in forever: DVD extra entitled "Meeting Victor Crowley" for those who have seen know exactly what I mean. 3.5 "Woohoo! I get to see Harmony's boobs!!"'s out of 5.

12. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre - 83 min. - Directed by: Tobe Hooper. Netflix. DVD - Well, there really isn't anything I need to say to justify giving this a view, the next few films.. maybe. This is constant viewing for me, this "challenge" just gives me a better excuse. 5 "HA! That's what you get Franklin, you annoying prick!" out of 5.

13. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A Family Portrait - 64 min. - Directed by: Brad Shelley. DVD - Eh, nothing special. Lots of stuff gets repeated. Yep, it was hot. Ok, next. Half the thing is blurred and too much of Gunnar complaining that he will forever be remembered for being Leatherface. Trust me dude, there's much worse things a person can be remembered for. Case in point. 2 "Shoulda been a DVD extra, or something.."'s out of 5.

14. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 - 100 min. - Directed by: Tobe Hooper. Netflix. DVD - In the 14 years since the first film, Dennis Hopper became pissed off, Letherface went on the Adkins diet and Chainsaw became one word. Eh, I've always been too hard on this film, but this time, I don't know if it just clicked with me or not, 'cause I enjoyed it more than I usually would. Well, it was funnier at least. Dennis Hopper is great as is Bill Moseley. 3 "CHAINSAW FIGHT!!!"'s out of 5.

15. Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III [unrated] - 85 min. - Directed by: Jeff Burr. Netflix. DVD - Again, as much as usually dislike these flicks maybe I'm just in a good mood, or hell, maybe it's because I'm finally watching them all in a row, but again.. more entertaining than I remember.. and hey, It's Viggo! 3 "The King, the King, the King is on fire, He don't need no water let the Numenorean burn, Burn Numenorean burn!"'s out of 5.

10/05

16. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation - 86 min. - Directed by: Kim Henkel. Netflix. DVD - Yeah, this one, I was takin' for the team. If I hadn't decided to watch all 6 flicks in a row, I never woulda even owned this. Anyway, McConaughey (sans bongos) is actually the only thing I enjoyed about it. Huh, who woulda thought? 1.5 "This film doesn't even deserve something funny here"'s out of 5.

17. Texas Chainsaw Massacre [remake] - 98 min. - Directed by: Marcus Nispel. Netflix. DVD - I haven't actually watched this since I bought the 2-disc the day it was released.. and now I remember why. G'damn, Jessica Biel is fine in this, but the rest of it, yeah, blows ass. 2 "What the hell was the point?"'s out of 5.

10/06

18. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning [unrated] - 96 min. - Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman. Netflix. DVD - I saw this in the theater, didn't care for it. Got the DVD on the cheap mainly for this challenge. Bleh. Still terrible. Good for gore, so the "Hostel" crowd will love it. Anyway, undeserving of the words "Chainsaw" and "Massacre" 1.5 "Jordana Brewster is cute, though"'s out of 5.

19. Das Komabrutale Duell - 85 min. - Directed by: Heiko Fipper. Netflix. DVD - Ok, the last 25 minutes of Dead Alive spread throughout 85 minutes. Yes. Maybe. MAYBE the goriest film ever made. 'Nuff said. Story: 0 "Story? We don't need to no stinkin' stories" out of 5. Gore: 5 "Yeah! b-o-yyyyyy!"'s out of 5. I apologize for I do not know how Flava Flav made it into my list.

10/07

20. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer - 85 min. - Directed by: Jon Knautz. Netflix. DVD - Very reminiscent of films like "Army of Darkness" and "Slither" (which are both awesome, btw) and other than the fact that the lead actor is really annoying this film follows suit. Robert England is competent in his role, but the chicks aren't that attractive. They don't show any boob, either. 3.5 "If you find a black heart buried in your front lawn: MOVE"'s out of 5.

WILDCARD* "Fantastic Flesh" - Starz documentary on Make-Up Effects. Eh, so-so. I guess I considered this a wildcard because even though they talk about Day of the Dead, The Thing and The Mist, they also talk about The Godfather and Dances with Wolves.

21. Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane - 89 min. - Directed by: Scott Thomas. Netflix. DVD - Pretty funny. I can picture the pitch meeting now. "OK, OK, It's Snakes on a Plane, but instead of snakes, ya listenin? OK, instead of snakes, Zombies. Yes, frickin' Zombies on a plane. Awesome, eh? Oh, and get this. Instead of Sam Fucking Jackson, we'll get Buddy Revell. Boom! Clean your pants and let's green light this like now!" 2 "Insert joke here"'s out of 5.

10/08

22. Intruder - 88 min. - Directed by: Scott Spiegel. Netflix. DVD - Awesome slasher flick that is forgotten when the greats are talked about. It has '80's style deaths, '80's hair, it stars Ted and Sam Raimi, has a cameo from Bruce Campbell and is one of the first gigs for KNB. A must see. 4 "I'm just crazy 'bout this store!"'s out of 5.

23. Wrestlemaniac - 75 min. - Directed by: Jesse Baget. Netflix. DVD - Yep. Killer Luche Libra. Buncha dorky guys and ugly chicks car breaks down in a "ghost town" where Rey Mysterio Sr. is killing people and ripping their faces off. This film is EXACTLY as it sounds. Interesting, but spectacular, but hey it's only 75 minutes long. 2 "Where's La Parka when you need him?"'s out of 5.

24. P2 - 98 min. - Directed by: Franck Khalfoun. Netflix. DVD - Better than I was expecting. It, of course, stars Wes Bentley (sans baggie) and Rachel Nichol's boobs. And truthfully, her boobs give an Oscar-nominating performance. It will bring a tear to your eye. The depth. The emotion. 3.5 "Oscar, are you listening?"'s out of 5.

10/09

25. Rosemary's Baby - 136 min. - Directed by: Roman Polanski. Netflix. MaxHD - OK, it's been so long since I've seen this, I figured I might as well DVR it and get it a skin. Still a terrific flick and Mia Farrow is just awesome here. Looked better than I expected in HD too, grainy as hell, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 4.5 "..and Husband of the Year goes to..."'s out of 5.

26. [●REC] - 78 min. - Directed by: Paco Plaza and Jaume Balagueró. Netflix. DVD - Alright I admit, this one was purely peer pressure. I figured hell, everyone else is watching it, I haven't seen it in a couple months, might as well watch it. Still a great flick. Not that interested in the remake, though. Plus, the trailer like, gives away the ending. Nerds. 4.5 "I can't be the only one who wanted to bone Manuela Velasco.."'s out of 5.

27. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead - 103 min. - Directed by: Lloyd Kaufman. Netflix. DVD - Without a doubt the best Troma flick since the original Toxic Avenger. I loved every second of this. I wish it was 3 hours longer. It had everything you'd ever want in a movie. Gore, lesbians, musical numbers about salad tossing, chicken zombies, you name it, it's here. A def. recommendation for every Troma fan. 4 "mm, I'll have a Cluckwork Orange please."'s out of 5.

28. 6 Films to Keep You Awake: The Blame - 72 min. - Directed by: Narciso Ibáńez Serrador. Netflix. DVD - Yes, it has a message. Abortion, blah, blah. As a horror film though, It fails. It does nothing that could even keep me awake during the film, and it was barely over an hour long. The acting was competent enough, but the rest did nothing for me. 1 "Fetus meet Toilet"'s out of 5.

29. 6 Films to Keep You Awake: Spectre - 75 min. - Directed by: Mateo Gil. Netflix. DVD - While better than "The Blame", still nothing special. Honestly, it's more of a coming-of-age story than an actual Horror film. Plus, there's a supposed "twist" that doesn't actually twist. It just sits there, motionless. Plus, I was hoping for a movie with, um, a different Spectre. 2 "Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey!"'s out of 5.

10/10

30. Wicked Lake - 95 min. - Directed by: Zach Passero. Netflix. DVD - Completely unnecessary. Brings nothing to the table. Except of course 4 women spending most of the movie topless and making out. Which of course is fun, but I can see that for free on Spankwire. With better plots, too. Gore is almost non-existent, there is buckets of blood, though. 2 "Hello, ladies. I'm here to fix the plumbing.."'s out of 5.

31. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds - 100 min. - Directed by: John Gulager. Netflix. DVD - I loved every second of it. This quite a fun little ride that I would recommend to anybody that is at least a moderate fan of the first flick. There's more. More of everything. More gore, More boobs, more various colored liquids. Now, bring on part 3. Plus, there's midget wrestling. I'm sold. 4 "Take that, you annoying ass baby!"'s out of 5.

32. The Shining - 146 min. - Directed by: Stanley Kubrick. Netflix. Blu-ray - Yeah, what can I really say about this, at this point? I figured since I had the Blu copy sitting on my shelf since it was released, and I still hadn't opened it, that it was time. I'm glad I did. The transfer was terrific, and seeing it in 16:9 was a revelation. 5 "somebody's gone carazzzy!"'s out of 5.

10/11

33. Bug - 102 min. - Directed by: William Friedkin. Netflix. DVD - The first time I saw this in the theater, I actually couldn't stop laughing. It was probably the drugs, but who knows. There's something about the "Super Mother Bug" bit that always made me smirk. This time, it hit me. This is a much better film than I gave it credit for. Kudos to you Mr. Friedkin. Oh, and Ashley Judd, still hot. 3.5 ""'s out of 5.

WILDCARD* "Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Conversations with Dead People" - 42 min. - Probably my favorite episode of my favorite show (well, second favorite. "Angel" would later overtake it) of all time.

34. Resident Evil - 100 min. - Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson. Netflix. Blu-ray - Yeah, I don't know why I enjoy this film. It has three things in it I hate. Paul W.S. Anderson, Michelle Rodriguez and Milla Jovovich's voice. Finally got to open up my Blu, that I bought on release day. Damn, these things are taken forever. Anyway, the terrific transfer REALLY makes the fake CG look even worse than it did in Standard. Anyway, I still get to see Milla's nipples, so I'm happy. 3 "Somebody shut her up!"'s out of 5.

10/12

35. The Monster Squad - 82 min. - Directed by: Fred Dekker. Netflix. DVD - God, I used to love this film when I was a youngin. This got 24/7 marathons around my house, until the friggin' VHS tape started getting all fuzzy and snapped. It wasn't until many, many years later that I realized Lions Gate was putting out this awesome 2-discer. I must say, the film still holds up. There's a certain amount of cheese to it, but who cares? Oh, and for the un-initiated yes, the Wolfman does infact have nards. 4 "Rudy can kick Lucas Barton's Ass!"'s out of 5.

36. Pulse 2: Afterlife - 88 min. - Directed by: Joel Soisson. Netflix. DVD - Ok, OK. I admit I have no idea why I watched this. I hated the first Pulse (except for my future ex-wife), didn't even care for the original that much. The director only makes horrible sequels to movies that don't need them, and the story seemed pointless. So, yeah, I watched it. Now I wish I didn't. Oh, and another thing: John Gulager in his underwear. Ugh. Thank you, Bob and Harvey fucking Weinstein. .5 "I was so bored, I didn't even care when a boob popped up (or technically, out)"'s out of 5.

37. Cannibal - 90 min. - Directed by: Marion Dora. Netflix. DVD - I can usually sit through every type of film without feeling even the slightest amount of uncomfortableness. Yeah, that was true. Until I watched this. It actually took a few tries to finish it. This should be watched only to fill your quota of "castration" films. Oh, and the only thing worse than the film is the story it was based on: here. 3 "No, don't bite it. I beg of you don't.. ah damn, he bit it!"'s out of 5. DVDTalk.

38. Haute Tension ("High Tension") - 91 min. - Directed by: Alexandre Aja. Netflix. DVD - Still holds up. Awesome flick. Giannetto de Rossi does what he does best, unparalleled gore effects. I mean fuck, this guy has Zombie, The Beyond and Once Upon a Time in the West on his resume. The direction is terrific, from the pacing to the awesome Maniac-inspired restroom scene. A must see/love despite it's scooby-esque ending. 4 "How did her teeth get so white after all that blood?"'s out of 5.

10/13

39. Dance of the Dead - 95 min. - Directed by: Gregg Bishop. Netflix. DVD - I don't care what you think, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Yes, the guys are too dorky to even sniff the panties of the girls they're supposedly hooking up with, but it's all in fun. Plus, the cheerleader is pretty cute (and supposedly on an episode of One Tree Hill) and I think the one guy was in "The Signal".. but anyway, I enjoyed it. 3.5 "Nice helmet."'s out of 5.

40. Re-Animator - 86 min. - Directed by: Stuart Gordon. Netflix. DVD - A definite classic and one of my all time favorites. That's what I love about this "challenge", it's giving me an opportunity to go back and re-watch alot of flicks that, well, I've seen a shitload of times, but never lose that certain something that made me fall in love with it to begin with. Again, everything about this is classic. 5 "If someone were to make a film about David Gale's life, what would they call it? Here's a suggestion."'s out of 5.

41. Dard Divorce - 82 min. - Directed by: Olaf Ittenbach. DivX - This is the great Ittenbach (Premutos, The Haunting of Rebecca Verlaine) doing his Hostel impression. I guess he figured "fuck it", he eats outrageous gore for breakfast, might as well attempt the "torture" genre (I refuse to call it "torture porn"). Well, the acting is terrible (or the accents are), the sound mix is embarrassing but it succeeds in gore. Like all his films do. Including one torture scene that goes so far, it's actually really funny. 2.5 "Least it was better than "Captivity" but then again, most things are."'s out of 5.

10/14

42. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer - 83 min. - Directed by: John McNaughton. Netflix. DVD - Another favorite of mine and in my opinion, still holds up today even though most of the effects do not. After reading the boards on IMDB I'm utterly convinced have to be younger than 14 to post there. They talk about this film like it's the second coming of "Howard the Duck" (a movie I happen to love, btw). Well, I guess that's why I rarely read those "boards". But anyway, the Home Invasion scene is still in my top 5 most disturbing scenes ever. 5 "What are you doing?" "I wanna watch it again""'s out of 5.

43. Stuck - 94 min. - Directed by: Stuart Gordon. Netflix. Blu-ray - Eh. The movie seemed way to Hollywood to me. I mean, I don't get. The original story (here), to me, is way more interesting than the one they made up. I dunno. Plus, I never been a big fan of Mena Suvari, but the cornrows gotta go. They should never, NEVER be worn by anyone who isn't black. Actually for that matter, I don't think they can pull it off either. 2.5 "Do I smell a "Humanitarian of the Year" award coming?"'s out of 5.

10/15

44. The Midnight Meat Train - 100 min. - Directed by: Ryuhei Kitamura. Netflix. FearNetHD - It was alright. Nothing at all special, in fact. The acting was OK, and Leslie Bibb is definitly cute. But some of the gore looked way too CG for me. That's one thing I can't stand. Well, one of the things I can't stand. Anyway, not a terrible film but coulda been much better. 3 "Vinnie Jones is and will be the man. At least for the foreseeable future."'s out of 5.

10/16

45. Poltergeist - 114 min. - Directed by: Tobe Hooper. Netflix. Blu-ray - Still as great as I remember it, from when I was younger. Haven't actually viewed it probably around 10 years. Coach is the man in it, and I STILL hate clowns because of this frickin' movie. Oh, and the Blu is a nice little package, sucks they left off any worthwhile extras, though. 4.5 "Is there anybody who filmed this that DIDN'T die?"'s out of 5.

46. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - 92 min. - Directed by: Scott Glosserman. Netflix. Starz2HD - Wasn't the biggest fan of this the first time I saw it, but I guess it took the right mood, because after watching it again I quite like it. Again, another movie with a cameo from one of the "icons" which like I keep saying gets quite annoying, and don't know why Starz! entertainment needs to put one of them in every movie they release. Well, the lead chick is cute in an innocent kinda way. 3 "Worst. Mask. Ever."'s out of 4.

47. WILDCARD* - Supernatural - "Monster Movie" - Excellent black-n-white episode of perhaps, the best show on Television right now.

48. Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! - 82 min. - Directed by: Jason Murphy. Netflix. DVD - I usually have nothing against straight-to-DVD Zombie flicks, but this film might single-handedly change my opinion of them. This is straight-to-YouTube. Nothing redeeming about it. At all. There's practically no nudity, no gore (and the gore there is, is just about the worst CG you can imagine). Anyway, I'll speak about it no more. 0 "not even worth it"'s out of 5.

10/17

49. The Hitcher [remake] - 84 min. - Directed by: Dave Meyers. Netflix. DVD - I actually liked this one. Then again I wasn't a big fan of the original either. Well, fuck what I just said. I'm just biased towards this because Sophia Bush is in it, and god is Sophia Bush hot. Damn, just all Sophia Bush and everything. Wow, I can't stop saying her name. Sophia Bush. 3 "oh, and Sean Bean is badass too."'s out of 5.

50. Altered - 88 min. - Directed by: Eduardo Sánchez. Netflix. DVD - Better than I expected. Pretty much about a group of friends who after being abducted by aliens, and one of them killed, years earlier decide to get revenge by kidnapping an alien and holding him hostage in thier garage. Like I said, better than I anticipated. The accents and the overacting get annoying quickly, but oh well. 3 "I want to believe!"'s out of 5.

51. Funny Games [remake] - 111 min. - Directed by: Michael Haneke. Netflix. DVD - I had seen the original flick a couple months ago, and thought it was just ridiculous. BUT, I figured (stupid me) that with better actors, I dunno, that it would be better. Like I said, stupid me. If anything, it's worse. Practically shot-for-shot, which is stupid to begin with, and they decided to keep the breaking the 4th wall gimmick. I don't know what to say. I'm stumped. 1 "Really. Them? I've had sweat wiped off my taint more threatening than them."'s out of 5.

52. A Nightmare on Elm Street - 91 min. - Directed by: Wes Craven. Netflix. DVD - Obviously a classic. Has everything you'd want. A young Heather Langenkamp. Johnny Depp being eaten by a bed, and oh yeah, an EVIL Freddy Krueger (remember when?) Ah.. like I said, a classic. 4 "..and it all goes downhill from here."'s out of 5.

10/18

53. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - 87 min. - Directed by: Jack Sholder. Netflix. DVD - The homosexual subtext all but whips its cock out and smacks you with it. I happen to like this sequel, even though it seems extremely out of place when in line with the rest of the series. 3 "Pool Party!!!"'s out of 5.

54. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - 96 min. - Directed by: Chuck Russell. Netflix. DVD - Probably my favorite sequel after New Nightmare. A pre-Morpheus "Larry" Fishburne co-stars with an uber-cute (then) Patricia Arquette. This has plenty of images I still remembered from when I was a youngster. 3.0 "Hey look, Heather's back. Hi Heather!"'s out"

55. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - 99 min. - Directed by: Renny Harlin. Netflix. DVD - I didn't remember a thing about this film. Nothing stood out. The only thing I remember is the one chick's name was Tuesday Knight. I mean, seriously. Somebody slap her parents. 2 "I'm Wednesday, how're you?"'s out 5.

56. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - 89 min. - Directed by: Stephen Hopkins. Netflix. DVD - Pretty forgettable other than the freaky annoying kid from Full House. Better than part 4 though. 2 "Speaking of Full House, what the hell happened to Stephanie? She used to be hot.."'s out of 5.

10/19

57. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - 96 min. - Directed by: Rachel Talalay. Netflix. DVD - Most people don't like this, but I found it funny. Plus, Freddy's got himself a power glove. Mad props on that. 3 "this review is coming to you in the THIRD DIMENSION!"'s out of 5.

58. Wes Craven's New Nightmare - 112 min. - Directed by: Wes Craven. Netflix. DVD - My favorite of the Nightmare sequels. Other than the annoying kid, this one is the longest, but flows by the fastest. Oh, and Wes needs to stay away from the camera. He can't act, and he's not interesting. I don't care that everyone loves monkeys. The Freddy make-up is improved, though.3.5 "..and finally it's over."'s out of 5.

59. The Ring [remake] - 115 min. - Directed by: Gore Verbinski. Netflix. TNTHD - Definitely one of the better remakes out there save for a ridiculously stupid editing choice made during the finale. Naomi Watts is total MILF here, even if her accent is a little um, strong is a nice way to put it. The kid is annoying, but all kids are, so no biggie. Still holds up. 4 "I don't care what anyone says it's ALOT better than any of the 4 sequels"'s out of 5.

60. Final Destination 2 - 90 min. - Directed by: David R. Ellis. Netflix. DVD - My favorite of the Destination flicks. Maybe because I'm a gore hound, and IMO the deaths are the most gory in this one. The crash choreography in the opening is phenomenal and the lead actress, A.J. Cook is mighty cute. Oh, and I almost forgot Clark's wife Alicia is in this. 3.5 "Notice how I didn't mention Ali Larter? I dunno, to me, it always looks like she hasn't slept in about a week"'s out of 5.

10/20

61. Summer Scars - 68 min. - Directed by: Julian Richards. Netflix. DVD - Eh, pretty good. Nothing too spectacular. It's really short, which is one of the things that works for it. It's more or less about a buncha whiny British kids who cut school and go in the woods only to be held hostage by a crazy guy who still thinks he's still in the war. Good performances by non-actors, but again, nothing too special. 3 "So, you got hair on your balls?"'s out of 5.

62. Salo, or the 120 days of Sodom - 116 min. - Directed by: Pier Paolo Pasolini. Netflix. DVD - More of a drama than "Horror", but definitely features some horrific imagery. Plus, it has shit eating. That always falls under the horrific category to me. Except, well, for that one time, but that's not here nor there. Still pretty good but not the masterpiece it's made out to be. 3 "Orgy! Orgy! Orgy!"'s out of 5.

63. Dumplings ("Gaau ji") - 91 min. - Directed by: Fruit Chan. Netflix. DVD - Who would've thought that in a film compilation with the likes of Takashi Miike and Chan Wook-Park that the stand-out flick would be a small little film by, um, Fruit Chan. This is just an awesome piece of film. Not REALLY horror, but definitely horrific. I'm not the biggest Bai Ling fan but she's good in this. 4 "Fetuses taste great, but you're still hungry after an hour!"'s out of 5.

10/21

64. Aftermath/Genesis [with director commentary] - 70 min. - Directed by: Nacho Cerda. Netflix. DVD - Still tough to watch, even with the commentary on. Genesis is probably my favorite of the three shorts, but Aftermath is still awesome in it's own right. What Pep Tosar must've gone through. Yeah, tough to watch, even if you've seen it before. 4 "..."'s out of 5.

65. Friday the 13th - 95 min. - Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham. Netflix. DVD - I haven't seen this one in quite a bit, still good, not great. Look, it's Kevin Bacon. That's all I can really say about this. Not nearly as good as Nightmare. 3 "I'll be honest, the Nintendo game scared the SHIT outta me when I was a kid.."'s out of 5.

66. Michael Lives: The Making of Halloween - 240 min. - Directed by: Rob Zombie. Netflix. Blu - I didn't think it'd be possible to sit through a 4 hr. 20 min. long documentary on a film I just absolutely hated. But this was very well done. Like I said in the other thread, there's more Danielle Harris, which is always a good thing. In fact, more films need more Danielle Harris. 4 "Who's bright idea was it to film a behind the scenes documentary in 2.35:1?"'s out of 5.

10/22

67. Gutterballs - 94 min. - Directed by: Ryan Nicholson. DVD - Hilarious. Gory as hell. Everything you'd want/expect in a throwback to 80's slasher films. All the deaths are creative (with probably the most creative way to kill 2 people who're in the middle of a 69), the opening rape scene might actually be longer than the one in Irreversible (it also involves a bowling pin, the BIG end) and has a tranny having his/her dick sliced down the middle (Pain Olympics style). All in all, a good time at the movies. 3.5 "Ouch, that's gotta hurt!"'s out of 5.

10/23

68. The Strangers - 85 min. - Directed by: Bryan Bertino. Netflix. Blu-ray - While not as good as "Them" still a pretty good little film. Speedman is OK, but Liv Tyler is the star here. Not only is she hot in it, she's actually good. Oh, and Dennis is here. Awesome. 3 "dude, you're an elf. Use your elf powers to kill them.."'s out of 5.

69. The Machine Girl - 96 min. - Directed by: Noboru Iguchi. Netflix. DVD - Technically, not a horror movie. More of a revenge flick, but who the hell cares. It's gory as all hell, Tokyo Shock released it and there's a drill bra in it. 'Nuff said. 4 "again, a drill bra!"'s out of 5.

70. Darkness: The Vampire Version - 90 min. - Directed by: Leif Jonker. Netflix. DVD - Terrific little gem of a gorefest. Probably the goriest vampire flick ever made. Pretty much a mixture of a Vampire flick and a Melt movie. The transfer looks like absolute ass, but all is forgiven. Oh, and awesome trailer, too. 3.5 "great extras, also"'s out of 5.

71. WILDCARD* - "Supernatural: Yellow Fever" - Another good episode of what, like I said, is probably the best show on TV. Great special effects.

10/24

72. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - 116 min. - Directed by: Tim Burton. Netflix. Blu-ray - I hate Tim Burton. I hate musicals. Yet I like this movie, Why? 3.5 "I'm waiting.."'s out of 5.

Time for a "Sylvia Likens" double feature:

73. The Girl Next Door - 91 min. - Directed by: Gregory Wilson. Netflix. DVD - Tough to watch, that's for sure. I just don't get why added some of the cringe-worthy moments for "shock value" when the actual TRUE story (link above) is shocking enough. That's cause there's something wrong with Jack Ketchum (spell checker is trying to get me to write Ketchup). Therapy might help. 3 "My turn, my turn"'s out of 5.

74. An American Crime - 98 min. - Directed by: Tommy O'Haver. Netflix. DVD - A more dramatic take on the above story, staring Juno as Sylvia. It's just that more dramatic, they cut out quite a bit of the stuff that Jack Ketchum added because he's insane. Still tough to watch, but deals alot with the trial (kinda like Emily Rose) 2.5 "Juno still sucks.."'s out of 5.

75. WILDCARD* - The X-Files "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" - Just an all-around awesome episode. Peter Boyle is the shit.

10/25

76. Feed - 101 min. - Directed by: Brett Leonard. Netflix. DVD - Just, eww. Fairly mediocre film from the guy who brought us "Man-Thing". Pretty disgusting, but the editing is shit. Oh, look the dude from Moonlight. Anyway, about the Feeder/Gainer phenomenon about dudes who feed women until they can't well, you can figure it out. 2.5 "..and if you're interested in that type of thing: this is for you"'s out of 5.

77. The Redsin Tower - 88 min. - Directed by: Fred Vogel. DVD - The newest movie from the guy who directed the "August Underground" trilogy, and it's almost as bad. Some bad overacting, unattractive females. It's only saving grace is the gore and seeing a woman violently raped by thin air. 2 "I think Mr. Vogel should consider retirement"'s out of 5.

78. Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy - 60 min. - Directed by: Takao Nakano. DVD - I figured alot of people were watching "Teeth" which I wasn't a huge fan of, so I decided to put this little flick in. This is THE vagina with teeth film. Gore for the sake of gore. Chinese girls each with bigger tits than the one that died before her and of course, blurry pubic hair. 3 ""'s out of 5.

79. Shaun of the Dead - 99 min. - Directed by: Edgar Wright. Netflix. HD-DVD - A definite new classic. Just all around great. Just, yeah.. I'm speechless. Amongst all the standouts (and there are many) Nick Frost should be mentioned first.4.5 "Aim for the head.."'s out of 5.

10/26

80. Planet Terror - 105 min. - Directed by: Robert Rodriguez. Netflix. DVD - I happen to think that Death Proof is the better film (I know, I'm in the minority) but there's no question this is just awesome. I mean seriously, it's Robert Rodriguez doing a Zombie flick. Enough said. Oh, and Rose McGowan is hot here. 4 "Who knew Freddy Rodriguez could be so bad ass?"'s out of 5.

I also watched the following trailers: "Machete", "Werewolf Women of the S.S.", "Don't", "Thanksgiving" and "Hobo With a Shotgun"

10/27

81. Rohtenburg ("Grimm Love") - 90 min. - Directed by: Martin Weisz. DIVx - I was curious, mainly due to the fact that it had been banned and it was based on Arwin Meiwes (which the way more awesome "Cannibal" was based on) and it turns out this movie was pretty forgettable and can easily see why it hasn't been released yet. Here or abroad. 2 "Bite it!"'s out of 5.

10/28

82. Zombie Strippers - 94 min. - Directed by: Jay Lee. Netflix. Blu-ray - I happen to like this flick, much better than Jay Lee's first film, which bored me to tears. The racist stereotypes with the Mexican janitor were hilarious (badgers?), and maybe it's just me, but I still think Jenna Jameson looks more like a Zombie without all the make-up. 3 "Stripper Zombie dance-off! What-what!"'s out of 5.

83. Beetlejuice - 92 min. - Directed by: Tim Burton. Netflix. Blu-ray - Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Candyman, doh'. I haven't seen this film in about a decade, and not being the biggest Tim Burton fan, it's still entertaining, but not as good as I remember it. It's amazing to see how thin Alec Baldwin was back then, though. Oh, plus Michael Keaton was terrific here. 3 "..daylight come and me wanna go home?"'s out of 5.

84. Ils ("Them") - 77 min. - Directed by: David Moreau and Xavier Palud. Netflix. DVD - After watching "The Strangers" a couple days ago, I had to put this bad boy in. This is, IMO, a better film than it's remake and am pretty pissed that that film gets a DTS-MA track while this doesn't. That would be awe-inspiring. 4 "See. If you would just play with the damn kids, this whole thing would have never happened.."'s out of 5.


10/29

85. Der Todesking - 80 min. - Directed by: Jörg Buttgereit. DVD - I'm sorry, but this guy is a complete hack. This is the fourth film of his I've seen, and each film is worse than the one that came before it. That's about it. 1.5 "Oh, the threesome scene in "Nekromantik" was hilarious. Forgot about that."'s out of 5.

86. Young Frankenstein - 106 min. - Directed by Mel Brooks. Netflix. Blu-ray - Still as hilarious as the first time I watched it. So many quotable lines, even after the 20th time you see it. Absolute classic. The Blu-ray is phenomenal, too. 5 "Frau Blucher!"'s out of 5.

87. Splinter - 82 min. - Directed by: Toby Wilkins. Netflix. HDNet Movies - I guess it was OK. I'm not a big fan of the "shake the camera so much you can't see anything" way of film making. It worked for Cloverfield and the like because that's it's gimmick, here it's just used on occasion to mask the fact that I dunno, the suit didn't look right, or to be "scary" or you know. Anyway.. Jill Wagner is smokin' hot, so it's worth a look-see. 2.5 "der, is that the guy from Road Trip? Why yes, I guess it is."'s out of 5.


10/30

88. Braindead - 104 min. - Directed by: Peter Jackson. Netflix. DVD - This is a must. I don't care if it's October or not, this is a must watch practically every month of the year. I figured I'd break out my fully uncut Blood Edition. There's just so much awesomeness in this I wouldn't know where to start or end. If you haven't seen it, well, watch it. 5 "Lionel? You're mother ate my dog!"'s out of 5.

89. The Evil Dead - 85 min. - Directed by: Sam Raimi. Netflix. DVD - Still, one the best horror flicks of all time. Yes, Ash is a pussy here. But no biggie. Still features some of the most innovative camera tricks on no-budget ever. A classic. Fo'sho. 5 "Oh, Ashley... um, Ashley?"'s out of 5.

90. Ŕ l'intérieur ("Inside") - 82 min. - Directed by: Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury. Netflix. DVD - I've seen this film 4 times now, and yet I still refuse to watch the behind the scenes documentary that comes on the disc. Yeah, I honestly don't give a shit how or why they made this film. It's quickly become one of my favorite new flicks of the last 5 years. Brutal as shit. The tension makes my stomach hurt. Oh, and Beatrice Dalle was ridiculous in this. 5 "Just.. wow"'s out of 5.

91. Suspiria - 98 min. - Directed by: Dario Argento. Netflix. DVD - This is, well, what can I really say about it. It's really, really pretty for starters. Someone needs to phone the Weinstein's and tell them to release this in Blu-ray like soon. We're talking tomorrow. I've seen the film probably around 10, 11 times and it still holds up. Oh, and damn its pretty. 4.5 "oh, and loud, too! This in TrueHD would be a just awesome"'s out of 5.

92. Hellraiser - 94 min. - Directed by: Clive Barker. Netflix. HDNet Movies - This really wasn't on my slate, but HDNet was playing and I said, ah fuck it. I liked it a lot more when I was younger. I dunno. 3 "Jesus Wept!"'s out of 5.

10/31

93. Halloween - 91 min. - Directed by: John Carpenter. Netflix. Blu-ray - It would be a little, just a little, sad if I needed to explain why this flick was chosen. Obviously a classic. Oh, and PJ Soles was really cute back when. Plus, she shows her boobs. Well, she wasn't as cute as Heather Bowen was in the "25 years of Terror" documentary, but she was close.

94. The Exorcist: The Version I've Seen Two Time Prior - 132 min. - Directed by: William Friedkin. Netflix. DVD - I still find this film inexplicably funny. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, yeah, it's a classic. What more can I actually say about it. 5 "Crucifix shaped dildo's? Of course, father."'s out of 5.

95. Fear of God: Making the Exorcist - 74 min. DVD - One of, if not the most entertaining making-of docs about a film I've ever seen. Great stories, great interviews. The whole nine. Plus, it features the original version of the spider-walk, which is about 6 times more creepy than the one they put in the film.

96. WILDCARD* - Ghost Hunters "Live Halloween Event" - This show, along with the people on it, are a joke. It IS entertaining though, but not for the reasons, I hope, they think it is. Oh, this chick is pretty cute though.

GOAL: 31. SECOND GOAL: 50. THIRD GOAL: 72.
ACTUAL TITLES WATCHED: 96
WILDCARDS: 6

((some links are NSFW))

- indicates first time viewing
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Last edited by LickTheABCs; 11-06-08 at 12:12 AM.
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